Leslie Nielsen on Love and Marriage
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Love A teacher asks a student: "What kind of woman would you like to be with when you're all grown up?" "A woman like the moon!" Answers the kid. "That's beautiful," breathes the teacher, "what a choice! Because you'd like her to be beautiful and radiant like the moon?" "No, I'd like her to appear at night and disappear come morning!" Death After Bob died, everyone gathered at his funeral. Then the minister started to speak: "He was a model husband, a decent man, a terrific father.." The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her. "What is it, mother?" he whispers. "Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..." Hope Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "What do you mean nothing? You've been staring at our marriage certificate for over an hour!" Husband: "Yea, I'm checking the expiration date." Neighbors "The new neighbors are so in love," remarks Susan to her husband, "he hugs her, kisses her and strokes her hair. Why don't you do that?" "Because I don't know her that well." Donations Knock on the door. "Hello sir, would you like to contribute something to the old folks home?" "Yes, actually." Beams the old man. "Inge, put your jacket on and pack a suitcase!" Shopping An elderly couple is walking in the city, hand in hand, when they pass a jewellery store. The wife turns to her husband with a smile: "Love, would you buy me a chain?" "Why?" Asks the husband, "Tired of being free?" Qualities A woman asks her husband: "What do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my sexy body?" The husband gives her a long, appreciating look. "Your sense of humor." --
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Love A teacher asks a student: "What kind of woman would you like to be with when you're all grown up?" "A woman like the moon!" Answers the kid. "That's beautiful," breathes the teacher, "what a choice! Because you'd like her to be beautiful and radiant like the moon?" "No, I'd like her to appear at night and disappear come morning!" Death After Bob died, everyone gathered at his funeral. Then the minister started to speak: "He was a model husband, a decent man, a terrific father.." The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her. "What is it, mother?" he whispers. "Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..." Hope Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "What do you mean nothing? You've been staring at our marriage certificate for over an hour!" Husband: "Yea, I'm checking the expiration date." Neighbors "The new neighbors are so in love," remarks Susan to her husband, "he hugs her, kisses her and strokes her hair. Why don't you do that?" "Because I don't know her that well." Donations Knock on the door. "Hello sir, would you like to contribute something to the old folks home?" "Yes, actually." Beams the old man. "Inge, put your jacket on and pack a suitcase!" Shopping An elderly couple is walking in the city, hand in hand, when they pass a jewellery store. The wife turns to her husband with a smile: "Love, would you buy me a chain?" "Why?" Asks the husband, "Tired of being free?" Qualities A woman asks her husband: "What do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my sexy body?" The husband gives her a long, appreciating look. "Your sense of humor." --
Son - Dad, did you know that in some cultures, the husband doesn't know his wife before they are married? Dad - That's true in all cultures, son!
Quad skating his way through the world since the early 80's... Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
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Love A teacher asks a student: "What kind of woman would you like to be with when you're all grown up?" "A woman like the moon!" Answers the kid. "That's beautiful," breathes the teacher, "what a choice! Because you'd like her to be beautiful and radiant like the moon?" "No, I'd like her to appear at night and disappear come morning!" Death After Bob died, everyone gathered at his funeral. Then the minister started to speak: "He was a model husband, a decent man, a terrific father.." The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her. "What is it, mother?" he whispers. "Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..." Hope Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "What do you mean nothing? You've been staring at our marriage certificate for over an hour!" Husband: "Yea, I'm checking the expiration date." Neighbors "The new neighbors are so in love," remarks Susan to her husband, "he hugs her, kisses her and strokes her hair. Why don't you do that?" "Because I don't know her that well." Donations Knock on the door. "Hello sir, would you like to contribute something to the old folks home?" "Yes, actually." Beams the old man. "Inge, put your jacket on and pack a suitcase!" Shopping An elderly couple is walking in the city, hand in hand, when they pass a jewellery store. The wife turns to her husband with a smile: "Love, would you buy me a chain?" "Why?" Asks the husband, "Tired of being free?" Qualities A woman asks her husband: "What do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my sexy body?" The husband gives her a long, appreciating look. "Your sense of humor." --
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
In code we trust !
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Love A teacher asks a student: "What kind of woman would you like to be with when you're all grown up?" "A woman like the moon!" Answers the kid. "That's beautiful," breathes the teacher, "what a choice! Because you'd like her to be beautiful and radiant like the moon?" "No, I'd like her to appear at night and disappear come morning!" Death After Bob died, everyone gathered at his funeral. Then the minister started to speak: "He was a model husband, a decent man, a terrific father.." The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her. "What is it, mother?" he whispers. "Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..." Hope Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "What do you mean nothing? You've been staring at our marriage certificate for over an hour!" Husband: "Yea, I'm checking the expiration date." Neighbors "The new neighbors are so in love," remarks Susan to her husband, "he hugs her, kisses her and strokes her hair. Why don't you do that?" "Because I don't know her that well." Donations Knock on the door. "Hello sir, would you like to contribute something to the old folks home?" "Yes, actually." Beams the old man. "Inge, put your jacket on and pack a suitcase!" Shopping An elderly couple is walking in the city, hand in hand, when they pass a jewellery store. The wife turns to her husband with a smile: "Love, would you buy me a chain?" "Why?" Asks the husband, "Tired of being free?" Qualities A woman asks her husband: "What do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my sexy body?" The husband gives her a long, appreciating look. "Your sense of humor." --
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Had the same thought.
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It's OK, he's got plenty of regenerations left. With any luck, he'll be Canadian again, and not Scots.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!