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The Programmer's Oath

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  • K Kent Sharkey

    Clean Coder[^]:

    In order to defend and preserve the honor of the profession of computer programmers...

    Eh. Worked on my machine.

    T Offline
    T Offline
    TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Rinse and repeat.

    Decrease the belief in God, and you increase the numbers of those who wish to play at being God by being “society’s supervisors,” who deny the existence of divine standards, but are very serious about imposing their own standards on society.-Neal A. Maxwell You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun

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    • K Kent Sharkey

      Clean Coder[^]:

      In order to defend and preserve the honor of the profession of computer programmers...

      Eh. Worked on my machine.

      M Offline
      M Offline
      Marc Clifton
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

      Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

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      • M Marc Clifton

        My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

        Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

        V Offline
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        vinclaro001
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Amen.

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        • M Marc Clifton

          My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

          Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

          K Offline
          K Offline
          Kent Sharkey
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          :thumbsup: I like yours better than his, except maybe the first one. My life is JavaScript these days.

          TTFN - Kent

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          • K Kent Sharkey

            :thumbsup: I like yours better than his, except maybe the first one. My life is JavaScript these days.

            TTFN - Kent

            M Offline
            M Offline
            Marc Clifton
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            Kent Sharkey wrote:

            My life is JavaScript these days.

            Javascript is the exception because you just have to code in it to do web stuff. But actually choosing to use Ruby, Python, or PHP? Ugh. However, choosing to use Javascript with node.js is another WTF for me. To the tune in Rocky Horror...I'm just a sweet anachronistic anarchist. ;) Marc

            Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

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            • K Kent Sharkey

              Clean Coder[^]:

              In order to defend and preserve the honor of the profession of computer programmers...

              Eh. Worked on my machine.

              A Offline
              A Offline
              Amarnath S
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              I will not use if - else statements to make my code work differently in test and production modes.

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              • M Marc Clifton

                My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

                Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

                B Offline
                B Offline
                BillWoodruff
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                Yowza, what you said, Brother !

                «I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut.

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                • K Kent Sharkey

                  Clean Coder[^]:

                  In order to defend and preserve the honor of the profession of computer programmers...

                  Eh. Worked on my machine.

                  B Offline
                  B Offline
                  BillWoodruff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  Well, I vote for Marc's version of the oath(s). But, if I had to add one additional "commandment" to the impossible-to-attain-ideals set forth in the linked-to article: 10. I vow to do whatever it takes to make sure I am fully compensated, my person and intellectual property rights are treated with respect, and that I am paid on time.

                  «I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut.

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                  • A Amarnath S

                    I will not use if - else statements to make my code work differently in test and production modes.

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                    P Offline
                    PIEBALDconsult
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    Doesn't that also prohibit using mock objects in testing?

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                    • P PIEBALDconsult

                      Doesn't that also prohibit using mock objects in testing?

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                      Amarnath S
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      No, does not prohibit that. Should have added: '... and thereby be the cause for penalties worth billions of Euros'. Because, the ultimate blame for this recent emission test fiasco fell on a couple of 'software engineers', aka programmers.

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                      • M Marc Clifton

                        My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

                        Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

                        D Offline
                        D Offline
                        den2k88
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        Damn I finished the space in the signature. I'll have to put this in my bio.

                        GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++*      Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver "When you have eliminated the JavaScript, whatever remains must be an empty page." -- Mike Hankey "just eat it, eat it"."They're out to mold, better eat while you can" -- HobbyProggy

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                        • A Amarnath S

                          No, does not prohibit that. Should have added: '... and thereby be the cause for penalties worth billions of Euros'. Because, the ultimate blame for this recent emission test fiasco fell on a couple of 'software engineers', aka programmers.

                          N Offline
                          N Offline
                          Nelek
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          Avijnata wrote:

                          this recent emission test fiasco fell on a couple of 'software engineers', aka programmers.

                          Logical, they not have the $$$ of the managers to buy allibies ;P

                          M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

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                          • M Marc Clifton

                            My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

                            Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

                            N Offline
                            N Offline
                            newton saber
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            Marc Clifton wrote:

                            I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills.

                            :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

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