How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change Light Bulb?
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1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there..... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
speramus in juniperus
You are casting nasturtiums against poodles. The Standard Poodle is a hound, a hunter if you like. They are very close to greyhounds and are fast, very fast. They are also very clever. The long curly hair was bred in so that they didn't hurt themselves whilst running through the black forest (yes, they are German, not French, think of the name and say it with a kraut accent). Of course what people don't know is what their quarry was. They were bred to hunt Lions. Not many dogs would chase down and kill lions, but poodles did! Now I know what you are thinking, "There are no lions in the Black Forest" and that just goes to show what a good job the poodles did! Why were there lions in the Black Forest? Simples. The Romans were crap at fighting in forests, especially ones they were unfamiliar with, so they threw in the lions to scare the Frankish Hoards into surrendering. Ze Frankinsh Hoards vere wery efficient unt engineered ze perfkt hund fur zie job!
--------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there..... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
speramus in juniperus
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You are casting nasturtiums against poodles. The Standard Poodle is a hound, a hunter if you like. They are very close to greyhounds and are fast, very fast. They are also very clever. The long curly hair was bred in so that they didn't hurt themselves whilst running through the black forest (yes, they are German, not French, think of the name and say it with a kraut accent). Of course what people don't know is what their quarry was. They were bred to hunt Lions. Not many dogs would chase down and kill lions, but poodles did! Now I know what you are thinking, "There are no lions in the Black Forest" and that just goes to show what a good job the poodles did! Why were there lions in the Black Forest? Simples. The Romans were crap at fighting in forests, especially ones they were unfamiliar with, so they threw in the lions to scare the Frankish Hoards into surrendering. Ze Frankinsh Hoards vere wery efficient unt engineered ze perfkt hund fur zie job!
--------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
well that blew that poodle joke :doh:
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON
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1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there..... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
speramus in juniperus
Beagle: Love to help you mate [cough, splutter] but [wheeze] my old lungs ain't what they [cough] used to be...
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You are casting nasturtiums against poodles. The Standard Poodle is a hound, a hunter if you like. They are very close to greyhounds and are fast, very fast. They are also very clever. The long curly hair was bred in so that they didn't hurt themselves whilst running through the black forest (yes, they are German, not French, think of the name and say it with a kraut accent). Of course what people don't know is what their quarry was. They were bred to hunt Lions. Not many dogs would chase down and kill lions, but poodles did! Now I know what you are thinking, "There are no lions in the Black Forest" and that just goes to show what a good job the poodles did! Why were there lions in the Black Forest? Simples. The Romans were crap at fighting in forests, especially ones they were unfamiliar with, so they threw in the lions to scare the Frankish Hoards into surrendering. Ze Frankinsh Hoards vere wery efficient unt engineered ze perfkt hund fur zie job!
--------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
Funnily enough, a quick bingle shows no mention of lions but instead that poodles are good at hunting the ferocious TRUFFLE! ;P
speramus in juniperus
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1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there..... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
speramus in juniperus
Shitzu: I will growl at it until it changes itself!
Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.
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1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there..... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
speramus in juniperus
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You are casting nasturtiums against poodles. The Standard Poodle is a hound, a hunter if you like. They are very close to greyhounds and are fast, very fast. They are also very clever. The long curly hair was bred in so that they didn't hurt themselves whilst running through the black forest (yes, they are German, not French, think of the name and say it with a kraut accent). Of course what people don't know is what their quarry was. They were bred to hunt Lions. Not many dogs would chase down and kill lions, but poodles did! Now I know what you are thinking, "There are no lions in the Black Forest" and that just goes to show what a good job the poodles did! Why were there lions in the Black Forest? Simples. The Romans were crap at fighting in forests, especially ones they were unfamiliar with, so they threw in the lions to scare the Frankish Hoards into surrendering. Ze Frankinsh Hoards vere wery efficient unt engineered ze perfkt hund fur zie job!
