Don't think this is a repost...
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... Three married couples, aged 20, 30, and 40 years old, want to join the Orthodox Church of Sexual Repression. Near the end of the interview, the priest informs them that before they can be accepted they will have to pass one small test. They will have to abstain from all sex for a month. They all agree to try. A month later they are having their final interview with the cleric. He asks the 40 year old couple how they did. "Well, it wasn't too hard. I spent a lot of time in the workshop and she has a garden so we had plenty of other things to do. We did OK." the husband said. "Very good, my children. You are welcome in the Church. And how well did you manage?", he asked the 30 year old couple. "It was pretty difficult", the husband answered. "We thought about it all the time. We had to sleep in different beds and we prayed a lot. But we were celibate for the entire month." "Very good, my children. You are welcome in the Church. And how about you?" he asked the 20 year old couple. "Not too good, I'm afraid, Father. We did OK for the first week.", he said sheepishly. "By the second week we were going crazy with lust. Then one day during the third week my wife dropped a head of lettuce, and when she bent over to pick it up, I... I weakened and took her right there." "I'm sorry my son, you are not welcome in the Church" "Yeah, and we're not too welcome in the Supermarket anymore, either."
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time -
... Three married couples, aged 20, 30, and 40 years old, want to join the Orthodox Church of Sexual Repression. Near the end of the interview, the priest informs them that before they can be accepted they will have to pass one small test. They will have to abstain from all sex for a month. They all agree to try. A month later they are having their final interview with the cleric. He asks the 40 year old couple how they did. "Well, it wasn't too hard. I spent a lot of time in the workshop and she has a garden so we had plenty of other things to do. We did OK." the husband said. "Very good, my children. You are welcome in the Church. And how well did you manage?", he asked the 30 year old couple. "It was pretty difficult", the husband answered. "We thought about it all the time. We had to sleep in different beds and we prayed a lot. But we were celibate for the entire month." "Very good, my children. You are welcome in the Church. And how about you?" he asked the 20 year old couple. "Not too good, I'm afraid, Father. We did OK for the first week.", he said sheepishly. "By the second week we were going crazy with lust. Then one day during the third week my wife dropped a head of lettuce, and when she bent over to pick it up, I... I weakened and took her right there." "I'm sorry my son, you are not welcome in the Church" "Yeah, and we're not too welcome in the Supermarket anymore, either."
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the timeYeah, that's not something my local supermarket manager likes either, because if everybody is dropping the lettuce on the floor, they won't be able to sell lettuce anymore. So thats probably the reason for them not being welcome.
I won’t not use no double negatives.