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Couple.Divorce()

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  • C Chris Austin

    To me it is a lack of understanding the commitment, laziness, and a lack of clear expectations up front. Also, I think a lot of people today just don't want to argue with their spouse, which is very necessary in my opinion. Far too many people expect marriage to be easy and without challenge. They just think it will just work without daily effort to make one another happy or feel needed. I also think people tend to mary people who will not challenge them mentally on a constant basis. This was very important for me, I was never seriously attracted to a woman who wasn't smarter than me. The word abbreviation is awfully long for what it means.

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    Paul Watson
    wrote on last edited by
    #70

    Chris Austin wrote: This was very important for me, I was never seriously attracted to a woman who wasn't smarter than me. It does take a big man though to do that IMO. It is not an automatic and easy thing to do. It is easy to settle.

    Paul Watson
    Bluegrass
    Cape Town, South Africa

    Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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    • P Paul Watson

      BTW I think Jeremy made a typo and meant to say "attracted to a guy that they can't control." i.e. What you just said. Correct me if I am wrong Jeremy.

      Paul Watson
      Bluegrass
      Cape Town, South Africa

      Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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      Kevnar
      wrote on last edited by
      #71

      Well based on the context of his message I figure he was saying women aren't attracted to men they can control. They prefer a tough virile alpha-male. Someone to protect them and provide for them. I agree with him, inspite of feminist rhetoric.

      "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?" - Daniel Haley, The Onion

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      • J Jeremy Falcon

        Nope, I meant can. :) And, there is psychology behind it too. A woman's genetic coding stipulates that she is a caretaker. I'm sure you know by now that women don't like to make all the decisions, but they don't want to be controlled at the same time. Women are much better suited for things like endless patience, and care taking, so they can assume a motherly type role. Remember, the goal of any species (even ours) is to reproduce. Also, women love to "improve" things regardless of their current state. They love the idea of taking a "bad" guy and making husband material out of him. This is also another reason they love to decorate - they are "improving" their home. They try to make something out of nothing, and love to “help”. So, they'll be happy to make a husband out of someone they can help if they have the potential (make money, etc.) to be a good husband and provider, after all they put a lot of effort into this person. They are trying to mold the person (aka control), but they don’t think they are controlling. That’s the key point to remember! They don’t think they are! But, when you are in this position, she has basically assumed a motherly-type role with you. If you cannot be controlled, she’ll wish she could, fantasize about it, etc. and it goes from there. And, I do mean sexually too. Women don’t really believe physical and emotional stimulations are exclusive. To them, you can’t have one without the other – even for a one-night stand. They all say sex is love when it comes to their partner. There are exceptions to everything, but this tends to hold true in damn near every case. And I have questioned many different chicks (Yvette, Jeru – yeah that’s her name, Brandy, Ashley, Nancy, etc to name a few) about this stuff too to help confirm my ideas. So, if you want to make her wet when she thinks of you, don’t let her subconsciously think she’s your mother. Be the man, stay in control, but don’t be controlling. Don’t let her change you, and she’ll keep you on the fantasy list. Jeremy Falcon

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        Kevnar
        wrote on last edited by
        #72

        Jeremy Falcon wrote: So, if you want to make her wet when she thinks of you Perhaps a little too crude, but it gets the point across. :laugh:

        "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?" - Daniel Haley, The Onion

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        • M Megan Forbes

          I'm no expert (having never been divorced), but I think part of it is the instant gratification lifestyle we lead these days. That, and the fact that expecting such a lifestyle is owed to us. One day you decide you would be happy married - so you get married, as quickly as possible. A few years later you decide you would be happier if you were not married - easy solution, get a divorce as quickly as possible. The world owes you happines, why should you work for it. Very sad state of mind we seem to have found for ourselves. Especially as experience teaches any sane person that the things they've had to work hardest for are the things they enjoy and appreciate the most. Hmmm... I'm not typing very coherently today am I? :rolleyes:

          I may try to delete my CP cookies. But its almost like tossing the keys of the appartment into the river. - Andreas Saurwein

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          Jeremy Falcon
          wrote on last edited by
          #73

          Megan Forbes wrote: Especially as experience teaches any sane person that the things they've had to work hardest for are the things they enjoy and appreciate the most. You so reinforced one of the points my posts made - thanks! :) P.S. I'm not being sarcastic either. Jeremy Falcon

