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  3. How many restarts does it take to get a Windows Update to work properly

How many restarts does it take to get a Windows Update to work properly

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  • L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Trick question. Windows will never work properly.

    Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

    C C A T M 10 Replies Last reply
    0
    • L Lost User

      Trick question. Windows will never work properly.

      Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

      C Offline
      C Offline
      CPallini
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Collin Jasnoch wrote:

      Windows will never work properly.

      However, by this very principle Windows Updates always work properly. So, sorry it was more trickier than you realized.

      Veni, vidi, vici.

      L R 3 Replies Last reply
      0
      • C CPallini

        Collin Jasnoch wrote:

        Windows will never work properly.

        However, by this very principle Windows Updates always work properly. So, sorry it was more trickier than you realized.

        Veni, vidi, vici.

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Touché. It seems MS is quite successful in failing.

        Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

        P C 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • L Lost User

          Touché. It seems MS is quite successful in failing.

          Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

          P Offline
          P Offline
          PIEBALDconsult
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Colleague: It failed; why does it say it succeeded? Me: It successfully reported that it failed.

          This space intentionally left blank.

          J 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • L Lost User

            Trick question. Windows will never work properly.

            Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

            C Offline
            C Offline
            cigwork
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            As any cyclist will tell you; n+1

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • L Lost User

              Trick question. Windows will never work properly.

              Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

              A Offline
              A Offline
              Albert Holguin
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              I hate that my Weven computer wants to constantly restart to do updates... somehow I end up having to restart it like five times in a row before it's done updating at any one time. X|

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • L Lost User

                Touché. It seems MS is quite successful in failing.

                Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

                C Offline
                C Offline
                CPallini
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Collin Jasnoch wrote:

                It seems MS is quite successful in failing.

                :-D

                Veni, vidi, vici.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • C CPallini

                  Collin Jasnoch wrote:

                  Windows will never work properly.

                  However, by this very principle Windows Updates always work properly. So, sorry it was more trickier than you realized.

                  Veni, vidi, vici.

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rutvik Dave
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  :laugh:

                  Remind Me This - Manage, Collaborate and Execute your Project in the Cloud

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • P PIEBALDconsult

                    Colleague: It failed; why does it say it succeeded? Me: It successfully reported that it failed.

                    This space intentionally left blank.

                    J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jeron1
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Sounds like ERROR_SUCCESS.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • L Lost User

                      Trick question. Windows will never work properly.

                      Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

                      T Offline
                      T Offline
                      TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      It's always just one for me. I guess it must be your red hair. ;P

                      If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                      You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                      Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                      Z L 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

                        It's always just one for me. I guess it must be your red hair. ;P

                        If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                        You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                        Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                        Z Offline
                        Z Offline
                        ZurdoDev
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Save the personal attacks for the soapbox. ;)

                        There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

                        T 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

                          It's always just one for me. I guess it must be your red hair. ;P

                          If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                          You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                          Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          I believe I have restarted my system at least a dozen times today (not all due to Windows Updates). IT Help Desk being the experts they are had no idea how to resolve an issue I was having and resorted to brute force re-imaging. Numerous restarts to correct policy issues but the windows ones set me off. I got my friendly "Windows has updates". Sure why not. Yesterday my colleague was having some wonky issues with a Web site deployment on a Windows Server 2008. After he flailed for a few hours he decided to let the system update. Even before finishing the hours worth of updates the system was corrected. I did not need to deal with that. So I figured off the bat get it up to par. "Need to restart to continue" Ok. Restart and continues. Windows is now done updating and needs to restart. ... O... K. Windows has updates that need to run :| Fine run them. Widows needs to restart :| Windows needs to restart :wtf: :mad:

                          Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

                          T 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • L Lost User

                            I believe I have restarted my system at least a dozen times today (not all due to Windows Updates). IT Help Desk being the experts they are had no idea how to resolve an issue I was having and resorted to brute force re-imaging. Numerous restarts to correct policy issues but the windows ones set me off. I got my friendly "Windows has updates". Sure why not. Yesterday my colleague was having some wonky issues with a Web site deployment on a Windows Server 2008. After he flailed for a few hours he decided to let the system update. Even before finishing the hours worth of updates the system was corrected. I did not need to deal with that. So I figured off the bat get it up to par. "Need to restart to continue" Ok. Restart and continues. Windows is now done updating and needs to restart. ... O... K. Windows has updates that need to run :| Fine run them. Widows needs to restart :| Windows needs to restart :wtf: :mad:

                            Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

                            T Offline
                            T Offline
                            TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Collin Jasnoch wrote:

                            policy issues

                            I bet it's due to third-party software. I work for a company that provides configuration management software for Windows systems part of which is patch management and policy enforcement. Oftentimes that is what is causing the rebooting issues, not Windows directly. Sometimes when the software updates itself, it needs to reboot two or three times, especially when drivers are updated. I've worked to reduce it to 0 or 1 times.

