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  3. Bacon Good For You, Reports Best Scientist Ever

Bacon Good For You, Reports Best Scientist Ever

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  • N Offline
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    Nagy Vilmos
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    The Onion[^]:

    ROCHESTER, MN—Bacon, long believed to contribute to heart disease and obesity, possesses significant health benefits, according to a study released Monday by Dr. Albert Gruber, the best scientist ever. "My research has found that three strips of crispy, mouthwatering bacon every morning can actually reduce cholesterol and help slow the aging process," the awesome Gruber said. "What's more, the bacon's positive effects are enhanced when combined with milk shakes and/or marijuana." In 1997, Gruber, a Mayo Clinic cardiologist, was awarded nine Nobel Prizes in Medicine for discovering that frequent oral sex with models cures cancer

    Shame it's a parody :-D

    G B J W 4 Replies Last reply
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    • N Nagy Vilmos

      The Onion[^]:

      ROCHESTER, MN—Bacon, long believed to contribute to heart disease and obesity, possesses significant health benefits, according to a study released Monday by Dr. Albert Gruber, the best scientist ever. "My research has found that three strips of crispy, mouthwatering bacon every morning can actually reduce cholesterol and help slow the aging process," the awesome Gruber said. "What's more, the bacon's positive effects are enhanced when combined with milk shakes and/or marijuana." In 1997, Gruber, a Mayo Clinic cardiologist, was awarded nine Nobel Prizes in Medicine for discovering that frequent oral sex with models cures cancer

      Shame it's a parody :-D

      G Offline
      G Offline
      glennPattonWork3
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Why is when a serious name is needed they tend to go for Gruber, I immediatelythink dodgy Die Hard villians...

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      • N Nagy Vilmos

        The Onion[^]:

        ROCHESTER, MN—Bacon, long believed to contribute to heart disease and obesity, possesses significant health benefits, according to a study released Monday by Dr. Albert Gruber, the best scientist ever. "My research has found that three strips of crispy, mouthwatering bacon every morning can actually reduce cholesterol and help slow the aging process," the awesome Gruber said. "What's more, the bacon's positive effects are enhanced when combined with milk shakes and/or marijuana." In 1997, Gruber, a Mayo Clinic cardiologist, was awarded nine Nobel Prizes in Medicine for discovering that frequent oral sex with models cures cancer

        Shame it's a parody :-D

        B Offline
        B Offline
        Bassam Abdul Baki
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Perfect name for a clinic that deals with oral sex.

        Web - BM - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

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        • G glennPattonWork3

          Why is when a serious name is needed they tend to go for Gruber, I immediatelythink dodgy Die Hard villians...

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          Ian Shlasko
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Hey, don't mess with Alan Rickman... He's British.

          Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
          Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

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          • I Ian Shlasko

            Hey, don't mess with Alan Rickman... He's British.

            Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
            Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

            G Offline
            G Offline
            glennPattonWork3
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Dude, I am not messing with the Dude, just can't the Yanks cast another nationality as the bad guys once in a while...like getting an actual German to play a German...

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            • G glennPattonWork3

              Dude, I am not messing with the Dude, just can't the Yanks cast another nationality as the bad guys once in a while...like getting an actual German to play a German...

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              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              glennPattonPUB wrote:

              Dude, I am not messing with the Dude, just can't the Yanks cast another nationality as the bad guys once in a while...like getting an actual German to play a German...

              Americans love British villains because they like the idea of sophisticated villains. To the American ear a British accent sounds very sophisticated. Trust me, it is a compliment. Some dope with a southern drawl saying, "But I gots the nucklar device mister bond" wouldn't sell tickets. You cannot have a bad guy who sounds as if he'd trade his death beam laser for a pair of tickets to a mud wrestling competition. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to explain American to the British folks. Sheesh.

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              • L Lost User

                glennPattonPUB wrote:

                Dude, I am not messing with the Dude, just can't the Yanks cast another nationality as the bad guys once in a while...like getting an actual German to play a German...

