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How bad is it Doc?

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  • J jeeves77

    I think I work in an environment teetering on the edge of toxicity. Our shop follows "strict agile principles" says our leader to any outsiders unfortunate enough to ask about our processes and get a response. Previously we were a self-guided waterfall group which transformed from a ten million dollar company that was eventually bought by an enterprise. Present day, we have added a few more heads; one of which is a "senior" who is baffled by things like string.Format, generics and well most any other concepts beyond Hello-world and IDE features, but he's got 20+ years experience... he didn't get fizz-buzzed or any coding interview btw. But I digress. Now our process is "agile". And by "agile" I mean we subscribe to the following practices: - Sprints vary from 1-6 weeks and are as predictable as the weather on Jupiter - User Stories? I hear the term often, but the team has never actually seen one - Estimation and Planning, we do this sporadically but it has been a while since the last one - Tasks are added to the sprint EVERY day - Need clarification/details on tasks like "Implement Security" and "Improve Performance", ask the product owner - Have concerns about a feature or edict that would be construed as a bad practice or horrible UI layout, take it up with the product owner - There is no official product owner and the tasks above typically come from the leaders or their suboordinates - Retrospectives, i think we've had one of those. - Backlog grooming, thats where you add more tasks right? - Conversations like this happen often: Mgmt: We need to implement feature Y for the release we scheduled 45 days from now (based on no estimates btw) Dev: You told me feature X was priority. We spec'ed out feature X so we could deliver a finished product in 45 days. Which is a priority? Mgmt: Both... (along with a WTF are you asking expression) Dev: Lets assume feature Y takes the same time we think X will. Thats 90 days. You want that in 45 days? Mgmt: Yes, you guys are sharp. You're a great, talented group; you'll figure it out (<- Leadership training) Dev: Talent aside, time is time... where are we going to squeeze this extra stuff in? Mgmt: Wherever you can. Theres always nights and weekends right? - Theres a graph that tracks the burndown for tasks to the end of the sprint. Mgmt is concerned about why it always trends upward and never down. Perhaps its a bug in TFS. Solution: don't estimate something until you start working on it... I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wond

    L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #21

    ::Maxxx looks around at his fellow developers, cautiously... Which one of you guys is this Jeeves Fellow?::

    PooperPig - Coming Soon

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • M Mycroft Holmes

      God, our CEO, decided we would go "agile", they got in a permanent trainer team as they (he) wants the entire culture, management, operations, devs, the lot to go agile. Trainer gets a bunch of devs together to explain the bones of the new environment. Says the idea is to have all the people involved in the project sitting near each other to encourage involvement, I fell off the chair laughing. We are scattered over 3 floors and that is just the dev team. That was 6 months ago, nothing has changed!

      Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

      C Offline
      C Offline
      CBadger
      wrote on last edited by
      #22

      Mycroft Holmes wrote:

      Trainer gets a bunch of devs together to explain the bones of the new environment.

      I also had this experience, the only difference is (which was the reason it worked at the end) that the 'trainer' also pulled in management and at times had meetings with only the management level and higher. As has been said before the solution lies in not only training the developers but all the management and higher positions should also be trained in Agile workings and 'rules' etc. The person even trained business management in agile and as such they were in the weekly retros. I remember every Wednesday all the HODs will do a walk through of each team's board (That had all the iteration progress and stories etc.)

      »»» Loading Signature ««« · · · Please Wait · · ·    :badger:   :badger:   :badger:

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      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

        There are issues and issues - some you can fix by staying, and some you can't. But when management expect you to spend all your spare time working in order to meet deadlines like that, it's not a good sign, and they don't generally listen and respond well to criticism. In fact, it's a good way to get your card marked as the first to go when they want to reduce headcount (and they will, because they can get twice the work out of each of you for no extra pay - so halve the workforce!) And I'd rather leave at a time of my choosing than at a time of theirs, because it's a lot easier to get a job when you have a job. Ask glennPattonPUB!

        Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

        Kornfeld Eliyahu PeterK Offline
        Kornfeld Eliyahu PeterK Offline
        Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter
        wrote on last edited by
        #23

        OriginalGriff wrote:

        and they don't generally listen and respond well to criticism

        FTFY

        Skipper: We'll fix it. Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this? Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.

        "It never ceases to amaze me that a spacecraft launched in 1977 can be fixed remotely from Earth." ― Brian Cox

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        • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

          Leave. It's not going to get better. And if you start regularly doing evenings and weekends to meet artificial and manipulated deadlines, they will start to expect it. And then rely on it - and finally insist on it. Elephant that!

          Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

          S Offline
          S Offline
          Simon ORiordan from UK
          wrote on last edited by
          #24

          Concur.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • Z ZurdoDev

            Pualee wrote:

            A team cannot function in agile unless management also buys into it...

            :thumbsup:

            There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

            S Offline
            S Offline
            Simon ORiordan from UK
            wrote on last edited by
            #25

            This is not about agile. This is about stupid.

            J Z 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • S Simon ORiordan from UK

              This is not about agile. This is about stupid.

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Jorgen Andersson
              wrote on last edited by
              #26

              :thumbsup:

              Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

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              • J Jorgen Andersson

                It's possible, but then you were at a place where a majority of the developers and 100% of the management was competent. But guess what, under those circumstances most methods would have worked.

                Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

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                G Offline
                G Tek
                wrote on last edited by
                #27

                "100% of the management was competent" You're funny. I like you ;)

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • S Simon ORiordan from UK

                  This is not about agile. This is about stupid.

                  Z Offline
                  Z Offline
                  ZurdoDev
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #28

                  Simon O'Riordan from UK wrote:

                  This is about stupid.

                  Deciding that based on the little information you have... :doh:

                  There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

                  S 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • J jeeves77

                    I think I work in an environment teetering on the edge of toxicity. Our shop follows "strict agile principles" says our leader to any outsiders unfortunate enough to ask about our processes and get a response. Previously we were a self-guided waterfall group which transformed from a ten million dollar company that was eventually bought by an enterprise. Present day, we have added a few more heads; one of which is a "senior" who is baffled by things like string.Format, generics and well most any other concepts beyond Hello-world and IDE features, but he's got 20+ years experience... he didn't get fizz-buzzed or any coding interview btw. But I digress. Now our process is "agile". And by "agile" I mean we subscribe to the following practices: - Sprints vary from 1-6 weeks and are as predictable as the weather on Jupiter - User Stories? I hear the term often, but the team has never actually seen one - Estimation and Planning, we do this sporadically but it has been a while since the last one - Tasks are added to the sprint EVERY day - Need clarification/details on tasks like "Implement Security" and "Improve Performance", ask the product owner - Have concerns about a feature or edict that would be construed as a bad practice or horrible UI layout, take it up with the product owner - There is no official product owner and the tasks above typically come from the leaders or their suboordinates - Retrospectives, i think we've had one of those. - Backlog grooming, thats where you add more tasks right? - Conversations like this happen often: Mgmt: We need to implement feature Y for the release we scheduled 45 days from now (based on no estimates btw) Dev: You told me feature X was priority. We spec'ed out feature X so we could deliver a finished product in 45 days. Which is a priority? Mgmt: Both... (along with a WTF are you asking expression) Dev: Lets assume feature Y takes the same time we think X will. Thats 90 days. You want that in 45 days? Mgmt: Yes, you guys are sharp. You're a great, talented group; you'll figure it out (<- Leadership training) Dev: Talent aside, time is time... where are we going to squeeze this extra stuff in? Mgmt: Wherever you can. Theres always nights and weekends right? - Theres a graph that tracks the burndown for tasks to the end of the sprint. Mgmt is concerned about why it always trends upward and never down. Perhaps its a bug in TFS. Solution: don't estimate something until you start working on it... I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wond

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    milo xml
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #29

                    Makes me glad that I'm a one man team with management who has no clue how to coding works.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • J jeeves77