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          • N Nitron

            The grounds for athiesm are shaky at best. I don't mean to turn this in a religious direction, but I will attempt to make one small point. Before evaluating any given fact about religion, people bring to the table a pair of rose-colored glasses representing their world-view. This world-view is a culimination of all their experiences and beliefs, as well as the root of their logic. Everyone needs a starting point for their arguments: a faith-based assumption so to speak. From the secular athiest point of view, all there exists in the universe is molecules in motion. Love is nothing more than random firings of neurons that can be duplicated by consuming lots of cholocate. It is their belief that the universe came into being merely by chance, and there is no intelligent creator (God). However, that assumption is not scientifically provable, and as thus is merely an assumption of faith. There is no scientific method to prove what is beyond the universe or supernatural. Now from a bible-believing point of view, the faith assumption is that the bible is the inerrant word of god. A revealing of the nature of God to his people. Like the secular point of view, this assumption is also not provable by scientific method, but is a faith assumption. Thus it is the bible-believer who argues that the only reason the laws of the universe make any sense is that there is an intelligent creator. It is the bible-believer who states that it is no accident that the earth is the exact distance from the sun that it needs to be. The bible-believer will argue that the only reason man can do what he does is that an intelligent creator set it all in motion. Well, considering those two points of view, an athiest marriage is nothing more than random electrical neural patterns, with no set course and no arguable reason to be in the relationship in the first place. Wheras, the believers in a supreme being (God) have taken an oath in front of God as has been revealed to them in God's word. Thus the marriage has a goal and substance, and is not merely random chemical and electrial responses to the presence of the other individual. I am not intending to move this to religious debate, just supporting my response. - Nitron

            "Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb

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            Brit
            wrote on last edited by
            #74

            Kinda strange that the US' highest divorce rates occur in the Bible Belt, isn't it? ------------------------------------------ "What happened in that Rhode Island club is shocking. To think that over a hundred people would attend a Great White concert." - The Onion

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            • N Nitron

              Jonny Newman wrote: Reminds me of this[^] Just read the 'Statement of Principles' :confused: Was this reply intended for me? If so, don't get it. :~ I thought we were talking about divorce, which accidentally slipped on the floor of religion, but bumping my head on the wall of politics?! :confused: How did we end up there? - Nitron

              "Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb

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              Jon Newman
              wrote on last edited by
              #75

              It was the phrasing of that atheist quote reminded me of that page. No It has nothing directly related to the topic. But then life is full of suprises :-D

              "How long has the "Quote Selected Text" been around???"
              - Marc Clifton, Lounge 4 Mar '03
              "But a fresh install - it's like having clean sheets"
              - Chris Maunder Lounge 3 Mar '03

              Jonathan 'nonny' Newman
              Web Designer, Programmer, Lover, Visionary Leader... Homepage [www.nonny.com] [^]

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              • C Chris Maunder

                Hmm - I can't see anything specific to Australia. HAve we been forgotten in the push towards global supremacy? :( cheers, Chris Maunder

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                Brit
                wrote on last edited by
                #76

                Hmmmm, they're webserver must be down: http://www.newaustraliancentury.org/[^] ;) ------------------------------------------ "What happened in that Rhode Island club is shocking. To think that over a hundred people would attend a Great White concert." - The Onion

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                • C Chris Maunder

                  Hmm - I can't see anything specific to Australia. HAve we been forgotten in the push towards global supremacy? :( cheers, Chris Maunder

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                  Jon Newman
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #77

                  I'm sure the beer and insect life will keep invaders out for the time being :-D ;P

                  "How long has the "Quote Selected Text" been around???"
                  - Marc Clifton, Lounge 4 Mar '03
                  "But a fresh install - it's like having clean sheets"
                  - Chris Maunder Lounge 3 Mar '03

                  Jonathan 'nonny' Newman
                  Web Designer, Programmer, Lover, Visionary Leader... Homepage [www.nonny.com] [^]

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                  • K Kevnar

                    Well based on the context of his message I figure he was saying women aren't attracted to men they can control. They prefer a tough virile alpha-male. Someone to protect them and provide for them. I agree with him, inspite of feminist rhetoric.

