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The Programmer's Oath

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  • M Marc Clifton

    My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

    Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

    K Offline
    K Offline
    Kent Sharkey
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    :thumbsup: I like yours better than his, except maybe the first one. My life is JavaScript these days.

    TTFN - Kent

    M 1 Reply Last reply
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    • K Kent Sharkey

      :thumbsup: I like yours better than his, except maybe the first one. My life is JavaScript these days.

      TTFN - Kent

      M Offline
      M Offline
      Marc Clifton
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      Kent Sharkey wrote:

      My life is JavaScript these days.

      Javascript is the exception because you just have to code in it to do web stuff. But actually choosing to use Ruby, Python, or PHP? Ugh. However, choosing to use Javascript with node.js is another WTF for me. To the tune in Rocky Horror...I'm just a sweet anachronistic anarchist. ;) Marc

      Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • K Kent Sharkey

        Clean Coder[^]:

        In order to defend and preserve the honor of the profession of computer programmers...

        Eh. Worked on my machine.

        A Offline
        A Offline
        Amarnath S
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        I will not use if - else statements to make my code work differently in test and production modes.

        P 1 Reply Last reply
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        • M Marc Clifton

          My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

          Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

          B Offline
          B Offline
          BillWoodruff
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          Yowza, what you said, Brother !

          «I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • K Kent Sharkey

            Clean Coder[^]:

            In order to defend and preserve the honor of the profession of computer programmers...

            Eh. Worked on my machine.

            B Offline
            B Offline
            BillWoodruff
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            Well, I vote for Marc's version of the oath(s). But, if I had to add one additional "commandment" to the impossible-to-attain-ideals set forth in the linked-to article: 10. I vow to do whatever it takes to make sure I am fully compensated, my person and intellectual property rights are treated with respect, and that I am paid on time.

            «I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut.

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            • A Amarnath S

              I will not use if - else statements to make my code work differently in test and production modes.

              P Offline
              P Offline
              PIEBALDconsult
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              Doesn't that also prohibit using mock objects in testing?

              A 1 Reply Last reply
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              • P PIEBALDconsult

                Doesn't that also prohibit using mock objects in testing?

                A Offline
                A Offline
                Amarnath S
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                No, does not prohibit that. Should have added: '... and thereby be the cause for penalties worth billions of Euros'. Because, the ultimate blame for this recent emission test fiasco fell on a couple of 'software engineers', aka programmers.

                N 1 Reply Last reply
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                • M Marc Clifton

                  My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

                  Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

                  D Offline
                  D Offline
                  den2k88
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  Damn I finished the space in the signature. I'll have to put this in my bio.

                  GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++*      Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver "When you have eliminated the JavaScript, whatever remains must be an empty page." -- Mike Hankey "just eat it, eat it"."They're out to mold, better eat while you can" -- HobbyProggy

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                  • A Amarnath S

                    No, does not prohibit that. Should have added: '... and thereby be the cause for penalties worth billions of Euros'. Because, the ultimate blame for this recent emission test fiasco fell on a couple of 'software engineers', aka programmers.

                    N Offline
                    N Offline
                    Nelek
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    Avijnata wrote:

                    this recent emission test fiasco fell on a couple of 'software engineers', aka programmers.

                    Logical, they not have the $$$ of the managers to buy allibies ;P

                    M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

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                    • M Marc Clifton

                      My programmer's oath: 1. I will work not work with Ruby or other duck-typed, runtime-typed, or "script kiddie" languages. 2. I will not work with people that work with #1 3. I will code when my brain feels like coding, I will not code on YOUR timeframe 4. I will not work in a cubicle. 5. I will not put up with shitty equipment and stupid management decisions 6. I will write code that is maintainable, extensible, commented, and documented, no matter what management says. 7. I will spend time testing my code, but YOU damn well better have a people, resources, and the commitment to test my code independent of me. 8. I will write code using my own well thought out architecture, not some fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants Agile methodology bullshit. 9. I will not waste my valuable time learning some half-ass open source latest rage just because every other idiot says it's the latest rage. 10. I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills. So yeah, there you go. Marc

                      Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!

                      N Offline
                      N Offline
                      newton saber
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      Marc Clifton wrote:

                      I will always have time to work on my own stuff because frankly, it's usually more interesting than the crap project I'm working on that actually pays the bills.

                      :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

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