Why are cats so stupid ?
-
Why do humans parachute or bungee jump ? ;P And do cats buy human food ? :laugh: Elaine (feline sympathetic fluffy tigress) The tigress is here :-D
Trollslayer wrote: And do cats buy human food ? Any why cant you buy mice flavoured cat food? :confused:
Off to in ~57 days
-
Did you know that cats have a suicidal tendency? Cats always cross the road in the last second before the car passes... never noticed? You drive along a straight road, you see this cat sitting safely on the side of road, you come closer and closer, the cat doesn't move, then when you are really getting close, the cat gets nervous, and in the very last second it somehow has the impression it could be safer on the other side on the road and JUMP - it crosses the road and nearly gets squeezed under your wheels... And its always like that... It think this is a serious bug in the defendency & security module of the cat-OS.
All I know is that as soon as I woke this morning, there were cats meowing for food (my wife is away at the moment). As I hurried to get ready, I had to "make them breakfast" and get showered etc. This all led to me having to miss my own breakfast and having to make do with some cold toast from our staff canteen (though their coffee is much nicer than mine). To add insult to injury, a cat came to the window to watch me drive off (to go and earn more money for their food), well only one did (just to make sure I'd gone), the others had all found themselves a sunbeam to lie in by then. So I missed my breakfast but they got theirs. I had to go out to work while they slept all day. Who's stupid? :) "The folly of man is that he dreams of what he can never achieve rather than dream of what he can." "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
-
All I know is that as soon as I woke this morning, there were cats meowing for food (my wife is away at the moment). As I hurried to get ready, I had to "make them breakfast" and get showered etc. This all led to me having to miss my own breakfast and having to make do with some cold toast from our staff canteen (though their coffee is much nicer than mine). To add insult to injury, a cat came to the window to watch me drive off (to go and earn more money for their food), well only one did (just to make sure I'd gone), the others had all found themselves a sunbeam to lie in by then. So I missed my breakfast but they got theirs. I had to go out to work while they slept all day. Who's stupid? :) "The folly of man is that he dreams of what he can never achieve rather than dream of what he can." "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
phykell wrote: Who's stupid? Those who missed out flirting with the hot chicks in the office.
Regards,Rohit Sinha
...celebrating Indian spirit and Cricket. 8MB video, really cool!
-
phykell wrote: Who's stupid? Those who missed out flirting with the hot chicks in the office.
Regards,Rohit Sinha
...celebrating Indian spirit and Cricket. 8MB video, really cool!
-
Rohit Sinha wrote: Those who missed out flirting with the hot chicks in the office. :confused: "The folly of man is that he dreams of what he can never achieve rather than dream of what he can." "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
phykell wrote: :confused: Arrgh, I think I should stick to my day job and not try to crack jokes no one understands. :) What I meant was: You go to the office and flirt with the hot chicks there (assuming you do :-D ). The cats don't. So it's them who's stupid.
Regards,Rohit Sinha
...celebrating Indian spirit and Cricket. 8MB video, really cool!
-
Did you know that cats have a suicidal tendency? Cats always cross the road in the last second before the car passes... never noticed? You drive along a straight road, you see this cat sitting safely on the side of road, you come closer and closer, the cat doesn't move, then when you are really getting close, the cat gets nervous, and in the very last second it somehow has the impression it could be safer on the other side on the road and JUMP - it crosses the road and nearly gets squeezed under your wheels... And its always like that... It think this is a serious bug in the defendency & security module of the cat-OS.
So i'm skating through the marsh behind my house last night, and decide to take the route through the industrial park going back. Pausing to rest at the top of a bridge under which 6 train tracks ran, i watched 5 deer making their way out from the marsh. Cautiously, they walked over to a junction two tracks from my right, and began to eat something. Although too far away to see clearly, they were lit from above by the trainyard lights and the moon, so i could watch them without loosing track of their position. After a while, a freight train rumbled past below me, about three tracks to the left of the group of deer. All but one of them jumped and ran left, jumping right in ahead of the speeding train. Deer are so stupid... :rolleyes:
S • H • O • G • N • I • N • E
I can't believe it... the way you look sometimes. And i don't want it... the things you're offering me.