--------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
So, by that reasoning... Since Daleks were made to exterminate and poodles exterminated the Black Forest lions, does that make you Poodle Dave?
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So, by that reasoning... Since Daleks were made to exterminate and poodles exterminated the Black Forest lions, does that make you Poodle Dave?
I thought it made him Dalek Lightbulb? :~
PB 369,783 wrote:
I just find him very unlikeable, and I think the way he looks like a prettier version of his Mum is very disturbing.[^]
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You are casting nasturtiums against poodles. The Standard Poodle is a hound, a hunter if you like. They are very close to greyhounds and are fast, very fast. They are also very clever. The long curly hair was bred in so that they didn't hurt themselves whilst running through the black forest (yes, they are German, not French, think of the name and say it with a kraut accent). Of course what people don't know is what their quarry was. They were bred to hunt Lions. Not many dogs would chase down and kill lions, but poodles did! Now I know what you are thinking, "There are no lions in the Black Forest" and that just goes to show what a good job the poodles did! Why were there lions in the Black Forest? Simples. The Romans were crap at fighting in forests, especially ones they were unfamiliar with, so they threw in the lions to scare the Frankish Hoards into surrendering. Ze Frankinsh Hoards vere wery efficient unt engineered ze perfkt hund fur zie job!
--------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
Quote:
The long curly hair was bred in so that they didn't hurt themselves whilst running through the black forest (yes, they are German, not French, think of the name and say it with a kraut accent).
Damn you! not matter how much I try it always comes out with a bad French accent
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON
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1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there..... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
speramus in juniperus
If you think dogs can change lightbulbs, you're barking.
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1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there..... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
speramus in juniperus
16. Attack Chihuahua: Bite me.
Christopher Duncan Author of Unite the Tribes: Leadership Skills for Technology Managers (2nd ed, just released) Have Fun, Get Paid: How to Make a Living With Your Creativity (Due Nov 2013) The Career Programmer: Guerilla Tactics for an Imperfect World
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Quote:
The long curly hair was bred in so that they didn't hurt themselves whilst running through the black forest (yes, they are German, not French, think of the name and say it with a kraut accent).
Damn you! not matter how much I try it always comes out with a bad French accent
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colon."
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You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colon."
Thank you. But I still can't replicate the stern German accent so it still comes out as bad French Accent.
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON
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1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there..... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
speramus in juniperus
16. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel(*): Changing your own light bulb, bitches. (*) My mother spent my inheritence on one of these.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
You are casting nasturtiums against poodles. The Standard Poodle is a hound, a hunter if you like. They are very close to greyhounds and are fast, very fast. They are also very clever. The long curly hair was bred in so that they didn't hurt themselves whilst running through the black forest (yes, they are German, not French, think of the name and say it with a kraut accent). Of course what people don't know is what their quarry was. They were bred to hunt Lions. Not many dogs would chase down and kill lions, but poodles did! Now I know what you are thinking, "There are no lions in the Black Forest" and that just goes to show what a good job the poodles did! Why were there lions in the Black Forest? Simples. The Romans were crap at fighting in forests, especially ones they were unfamiliar with, so they threw in the lions to scare the Frankish Hoards into surrendering. Ze Frankinsh Hoards vere wery efficient unt engineered ze perfkt hund fur zie job!
--------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
Quote:
bred to hunt Lions
Our late Poodle, officially "Skippius Maximus", or "Skippy" for short, had a thing for a stuffed toy lion and would drag it around and attack it on a regular basis - completely ignoring all other stuffed toys. Now I understand. He was, otherwise, very intelligent. Also, because of his curly hair he did not shed all over the place (unlike our Irish Setter) and didn't stink when wet (also unlike our Irish Setter). Poodles are cool.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there..... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
speramus in juniperus
Irish Wolfhound: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ... Huh? Oh, there is a burned out lig...ht.... bulb.... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
Keep Clam And Proofread -- √(-1) 23 ∑ π... And it was delicious.