How does one live with themself
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knowing that their code smells worse then dinosaur farts?! Honestly, I could not advertise myself as a competent software engineer, if I knowingly produced such excrement. and yet these "senior" engineers are still employed. :wtf: :omg:
Ask rather how one will react to the news that he has been made a plural.
This fear of he, him, and his as the standard generic singular pronouns has gone far enough. Men, find your balls. Women, get over yourselves.
(This message is programming you in ways you cannot detect. Be afraid.)
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knowing that their code smells worse then dinosaur farts?! Honestly, I could not advertise myself as a competent software engineer, if I knowingly produced such excrement. and yet these "senior" engineers are still employed. :wtf: :omg:
Poorly written code that works, and keeps on working, triumphs over elegant code that hasn't been deployed or doesn't work. Also, having the 'OK' button in the right spot means more to users than the architecture of your solution. I've based my 12 year career on putting out crap code that works.
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Client: We need this and we need it now. Dev: That will take 3 or 4 days to do Client: We need it today or you don't get paid! Dev: No way - only way I could do that would be to do a real quick and dirty - bypass the ORM , directly access the Db via ... Client: lala lalalla lalala Dev's Boss: The Dev said he could do it! nSo Doit Do it DO IT! Dev: BUt it's just a quick fix, right, we'll re-engineer it straight away, right? In the next sprint? Dev's Boss: Sure. :rubs hands together: Dev: I hate my life!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
Exactly!
Jeremy Falcon
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Client: We need this and we need it now. Dev: That will take 3 or 4 days to do Client: We need it today or you don't get paid! Dev: No way - only way I could do that would be to do a real quick and dirty - bypass the ORM , directly access the Db via ... Client: lala lalalla lalala Dev's Boss: The Dev said he could do it! nSo Doit Do it DO IT! Dev: BUt it's just a quick fix, right, we'll re-engineer it straight away, right? In the next sprint? Dev's Boss: Sure. :rubs hands together: Dev: I hate my life!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
Been there, wont ever go back. If I am the only developer that can provide the solution, my answer quickly become: - Under normal time constraints. 3-4 days. - If you rush this, I will "try" with no promises, but the COST will be 8 days. If you are okay with paying for 8 days of my time to do it wrong, and then to fix it, well of course I will do that. If there is another option for them to develop it with, I ALWAYS let them choose that one, when they want such rubbish.
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My experience is, that people who are writing bad code have also bad habits. So I often critize bad code to hit these guys. :cool: God bless we only a small amount of this slack. (but I know one - one of my collegues)
Press F1 for help or google it. Greetings from Germany
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knowing that their code smells worse then dinosaur farts?! Honestly, I could not advertise myself as a competent software engineer, if I knowingly produced such excrement. and yet these "senior" engineers are still employed. :wtf: :omg:
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Ask rather how one will react to the news that he has been made a plural.
This fear of he, him, and his as the standard generic singular pronouns has gone far enough. Men, find your balls. Women, get over yourselves.
(This message is programming you in ways you cannot detect. Be afraid.)
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Client: We need this and we need it now. Dev: That will take 3 or 4 days to do Client: We need it today or you don't get paid! Dev: No way - only way I could do that would be to do a real quick and dirty - bypass the ORM , directly access the Db via ... Client: lala lalalla lalala Dev's Boss: The Dev said he could do it! nSo Doit Do it DO IT! Dev: BUt it's just a quick fix, right, we'll re-engineer it straight away, right? In the next sprint? Dev's Boss: Sure. :rubs hands together: Dev: I hate my life!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
I'll see your scenario and raise you.. Biz Mgr: The Client says that we have to have the system do this. Dev: Well it's not really how the system is designed work.. Who said we could do that and what are the requirements? Biz Mgr: I'm not sure but this is a deal breaker! Dev's Boss: Ok, well lets hash out the requirements so we can scope it out and get it into the backlog. Biz Mgr: Great! Wait, what's a Backlog? We need this right away, Client rolls out Q1. Dev: WHAT!? It's almost November! So we have to redesign a production system to function in a way it was never designed, for 1 client who can't even give us detailed requirements of how it exactly should work...and we have to have it done yesterday!? Biz Mgr: Sorry, 6 weeks should be plenty though right? It's not like this a complete rewrite. Dev: :wtf: Says to himself "Wow Biz Mgr and now an architect too?" Having witnessed the recurring symptoms of 'clientitus' throughout my career, It has become much easier for me to "live with myself". Gives me an excuse to use more colorful comments in my code. :laugh:
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knowing that their code smells worse then dinosaur farts?! Honestly, I could not advertise myself as a competent software engineer, if I knowingly produced such excrement. and yet these "senior" engineers are still employed. :wtf: :omg:
The universe has provided these idiots to serve you: thanks to them, you will never be unemployed. I do feel, however, that the universe should provide a type of "buy four, get one free" policy - i.e. after having cleaned up the mess that four of them have made, you should be allowed legally to murder the fifth one. It's only sanitary, after all...
