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Brit Required

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • M MadGerbil

    I need a tea expert. I enjoy iced tea, which I suspect is an abomination to most Brits, but I believe there are a few things things that should be true about all tea whether iced or served hot. The tea I buy from our local cafe is cloudy. It used to be very clear (like a jar full of honey) but now it looks as if it was made by placing tea leaves in a blender and atomizing them. I feel as if I should be able to see through a glass container of tea - the world on the other side clearly visible through an amber lense. I may have to go back to making my own tea, which isn't good, because I make it too strong and it stops up my plumbing. Am I wrong about this? Am I drinking mud?

    M Offline
    M Offline
    Maximilien
    wrote on last edited by
    #24

    Iced tea needs to be "cold" brewed. 'nuff said.

    Nihil obstat

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    • M MadGerbil

      I don't do sugar. That is nas-tastic. I will put in the equivalent of an entire lemon into a 24oz glass of tea though, much to the frustration of wait stafff that are forever running back to the kitchen to get extra lemon. The smart ones bring out a small plate of lemon slices.

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      Dalek Dave
      wrote on last edited by
      #25

      Sugar in tea is what gave us The Empire! We invaded India to steal the tea and shipped slaves to the colonies to cut our sugar. The milk, we had already.

      --------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^]

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      • M Maximilien

        Iced tea needs to be "cold" brewed. 'nuff said.

        Nihil obstat

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        MadGerbil
        wrote on last edited by
        #26

        You are my brother from another mother. I'm glad there are other tea pagans here. :-D

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        • M MadGerbil

          I'm not sure that the Brits here would consider tea a laughing matter. I'll leave you to your fate.

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          Dalek Dave
          wrote on last edited by
          #27

          The History Of The East India Company[^] (HHGTTG Reference thrown in for free).

          --------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^]

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          • M MadGerbil

            You have the answer to perfect tea and deny me the information? Sir, you are cruel.

            M Offline
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            Matthew Faithfull
            wrote on last edited by
            #28

            Perhaps if I whisper no one else will notice. The perfect cup of tea requires a few things, first a white porcelain tea cup of reasonable depth, secondly a proper stainless steel tea spoon. One of Griff's coffee spoons won't do the trick, they're too small. Then a really good tea, bags or leaves doesn't matter, the fresher the better, must be Indian. Steep the tea in the cup by pouring boiling water over it as you do and then the crucial tricky part. When is the tea perfectly brewed? The answer is surprisingly simple and surprisingly complicated. The tea is perfectly brewed when the bottom of the cup is no longer visible ( hence the need for a proper white porcelain tea cup ) and when at the exact depth of a tea spoon the tea is red in colour. Test this by dipping in a spoon and taking out a level teaspoon full, to be examined from above in daylight. ( hence the need for a proper sized spoon and no mat alluminium rubbish ). The tea should be red, niether yellow (under done ) nor brown (over done). At the exact moment this is so, and it is but a moment, the leaves placed by whatever means, should be removed and voila as M'Fermat would have said you have the perfect cup of tea. Why does this work? Only a deity of tea would know for sure but I can tell you that it accounts for all the important factors including the time of day which determines the angle of the daylight for the red test. This is why sublime tea is only achievable at tea time and tea is second best in the early morning. The light being too low or too high will distort the test. As one gets older one eyes become less sensative to blue light and everything appears relatively redened which accounts perfectly for the liking of older people for weaker tea. Builders who work outdoors in bluer light will get the stronger tea they prefer and us sedentry types a happy medium. The perfect cup of tea is the universes way of telling us that at some level it all does fit together and make sense and of course that there's no better way to enjoy it than being British. :-D

            "The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom, courage." Thucydides (B.C. 460-400)

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            • M MadGerbil

              I'm not really to the point where I have different types of tea for different times of the day. On a personal note, I'm just not that sophisticated - I still struggle with the concept of not picking my nose in public.

              C Offline
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              CMullikin
              wrote on last edited by
              #29

              MadGerbil wrote:

              I still struggle with the concept of not picking my nose in public.

              When did this happen? :sigh:

              The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

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              • M MadGerbil

                I need a tea expert. I enjoy iced tea, which I suspect is an abomination to most Brits, but I believe there are a few things things that should be true about all tea whether iced or served hot. The tea I buy from our local cafe is cloudy. It used to be very clear (like a jar full of honey) but now it looks as if it was made by placing tea leaves in a blender and atomizing them. I feel as if I should be able to see through a glass container of tea - the world on the other side clearly visible through an amber lense. I may have to go back to making my own tea, which isn't good, because I make it too strong and it stops up my plumbing. Am I wrong about this? Am I drinking mud?

                P Offline
                P Offline
                peterchen
                wrote on last edited by
                #30

                As another tea geek, I have to out myself: Iced tea isn't an abomination by itself - but selling overly sweetened "fruit" juice with traces of ingredients almost, but not entirely unlike tea as, well, iced tea is. Plain tea - a strong-ish Celyon or a not to stong Assam, not or slightly sweetened and well iced is a treat on a hot summer day (something those brits don't know about, obviously). As for cloudy, nope, shouldn't happen, unless it's a specialty tea I never heard of.

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                • D Dexterus

                  A jar full of honey is not clear ...

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                  Corporal Agarn
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #31

                  Actually it depends on the type of honey. If you do not buy your honey at a mega store you find there are various grades of honey. From almost clear to almost black. I remeber that the dark stuff around here is from buckwheat. Clover is very light.

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                  • P peterchen

                    As another tea geek, I have to out myself: Iced tea isn't an abomination by itself - but selling overly sweetened "fruit" juice with traces of ingredients almost, but not entirely unlike tea as, well, iced tea is. Plain tea - a strong-ish Celyon or a not to stong Assam, not or slightly sweetened and well iced is a treat on a hot summer day (something those brits don't know about, obviously). As for cloudy, nope, shouldn't happen, unless it's a specialty tea I never heard of.