                    "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?" - Daniel Haley, The Onion

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                    Jeremy Falcon
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #78

                    Bingo! Here's the sad part though. More guys could be that type of person if they set ego aside for a moment, analyze the situation, and see where they need to change. I know this because that's exactly what I did. I looked at myself objectively and went from there. So now I know the feeling of being rejected, AND I know the feeling of doing the rejection. Jeremy Falcon

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                    • P Paul Watson

                      Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

                      Paul Watson
                      Bluegrass
                      Cape Town, South Africa

                      Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                      Marc Clifton
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #79

                      What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Marriage. :-D Marc Help! I'm an AI running around in someone's f*cked up universe simulator.
                      Sensitivity and ethnic diversity means celebrating difference, not hiding from it. - Christian Graus
                      Every line of code is a liability - Taka Muraoka
                      Microsoft deliberately adds arbitrary layers of complexity to make it difficult to deliver Windows features on non-Windows platforms--Microsoft's "Halloween files"

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                      • P Paul Watson

                        Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

                        Paul Watson
                        Bluegrass
                        Cape Town, South Africa

                        Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                        Yuriy Zabroda
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #80

                        He wants more coding, she wants more fun.

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                        • B Brit

                          Kinda strange that the US' highest divorce rates occur in the Bible Belt, isn't it? ------------------------------------------ "What happened in that Rhode Island club is shocking. To think that over a hundred people would attend a Great White concert." - The Onion

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                          Nitron
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #81

                          Brit wrote: Kinda strange that the US' highest divorce rates occur in the Bible Belt, isn't it? Not really. Just as there are different flavors of atheism, there are (sadly) even more flavors of Christianity. I have met many self proclaiming "Christians" who behave in stark contrast to the teachings of the bible. IMO the "bible-belt" term is overrated. - Nitron

                          "Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb

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                          • D David Wulff

                            Well speaking from my endless knowledge on such matters I'd attribute seventy to eighty percent to weak characters. People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. :(

                            David Wulff

                            "Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!" - Strong Bad [^]

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                            Shog9 0
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #82

                            David Wulff wrote: People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. I was gonna reply with a detailed essay on why you are wrong about this... ...but, eh, don't wanna bother typing that much. ---

                            My whole life I've practiced the art of self-sabotage -- fearing success perhaps even more than fearing failure. I think I have got this flareup resolved, but I'm constantly waiting to see what new and exciting ways I can spoil my chances for a better life. - koreykruse, Compulsive Skin Picking

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                            • D David Wulff

                              Well speaking from my endless knowledge on such matters I'd attribute seventy to eighty percent to weak characters. People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. :(

                              David Wulff

                              "Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!" - Strong Bad [^]

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                              brianwelsch
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #83

                              David Wulff wrote: People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. I've thought that too, included myself, added various factors, shook it up for a bit, and ended out wondering if things weren't always that way. I mean why all of a sudden would people become too lazy? Granted they don't generally need to worry about food and shelter, and with the ease of transportation and communication today, people have more and more free time to fill. Which brings about boredom, I think, not laziness. I find myself often wondering, what the hell am I doing, besides filling in the empty spaces of time between eating and crapping. Alliavating(sp?) boredom is what I'm doing. Whether its by spending "quality time" with loved ones, or surfing the net, or drinking beer and shooting billiards, programming something, reading, whatever.... Even if I had a more structured approach to filling in the time, like helping kids learn to read, or help the homeless get on their feet, etc.. I'm still doing it primarily to keep myself occupied. It comes down to finding what activity makes me happiest. BW "We get general information and specific information, but none of the specific information talks about time, place or methods or means..." - Tom Ridge - US Secretary of Homeland Security

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                              • P Paul Watson

                                peterchen wrote: Yeah, like "close your eyes and think of the country" I shouldn't laugh but :laugh: How terrible. Sex, making love is just the most glorious thing, for all involved, not just the male. If I were female that alone would piss me off enough to want to get my due from the men.

                                Paul Watson
                                Bluegrass
                                Cape Town, South Africa

                                Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                                Nemanja Trifunovic
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #84

                                Paul Watson wrote: Sex, making love is just the most glorious thing Sex is OK, but I prefer a cold beer.

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                                • P Paul Watson

                                  peterchen wrote: Yeah, like "close your eyes and think of the country" I shouldn't laugh but :laugh: How terrible. Sex, making love is just the most glorious thing, for all involved, not just the male. If I were female that alone would piss me off enough to want to get my due from the men.

