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Users Are Evil

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helploungelearning
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  • L Lost User

    You can literally sit in a meeting with a user, look her in the eye and say, "I need a copy of this file as it comes from the bank - DO NOT EDIT IT" and she'll shake her head as if to indicate understanding. The user will then: 1: Download the bank file. 2: Open the comma delimited file in Notepad. 3: Do a find/replace on a few broken values. 4: Save the file. 5: Open it in Excel and change the column order. 6: Delete several rows that are 'gibberish'. 7: Add a few rows that have to be there for it to work properly. 8: Export the file as tab delimited. 9: Attach it to an email with the following message in the body: "This is the file I received from the bank". I had a developer in my office this morning pulling her hair out over this issue because after 6 months of development we are only now getting the actual bank file. Of course, the new file is easy enough to import but the changes the user was making masked a few problem areas that need to now be addressed. The people who know the least about a process are your users. You'd do better to ask a random stranger. I know my boss has always been critical of my methods but when I go to create a system I usually don't even look at the system I'm replacing or any of it's documentation because that confusing nest of lies will only add 50% to the development time. The reality is that user authored documentation is at best a wild guess and most likely intentional corporate sabotage authored by a demon possessed sadists.

    J Offline
    J Offline
    Joezer BH
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Never heard of backups mate? :wtf:

    // TODO: Create nice signature

    L 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • J Joezer BH

      Never heard of backups mate? :wtf:

      // TODO: Create nice signature

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      I'm not understanding your comment. This is a case where the user is claiming to have not edited a file after doing extensive editing. We certainly don't have back up issues.

      OriginalGriffO D 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • L Lost User

        I'm not understanding your comment. This is a case where the user is claiming to have not edited a file after doing extensive editing. We certainly don't have back up issues.

        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriff
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        MehGerbil wrote:

        We certainly don't have back up issues.

        Wel the user seems to have got your back up! :laugh:

        The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)

        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

        L 1 Reply Last reply
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        • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

          MehGerbil wrote:

          We certainly don't have back up issues.

          Wel the user seems to have got your back up! :laugh:

          The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          I'm not sure where you're going with this Giffy, but based on your posting history I'm going to fire off the eject seat now and hope I land in a pillow field.

          OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • L Lost User

            You can literally sit in a meeting with a user, look her in the eye and say, "I need a copy of this file as it comes from the bank - DO NOT EDIT IT" and she'll shake her head as if to indicate understanding. The user will then: 1: Download the bank file. 2: Open the comma delimited file in Notepad. 3: Do a find/replace on a few broken values. 4: Save the file. 5: Open it in Excel and change the column order. 6: Delete several rows that are 'gibberish'. 7: Add a few rows that have to be there for it to work properly. 8: Export the file as tab delimited. 9: Attach it to an email with the following message in the body: "This is the file I received from the bank". I had a developer in my office this morning pulling her hair out over this issue because after 6 months of development we are only now getting the actual bank file. Of course, the new file is easy enough to import but the changes the user was making masked a few problem areas that need to now be addressed. The people who know the least about a process are your users. You'd do better to ask a random stranger. I know my boss has always been critical of my methods but when I go to create a system I usually don't even look at the system I'm replacing or any of it's documentation because that confusing nest of lies will only add 50% to the development time. The reality is that user authored documentation is at best a wild guess and most likely intentional corporate sabotage authored by a demon possessed sadists.

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dalek Dave
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            Wouldn't the simple solution be to put in place an automatic forward rule?

            --------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur. CCC Link[^]

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • L Lost User

              You can literally sit in a meeting with a user, look her in the eye and say, "I need a copy of this file as it comes from the bank - DO NOT EDIT IT" and she'll shake her head as if to indicate understanding. The user will then: 1: Download the bank file. 2: Open the comma delimited file in Notepad. 3: Do a find/replace on a few broken values. 4: Save the file. 5: Open it in Excel and change the column order. 6: Delete several rows that are 'gibberish'. 7: Add a few rows that have to be there for it to work properly. 8: Export the file as tab delimited. 9: Attach it to an email with the following message in the body: "This is the file I received from the bank". I had a developer in my office this morning pulling her hair out over this issue because after 6 months of development we are only now getting the actual bank file. Of course, the new file is easy enough to import but the changes the user was making masked a few problem areas that need to now be addressed. The people who know the least about a process are your users. You'd do better to ask a random stranger. I know my boss has always been critical of my methods but when I go to create a system I usually don't even look at the system I'm replacing or any of it's documentation because that confusing nest of lies will only add 50% to the development time. The reality is that user authored documentation is at best a wild guess and most likely intentional corporate sabotage authored by a demon possessed sadists.