                    ORDER BY what user wants

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    MadGerbil
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #32

                    Thank you Peter, you are a light in a cloudy world.

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                    • M Maximilien

                      Iced tea needs to be "cold" brewed. 'nuff said.

                      Nihil obstat

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      PIEBALDconsult
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #33

                      What about "sun tea"?

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • P peterchen

                        As another tea geek, I have to out myself: Iced tea isn't an abomination by itself - but selling overly sweetened "fruit" juice with traces of ingredients almost, but not entirely unlike tea as, well, iced tea is. Plain tea - a strong-ish Celyon or a not to stong Assam, not or slightly sweetened and well iced is a treat on a hot summer day (something those brits don't know about, obviously). As for cloudy, nope, shouldn't happen, unless it's a specialty tea I never heard of.

                        ORDER BY what user wants

                        N Offline
                        N Offline
                        Nagy Vilmos
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #34

                        I regularly drink Iced Tea; Long Island Iced Tea. :-D


                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

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                        • M MadGerbil

                          I need a tea expert. I enjoy iced tea, which I suspect is an abomination to most Brits, but I believe there are a few things things that should be true about all tea whether iced or served hot. The tea I buy from our local cafe is cloudy. It used to be very clear (like a jar full of honey) but now it looks as if it was made by placing tea leaves in a blender and atomizing them. I feel as if I should be able to see through a glass container of tea - the world on the other side clearly visible through an amber lense. I may have to go back to making my own tea, which isn't good, because I make it too strong and it stops up my plumbing. Am I wrong about this? Am I drinking mud?

                          H Offline
                          H Offline
                          hairy_hats
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #35

                          Darjeeling for a lighter tea or Lapsang Souchong for a stronger one, or at work, green tea as I don't trust the milk.

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                          • P Pete OHanlon

                            A good tea should be a uniform golden shade. There is only one thing worse than the abomination that is iced tea, and that is tea with milk in. I would recommend a good Earl Grey or Darjeeling. If you can get some, I would also recommend Dimbulla (a Ceylon tea). It's my favourite early morning tea.

                            I was brought up to respect my elders. I don't respect many people nowadays.
                            CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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                            Nagy Vilmos
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #36

                            Gun Powder is a pretty good tea as well.


                            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • M MadGerbil

                              I'm not sure that the Brits here would consider tea a laughing matter. I'll leave you to your fate.

                              W Offline
                              W Offline
                              wizardzz
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #37

                              I think some patriots in Boston realized that a couple hundred years ago. They aren't well armed these days. What are they going to do, hurt me with sarcastic and undercutting remarks?

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                              • P peterchen

                                As another tea geek, I have to out myself: Iced tea isn't an abomination by itself - but selling overly sweetened "fruit" juice with traces of ingredients almost, but not entirely unlike tea as, well, iced tea is. Plain tea - a strong-ish Celyon or a not to stong Assam, not or slightly sweetened and well iced is a treat on a hot summer day (something those brits don't know about, obviously). As for cloudy, nope, shouldn't happen, unless it's a specialty tea I never heard of.

                                ORDER BY what user wants

                                W Offline
                                W Offline
                                wizardzz
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #38

                                I used to drink 64 oz of unsweetened iced tear per day. Used about 7 teabags.

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                                • H hairy_hats

                                  Darjeeling for a lighter tea or Lapsang Souchong for a stronger one, or at work, green tea as I don't trust the milk.

                                  C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  Chris Quinn
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #39

                                  Lapsang is the one tea I detest - it tastes like liquidised kippers!


                                  It's well known that if all the cat videos and porn disappeared from the internet there would be only one site left and it would be called whereareallthecatvideosandporn.com


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                                  • N Nagy Vilmos

                                    I regularly drink Iced Tea; Long Island Iced Tea. :-D


                                    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    peterchen
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #40

                                    To wash down the gin's aftertaste, I presume.

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                                    • M MadGerbil

                                      I need a tea expert. I enjoy iced tea, which I suspect is an abomination to most Brits, but I believe there are a few things things that should be true about all tea whether iced or served hot. The tea I buy from our local cafe is cloudy. It used to be very clear (like a jar full of honey) but now it looks as if it was made by placing tea leaves in a blender and atomizing them. I feel as if I should be able to see through a glass container of tea - the world on the other side clearly visible through an amber lense. I may have to go back to making my own tea, which isn't good, because I make it too strong and it stops up my plumbing. Am I wrong about this? Am I drinking mud?

                                      K Offline
                                      K Offline
                                      Kevin Marois
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #41

                                      Remember, the Brits are the same people who call trucks 'Lorrys' and crackers 'Bisquets'. I really wish they would speak english :):):)

                                      If it's not broken, fix it until it is

                                      M M 2 Replies Last reply
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                                      • K Kevin Marois

                                        Remember, the Brits are the same people who call trucks 'Lorrys' and crackers 'Bisquets'. I really wish they would speak english :):):)

                                        If it's not broken, fix it until it is

                                        M Offline
                                        M Offline
                                        MadGerbil
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #42

                                        I think we should give our slow friends over the pond a bit of a break.

                                        F 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • W wizardzz

                                          I think some patriots in Boston realized that a couple hundred years ago. They aren't well armed these days. What are they going to do, hurt me with sarcastic and undercutting remarks?

                                          M Offline
                                          M Offline
                                          MadGerbil
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #43

                                          wizardzz wrote:

                                          They aren't well armed these days. What are they going to do, hurt me with sarcastic and undercutting remarks?

                                          You would likely not get invited to the Downton Abbey Christmas party next year. Your standing in the community would be devastated.

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