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great quotes from anonymous users

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  • P Paulo Augusto Kunzel

    It finally happened. I thought i was just a part of IT jokes but someone finally complained to me "The system doesn't work on the server is shut down". I think my internal system crashed because my mind went into a loop trying to find a way to handle this user complain without recurring to violence. Has anyone got a real situation like this?

    There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Colin Powell

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    Chris Quinn
    wrote on last edited by
    #6

    I've been asked to retrieve a list of records that are not in the database!

    ========================================================= I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka. =========================================================

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    • P Paulo Augusto Kunzel

      It finally happened. I thought i was just a part of IT jokes but someone finally complained to me "The system doesn't work on the server is shut down". I think my internal system crashed because my mind went into a loop trying to find a way to handle this user complain without recurring to violence. Has anyone got a real situation like this?

      There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Colin Powell

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      Keith Barrow
      wrote on last edited by
      #7

      Paulo Augusto Künzel wrote:

      Has anyone got a real situation like this?

      So common, IT has spawned counter-measure weaponry: LART[^]* Clue-By-Four[^] * I think this is an acronym for Luser[^] Attitude Readjustment Tool.

      PB 369,783 wrote:

      I just find him very unlikeable, and I think the way he looks like a prettier version of his Mum is very disturbing.[^]

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      • J Johnny J

        Well, here is the correct response[^]. You can jump straight to the last statement! ;)

        Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
        Anonymous
        -----
        The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
        Winston Churchill, 1944
        -----
        I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
        Me, all the time

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        Keith Barrow
        wrote on last edited by
        #8

        Snopes is wrong. This did happen, to me, though only after the joke. The joke had literally just done the rounds at the Social Services department I worked in at 2000. I'd spent 15 mins trying to diagnose the problem (it was at a relatively remote site[^] and we tried to help over the phone as much as possible) , so in desperation I asked the lass on the phone to plug in a desk-lamp: "I don't have one". "How about a fan" - she had one, but she said "I don't think it'll work", when I asked why: "we're in a power cut". At this point I assumed it was the only lass in our office playing a practical joke, as she often did, so I was going to deliver the punchline (which in the version I head described the user as too elephanting stupid to own a computer). At that point the presumed joker walked through the office, if she had been a second later I'd have lost my job. I asked the girl on the phone how she thought the PC would work in a power cut - at this point I think it dawned on her how stupid she been as she gave a rather weak "I thought I'd just make you aware" as a response and hung up. Thanks to the joke, no-one believes me (except the people who were in the room as the conversation happened), but there it is. [Edit] Having read the Snopes link fully, it says it is the last line of the joke that didn't happen. So I suppose it remains false, though it nearly happened.

        PB 369,783 wrote:

        I just find him very unlikeable, and I think the way he looks like a prettier version of his Mum is very disturbing.[^]

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        • P Paulo Augusto Kunzel

          It finally happened. I thought i was just a part of IT jokes but someone finally complained to me "The system doesn't work on the server is shut down". I think my internal system crashed because my mind went into a loop trying to find a way to handle this user complain without recurring to violence. Has anyone got a real situation like this?

          There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Colin Powell

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          Tim Carmichael
          wrote on last edited by
          #9

          This was sent to us yesterday from our manager. Meetings[^] SFW. Tim

          Richard DeemingR 1 Reply Last reply
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          • T Tim Carmichael

            This was sent to us yesterday from our manager. Meetings[^] SFW. Tim

            Richard DeemingR Offline
            Richard DeemingR Offline
            Richard Deeming
            wrote on last edited by
            #10

            Is your manager's name Leslie? :rolleyes: http://www.codeproject.com/Messages/4790709/Youre-The-Expert-Can-You-Or-Can-You-Not-Do-This.aspx[^] http://www.codeproject.com/Messages/4790969/Expert.aspx[^] Honourable mention[^], but no video link.


            "These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined." - Homer

            "These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined" - Homer

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            • Richard DeemingR Richard Deeming

              Is your manager's name Leslie? :rolleyes: http://www.codeproject.com/Messages/4790709/Youre-The-Expert-Can-You-Or-Can-You-Not-Do-This.aspx[^] http://www.codeproject.com/Messages/4790969/Expert.aspx[^] Honourable mention[^], but no video link.