                            Collin Jasnoch wrote:

                            Windows has updates...Widows needs to restart

                            ad nauseum Sometimes when updating a "legacy" OS like WinXP where there are hundreds of updates, some of which are mutually exclusive (meaning they can't be combined with other updates in the same "update session"), what you describe can occur. What your IT dept needs to provide is a windows image with all of these updates already done. "Sysprep[^]" can be your friend.

                            If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                            You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                            Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                            L P 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

                              Collin Jasnoch wrote:

                              policy issues

                              I bet it's due to third-party software. I work for a company that provides configuration management software for Windows systems part of which is patch management and policy enforcement. Oftentimes that is what is causing the rebooting issues, not Windows directly. Sometimes when the software updates itself, it needs to reboot two or three times, especially when drivers are updated. I've worked to reduce it to 0 or 1 times.

                              Collin Jasnoch wrote:

                              Windows has updates...Widows needs to restart

                              ad nauseum Sometimes when updating a "legacy" OS like WinXP where there are hundreds of updates, some of which are mutually exclusive (meaning they can't be combined with other updates in the same "update session"), what you describe can occur. What your IT dept needs to provide is a windows image with all of these updates already done. "Sysprep[^]" can be your friend.

                              If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                              You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                              Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              ahmed zahmed wrote:

                              I bet it's due to third-party software.

                              Yes the policy restarts. But there was definately a Windows one in there that restarted and then right after boot prompted me to restart again. It did not seem to process anything upon boot but I would guess it did and then needed to reboot to register what it did.

                              ahmed zahmed wrote:

                              Sometimes when updating a "legacy" OS like WinXP

                              I do at least have the privilege of using Win7 here (although not everyone round here is on Win7 :~)

                              ahmed zahmed wrote:

                              What your IT dept needs to provide is a windows image with all of these updates already done.

                              A windows image is honestly the least of our IT problems... We have rings of fire for our IT work flow. I have theorized they made it so complex so we just revert back to pen and pad to ease their work load.

                              Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

                              T 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L Lost User

                                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                I bet it's due to third-party software.

                                Yes the policy restarts. But there was definately a Windows one in there that restarted and then right after boot prompted me to restart again. It did not seem to process anything upon boot but I would guess it did and then needed to reboot to register what it did.

                                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                Sometimes when updating a "legacy" OS like WinXP

                                I do at least have the privilege of using Win7 here (although not everyone round here is on Win7 :~)

                                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                What your IT dept needs to provide is a windows image with all of these updates already done.

                                A windows image is honestly the least of our IT problems... We have rings of fire for our IT work flow. I have theorized they made it so complex so we just revert back to pen and pad to ease their work load.

                                Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

                                T Offline
                                T Offline
                                TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                That's why I am my own IT dept. I don't even join the domain.

                                If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                                You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                                Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                                L H 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

                                  That's why I am my own IT dept. I don't even join the domain.

                                  If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                                  You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                                  Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  It would be impossible to do my job if I was not on the domain... Well not impossible but would require more systems and one of them would have to reside on the domain and then I would add a lot of manual steps to my workflow X| In general I am able to avoid IT, but its those days (that actually become weeks) that I have to deal with them that... well :mad: Some of our insanity is in fact for sane reasons. We have to deal with ITAR and EAR.

                                  Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

                                  T 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • L Lost User

                                    It would be impossible to do my job if I was not on the domain... Well not impossible but would require more systems and one of them would have to reside on the domain and then I would add a lot of manual steps to my workflow X| In general I am able to avoid IT, but its those days (that actually become weeks) that I have to deal with them that... well :mad: Some of our insanity is in fact for sane reasons. We have to deal with ITAR and EAR.

                                    Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

                                    T Offline
                                    T Offline
                                    TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    I feel your pain. :((

                                    If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                                    You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                                    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • Z ZurdoDev

                                      Save the personal attacks for the soapbox. ;)

                                      There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

                                      T Offline
                                      T Offline
                                      TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      :-D

                                      If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                                      You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                                      Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • C CPallini

                                        Collin Jasnoch wrote:

                                        Windows will never work properly.

                                        However, by this very principle Windows Updates always work properly. So, sorry it was more trickier than you realized.

                                        Veni, vidi, vici.

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Lost User
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        You have logically proved that we don't need Windows updates.

                                        Peter Wasser "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell

                                        J 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • L Lost User

                                          Trick question. Windows will never work properly.

                                          Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet. The interesting thing about software is it can not reproduce, until it can.

                                          M Offline
                                          M Offline
                                          Madhava Verma Dantuluri
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Well, this is the most impossible and answer-less question :)

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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