                                  Paul Watson
                                  Bluegrass
                                  Cape Town, South Africa

                                  Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                                  peterchen
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #85

                                  Paul Watson wrote: Sex, making love is just the most glorious thing, for all involved For this thing alone, I'm willing to put up with all those emancipatory bullsh*t. Life hasn't always been this - let me quote something else to illustrate this: "Because of [reasons]. That's why I will go into this room tomorrow, will bare the untouched, and rape her under the noise of gun shots." "OK. Until then, let's go swimming."

                                  If you go to war, you will destroy a great country a stoned greek chick to the richest man of the world
                                  sighist | Agile Programming | doxygen

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                                  • N Navin

                                    Yes, somehow IAlimony and IChildSupport objects never seem to get deleted. :-D You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

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                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #86

                                    They are static, and will be there until the application is terminated. My article on a reference-counted smart pointer that supports polymorphic objects and raw pointers

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                                    • P Paul Watson

                                      Simple enough question: What do you attribute the spiralling divorce rate in modern society to? Nish's chauvenistic* post below and his reply that India values of repressing women are the reason for the low divorce rate in India. I thought I would ask for your opinion before replying. :) * however unintended

                                      Paul Watson
                                      Bluegrass
                                      Cape Town, South Africa

                                      Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

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                                      Christian Graus
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #87

                                      In my opinion it's a simple fact that people don't take marriage seriously, and bail as soon as any disagreement occurs. Also, society is more amoral, and so more people cheat just for the sake of interesting sex, or because they think a great lover is a man who has lots of woman, not a man who keeps one woman happy for their lives. I think it's good in so far as I think in the past women especially felt compelled to stay in terrible situations that no-one should endure. But it's bad in that too many kids grow up in broken homes. My niece and nephew are examples. They will have many partners, because that seems normal to them, they are growing up with it. I don't think Nish's attitude is a problem, most women would be aware of it before they married someone with his views. Christian NO MATTER HOW MUCH BIG IS THE WORD SIZE ,THE DATA MUCT BE TRANSPORTED INTO THE CPU. - Vinod Sharma Anonymous wrote: OK. I read a c++ book. Or...a bit of it anyway. I'm sick of that evil looking console window. I think you are a good candidate for Visual Basic. - Nemanja Trifunovic

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                                      • D David Wulff

                                        Well speaking from my endless knowledge on such matters I'd attribute seventy to eighty percent to weak characters. People certainly don't seem to want to put the effort into life anymore. :(

                                        David Wulff

                                        "Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!" - Strong Bad [^]

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                                        Christian Graus
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #88

                                        Agreed, 100%. Christian NO MATTER HOW MUCH BIG IS THE WORD SIZE ,THE DATA MUCT BE TRANSPORTED INTO THE CPU. - Vinod Sharma Anonymous wrote: OK. I read a c++ book. Or...a bit of it anyway. I'm sick of that evil looking console window. I think you are a good candidate for Visual Basic. - Nemanja Trifunovic

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                                        • J Jon Newman

                                          I agree, now its just some paperwork and a legal settlement. In the past it was a very serious thing to do indeed, and could mean family unrest etc...

                                          "How long has the "Quote Selected Text" been around???"
                                          - Marc Clifton, Lounge 4 Mar '03
                                          "But a fresh install - it's like having clean sheets"
                                          - Chris Maunder Lounge 3 Mar '03

                                          Jonathan 'nonny' Newman
                                          Web Designer, Programmer, Lover, Visionary Leader... Homepage [www.nonny.com] [^]

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                                          Anna Jayne Metcalfe
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #89

                                          Hmmm...having recently been through "just some paperwork and a legal settlement" I can tell you it's not something anyone in their right mind would contemplate unless they had no alternative. The whole process is confrontational, expensive and extremely destressing. Losing the partner I thought was my soulmate is the most horrible thing I've ever had to do and in all honesty changing my apparent gender was easy by comparison. Over a year after proceedings started they're still not complete and I still regularly cry myself to sleep because I miss Karen so much - but I know I had no choice in leaving. :(( Sorry I'm not very coherant but I've been trying to keep going as normal with this on my mind for 3 days now and it's eating me apart. Anna :rose: www.annasplace.me.uk

                                          "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
                                          - Marcia Graesch

                                          Trouble with resource IDs? Try the Resource ID Organiser Add-In for Visual C++

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