              Z Offline
              Z Offline
              ZurdoDev
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              Users, who needs them? Often times when my boss tells me of a user reporting an issue I say the user is crazy. There is no way it happened the way they said it did. And sure enough, almost all of the time I am right. When you get them to show you what they did it is often not even close to what they said they had done. Good thing we aren't users, right? ;)

              There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

              Q G 2 Replies Last reply
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              • Z ZurdoDev

                Users, who needs them? Often times when my boss tells me of a user reporting an issue I say the user is crazy. There is no way it happened the way they said it did. And sure enough, almost all of the time I am right. When you get them to show you what they did it is often not even close to what they said they had done. Good thing we aren't users, right? ;)

                There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

                Q Offline
                Q Offline
                QuiJohn
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                ryanb31 wrote:

                Often times when my boss tells me of a user reporting an issue I say the user is crazy. There is no way it happened the way they said it did. And sure enough, almost all of the time I am right. When you get them to show you what they did it is often not even close to what they said they had done.

                Whenever I'm accosted with some horrendous bug on some simple operation that a user ran into - an operation that has been in the software unmodified for years - I repeatedly say, "There's more to the story. They're not telling us something." "Nope, that's what they're saying." "That can't happen." "They say it is." "It ran for 4 years just fine then suddenly acted up. Did they ever update their software?" "No." "So did the software get rusty? Does it need its oil changed?" "What?" "JUST GET MORE INFO!" Invariably there's either something completely unrelated to what they originally said or they withheld some import information like - and I'm not kidding - rewiring something that just happened to correspond to the day it stopped working. Also, we log everything the customer does, so we can go step by step through what they did. "So, you lowered the alarm threshold at 12:53 PM on Tuesday, and the next time you ran it the alarm went off unexpectedly." Gah.

                Look at me still talking when there's science to do When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you

                Z 1 Reply Last reply
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                • Q QuiJohn

                  ryanb31 wrote:

                  Often times when my boss tells me of a user reporting an issue I say the user is crazy. There is no way it happened the way they said it did. And sure enough, almost all of the time I am right. When you get them to show you what they did it is often not even close to what they said they had done.

                  Whenever I'm accosted with some horrendous bug on some simple operation that a user ran into - an operation that has been in the software unmodified for years - I repeatedly say, "There's more to the story. They're not telling us something." "Nope, that's what they're saying." "That can't happen." "They say it is." "It ran for 4 years just fine then suddenly acted up. Did they ever update their software?" "No." "So did the software get rusty? Does it need its oil changed?" "What?" "JUST GET MORE INFO!" Invariably there's either something completely unrelated to what they originally said or they withheld some import information like - and I'm not kidding - rewiring something that just happened to correspond to the day it stopped working. Also, we log everything the customer does, so we can go step by step through what they did. "So, you lowered the alarm threshold at 12:53 PM on Tuesday, and the next time you ran it the alarm went off unexpectedly." Gah.

                  Look at me still talking when there's science to do When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you

                  Z Offline
                  Z Offline
                  ZurdoDev
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  :)

                  Quote:

                  "It ran for 4 years just fine then suddenly acted up."

                  That's because code evolves right? Ghosts in the machines? Code is stupid. It does exactly what it is told, nothing more and nothing less.

                  There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

                  N 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • Z ZurdoDev

                    :)

                    Quote:

                    "It ran for 4 years just fine then suddenly acted up."

                    That's because code evolves right? Ghosts in the machines? Code is stupid. It does exactly what it is told, nothing more and nothing less.