                Americans love British villains because they like the idea of sophisticated villains. To the American ear a British accent sounds very sophisticated. Trust me, it is a compliment. Some dope with a southern drawl saying, "But I gots the nucklar device mister bond" wouldn't sell tickets. You cannot have a bad guy who sounds as if he'd trade his death beam laser for a pair of tickets to a mud wrestling competition. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to explain American to the British folks. Sheesh.

                G Offline
                G Offline
                glennPattonWork3
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                The worst bit of it is very few people in the UK speak with the cut glass accent that is associate with it, I have a cousin in Devon when he speak you start looking for the subtitle option as he is hard to understand! :rolleyes: Also at the moment we have Jaguar adverts that basically say the same thing.

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                • G glennPattonWork3

                  The worst bit of it is very few people in the UK speak with the cut glass accent that is associate with it, I have a cousin in Devon when he speak you start looking for the subtitle option as he is hard to understand! :rolleyes: Also at the moment we have Jaguar adverts that basically say the same thing.

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                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  So you're complaining about a stereotype that paints your people as well spoken and intelligent? You've just confirmed nearly every British stereotype that we have over here. :-D

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                  • L Lost User

                    So you're complaining about a stereotype that paints your people as well spoken and intelligent? You've just confirmed nearly every British stereotype that we have over here. :-D

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                    G Offline
                    glennPattonWork3
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Quote:

                    paints your people as well spoken and intelligent?

                    :wtf: I point the honorable gentleman to the posts of Mr Vilmos. The UK is not that refined if in doubt you're more than welcome to accompany myself and a group of associates to a night in Bristol (Curry, Lager, Booze(?)and passing out, no fighting we are the refined ones)...

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                    • G glennPattonWork3

                      Quote:

                      paints your people as well spoken and intelligent?

                      :wtf: I point the honorable gentleman to the posts of Mr Vilmos. The UK is not that refined if in doubt you're more than welcome to accompany myself and a group of associates to a night in Bristol (Curry, Lager, Booze(?)and passing out, no fighting we are the refined ones)...

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      I did say the intelligent and refined stuff was a stereotype, did I not? :-D

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                      • L Lost User

                        I did say the intelligent and refined stuff was a stereotype, did I not? :-D

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                        G Offline
                        glennPattonWork3
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Point!

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • L Lost User

                          glennPattonPUB wrote:

                          Dude, I am not messing with the Dude, just can't the Yanks cast another nationality as the bad guys once in a while...like getting an actual German to play a German...

                          Americans love British villains because they like the idea of sophisticated villains. To the American ear a British accent sounds very sophisticated. Trust me, it is a compliment. Some dope with a southern drawl saying, "But I gots the nucklar device mister bond" wouldn't sell tickets. You cannot have a bad guy who sounds as if he'd trade his death beam laser for a pair of tickets to a mud wrestling competition. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to explain American to the British folks. Sheesh.

                          J Offline
                          J Offline
                          Jorgen Andersson
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          MehGerbil wrote:

                          Some dope with a southern drawl saying, "But I gots the nucklar device mister bond" wouldn't sell tickets.

                          Enter the banjos. :)

                          Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello

                          S 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • N Nagy Vilmos

                            The Onion[^]:

                            ROCHESTER, MN—Bacon, long believed to contribute to heart disease and obesity, possesses significant health benefits, according to a study released Monday by Dr. Albert Gruber, the best scientist ever. "My research has found that three strips of crispy, mouthwatering bacon every morning can actually reduce cholesterol and help slow the aging process," the awesome Gruber said. "What's more, the bacon's positive effects are enhanced when combined with milk shakes and/or marijuana." In 1997, Gruber, a Mayo Clinic cardiologist, was awarded nine Nobel Prizes in Medicine for discovering that frequent oral sex with models cures cancer

                            Shame it's a parody :-D

                            J Offline
                            J Offline
                            Jorgen Andersson
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                            Shame it's a parody

                            Says who? :rolleyes:

                            Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • G glennPattonWork3

                              Dude, I am not messing with the Dude, just can't the Yanks cast another nationality as the bad guys once in a while...like getting an actual German to play a German...

                              I Offline
                              I Offline
                              Ian Shlasko
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              glennPattonPUB wrote:

                              Dude, I am not messing with the Dude

                              Wait, what does Jeff Bridges have to do with this? He's not a Brit.