                      I think I work in an environment teetering on the edge of toxicity. Our shop follows "strict agile principles" says our leader to any outsiders unfortunate enough to ask about our processes and get a response. Previously we were a self-guided waterfall group which transformed from a ten million dollar company that was eventually bought by an enterprise. Present day, we have added a few more heads; one of which is a "senior" who is baffled by things like string.Format, generics and well most any other concepts beyond Hello-world and IDE features, but he's got 20+ years experience... he didn't get fizz-buzzed or any coding interview btw. But I digress. Now our process is "agile". And by "agile" I mean we subscribe to the following practices: - Sprints vary from 1-6 weeks and are as predictable as the weather on Jupiter - User Stories? I hear the term often, but the team has never actually seen one - Estimation and Planning, we do this sporadically but it has been a while since the last one - Tasks are added to the sprint EVERY day - Need clarification/details on tasks like "Implement Security" and "Improve Performance", ask the product owner - Have concerns about a feature or edict that would be construed as a bad practice or horrible UI layout, take it up with the product owner - There is no official product owner and the tasks above typically come from the leaders or their suboordinates - Retrospectives, i think we've had one of those. - Backlog grooming, thats where you add more tasks right? - Conversations like this happen often: Mgmt: We need to implement feature Y for the release we scheduled 45 days from now (based on no estimates btw) Dev: You told me feature X was priority. We spec'ed out feature X so we could deliver a finished product in 45 days. Which is a priority? Mgmt: Both... (along with a WTF are you asking expression) Dev: Lets assume feature Y takes the same time we think X will. Thats 90 days. You want that in 45 days? Mgmt: Yes, you guys are sharp. You're a great, talented group; you'll figure it out (<- Leadership training) Dev: Talent aside, time is time... where are we going to squeeze this extra stuff in? Mgmt: Wherever you can. Theres always nights and weekends right? - Theres a graph that tracks the burndown for tasks to the end of the sprint. Mgmt is concerned about why it always trends upward and never down. Perhaps its a bug in TFS. Solution: don't estimate something until you start working on it... I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wond

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                      C Offline
                      Charles T Blankenship
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #30

                      It could be MUCH worse. You could not have a job at all, like myself ... but I'm not here for a sympathy party. I've occupied positions of management as well as positions of programmer (in all various forms). When in a programming position (the nature of which was senior enough to allow me to actually communicate with "management") I took the position of educator. You see, people can become management, usually, not so much because of skill, but because of perseverance. In effect, they were so insecure with their capabilities that when their previous boss finally said "WTF", realized he/she could get a better job somewhere else, and told the current company to FOAD, it is possible that his blooming idiot of a mentor actually made it into management. (Obviously, this is a hypothetical situation ... but it has happened to me several times ... with a couple of different outcomes). In any event, if you ever want to dethrone your resident idiot (RI), you need proof. Therefore, you too must embrace the role of educator. First, every time you talk to the RI and he/she (IT) publicly proclaims their idiocy, make a note of it (or multiple its). Then, in your spare time, (usually on weekends or Holidays ;-), write an article that first, documents the fact that IT said what IT said and then describe, with references, why IT is misinformed ... most importantly, document why this particular misconception is hurting your team's productivity and thereby the profitability of the company). With the last being the most salient point. Remember, your actual audience, is the RI's BOSS. Therefore, you cannot speak too much tech ... but enough to illustrate that the RI is actually an RI. Keep the NATURE of this documentation a TOTAL secret. Communicate only with the RI, via email, with the express understanding that you are trying to HELP IT. However, never forget, you are in a hostile environment. You may think you have friends but there is always that one, insecure "helmut head", that is looking to make his/her way into your position via your decaying corpse. Don't give them any ammunition with which they can expedite your demise. There are two possible outcomes: 1) Your RI is not really an RI at all ... they will take your advice, incorporate it into their management style and graduate from RI to the BEST friend you will EVER have in management. Not to mention, you will have the beginnings of a great tutorial to be used by the next IT hiring on-board. 2) Your RI is really a "BIG"

