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MQOTD

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • J Johnny J

    He's playing it safe by combining all of our answers... No original ideas, you know... ;P [EDIT] Either that or no gin :doh: [/EDIT]

    Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Anonymous
    -----
    The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
    Winston Churchill, 1944
    -----
    I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
    Me, all the time

    S Offline
    S Offline
    Simon_Whale
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    If he's out of Gin I would consider that a national emergency!!

    Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • S Simon_Whale

      Johnny J: the Pope saga

      Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON

      J Offline
      J Offline
      Johnny J
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." and he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

      Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
      Anonymous
      -----
      The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
      Winston Churchill, 1944
      -----
      I'd just like a

      S 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

        Wassat? You rerunning "The Best of Johnny J." today? :laugh:

        Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

        N Offline
        N Offline
        Nagy Vilmos
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        I started with Two Mules, then found the other posts [refresh foo is week] and so added the rest. It was that or a week Carry On... reference or once more delving into Paris

        OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • J Johnny J

          Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." and he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

          Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
          Anonymous
          -----
          The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
          Winston Churchill, 1944
          -----
          I'd just like a

          S Offline
          S Offline
          Simon_Whale
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          I liked that one :thumbsup:

          Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON

          J 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • S Simon_Whale

            I liked that one :thumbsup:

            Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON

            J Offline
            J Offline
            Johnny J
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            Bet you've never seen me post a joke that wasn't dirty before, huh? :laugh:

            Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
            Anonymous
            -----
            The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
            Winston Churchill, 1944
            -----
            I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
            Me, all the time

            N S 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • N Nagy Vilmos

              I started with Two Mules, then found the other posts [refresh foo is week] and so added the rest. It was that or a week Carry On... reference or once more delving into Paris

              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriff
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              Nagy Vilmos wrote:

              once more delving into Paris

              There is an image I do not want in my mind... X|

              Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
              "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • V V 0

                Movie Quote Of The Day

                Yee-haw. I'm feeling very into sisters right now.

                Which movie?

                V.
                (MQOTD rules and previous solutions)

                OriginalGriff wrote:

                V is absolutely right

                K Offline
                K Offline
                Keith Barrow
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                Go on...

                PB 369,783 wrote:

                I just find him very unlikeable, and I think the way he looks like a prettier version of his Mum is very disturbing.[^]

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • J Johnny J

                  Bet you've never seen me post a joke that wasn't dirty before, huh? :laugh:

                  Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                  Anonymous
                  -----
                  The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                  Winston Churchill, 1944
                  -----
                  I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                  Me, all the time

                  N Offline
                  N Offline
                  Nagy Vilmos
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  Next you'll post one that's new...

                  J 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • N Nagy Vilmos

                    Next you'll post one that's new...

                    J Offline
                    J Offline
                    Johnny J
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    Nope, that's never gonna happen! :doh:

                    Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                    Anonymous
                    -----
                    The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                    Winston Churchill, 1944
                    -----
                    I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                    Me, all the time

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • J Johnny J

                      Two Mules For Sister Sara? :confused: Very good movie by the way, but all Shirley Maclaine does the whole movie is sit on her ass... ;)

                      Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                      Anonymous
                      -----
                      The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                      Winston Churchill, 1944
                      -----
                      I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                      Me, all the time

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Corporal Agarn
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      That is better than Francis[^]

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • J Johnny J

                        Bet you've never seen me post a joke that wasn't dirty before, huh? :laugh:

                        Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                        Anonymous
                        -----
                        The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                        Winston Churchill, 1944
                        -----
                        I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                        Me, all the time

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Simon_Whale
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        Is it only a once year occurrence, if so I can cope with that :laugh:

                        Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • S Simon_Whale

                          Johnny J: the Pope saga

                          Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON

                          M Offline
                          M Offline
                          Madhava Verma Dantuluri
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          Aha!

                          1 Reply Last reply
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