                              Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                              Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

                              N 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • N Nagy Vilmos

                                The Onion[^]:

                                ROCHESTER, MN—Bacon, long believed to contribute to heart disease and obesity, possesses significant health benefits, according to a study released Monday by Dr. Albert Gruber, the best scientist ever. "My research has found that three strips of crispy, mouthwatering bacon every morning can actually reduce cholesterol and help slow the aging process," the awesome Gruber said. "What's more, the bacon's positive effects are enhanced when combined with milk shakes and/or marijuana." In 1997, Gruber, a Mayo Clinic cardiologist, was awarded nine Nobel Prizes in Medicine for discovering that frequent oral sex with models cures cancer

                                Shame it's a parody :-D

                                W Offline
                                W Offline
                                W Balboos GHB
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Ah, yes - I believe that particular physician got his instruction at the same fine medical school as this one: Turn Your Head And Cough On This Link^

                                "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                                "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert

                                "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • G glennPattonWork3

                                  Dude, I am not messing with the Dude, just can't the Yanks cast another nationality as the bad guys once in a while...like getting an actual German to play a German...

                                  W Offline
                                  W Offline
                                  W Balboos GHB
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Oye, lad: when the shoe fits, wear it.

                                  "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                                  "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert

                                  "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                                  G 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • W W Balboos GHB

                                    Oye, lad: when the shoe fits, wear it.

                                    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                                    "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert

                                    "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                                    G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    glennPattonWork3
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    If you are referring to the Devonian I mentioned try 'Clarin darwn t'road chopsin' or to put it in English 'Walking down the road talking' hence the need for subtitles...

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • G glennPattonWork3

                                      Quote:

                                      paints your people as well spoken and intelligent?

                                      :wtf: I point the honorable gentleman to the posts of Mr Vilmos. The UK is not that refined if in doubt you're more than welcome to accompany myself and a group of associates to a night in Bristol (Curry, Lager, Booze(?)and passing out, no fighting we are the refined ones)...

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      PhilLenoir
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      I think that you're missing the point: It's not just the "BBC" accent, it's any English accent. I'm hardly yer well spoken toff, but I once had a woman in a coffee shop ask me to place her order for her because "just loved my accent". My son quickly learned that picking up the Canadian drawl was a bird-pulling faux pas. My wife's office colleagues used to crowd at her door when she was berating a supplier or delinquent customer because they couldn't get over hearing a Brit swear. She has a devastating technique for Canadians, she speaks quietly, exactly and forcibly only dropping a rare F bomb at exactly the right moment to convey menace. I know I'm speaking of Canada, but I understand that the natives south of the border have it nearly as bad. Cor blimey, luv-a-duck who knew?

                                      Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

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                                      • P PhilLenoir

                                        I think that you're missing the point: It's not just the "BBC" accent, it's any English accent. I'm hardly yer well spoken toff, but I once had a woman in a coffee shop ask me to place her order for her because "just loved my accent". My son quickly learned that picking up the Canadian drawl was a bird-pulling faux pas. My wife's office colleagues used to crowd at her door when she was berating a supplier or delinquent customer because they couldn't get over hearing a Brit swear. She has a devastating technique for Canadians, she speaks quietly, exactly and forcibly only dropping a rare F bomb at exactly the right moment to convey menace. I know I'm speaking of Canada, but I understand that the natives south of the border have it nearly as bad. Cor blimey, luv-a-duck who knew?

                                        Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                                        G Offline
                                        G Offline
                                        glennPattonWork3
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Ah yes, from my dealings with your friends over the boarder speak slowly, quietly and you can get them to agree to anything. It's just the BBC accent is an oddity, anyone in films or TV shows with it gets to be either a villain or Sherlock Holmes...

                                        P 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • J Jorgen Andersson

                                          MehGerbil wrote:

                                          Some dope with a southern drawl saying, "But I gots the nucklar device mister bond" wouldn't sell tickets.

                                          Enter the banjos. :)

                                          Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello

                                          S Offline
                                          S Offline
                                          SortaCore
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Jörgen Andersson wrote:

                                          Enter the banjos. :)

                                          Dramatic banjos. :laugh:

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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