Fire Safety Lecture
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We just had our Bi-annual Fire Safety lecture and it was the usual boring stuff. At the end we were asked if there were any questions. Up pipes our Quantity Surveyor with the best question to use at such things... "OK, you have told us and shown us how to put out paper fires, electrical fires and so on, but what about the flames that start when you stick a wooden stake through a Vampire's heart, how do you put them out?" The instructor replied "You don't, you let them sons of bitches burn all the way back to hell!"
--------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^]
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We just had our Bi-annual Fire Safety lecture and it was the usual boring stuff. At the end we were asked if there were any questions. Up pipes our Quantity Surveyor with the best question to use at such things... "OK, you have told us and shown us how to put out paper fires, electrical fires and so on, but what about the flames that start when you stick a wooden stake through a Vampire's heart, how do you put them out?" The instructor replied "You don't, you let them sons of bitches burn all the way back to hell!"
--------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^]
Best one I had was when I worked for Rutherford Labs - which shared it's fire service with Harwell Nuclear Research next door. As a result, us wet-behind-the-ears first year uni students (including a Polish girl under armed guard) on our first Industrial Placement were taken to Harwell and shown how to fight all kinds of fires, including Uranium which needs a very special extinguisher as it burns in the absence of direct oxygen (it's perfectly happy burning underwater, or in pure CO2). Thankfully, they didn't demonstrate that one... :omg:
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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We just had our Bi-annual Fire Safety lecture and it was the usual boring stuff. At the end we were asked if there were any questions. Up pipes our Quantity Surveyor with the best question to use at such things... "OK, you have told us and shown us how to put out paper fires, electrical fires and so on, but what about the flames that start when you stick a wooden stake through a Vampire's heart, how do you put them out?" The instructor replied "You don't, you let them sons of bitches burn all the way back to hell!"
--------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
we were asked if there were any questions
I always wanted to ask them, "Since there is a policy of 'No smoking' in the building, if I catch on fire am I allowed to smoke then?"
Why is common sense not common? Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level where they are an expert. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to be lazy Please stand in front of my pistol, smile and wait for the flash - JSOP 2012
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We just had our Bi-annual Fire Safety lecture and it was the usual boring stuff. At the end we were asked if there were any questions. Up pipes our Quantity Surveyor with the best question to use at such things... "OK, you have told us and shown us how to put out paper fires, electrical fires and so on, but what about the flames that start when you stick a wooden stake through a Vampire's heart, how do you put them out?" The instructor replied "You don't, you let them sons of bitches burn all the way back to hell!"
--------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^]
:laugh:
Life - Dreams = Job TheCardinal
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Best one I had was when I worked for Rutherford Labs - which shared it's fire service with Harwell Nuclear Research next door. As a result, us wet-behind-the-ears first year uni students (including a Polish girl under armed guard) on our first Industrial Placement were taken to Harwell and shown how to fight all kinds of fires, including Uranium which needs a very special extinguisher as it burns in the absence of direct oxygen (it's perfectly happy burning underwater, or in pure CO2). Thankfully, they didn't demonstrate that one... :omg:
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
:) Reminds me of when I used to work at a Chemical plant. The onsite fire dept told us that if there were a fire to just get the hell out as the proper Fire Brigade had already stated that if the place where to go up there is no way in hell they would go in after anyone - it was far to risky for them due to all the explosive chemicals on site! Nice comforting thought. :)
"Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick." ~ Garth Algar "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." ~ Paul Neal "Red" Adair
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:) Reminds me of when I used to work at a Chemical plant. The onsite fire dept told us that if there were a fire to just get the hell out as the proper Fire Brigade had already stated that if the place where to go up there is no way in hell they would go in after anyone - it was far to risky for them due to all the explosive chemicals on site! Nice comforting thought. :)
"Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick." ~ Garth Algar "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." ~ Paul Neal "Red" Adair
Health and Safety at it's best! :laugh:
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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Health and Safety at it's best! :laugh:
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
A few years ago at my mum and dad's one evening I looked out of a rear window and saw what appeared to be a large fire a few streets away. So obviously my dad and I wondered off to have a watch. When we got there an industrial unit was well ablaze, and as it turns out I knew the owner, he is a scouser, and was on holiday at the time - you can draw your own conclusions, I couldn't possibly speculate, but he has a much bigger house now, he's even built turrets on it. But I digress. As the crowd gathered to watch the fire brigade turned up. We then watched as the firemen ran around and around, up and down streets, shouting if anyone had seen a fire hydrant. The the gas cylinders started exploding.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends. Shed Petition[^]
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We just had our Bi-annual Fire Safety lecture and it was the usual boring stuff. At the end we were asked if there were any questions. Up pipes our Quantity Surveyor with the best question to use at such things... "OK, you have told us and shown us how to put out paper fires, electrical fires and so on, but what about the flames that start when you stick a wooden stake through a Vampire's heart, how do you put them out?" The instructor replied "You don't, you let them sons of bitches burn all the way back to hell!"
--------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^]
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Best one I had was when I worked for Rutherford Labs - which shared it's fire service with Harwell Nuclear Research next door. As a result, us wet-behind-the-ears first year uni students (including a Polish girl under armed guard) on our first Industrial Placement were taken to Harwell and shown how to fight all kinds of fires, including Uranium which needs a very special extinguisher as it burns in the absence of direct oxygen (it's perfectly happy burning underwater, or in pure CO2). Thankfully, they didn't demonstrate that one... :omg:
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
Uranium is unique stuff. When machining U2Mo the chips would spontaneously combust. Note, I was the requester, not the person doing the machining.
