Can't get there from here
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Chocolate widget humdinger bat table chicken.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me me, in pictures
That's easy for you to say.
BDF The internet makes dumb people dumber and clever people cleverer. -- PaulowniaK
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Chocolate widget humdinger bat table chicken.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me me, in pictures
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I should have stopped at dg ... starting from the other end, e. But would probably have missed a few things. Better luck next time.
What the fuck are you talking about?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me me, in pictures
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Seems there was a new "For Sale" sign up on a big spread of land just outside of Lubbock and as it happened a New Englander from Vermont with a rich accent was driving past it in his '43 Chevrolet pickup when he decided to stop, perhaps taken in by the looks of things; with the derricks and the gas pipes and the cattle and the armadilloes and all. Says to himself "I'll have a talk with the owner. Now which one of these roads do you suppose'll take me to the sign's poster?". So he picks one, being the enterprising sort whose origin hails from much backwood and overly slopey landscapes. Leaving the fork behind, he drives into what appears to be a driveway, past an RFD box, and he begins scanning the horizon for any sign of a house .. and after about five minutes of kicking up a roostertail of beige dust he thinks he spies one. "Now tha's nice, reminds me o' Patterson. Think I read somewhere in Menckin these Texans have fine taste in houses 'eyah; three storeh Victorian." and he continues driving on in. More roostertail, more gettin' where he's goin'. Five more minutes, he pulls up into a gravel section and with the loud crushing report of his beige tires on the traprock in the turnaround, he stops and slides the column shifter into neutral, takes his foot off the brake pedal, turns the ignition off, and sits there having himself a listen. Then he cracks open the door to the ancient pickup, climbs down off the running board, gathers his wits, looks around, runs his eye up and down the stories; "Eyah, nice, new paint ... ", and with a push from his left hand against his left spine, straightens himself up. Walking parallel to a brand new porch on which sits several new wooden lounge chairs, a swing hanging from under the porch roof, he takes a few steps and after a couple more steps, just past where the stone abutts the green expanse of lawn through which the gravel "U" cozies on up to the porch, he spies a big old red barn, previously occluded from view. "Look at that thae barn! That's gotta be at least three stories!" Just as he finished this last thought a man dressed in a business suit wearing a cowboy hat walks through the front door onto the porch and in a bright spirited Texas drawl asks "Kin Ay healp you mister?". To which the New Englander replies "Eyah' ya' ken help me. I saw the land fe' sale sign ... ot front ... 'an took ta wonder'in what you were ask'in for as a sale price?". The Texan gave a look at the the man and he took a hear of the accent of the speaker and he did a little 30 degree turn of his t
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Seems there was a new "For Sale" sign up on a big spread of land just outside of Lubbock and as it happened a New Englander from Vermont with a rich accent was driving past it in his '43 Chevrolet pickup when he decided to stop, perhaps taken in by the looks of things; with the derricks and the gas pipes and the cattle and the armadilloes and all. Says to himself "I'll have a talk with the owner. Now which one of these roads do you suppose'll take me to the sign's poster?". So he picks one, being the enterprising sort whose origin hails from much backwood and overly slopey landscapes. Leaving the fork behind, he drives into what appears to be a driveway, past an RFD box, and he begins scanning the horizon for any sign of a house .. and after about five minutes of kicking up a roostertail of beige dust he thinks he spies one. "Now tha's nice, reminds me o' Patterson. Think I read somewhere in Menckin these Texans have fine taste in houses 'eyah; three storeh Victorian." and he continues driving on in. More roostertail, more gettin' where he's goin'. Five more minutes, he pulls up into a gravel section and with the loud crushing report of his beige tires on the traprock in the turnaround, he stops and slides the column shifter into neutral, takes his foot off the brake pedal, turns the ignition off, and sits there having himself a listen. Then he cracks open the door to the ancient pickup, climbs down off the running board, gathers his wits, looks around, runs his eye up and down the stories; "Eyah, nice, new paint ... ", and with a push from his left hand against his left spine, straightens himself up. Walking parallel to a brand new porch on which sits several new wooden lounge chairs, a swing hanging from under the porch roof, he takes a few steps and after a couple more steps, just past where the stone abutts the green expanse of lawn through which the gravel "U" cozies on up to the porch, he spies a big old red barn, previously occluded from view. "Look at that thae barn! That's gotta be at least three stories!" Just as he finished this last thought a man dressed in a business suit wearing a cowboy hat walks through the front door onto the porch and in a bright spirited Texas drawl asks "Kin Ay healp you mister?". To which the New Englander replies "Eyah' ya' ken help me. I saw the land fe' sale sign ... ot front ... 'an took ta wonder'in what you were ask'in for as a sale price?". The Texan gave a look at the the man and he took a hear of the accent of the speaker and he did a little 30 degree turn of his t
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Quote:
Can't get there from here
Do you mean to the bottom of your story from the top? Sorry, too much for my impatience to handle. :)
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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I can only assume that this makes some sort of sense if you're a Texan or a New Englander. Sure as hell makes none to this old limey. :wtf:
Use the best guess
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What the fuck are you talking about?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me me, in pictures
I think we've all been wondering that for the past two hours or so.