                      J 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • J jeeves77

                        I think I work in an environment teetering on the edge of toxicity. Our shop follows "strict agile principles" says our leader to any outsiders unfortunate enough to ask about our processes and get a response. Previously we were a self-guided waterfall group which transformed from a ten million dollar company that was eventually bought by an enterprise. Present day, we have added a few more heads; one of which is a "senior" who is baffled by things like string.Format, generics and well most any other concepts beyond Hello-world and IDE features, but he's got 20+ years experience... he didn't get fizz-buzzed or any coding interview btw. But I digress. Now our process is "agile". And by "agile" I mean we subscribe to the following practices: - Sprints vary from 1-6 weeks and are as predictable as the weather on Jupiter - User Stories? I hear the term often, but the team has never actually seen one - Estimation and Planning, we do this sporadically but it has been a while since the last one - Tasks are added to the sprint EVERY day - Need clarification/details on tasks like "Implement Security" and "Improve Performance", ask the product owner - Have concerns about a feature or edict that would be construed as a bad practice or horrible UI layout, take it up with the product owner - There is no official product owner and the tasks above typically come from the leaders or their suboordinates - Retrospectives, i think we've had one of those. - Backlog grooming, thats where you add more tasks right? - Conversations like this happen often: Mgmt: We need to implement feature Y for the release we scheduled 45 days from now (based on no estimates btw) Dev: You told me feature X was priority. We spec'ed out feature X so we could deliver a finished product in 45 days. Which is a priority? Mgmt: Both... (along with a WTF are you asking expression) Dev: Lets assume feature Y takes the same time we think X will. Thats 90 days. You want that in 45 days? Mgmt: Yes, you guys are sharp. You're a great, talented group; you'll figure it out (<- Leadership training) Dev: Talent aside, time is time... where are we going to squeeze this extra stuff in? Mgmt: Wherever you can. Theres always nights and weekends right? - Theres a graph that tracks the burndown for tasks to the end of the sprint. Mgmt is concerned about why it always trends upward and never down. Perhaps its a bug in TFS. Solution: don't estimate something until you start working on it... I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wond

                        M Offline
                        M Offline
                        mrmike
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #31

                        jeeves77 wrote:

                        I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wondered what it was like to work on a dysfunctional team, but now I think I know.
                        It could always be worse right? Right?!!

                        Father had a saying "Leave while you still have something nice to say about the place". Mike

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                          Leave. It's not going to get better. And if you start regularly doing evenings and weekends to meet artificial and manipulated deadlines, they will start to expect it. And then rely on it - and finally insist on it. Elephant that!

                          Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                          S Offline
                          S Offline
                          SimpleWins
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #32

                          :thumbsup: Exactly righ. It will never get better. Been there too many times...

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                            Leave. It's not going to get better. And if you start regularly doing evenings and weekends to meet artificial and manipulated deadlines, they will start to expect it. And then rely on it - and finally insist on it. Elephant that!

                            Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                            R Offline
                            R Offline
                            Rowdy Raider
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #33

