Work Weirdo's
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From different companies I nominate: AG: A legend in his own lunch break and a total pratt. He was always bad-mouthing other employees and when they came into the office he was as sweet as syrup. He liked to boast that his IQ was the highest break in snooker, 147. He was clever, for sure, knew his stuff but as a technical manager he couldn't motivate a bucket of piss. PM: A big fat bloke who delighted in farting often and loud. I can laugh at lavatorial humour on the worst of days but he got right up my nose, literally. He was another self-important tosser but give him credit, he was excellent at 1st-line support and knew the company's databases intimately. His ability to clear support calls was really appreciated. Often, he'd sit quitely staring beyond his monitor (there was fuck all behind it). Obviously he'd seen something in the ether that we couldn't. GC: She was PM's manager. Scottish. Average-looking slag (I did say Scottish, didn't I? :-D) I used to love winding her up. Utterly gullible and she'd go off to the loo talking to herself. She couldn't hold eye contact. Her gaze was always on the floor even, I suspect, when making phone calls. She'd chair the morning change control meetings and she would do nothing but face the whiteboard even when taking questions. How she got to be a manager we never worked out. Inept. She had nice wotsits though. GK: Bloke I knew in Joburg. A lovable chap, always smiling, willing to help, very clever. But don't lend him trailers. He wrote off three, one of which went head-over-heels and nearly overtook him at speed as it wasn't hitched to the towbar securely. He apparently rushed home and placed all his shopping on the stove - a ring was still on. He came back to find cat food on his ceiling. Totally unlucky in love. Dressed like a vagrant and sometimes ponged a bit like one. Eccentric but a decent guy. MT: A huge, morbidly obese Canadian. He used to walk up Commissioner Street in Joburg talking to everyone under the sun - people he didn't know. He'd sit in the canteen eating buckets full of food as it was a free canteen. He tried losing weight by running around the long corridors and he once raced into a meeting, threw himself into the chair but his, easily, 150Kg weight was too much. The chair broke underneath him. We could do nothing but piss ourselves laughing. Sad thing is, nobody could pull the broken chair off him and an ambulance had to be called. He muttered, "basstard, basstard, basstard..." for ages.
"I do not have to forgive m
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We are all in the sort of field that attracts eccentrics and let's face it downright weirdos. The place I work has quite a few I will list them here. 1.) MW. I think I have mentioned him before, he stares at his screen-saver for two hour periods(no exaggeration) he also disappears for longer periods, nobody anywhere on site sees him during these periods and nobody knows where he goes. We suspect he returns to the Mother Ship. 2.) SJ. He collects Oranges, Clementines and Satsumas on top of his Desktop in various stages of decomposition. Some have been there for over a year and are nothing but a small grey furball, I have no idea why he does this, I don't really talk to him so can't really ask out of the blue, but I would love to know. I can only he assume has a bad case of syphilis and needs to grow his own Penicillin. 3.) IS. This man is more of an eccentric than a weirdo. He has made it to this list because he lets his kids dress him in the morning. That's right whatever they choose he wears it. Sometimes he doesn't match, sometimes he clashes but everytime without fail he looks like a Dick. He does it because his Kids like to do it so good on him. What weirdos do you work with name and shame them here. P.S. If you can't think who the weirdo is at your work then it's you!
We've got something of an eccentric superstar. Thinks he knows better than everyone which is why he reimplements everything from scratch, including large parts of ADO.net. He won't trust anything by a third party, that includes most of his colleagues and Microsoft. He once told me that my ASP.net MVC frontend had "too many dependencies on IIS" and told me to remove them all before integrating it with his stuff, claims COM is easier to maintain and deploy than .net, asserts that a service-consuming application should never reference anything from System.ServiceModel, despite all the WCF client stuff being in there.. I could go on forever. I used to get annoyed at him but since I came back from xmas holiday and saw his new desk I'm convinced he's just a bit of a weirdo. Instead of sitting like any other normal person, he's got himself a wooden, tall breakfast bar table which is fine for standing up and working, only he sits perched on the wooden bar stool that comes with the table. He also drinks chocolate milk through a straw and blinks uncontrollably when you talk to him. One final year apprentice we've got is a proper tool. Comes to work in a suit complete with bluetooth earpiece even though he's actually a support tech who does a bit of development work that the other devs can't be arsed with. Won't listen to a word of advice during code reviews and openly says he doesn't care that his reflection-based masterpiece of solid WTF is practically unmaintainable by anyone other than him because and I quote, "I'll be long gone by then". Has a big mouth and an even bigger opinion of himself. Management material. Needs a massive kick in the balls from a thousand thai boxers and professional footballers. We've got some characters who shout and swear a lot, or look like they've had too much high powered blotter acid for breakfast but they're more or less OK. Then there's this other guy who drinks ten cups of tea a day, constantly watches documentaries on youtube, goes on about the need for UML, patterns, unit tests and decoupling til he's blue in the face and posts on this site full of weirdos called codeproject.. can't stand him.