                    There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

                    N Offline
                    N Offline
                    Nicholas Marty
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    However there may be cases you haven't foreseen and it suddenly acts up just because "it does exactly what it is told" ;) good examples are the leapyear and summer time / standard time changes ;) I remember that the whole windows azure went down because of a bug with this. Linky Link[^]

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                    • L Lost User

                      I'm not sure where you're going with this Giffy, but based on your posting history I'm going to fire off the eject seat now and hope I land in a pillow field.

                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                      OriginalGriff
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      Put down the ejection handle! It's an English phrase you probably haven't heard of: Get Your Back Up[^]

                      The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)

                      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • N Nicholas Marty

                        However there may be cases you haven't foreseen and it suddenly acts up just because "it does exactly what it is told" ;) good examples are the leapyear and summer time / standard time changes ;) I remember that the whole windows azure went down because of a bug with this. Linky Link[^]

                        Z Offline
                        Z Offline
                        ZurdoDev
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        Good point. I had to fix a weird bug where a previous developer download some code off the internet, compiled it into a dll, but hard-coded October 2010 as the last date this particular function would keep working. Luckily I found the source code online, downloaded it, made our small custom change, and did not include his ridiculous time bomb. :)

                        There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • N Nicholas Marty

                          However there may be cases you haven't foreseen and it suddenly acts up just because "it does exactly what it is told" ;) good examples are the leapyear and summer time / standard time changes ;) I remember that the whole windows azure went down because of a bug with this. Linky Link[^]

                          Q Offline
                          Q Offline
                          QuiJohn
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          Nicholas Marty wrote:

                          However there may be cases you haven't foreseen and it suddenly acts up just because "it does exactly what it is told" ;) good examples are the leapyear and summer time / standard time changes

                          That is a very good point. Kidding aside, I take every report seriously and investigate it as if it may be true. But sometimes it becomes clear very quickly that they're not telling us everything. I won't say there's nothing wrong (until I can prove it) - just that given the info they provide, there is something missing that prevents me from reproducing it. I give them the benefit of the doubt for as long as I can stand it. I let our product support people put it diplomatically.

                          Look at me still talking when there's science to do When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • L Lost User

                            You can literally sit in a meeting with a user, look her in the eye and say, "I need a copy of this file as it comes from the bank - DO NOT EDIT IT" and she'll shake her head as if to indicate understanding. The user will then: 1: Download the bank file. 2: Open the comma delimited file in Notepad. 3: Do a find/replace on a few broken values. 4: Save the file. 5: Open it in Excel and change the column order. 6: Delete several rows that are 'gibberish'. 7: Add a few rows that have to be there for it to work properly. 8: Export the file as tab delimited. 9: Attach it to an email with the following message in the body: "This is the file I received from the bank". I had a developer in my office this morning pulling her hair out over this issue because after 6 months of development we are only now getting the actual bank file. Of course, the new file is easy enough to import but the changes the user was making masked a few problem areas that need to now be addressed. The people who know the least about a process are your users. You'd do better to ask a random stranger. I know my boss has always been critical of my methods but when I go to create a system I usually don't even look at the system I'm replacing or any of it's documentation because that confusing nest of lies will only add 50% to the development time. The reality is that user authored documentation is at best a wild guess and most likely intentional corporate sabotage authored by a demon possessed sadists.

                            S Offline
                            S Offline
                            Shelby Robertson
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            MehGerbil wrote:

                            Users Are Evil Stupid

                            FTFY

                            CPallini wrote:

                            You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:

                            T 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L Lost User

                              I'm not understanding your comment. This is a case where the user is claiming to have not edited a file after doing extensive editing. We certainly don't have back up issues.

                              D Offline
                              D Offline
                              Dan Neely
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              MehGerbil wrote:

                              This is a case where the user is claiming to have not edited a file after doing extensive editing.
                              We certainly don't have back up issues.

                              Really?! It certainly sounds like the user is a backup problem; it's denial was nothing but sewage after all.

                              Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • S Shelby Robertson

                                MehGerbil wrote:

                                Users Are Evil Stupid

                                FTFY

                                CPallini wrote:

                                You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:

                                T Offline
                                T Offline
                                TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                and that's different how?