                            Concur.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • J jeeves77

                              I think I work in an environment teetering on the edge of toxicity. Our shop follows "strict agile principles" says our leader to any outsiders unfortunate enough to ask about our processes and get a response. Previously we were a self-guided waterfall group which transformed from a ten million dollar company that was eventually bought by an enterprise. Present day, we have added a few more heads; one of which is a "senior" who is baffled by things like string.Format, generics and well most any other concepts beyond Hello-world and IDE features, but he's got 20+ years experience... he didn't get fizz-buzzed or any coding interview btw. But I digress. Now our process is "agile". And by "agile" I mean we subscribe to the following practices: - Sprints vary from 1-6 weeks and are as predictable as the weather on Jupiter - User Stories? I hear the term often, but the team has never actually seen one - Estimation and Planning, we do this sporadically but it has been a while since the last one - Tasks are added to the sprint EVERY day - Need clarification/details on tasks like "Implement Security" and "Improve Performance", ask the product owner - Have concerns about a feature or edict that would be construed as a bad practice or horrible UI layout, take it up with the product owner - There is no official product owner and the tasks above typically come from the leaders or their suboordinates - Retrospectives, i think we've had one of those. - Backlog grooming, thats where you add more tasks right? - Conversations like this happen often: Mgmt: We need to implement feature Y for the release we scheduled 45 days from now (based on no estimates btw) Dev: You told me feature X was priority. We spec'ed out feature X so we could deliver a finished product in 45 days. Which is a priority? Mgmt: Both... (along with a WTF are you asking expression) Dev: Lets assume feature Y takes the same time we think X will. Thats 90 days. You want that in 45 days? Mgmt: Yes, you guys are sharp. You're a great, talented group; you'll figure it out (<- Leadership training) Dev: Talent aside, time is time... where are we going to squeeze this extra stuff in? Mgmt: Wherever you can. Theres always nights and weekends right? - Theres a graph that tracks the burndown for tasks to the end of the sprint. Mgmt is concerned about why it always trends upward and never down. Perhaps its a bug in TFS. Solution: don't estimate something until you start working on it... I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wond

                              M Offline
                              M Offline
                              Mark_Wallace
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #34

                              The trouble with the word "agile" is that many people interpret it as meaning "Hey, we just do whatever we feel like doing, and the poor suckers who work for us have to live with it!" What your company appears to be doing is so far away from agile that they should rename it arthritis. Interestingly, the cure for most of the symptoms of the disease you appear to be suffering from would be to adopt agile methods -- the real ones.

                              I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • J jeeves77

                                I think I work in an environment teetering on the edge of toxicity. Our shop follows "strict agile principles" says our leader to any outsiders unfortunate enough to ask about our processes and get a response. Previously we were a self-guided waterfall group which transformed from a ten million dollar company that was eventually bought by an enterprise. Present day, we have added a few more heads; one of which is a "senior" who is baffled by things like string.Format, generics and well most any other concepts beyond Hello-world and IDE features, but he's got 20+ years experience... he didn't get fizz-buzzed or any coding interview btw. But I digress. Now our process is "agile". And by "agile" I mean we subscribe to the following practices: - Sprints vary from 1-6 weeks and are as predictable as the weather on Jupiter - User Stories? I hear the term often, but the team has never actually seen one - Estimation and Planning, we do this sporadically but it has been a while since the last one - Tasks are added to the sprint EVERY day - Need clarification/details on tasks like "Implement Security" and "Improve Performance", ask the product owner - Have concerns about a feature or edict that would be construed as a bad practice or horrible UI layout, take it up with the product owner - There is no official product owner and the tasks above typically come from the leaders or their suboordinates - Retrospectives, i think we've had one of those. - Backlog grooming, thats where you add more tasks right? - Conversations like this happen often: Mgmt: We need to implement feature Y for the release we scheduled 45 days from now (based on no estimates btw) Dev: You told me feature X was priority. We spec'ed out feature X so we could deliver a finished product in 45 days. Which is a priority? Mgmt: Both... (along with a WTF are you asking expression) Dev: Lets assume feature Y takes the same time we think X will. Thats 90 days. You want that in 45 days? Mgmt: Yes, you guys are sharp. You're a great, talented group; you'll figure it out (<- Leadership training) Dev: Talent aside, time is time... where are we going to squeeze this extra stuff in? Mgmt: Wherever you can. Theres always nights and weekends right? - Theres a graph that tracks the burndown for tasks to the end of the sprint. Mgmt is concerned about why it always trends upward and never down. Perhaps its a bug in TFS. Solution: don't estimate something until you start working on it... I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wond

                                O Offline
                                O Offline
                                Old ish coder
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #35

                                I'll wait for the novel...or the movie, whichever comes first. But I think the movie's already been done. I have a red stapler, is that a bad thing?