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PHS241 wrote:
How she got to be a manager we never worked out
PHS241 wrote:
She had nice wotsits
I think I worked it out.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends. Shed Petition[^]
That was probably it now you mention it. Definitely stick in the eye pokies if only she could ever look at anyone face on.
"I do not have to forgive my enemies, I have had them all shot." — Ramón Maria Narváez (1800-68). "I don't need to shoot my enemies, I don't have any." - Me (2012).
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What ever you do, you are outstanding in your field. Or is that out standing...
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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We are all in the sort of field that attracts eccentrics and let's face it downright weirdos. The place I work has quite a few I will list them here. 1.) MW. I think I have mentioned him before, he stares at his screen-saver for two hour periods(no exaggeration) he also disappears for longer periods, nobody anywhere on site sees him during these periods and nobody knows where he goes. We suspect he returns to the Mother Ship. 2.) SJ. He collects Oranges, Clementines and Satsumas on top of his Desktop in various stages of decomposition. Some have been there for over a year and are nothing but a small grey furball, I have no idea why he does this, I don't really talk to him so can't really ask out of the blue, but I would love to know. I can only he assume has a bad case of syphilis and needs to grow his own Penicillin. 3.) IS. This man is more of an eccentric than a weirdo. He has made it to this list because he lets his kids dress him in the morning. That's right whatever they choose he wears it. Sometimes he doesn't match, sometimes he clashes but everytime without fail he looks like a Dick. He does it because his Kids like to do it so good on him. What weirdos do you work with name and shame them here. P.S. If you can't think who the weirdo is at your work then it's you!
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I'm not sure we have anyone here who is an out and out weirdo. Just your run of the mill oddities that can probably be found anywhere. A lot of them have been here a long time and there is a strangeness that comes over all who have settled into the same groove for many, many years. Last place I worked I'll have a go at. PT - Supposed development manager, complete social inadequate. Lived on his own, living room was a single chair, a projector and screen, with games consoles and freeview box linked to it. Once turned up late to a meeting because he had been watching Pokemon. Once said he had had Smarties cereal for breakfast, when challenged "I didn't know they made a cereal" replied "It was just a bowl of Smarties". Got the job because he had been there since the start. One of the main reasons I left. ***EDIT - Sorry, Smarties cereal was IT Crowd, he said Skittles, and this was several years before The IT Crowd. Yes, he was that much of a cliche. AM - Started out as a 16 year old, mum knew the IT Director. Very smart, very capable, extremely intense. Got sacked for shagging the 15 year old work experience girl who was also the daughter of the HR manager. They remained in a relationship for over 4 years. Recently saw him again (7 year later) working in MacDonalds. Can't remember his name - didn't turn up one day, then the police did and took a load of computers away. Now in prison. TB - known as monkey since he turned up one day in a jumper that looked like this fella[^]. Once deleted a directory of source code by mistake; this led to the introduction of SCM. Once moved a directory of source code to a different directory by mistake. Once drove into one of the 4 foot high boulders used for traffic management on the site whilst waving good bye to someone, hit it square in the middle of the front bumper and put a V shape into the car, writing it off. Once went into town at lunchtime, when got back to car it wouldn't unlock. Phone breakdown, when they got there discovered he had been using his wife's keys to get in (not sure why he had them), his keys were in the other pocket. Once driving to work when his puppy jumped out of the car window at 60mph. It rolled down the road and was apparently unharmed. I could go on and on to be honest. J can't remember his surname - completely dominated by his
ChrisElston wrote:
Got sacked for shagging the 15 year old work experience girl who was also the daughter of the HR manager.