                                If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                                You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                                Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                                S 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

                                  and that's different how?

                                  If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                                  You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                                  Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                                  S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  Shelby Robertson
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #17

                                  I would suppose it is a difference of intent.

                                  CPallini wrote:

                                  You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:

                                  T 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • S Shelby Robertson

                                    I would suppose it is a difference of intent.

                                    CPallini wrote:

                                    You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:

                                    T Offline
                                    T Offline
                                    TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #18

                                    well ok. I guess that follows the axiom, "don't attribute to malevolence what can more easily be attributed to stupidity"

                                    If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                                    You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                                    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                                    S 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

                                      well ok. I guess that follows the axiom, "don't attribute to malevolence what can more easily be attributed to stupidity"

                                      If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                                      You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                                      Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                                      S Offline
                                      S Offline
                                      Shelby Robertson
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #19

                                      ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                      "don't attribute to malevolence what can more easily be attributed to stupidity"

                                      That's what I was going for there. In practice, you want to slam their head in a car door either way.

                                      CPallini wrote:

                                      You cannot argue with agile people so just take the extreme approach and shoot him. :Smile:

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • L Lost User

                                        You can literally sit in a meeting with a user, look her in the eye and say, "I need a copy of this file as it comes from the bank - DO NOT EDIT IT" and she'll shake her head as if to indicate understanding. The user will then: 1: Download the bank file. 2: Open the comma delimited file in Notepad. 3: Do a find/replace on a few broken values. 4: Save the file. 5: Open it in Excel and change the column order. 6: Delete several rows that are 'gibberish'. 7: Add a few rows that have to be there for it to work properly. 8: Export the file as tab delimited. 9: Attach it to an email with the following message in the body: "This is the file I received from the bank". I had a developer in my office this morning pulling her hair out over this issue because after 6 months of development we are only now getting the actual bank file. Of course, the new file is easy enough to import but the changes the user was making masked a few problem areas that need to now be addressed. The people who know the least about a process are your users. You'd do better to ask a random stranger. I know my boss has always been critical of my methods but when I go to create a system I usually don't even look at the system I'm replacing or any of it's documentation because that confusing nest of lies will only add 50% to the development time. The reality is that user authored documentation is at best a wild guess and most likely intentional corporate sabotage authored by a demon possessed sadists.

                                        I Offline
                                        I Offline
                                        ii_noname_ii
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #20

                                        There's something wrong with your process, if you rely on: -1. A user manual upload into a specified format you expect. -2. The format may change in time, that bank file. -3. version of office/excel will change, and so will the format. You need to bypass the middle-man user, get the data from the source, xml, rss,... Automate step 7. If the user CAN make a mistake, he WILL make a mistake.

                                        L 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • L Lost User

                                          You can literally sit in a meeting with a user, look her in the eye and say, "I need a copy of this file as it comes from the bank - DO NOT EDIT IT" and she'll shake her head as if to indicate understanding. The user will then: 1: Download the bank file. 2: Open the comma delimited file in Notepad. 3: Do a find/replace on a few broken values. 4: Save the file. 5: Open it in Excel and change the column order. 6: Delete several rows that are 'gibberish'. 7: Add a few rows that have to be there for it to work properly. 8: Export the file as tab delimited. 9: Attach it to an email with the following message in the body: "This is the file I received from the bank". I had a developer in my office this morning pulling her hair out over this issue because after 6 months of development we are only now getting the actual bank file. Of course, the new file is easy enough to import but the changes the user was making masked a few problem areas that need to now be addressed. The people who know the least about a process are your users. You'd do better to ask a random stranger. I know my boss has always been critical of my methods but when I go to create a system I usually don't even look at the system I'm replacing or any of it's documentation because that confusing nest of lies will only add 50% to the development time. The reality is that user authored documentation is at best a wild guess and most likely intentional corporate sabotage authored by a demon possessed sadists.

                                          M Offline
                                          M Offline
                                          Michael T Bee ITProf Sempris
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #21

                                          I'd sit with the user diagramming what they do(if you can't then screen record it). That way -- you make sure they attach the file directly from the point it was generated. -Rule #1: Trust no one.

                                          M 1 Reply Last reply
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