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                                • Z ZurdoDev

                                  Simon O'Riordan from UK wrote:

                                  This is about stupid.

                                  Deciding that based on the little information you have... :doh:

                                  There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

                                  S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  Simon ORiordan from UK
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #36

                                  Same amount as you mate.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                    Leave. It's not going to get better. And if you start regularly doing evenings and weekends to meet artificial and manipulated deadlines, they will start to expect it. And then rely on it - and finally insist on it. Elephant that!

                                    Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                                    A Offline
                                    A Offline
                                    agolddog
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #37

                                    This. That might be a great environment for some--some people get off on working themselves to a frazzle. However from jeeves' rant, he's clearly not one of them. He needs to find something else to do. I think one clear thing (from the way jeeves framed it) is that these truly are artificial deadlines. Sure, there are occasions when, due to regulatory changes or something like that, a date truly is a must-not-miss, and we need to put in extra effort. Because some sales drone told a (potential) client that "hey, this feature will be in our next release"? DFC. Sales drone needs to address what is clearly his problem then. (Or, we can consciously choose to reallocate resources or shift priorities, that's O.K. However, if everything is top priority, then nothing is).

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • J jeeves77

                                      I think I work in an environment teetering on the edge of toxicity. Our shop follows "strict agile principles" says our leader to any outsiders unfortunate enough to ask about our processes and get a response. Previously we were a self-guided waterfall group which transformed from a ten million dollar company that was eventually bought by an enterprise. Present day, we have added a few more heads; one of which is a "senior" who is baffled by things like string.Format, generics and well most any other concepts beyond Hello-world and IDE features, but he's got 20+ years experience... he didn't get fizz-buzzed or any coding interview btw. But I digress. Now our process is "agile". And by "agile" I mean we subscribe to the following practices: - Sprints vary from 1-6 weeks and are as predictable as the weather on Jupiter - User Stories? I hear the term often, but the team has never actually seen one - Estimation and Planning, we do this sporadically but it has been a while since the last one - Tasks are added to the sprint EVERY day - Need clarification/details on tasks like "Implement Security" and "Improve Performance", ask the product owner - Have concerns about a feature or edict that would be construed as a bad practice or horrible UI layout, take it up with the product owner - There is no official product owner and the tasks above typically come from the leaders or their suboordinates - Retrospectives, i think we've had one of those. - Backlog grooming, thats where you add more tasks right? - Conversations like this happen often: Mgmt: We need to implement feature Y for the release we scheduled 45 days from now (based on no estimates btw) Dev: You told me feature X was priority. We spec'ed out feature X so we could deliver a finished product in 45 days. Which is a priority? Mgmt: Both... (along with a WTF are you asking expression) Dev: Lets assume feature Y takes the same time we think X will. Thats 90 days. You want that in 45 days? Mgmt: Yes, you guys are sharp. You're a great, talented group; you'll figure it out (<- Leadership training) Dev: Talent aside, time is time... where are we going to squeeze this extra stuff in? Mgmt: Wherever you can. Theres always nights and weekends right? - Theres a graph that tracks the burndown for tasks to the end of the sprint. Mgmt is concerned about why it always trends upward and never down. Perhaps its a bug in TFS. Solution: don't estimate something until you start working on it... I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wond

                                      D Offline
                                      D Offline
                                      Daniel R Przybylski
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #38

                                      Yeah, it reminds of a few interviews where when I ask them to describe their agile process, they say, well, we have a weekly staff meeting that lasts about an hour and a half, but we call it a scrum so therefore we're agile, (right?)