Depending on the company's relationship rules, he could have had a case for wrongful termination. Would definitely make for an interesting first impression on potential in-laws... :laugh:
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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From different companies I nominate: AG: A legend in his own lunch break and a total pratt. He was always bad-mouthing other employees and when they came into the office he was as sweet as syrup. He liked to boast that his IQ was the highest break in snooker, 147. He was clever, for sure, knew his stuff but as a technical manager he couldn't motivate a bucket of piss. PM: A big fat bloke who delighted in farting often and loud. I can laugh at lavatorial humour on the worst of days but he got right up my nose, literally. He was another self-important tosser but give him credit, he was excellent at 1st-line support and knew the company's databases intimately. His ability to clear support calls was really appreciated. Often, he'd sit quitely staring beyond his monitor (there was fuck all behind it). Obviously he'd seen something in the ether that we couldn't. GC: She was PM's manager. Scottish. Average-looking slag (I did say Scottish, didn't I? :-D) I used to love winding her up. Utterly gullible and she'd go off to the loo talking to herself. She couldn't hold eye contact. Her gaze was always on the floor even, I suspect, when making phone calls. She'd chair the morning change control meetings and she would do nothing but face the whiteboard even when taking questions. How she got to be a manager we never worked out. Inept. She had nice wotsits though. GK: Bloke I knew in Joburg. A lovable chap, always smiling, willing to help, very clever. But don't lend him trailers. He wrote off three, one of which went head-over-heels and nearly overtook him at speed as it wasn't hitched to the towbar securely. He apparently rushed home and placed all his shopping on the stove - a ring was still on. He came back to find cat food on his ceiling. Totally unlucky in love. Dressed like a vagrant and sometimes ponged a bit like one. Eccentric but a decent guy. MT: A huge, morbidly obese Canadian. He used to walk up Commissioner Street in Joburg talking to everyone under the sun - people he didn't know. He'd sit in the canteen eating buckets full of food as it was a free canteen. He tried losing weight by running around the long corridors and he once raced into a meeting, threw himself into the chair but his, easily, 150Kg weight was too much. The chair broke underneath him. We could do nothing but piss ourselves laughing. Sad thing is, nobody could pull the broken chair off him and an ambulance had to be called. He muttered, "basstard, basstard, basstard..." for ages.
"I do not have to forgive m
PHS241 wrote:
She couldn't hold eye contact. Her gaze was always on the floor ... She had nice wotsits though
It was probably better that way. She wouldn't catch you staring... ;P
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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We've got something of an eccentric superstar. Thinks he knows better than everyone which is why he reimplements everything from scratch, including large parts of ADO.net. He won't trust anything by a third party, that includes most of his colleagues and Microsoft. He once told me that my ASP.net MVC frontend had "too many dependencies on IIS" and told me to remove them all before integrating it with his stuff, claims COM is easier to maintain and deploy than .net, asserts that a service-consuming application should never reference anything from System.ServiceModel, despite all the WCF client stuff being in there.. I could go on forever. I used to get annoyed at him but since I came back from xmas holiday and saw his new desk I'm convinced he's just a bit of a weirdo. Instead of sitting like any other normal person, he's got himself a wooden, tall breakfast bar table which is fine for standing up and working, only he sits perched on the wooden bar stool that comes with the table. He also drinks chocolate milk through a straw and blinks uncontrollably when you talk to him. One final year apprentice we've got is a proper tool. Comes to work in a suit complete with bluetooth earpiece even though he's actually a support tech who does a bit of development work that the other devs can't be arsed with. Won't listen to a word of advice during code reviews and openly says he doesn't care that his reflection-based masterpiece of solid WTF is practically unmaintainable by anyone other than him because and I quote, "I'll be long gone by then". Has a big mouth and an even bigger opinion of himself. Management material. Needs a massive kick in the balls from a thousand thai boxers and professional footballers. We've got some characters who shout and swear a lot, or look like they've had too much high powered blotter acid for breakfast but they're more or less OK. Then there's this other guy who drinks ten cups of tea a day, constantly watches documentaries on youtube, goes on about the need for UML, patterns, unit tests and decoupling til he's blue in the face and posts on this site full of weirdos called codeproject.. can't stand him.
jim lahey wrote:
Management material. Needs a massive kick in the balls from a thousand thai boxers and professional footballers. Chuck Norris
FTFY. It'll hurt more. :thumbsup:
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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I think I am the weirdo/eccentric here.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.
I think we all our somebody's weirdos, I mean look what we do for a living :)
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We are all in the sort of field that attracts eccentrics and let's face it downright weirdos. The place I work has quite a few I will list them here. 1.) MW. I think I have mentioned him before, he stares at his screen-saver for two hour periods(no exaggeration) he also disappears for longer periods, nobody anywhere on site sees him during these periods and nobody knows where he goes. We suspect he returns to the Mother Ship. 2.) SJ. He collects Oranges, Clementines and Satsumas on top of his Desktop in various stages of decomposition. Some have been there for over a year and are nothing but a small grey furball, I have no idea why he does this, I don't really talk to him so can't really ask out of the blue, but I would love to know. I can only he assume has a bad case of syphilis and needs to grow his own Penicillin. 3.) IS. This man is more of an eccentric than a weirdo. He has made it to this list because he lets his kids dress him in the morning. That's right whatever they choose he wears it. Sometimes he doesn't match, sometimes he clashes but everytime without fail he looks like a Dick. He does it because his Kids like to do it so good on him. What weirdos do you work with name and shame them here. P.S. If you can't think who the weirdo is at your work then it's you!
