Ambush
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Just love it when then marketing team ambushes the development team after a standup meeting. No bigger waste of time than listen to these elephants drone on with buzzword after buzzword to try to sound intelligent in front productive people. So frustrating.:mad::mad::mad:
CPallini wrote:
You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:
Wait! Even though we all believe (and our best testing indicates) that marketing people are useless wastes of air, you might want to try being "nice" to them, at least for a short time. Marketing people have something we programmers don't: The key to the closet where they keep the free stuff. :cool: Through careful experimentation (upon marketing and sales people) I have determined that treating them with even marginal respect can confuse them enough that you can get: - Graft your company is supposed to give to customers - Tickets to concerts and sporting events - Free stuff vendors give them, etc. NOTE: If no results are seen after ~20 minutes, immediately terminate the respectful attitude. No sense being a sucker. Good luck, and godspeed!
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Wait! Even though we all believe (and our best testing indicates) that marketing people are useless wastes of air, you might want to try being "nice" to them, at least for a short time. Marketing people have something we programmers don't: The key to the closet where they keep the free stuff. :cool: Through careful experimentation (upon marketing and sales people) I have determined that treating them with even marginal respect can confuse them enough that you can get: - Graft your company is supposed to give to customers - Tickets to concerts and sporting events - Free stuff vendors give them, etc. NOTE: If no results are seen after ~20 minutes, immediately terminate the respectful attitude. No sense being a sucker. Good luck, and godspeed!
The only free stuff we have is coffee mugs. Not worth the effort to fake be nice.
CPallini wrote:
You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:
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The only free stuff we have is coffee mugs. Not worth the effort to fake be nice.
CPallini wrote:
You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:
Shelby Robertson wrote:
The only free stuff we have that they tell you about is coffee mugs.
The good stuff is kept for bribes. You think customers buy things for a coffee mug? :laugh:
The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt -
Shelby Robertson wrote:
The only free stuff we have that they tell you about is coffee mugs.
The good stuff is kept for bribes. You think customers buy things for a coffee mug? :laugh:
The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)
OriginalGriff wrote:
You think customers buy things for a coffee mug?
Heck no, I just got club seat tickets to see the Canucks and Red Wings battle it out on Saturday night. I just love free hockey tickets.
Independent ACN Business Owner
Need a new cell phone? We supply most of the major carriers. Telus in Canada. Flash, Verizon, T-Mobile and Sprint in the USA. O2, talkmobile, tmobile, orange, three, and vodafone in Europe. See my website for details.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
Within you lies the power for good; Use it!
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MehGerbil wrote:
If you, as a programmer, don't know how to reduce an entire marketing team to tears, then I have to wonder about your qualifications to be in this game.
Fair point. At this point I prefer to bitch about it, charge an hour to the time code for useless meetings and go have a bourbon.
CPallini wrote:
You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:
Sounds like standard operating procedure to me. :laugh:
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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OriginalGriff wrote:
You think customers buy things for a coffee mug?
Heck no, I just got club seat tickets to see the Canucks and Red Wings battle it out on Saturday night. I just love free hockey tickets.
Independent ACN Business Owner
Need a new cell phone? We supply most of the major carriers. Telus in Canada. Flash, Verizon, T-Mobile and Sprint in the USA. O2, talkmobile, tmobile, orange, three, and vodafone in Europe. See my website for details.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
PJ Arends wrote:
Canucks and Red Wings
Not much of a hockey game. ;P
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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OriginalGriff wrote:
You think customers buy things for a coffee mug?
Heck no, I just got club seat tickets to see the Canucks and Red Wings battle it out on Saturday night. I just love free hockey tickets.
Independent ACN Business Owner
Need a new cell phone? We supply most of the major carriers. Telus in Canada. Flash, Verizon, T-Mobile and Sprint in the USA. O2, talkmobile, tmobile, orange, three, and vodafone in Europe. See my website for details.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
One small(ish - about 70 employees) company I worked for, one customer did start dropping some pretty heavy hints for a new Jaguar, even specifying the colour. The SalesBot did take it to the managing director, but we didn't get the contract. He did allegedly start driving a new, racing green Jag soon after - just before he lost his job...
The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)
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PJ Arends wrote:
Canucks and Red Wings
Not much of a hockey game. ;P
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
Colin Mullikin wrote:
Not much of a hockey game
Free tickets, so who really cares how good the game is?
Independent ACN Business Owner
Need a new cell phone? We supply most of the major carriers. Telus in Canada. Flash, Verizon, T-Mobile and Sprint in the USA. O2, talkmobile, tmobile, orange, three, and vodafone in Europe. See my website for details.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
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Just love it when then marketing team ambushes the development team after a standup meeting. No bigger waste of time than listen to these elephants drone on with buzzword after buzzword to try to sound intelligent in front productive people. So frustrating.:mad::mad::mad:
CPallini wrote:
You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:
Shelby Robertson wrote:
buzzword after buzzword
Ask for each buzzword what it means and try to find the logic in their statements. Give a summary when they finish, summing up all the facts stated. Next, count the people in the room, take a rough guess on their salary and explain how much money was wasted on listening to fluff.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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MehGerbil wrote:
If you, as a programmer, don't know how to reduce an entire marketing team to tears, then I have to wonder about your qualifications to be in this game.
Fair point. At this point I prefer to bitch about it, charge an hour to the time code for useless meetings and go have a bourbon.
CPallini wrote:
You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:
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Shelby Robertson wrote:
buzzword after buzzword
Ask for each buzzword what it means and try to find the logic in their statements. Give a summary when they finish, summing up all the facts stated. Next, count the people in the room, take a rough guess on their salary and explain how much money was wasted on listening to fluff.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
You mean, actually listen to what a salesman is saying? That could put my BS meter completely on the fritz through overload. Actually, at one time, I was a tech rep. Besides having to help customers solve technical problems which meant I had to have technical skills, I had to go to sales calls. Part of my job there, was to look calm and assured while the sales rep spouts blatant lies. I wasn't too good at that part, I finally managed to look calm at these meetings. The worst time in that job was being interviewed by the FBI in a fraud investigation. I think what I said there caused a change in the logging procedure. I said something like, "I don't know. It is possible he did that, but the logs don't record that activity, so I can't say one way or the other." Two weeks later, the logs did start recording that activity.