              "These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined." - Homer

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              Keith Barrow
              wrote on last edited by
              #11

              I was looking for something appropriate for a double Leslie Neilsen such as this. I got this oddly titled youtube vid: double shot mould injection groupon london weather leslie nielsen [^] Nothing to do with him at all. Such Disappoint.

              PB 369,783 wrote:

              I just find him very unlikeable, and I think the way he looks like a prettier version of his Mum is very disturbing.[^]

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              • P Paulo Augusto Kunzel

                It finally happened. I thought i was just a part of IT jokes but someone finally complained to me "The system doesn't work on the server is shut down". I think my internal system crashed because my mind went into a loop trying to find a way to handle this user complain without recurring to violence. Has anyone got a real situation like this?

                There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Colin Powell

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                dandy72
                wrote on last edited by
                #12

                Paulo Augusto Künzel wrote:

                I thought i was just a part of IT jokes but someone finally complained to me "The system doesn't work on the server is shut down".

                There might be a few missing words in what you quoted, but it could be a valid complaint. How gracefully does your app handle the case where a server is no longer accessible? You can display a nice error message, or you can crash and burn and lose the user's work in progress.

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                • D dandy72

                  Paulo Augusto Künzel wrote:

                  I thought i was just a part of IT jokes but someone finally complained to me "The system doesn't work on the server is shut down".

                  There might be a few missing words in what you quoted, but it could be a valid complaint. How gracefully does your app handle the case where a server is no longer accessible? You can display a nice error message, or you can crash and burn and lose the user's work in progress.

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                  Paulo Augusto Kunzel
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #13

                  Hi, I wish it was not handled :sigh: , but it does say that it can't connect to the server. Actually it has been worked on to display the message in Portuguese. The problem here was that they were concerned about the energy bill.

                  There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Colin Powell

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                  • P Paulo Augusto Kunzel

                    Hi, I wish it was not handled :sigh: , but it does say that it can't connect to the server. Actually it has been worked on to display the message in Portuguese. The problem here was that they were concerned about the energy bill.

                    There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Colin Powell

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                    dandy72
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #14

                    So, somebody shut down a server to save power?? What sort of setup are they running? Introduce these people to virtualization. Here at home, I have 10+ virtual machines running 24/7 off of one consumer-grade computer that registers on my UPS at a mere 65W.

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                    • D dandy72

                      So, somebody shut down a server to save power?? What sort of setup are they running? Introduce these people to virtualization. Here at home, I have 10+ virtual machines running 24/7 off of one consumer-grade computer that registers on my UPS at a mere 65W.

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                      Paulo Augusto Kunzel
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #15

                      Hahaha.... Now you are getting a grasp of what I mean.. I could try that as an explanation, but having them using a server was already hard. I might wait a bit longer for that.

                      There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Colin Powell

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                      • P Paulo Augusto Kunzel

                        Hahaha.... Now you are getting a grasp of what I mean.. I could try that as an explanation, but having them using a server was already hard. I might wait a bit longer for that.

                        There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Colin Powell

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                        dandy72
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #16

                        It's a little mind-blowing that people expect total resilience in the software they use, but they're willing to do things that break a production environment to save a few bucks.

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                        • D dandy72

                          It's a little mind-blowing that people expect total resilience in the software they use, but they're willing to do things that break a production environment to save a few bucks.

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                          Paulo Augusto Kunzel
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #17

                          Why use the hammer if the forehead has been working sssoooo welwlewwweeellll! :wtf:

                          There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Colin Powell

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                          • C Chris Quinn

                            I've been asked to retrieve a list of records that are not in the database!

                            ========================================================= I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka. =========================================================

                            P Offline
                            P Offline
                            PIEBALDconsult
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #18

                            Some years back, either here or somewhere else I read a story about a company that wanted to add people to their database before they visited so they'd already have the data and not have to spend time getting the data when a new customer contacted them... :sigh: Sooo.... you want to add everyone in the world on the off chance that they might some day want to do business with you? :wtf:

                            You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.

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