BDF The internet makes dumb people dumber and clever people cleverer. -- PaulowniaK
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I can only assume that this makes some sort of sense if you're a Texan or a New Englander. Sure as hell makes none to this old limey. :wtf:
Use the best guess
I'm neither a Texan nor a New Englander but I don't think it makes sense to them or anyone else. Seems like it was supposed to be a long-winded joke but he forgot to include the punch line.
BDF The internet makes dumb people dumber and clever people cleverer. -- PaulowniaK
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I'm neither a Texan nor a New Englander but I don't think it makes sense to them or anyone else. Seems like it was supposed to be a long-winded joke but he forgot to include the punch line.
BDF The internet makes dumb people dumber and clever people cleverer. -- PaulowniaK
Well, then I guess you deserve an explanation having spent two hours of your time waiting for one. But it's not that easy to tell a joke much less write it down as it's being recalled. Consider the legend of William Tell. Not the part where the guy splits the apple off the top of of his son's head. But what Willi admits to Geisler when he parts the buttons a tad on his frock revealing the location of the second arrow. There are a lot of spectators about ... waiting to see what Geisler's bound to do. Just saying.
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Well, then I guess you deserve an explanation having spent two hours of your time waiting for one. But it's not that easy to tell a joke much less write it down as it's being recalled. Consider the legend of William Tell. Not the part where the guy splits the apple off the top of of his son's head. But what Willi admits to Geisler when he parts the buttons a tad on his frock revealing the location of the second arrow. There are a lot of spectators about ... waiting to see what Geisler's bound to do. Just saying.
Thank you, Red.
BDF The internet makes dumb people dumber and clever people cleverer. -- PaulowniaK
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Thank you, Red.
BDF The internet makes dumb people dumber and clever people cleverer. -- PaulowniaK
A variation on the joke, shortened goes like this: Guy puts an add in the paper for an amplifier he's trying to sell. "Best offer excepted". Reader sees add, gives seller a call, makes appointment to come out and see it. Buyer gets there, impressed by the acreage of the range. They get to wrangling. But before that the buyer asks the landowner in self deprecating sort of way "So, got a lot a land here I'd say". Owner goes " Oh hell yeah. I've got so much land here that when I hop in my pickup at sunrise and start driving across what I own, it takes me until sunset to get to the other end of it." Buyer looks around once more, scratches his head a bit, then says: "Yup, I had a pickup like that once"
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I can only assume that this makes some sort of sense if you're a Texan or a New Englander. Sure as hell makes none to this old limey. :wtf:
Use the best guess
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Richard MacCutchan wrote:
this makes some sort of sense if you're a Texan or a New Englander
Nope. It does not make any sense even then.
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A variation on the joke, shortened goes like this: Guy puts an add in the paper for an amplifier he's trying to sell. "Best offer excepted". Reader sees add, gives seller a call, makes appointment to come out and see it. Buyer gets there, impressed by the acreage of the range. They get to wrangling. But before that the buyer asks the landowner in self deprecating sort of way "So, got a lot a land here I'd say". Owner goes " Oh hell yeah. I've got so much land here that when I hop in my pickup at sunrise and start driving across what I own, it takes me until sunset to get to the other end of it." Buyer looks around once more, scratches his head a bit, then says: "Yup, I had a pickup like that once"
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Ah yes Fleece, But consider from where the benediction's set to come. Then there's beauty in it.
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Seems there was a new "For Sale" sign up on a big spread of land just outside of Lubbock and as it happened a New Englander from Vermont with a rich accent was driving past it in his '43 Chevrolet pickup when he decided to stop, perhaps taken in by the looks of things; with the derricks and the gas pipes and the cattle and the armadilloes and all. Says to himself "I'll have a talk with the owner. Now which one of these roads do you suppose'll take me to the sign's poster?". So he picks one, being the enterprising sort whose origin hails from much backwood and overly slopey landscapes. Leaving the fork behind, he drives into what appears to be a driveway, past an RFD box, and he begins scanning the horizon for any sign of a house .. and after about five minutes of kicking up a roostertail of beige dust he thinks he spies one. "Now tha's nice, reminds me o' Patterson. Think I read somewhere in Menckin these Texans have fine taste in houses 'eyah; three storeh Victorian." and he continues driving on in. More roostertail, more gettin' where he's goin'. Five more minutes, he pulls up into a gravel section and with the loud crushing report of his beige tires on the traprock in the turnaround, he stops and slides the column shifter into neutral, takes his foot off the brake pedal, turns the ignition off, and sits there having himself a listen. Then he cracks open the door to the ancient pickup, climbs down off the running board, gathers his wits, looks around, runs his eye up and down the stories; "Eyah, nice, new paint ... ", and with a push from his left hand against his left spine, straightens himself up. Walking parallel to a brand new porch on which sits several new wooden lounge chairs, a swing hanging from under the porch roof, he takes a few steps and after a couple more steps, just past where the stone abutts the green expanse of lawn through which the gravel "U" cozies on up to the porch, he spies a big old red barn, previously occluded from view. "Look at that thae barn! That's gotta be at least three stories!" Just as he finished this last thought a man dressed in a business suit wearing a cowboy hat walks through the front door onto the porch and in a bright spirited Texas drawl asks "Kin Ay healp you mister?". To which the New Englander replies "Eyah' ya' ken help me. I saw the land fe' sale sign ... ot front ... 'an took ta wonder'in what you were ask'in for as a sale price?". The Texan gave a look at the the man and he took a hear of the accent of the speaker and he did a little 30 degree turn of his t