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I'll see your scenario and raise you.. Biz Mgr: The Client says that we have to have the system do this. Dev: Well it's not really how the system is designed work.. Who said we could do that and what are the requirements? Biz Mgr: I'm not sure but this is a deal breaker! Dev's Boss: Ok, well lets hash out the requirements so we can scope it out and get it into the backlog. Biz Mgr: Great! Wait, what's a Backlog? We need this right away, Client rolls out Q1. Dev: WHAT!? It's almost November! So we have to redesign a production system to function in a way it was never designed, for 1 client who can't even give us detailed requirements of how it exactly should work...and we have to have it done yesterday!? Biz Mgr: Sorry, 6 weeks should be plenty though right? It's not like this a complete rewrite. Dev: :wtf: Says to himself "Wow Biz Mgr and now an architect too?" Having witnessed the recurring symptoms of 'clientitus' throughout my career, It has become much easier for me to "live with myself". Gives me an excuse to use more colorful comments in my code. :laugh:
Give an excuse to use non tested technology/methods/procedures in the field, to use dangerous practices, everything will crumb down sometime, why care? all those software are just my experimentation lab, I don't care anymore if it will crash in two days. "You have to be professional" fuck this, they aren't being professional by accepting this shit from clients, that's why this is crazy work, everything is utter shit because of this endemic behavior of the managers, they always take deadlines out of their magic hats.
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Been there, wont ever go back. If I am the only developer that can provide the solution, my answer quickly become: - Under normal time constraints. 3-4 days. - If you rush this, I will "try" with no promises, but the COST will be 8 days. If you are okay with paying for 8 days of my time to do it wrong, and then to fix it, well of course I will do that. If there is another option for them to develop it with, I ALWAYS let them choose that one, when they want such rubbish.
Yeah - that's fine when you're 'the boss' and can decide what to do. Problem is the majority of developers are in the 'do what the boss says' role without the options. I recently had the situation that, with major issues in the codebase requiring fixing (35 second response times, frequent crashes, simple failure of functionality) we dropped everything and started a sprint - to change the fonts and footers on all the reports so they all look exactly the same The main reason they weren't all the same was because the data required wouldn't fit on some of the reports otherwise. Now, the developers could have stood their ground -- but they're being paid to develop and offer advice - so, advice offered, the choice is do it or move it. Of course, teh ling term result of this sort of thing continuing is redundancy anyway ...
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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knowing that their code smells worse then dinosaur farts?! Honestly, I could not advertise myself as a competent software engineer, if I knowingly produced such excrement. and yet these "senior" engineers are still employed. :wtf: :omg:
I transfer the blame on the clients who haphazardly request new features who contradict each other and are meant to be delivered yesterday. :)
CEO at: - Rafaga Systems - Para Facturas - Modern Components for the moment...
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Yeah - that's fine when you're 'the boss' and can decide what to do. Problem is the majority of developers are in the 'do what the boss says' role without the options. I recently had the situation that, with major issues in the codebase requiring fixing (35 second response times, frequent crashes, simple failure of functionality) we dropped everything and started a sprint - to change the fonts and footers on all the reports so they all look exactly the same The main reason they weren't all the same was because the data required wouldn't fit on some of the reports otherwise. Now, the developers could have stood their ground -- but they're being paid to develop and offer advice - so, advice offered, the choice is do it or move it. Of course, teh ling term result of this sort of thing continuing is redundancy anyway ...
PooperPig - Coming Soon
I will add that the easiest way to make your boss fail is to do what he asks... Exactly what he asks, with no common sense applied. I stand my ground, that even if you are just a developer... You have an OBLIGATION to do a professional job. I stopped calling it "Kirk's Law", but I warned people: You CANNOT pick the features AND the DEADLINE. It is like someone coming in and saying, we break ground tomorrow, we need to build a full scale replicate of the Empire State Building, and we have 7 days! (Hey, it was built before, we should know the sizes, how hard can it be?) Honestly, if you are HONEST and UPFRONT that it cannot SAFELY be done in the time given. Let them know that there is a 90% probability that the entire system will crash and data will be lost because of this bad decision. Most clients are RISK ADVERSE. And this "Big Client" crap is for the birds. If you have to add a feature to a system being worked on. Can they REALLY get someone else in, up to speed, and have them do EVERYTHING you are doing, PLUS add this new feature? (if they can, then you are not worth what you are charging them, and they should go with someone else). Clients will DEMAND whatever they want, but I am here to tell you, they do NOT LIKE the horror stories, and if they get even the slightest whiff that they are about to create a horror story for themselves, they usually shift away from the demanding stance. In my book, the problem is that developers are too willing to say YES they can do something. I used to be that guy. In the end I was not happy, and the customer was not happy. I am no longer that guy, and DESPITE a few "difficult" conversations, the clients are much happier and so am I. Projects go online that require NEAR ZERO support. Because it was well-designed, well-managed, and well-built. Honestly, if you told your boss YOU cannot do it in the time allotted, what is he going to say? As long as you are being honest, you will change your organization, or you will change your organization. == PS: The report issue: As long as the client does not dictate HOW MUCH TIME YOU GET to do it, I am okay with them setting priorities. (But this issue was about Doing X in 1/2 the time required)