Jimmy Savile wrote:
1.) MW. I think I have mentioned him before, he stares at his screen-saver for two hour periods(no exaggeration) he also disappears for longer periods, nobody anywhere on site sees him during these periods and nobody knows where he goes. We suspect he returns to the Mother Ship.
Check a bathroom stall. People nap there. At my old job, the weirdest person we had was "Momma's Boy" He talked about 2 volume levels higher than appropriate. He would go to the bathroom all the time, frequently, with a fantasy novel. He would sit in the stall and presumably read the novel. When he would leave the bathroom he would never wash his hands.
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Jimmy Savile wrote:
1.) MW. I think I have mentioned him before, he stares at his screen-saver for two hour periods(no exaggeration) he also disappears for longer periods, nobody anywhere on site sees him during these periods and nobody knows where he goes. We suspect he returns to the Mother Ship.
Check a bathroom stall. People nap there. At my old job, the weirdest person we had was "Momma's Boy" He talked about 2 volume levels higher than appropriate. He would go to the bathroom all the time, frequently, with a fantasy novel. He would sit in the stall and presumably read the novel. When he would leave the bathroom he would never wash his hands.
wizardzz wrote:
Check a bathroom stall. People nap there.
Done that and found nothing. Unless he goes to a stall elsewhere on the site as it's quite a big location.
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Jimmy Savile wrote:
1.) MW. I think I have mentioned him before, he stares at his screen-saver for two hour periods(no exaggeration) he also disappears for longer periods, nobody anywhere on site sees him during these periods and nobody knows where he goes. We suspect he returns to the Mother Ship.
Check a bathroom stall. People nap there. At my old job, the weirdest person we had was "Momma's Boy" He talked about 2 volume levels higher than appropriate. He would go to the bathroom all the time, frequently, with a fantasy novel. He would sit in the stall and presumably read the novel. When he would leave the bathroom he would never wash his hands.
wizardzz wrote:
he would never wash his hands
Probably the novel was clean.
BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff
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We are all in the sort of field that attracts eccentrics and let's face it downright weirdos. The place I work has quite a few I will list them here. 1.) MW. I think I have mentioned him before, he stares at his screen-saver for two hour periods(no exaggeration) he also disappears for longer periods, nobody anywhere on site sees him during these periods and nobody knows where he goes. We suspect he returns to the Mother Ship. 2.) SJ. He collects Oranges, Clementines and Satsumas on top of his Desktop in various stages of decomposition. Some have been there for over a year and are nothing but a small grey furball, I have no idea why he does this, I don't really talk to him so can't really ask out of the blue, but I would love to know. I can only he assume has a bad case of syphilis and needs to grow his own Penicillin. 3.) IS. This man is more of an eccentric than a weirdo. He has made it to this list because he lets his kids dress him in the morning. That's right whatever they choose he wears it. Sometimes he doesn't match, sometimes he clashes but everytime without fail he looks like a Dick. He does it because his Kids like to do it so good on him. What weirdos do you work with name and shame them here. P.S. If you can't think who the weirdo is at your work then it's you!
I worked with a guy who sat on a Barney the Dinosaur floatie (a.k.a. "Water Wing") all day. I think he needed one of those inflatable donuts that people get from their doctor, after (I'm guessing) hemorrhoid surgery, but he didn't want to pay the inevitable premium associated with medical supplies. He was actually a good developer, but "eccentric" would be putting it mildly.
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jim lahey wrote:
Management material. Needs a massive kick in the balls from a thousand thai boxers and professional footballers. Chuck Norris
FTFY. It'll hurt more. :thumbsup:
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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:omg: ... :wtf: ... :~ ... X|
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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I worked with a guy who sat on a Barney the Dinosaur floatie (a.k.a. "Water Wing") all day. I think he needed one of those inflatable donuts that people get from their doctor, after (I'm guessing) hemorrhoid surgery, but he didn't want to pay the inevitable premium associated with medical supplies. He was actually a good developer, but "eccentric" would be putting it mildly.
_beauw_ wrote:
I worked with a guy who sat on a Barney the Dinosaur floatie
I think that wins.
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_beauw_ wrote:
I worked with a guy who sat on a Barney the Dinosaur floatie
I think that wins.
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wizardzz wrote:
he would never wash his hands
Probably the novel was clean.
BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff
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wizardzz wrote:
Check a bathroom stall. People nap there.
Done that and found nothing. Unless he goes to a stall elsewhere on the site as it's quite a big location.
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is he fat by any chance? If he isn't yet he will be.
He is fat. Wears an ear ring, and walks like a woman. :~
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