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • J jeeves77

                                        I think I work in an environment teetering on the edge of toxicity. Our shop follows "strict agile principles" says our leader to any outsiders unfortunate enough to ask about our processes and get a response. Previously we were a self-guided waterfall group which transformed from a ten million dollar company that was eventually bought by an enterprise. Present day, we have added a few more heads; one of which is a "senior" who is baffled by things like string.Format, generics and well most any other concepts beyond Hello-world and IDE features, but he's got 20+ years experience... he didn't get fizz-buzzed or any coding interview btw. But I digress. Now our process is "agile". And by "agile" I mean we subscribe to the following practices: - Sprints vary from 1-6 weeks and are as predictable as the weather on Jupiter - User Stories? I hear the term often, but the team has never actually seen one - Estimation and Planning, we do this sporadically but it has been a while since the last one - Tasks are added to the sprint EVERY day - Need clarification/details on tasks like "Implement Security" and "Improve Performance", ask the product owner - Have concerns about a feature or edict that would be construed as a bad practice or horrible UI layout, take it up with the product owner - There is no official product owner and the tasks above typically come from the leaders or their suboordinates - Retrospectives, i think we've had one of those. - Backlog grooming, thats where you add more tasks right? - Conversations like this happen often: Mgmt: We need to implement feature Y for the release we scheduled 45 days from now (based on no estimates btw) Dev: You told me feature X was priority. We spec'ed out feature X so we could deliver a finished product in 45 days. Which is a priority? Mgmt: Both... (along with a WTF are you asking expression) Dev: Lets assume feature Y takes the same time we think X will. Thats 90 days. You want that in 45 days? Mgmt: Yes, you guys are sharp. You're a great, talented group; you'll figure it out (<- Leadership training) Dev: Talent aside, time is time... where are we going to squeeze this extra stuff in? Mgmt: Wherever you can. Theres always nights and weekends right? - Theres a graph that tracks the burndown for tasks to the end of the sprint. Mgmt is concerned about why it always trends upward and never down. Perhaps its a bug in TFS. Solution: don't estimate something until you start working on it... I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wond

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                                        jerhun
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #39

                                        Do you work with me by any chance? :)

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                                        • C Charles T Blankenship

                                          It could be MUCH worse. You could not have a job at all, like myself ... but I'm not here for a sympathy party. I've occupied positions of management as well as positions of programmer (in all various forms). When in a programming position (the nature of which was senior enough to allow me to actually communicate with "management") I took the position of educator. You see, people can become management, usually, not so much because of skill, but because of perseverance. In effect, they were so insecure with their capabilities that when their previous boss finally said "WTF", realized he/she could get a better job somewhere else, and told the current company to FOAD, it is possible that his blooming idiot of a mentor actually made it into management. (Obviously, this is a hypothetical situation ... but it has happened to me several times ... with a couple of different outcomes). In any event, if you ever want to dethrone your resident idiot (RI), you need proof. Therefore, you too must embrace the role of educator. First, every time you talk to the RI and he/she (IT) publicly proclaims their idiocy, make a note of it (or multiple its). Then, in your spare time, (usually on weekends or Holidays ;-), write an article that first, documents the fact that IT said what IT said and then describe, with references, why IT is misinformed ... most importantly, document why this particular misconception is hurting your team's productivity and thereby the profitability of the company). With the last being the most salient point. Remember, your actual audience, is the RI's BOSS. Therefore, you cannot speak too much tech ... but enough to illustrate that the RI is actually an RI. Keep the NATURE of this documentation a TOTAL secret. Communicate only with the RI, via email, with the express understanding that you are trying to HELP IT. However, never forget, you are in a hostile environment. You may think you have friends but there is always that one, insecure "helmut head", that is looking to make his/her way into your position via your decaying corpse. Don't give them any ammunition with which they can expedite your demise. There are two possible outcomes: 1) Your RI is not really an RI at all ... they will take your advice, incorporate it into their management style and graduate from RI to the BEST friend you will EVER have in management. Not to mention, you will have the beginnings of a great tutorial to be used by the next IT hiring on-board. 2) Your RI is really a "BIG"

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                                          jerhun
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #40

                                          excellent point. At the time I am reading this I am contemplating if I should jump ship in a similar situation. Your comments are weighing heavily as to whether this is the right thing to do. I will weigh any incoming offers on their merit and not on how jacked up my current process is, and I will make a wiser choice. Thanks.

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