Why you get nightmares of COBOL
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Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions. Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it. Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life. He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that. The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie. Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he asked. "Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over and done with?" The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact anyone else on the planet. "That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?" "Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL". (So, please remind me, that I will never be frozen for the future, as I learned Cobol, too.)
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
LOL! On the serious side, we are doing some refactoring of very old COBOL code (say 40 years, all on mainframe and now migrating to .NET). When I started here in 1991 I used COBOL to print graphics on a plotter. Good old times...
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COBOL? In the Lounge? Do you really want your kid sister read about COBOL???
:thumbsup: I agree. Nightmares for old IT-Experts are not suitable for little sister. Except they are Little Sisters, but I think Bioshock isn't programmed in Cobol. Am I speaking pell-mell? Ah! All those Cobol... :wtf:
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
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LOL! On the serious side, we are doing some refactoring of very old COBOL code (say 40 years, all on mainframe and now migrating to .NET). When I started here in 1991 I used COBOL to print graphics on a plotter. Good old times...
The signature is in building process.. Please wait...
Dang, I had forgotten about plotters. Vectors. Points. Pens...
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LOL! On the serious side, we are doing some refactoring of very old COBOL code (say 40 years, all on mainframe and now migrating to .NET). When I started here in 1991 I used COBOL to print graphics on a plotter. Good old times...
The signature is in building process.. Please wait...
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There is one team who uses that product actually. Other teams are using JAVA tools. My group is .NET, and maintance of legacy VBA and VB6. Another group is migrating CICS mainframe to .NET in a completely new application.
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Dang, I had forgotten about plotters. Vectors. Points. Pens...
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Oh, yes. I tried an object orientated Cobol once. They called it: Add 2 to Cobol :-\
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
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There is one team who uses that product actually. Other teams are using JAVA tools. My group is .NET, and maintance of legacy VBA and VB6. Another group is migrating CICS mainframe to .NET in a completely new application.
The signature is in building process.. Please wait...
I cut my professional programming teeth on COBOL and CICS at Norwich Union back in 1990. The memory was buried like some deep trauma in the recesses of my mind, which I have now remembered :(( I feel sorry for anyone still using COBOL.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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COBOL? In the Lounge? Do you really want your kid sister read about COBOL???
Jarek Kruza wrote:
Do you really want your kid sister read about COBOL???
She (my cousin actually as I'm the only child here ;P) has learnt COBOL from my misplaced books.
Beauty cannot be defined by abscissas and ordinates; neither are circles and ellipses created by their geometrical formulas.
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Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions. Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it. Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life. He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that. The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie. Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he asked. "Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over and done with?" The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact anyone else on the planet. "That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?" "Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL". (So, please remind me, that I will never be frozen for the future, as I learned Cobol, too.)
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Thats just awesome! I remember year 2000 turn programming horrors so vividly, not that we had much leftovers that could have broken, but everyone who were not programmers were so afraid the world will turn upside down and their wristwatches will explode if theyre wearing them when year changes... I bet for COBOL programmers it was thousand times more horror.