-
No, this is not stupidity, it's in for backward compatibility. Cats can kill misbehaving owners roommates passing in front of their feet on top of a high flight of stairs, making them stumble, then tumble. As a sufficiently steep flight of stairs is not always available, and medium to full effect is possible even in the absence of stairs, we implemented a quasirandom-but-fair-to-all trip trigger scheduling scheme. This feature is retained from times where neither the Road nor Car world extensions was available. The trip trigger is set to react on "large misbehaving and moving". Further detailing this would require a complete rewrite of the object detection core. The guy who wrote the original object detection core got lost somewhere in the Egypt timeframe. We tried to make some adjustments later, mainly due to the increased human-induced selective lethality of cats in the dark ages, and of course later with the increased demand for pet-cat applicances. However, the necessary adjustments we made led to certain side effects, such as dog noses and human legs to be tagged as "clawCare.Scratchable". We believe that the current implementation is, despite it's side effects, far superior to other aminal OS implementations. To reduce problems with the feat you mention we recommend as solution to a) keep the cat lightweight and agile, and/or b) keep the cat away from roads. Both are easily accomplished; If you require a certain cat mass it is recommended to plit the required mass onto two or more units. Keeping cats away from roads is easily accomplished by a relocation of the cat base statin. More info can be found in FAQ 134 - "surviving relocation". Thank you for choosing CatOS!
"Der Geist des Kriegers ist erwacht / Ich hab die Macht" StS
sighist | Agile Programming | doxygenOnly someone who has been owned by a cat could have created this... LMAO! :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
Software Zen:
delete this; -
Why do humans parachute or bungee jump ? ;P And do cats buy human food ? :laugh: Elaine (feline sympathetic fluffy tigress) The tigress is here :-D
Trollslayer wrote: feline sympathetic fluffy tigress Well, duh... :-D
Software Zen:
delete this; -
So i'm skating through the marsh behind my house last night, and decide to take the route through the industrial park going back. Pausing to rest at the top of a bridge under which 6 train tracks ran, i watched 5 deer making their way out from the marsh. Cautiously, they walked over to a junction two tracks from my right, and began to eat something. Although too far away to see clearly, they were lit from above by the trainyard lights and the moon, so i could watch them without loosing track of their position. After a while, a freight train rumbled past below me, about three tracks to the left of the group of deer. All but one of them jumped and ran left, jumping right in ahead of the speeding train. Deer are so stupid... :rolleyes:
S • H • O • G • N • I • N • E
I can't believe it... the way you look sometimes. And i don't want it... the things you're offering me.
Shog9 wrote: All but one of them jumped and ran left, jumping right in ahead of the speeding train. Guess which one qualifies for evolution. :~
Off to in ~57 days
-
phykell wrote: :confused: Arrgh, I think I should stick to my day job and not try to crack jokes no one understands. :) What I meant was: You go to the office and flirt with the hot chicks there (assuming you do :-D ). The cats don't. So it's them who's stupid.
Regards,Rohit Sinha
...celebrating Indian spirit and Cricket. 8MB video, really cool!
<male_cat_thinking>
- Hot chicks? Unless they're in heat, I ain't interested.
- Job? That's what I've got you here for, bud.
- Wait a second. They cut those off some time ago...
</male_cat_thinking>
Software Zen:
delete this; -
<male_cat_thinking>
- Hot chicks? Unless they're in heat, I ain't interested.
- Job? That's what I've got you here for, bud.
- Wait a second. They cut those off some time ago...
</male_cat_thinking>
Software Zen:
delete this;Gary Wheeler wrote: They cut those off some time ago... Cut what off? :eek:
Regards,Rohit Sinha
...celebrating Indian spirit and Cricket. 8MB video, really cool!
-
Gary Wheeler wrote: They cut those off some time ago... Cut what off? :eek:
Regards,Rohit Sinha
...celebrating Indian spirit and Cricket. 8MB video, really cool!
Their testicles. If you're a reputable cat owner, and you want to keep the stray cat population down, you have your cats neutered if they're male, or spayed if they are female. During neutering, the veterinarian removes the cat's testicles. This has the effect of making him (and I use the term loosely) sterile and less likely to pee on things. Spaying is the corresponding surgery for female cats, except it's more akin to a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus).
Software Zen:
delete this; -
Gary Wheeler wrote: They cut those off some time ago... Cut what off? :eek:
Regards,Rohit Sinha
...celebrating Indian spirit and Cricket. 8MB video, really cool!
Rohit Sinha wrote: Cut what off? Before: Cat: "Hey baby, d'ya wanna lay down with me? Hey baby, d'ya wanna lay down by my side?" After: Cat: "Hey boyth - letth go play with thum yarn!" yes, that's right - his teeth.
S • H • O • G • N • I • N • E
I can't believe it... the way you look sometimes. And i don't want it... the things you're offering me.
-
Their testicles. If you're a reputable cat owner, and you want to keep the stray cat population down, you have your cats neutered if they're male, or spayed if they are female. During neutering, the veterinarian removes the cat's testicles. This has the effect of making him (and I use the term loosely) sterile and less likely to pee on things. Spaying is the corresponding surgery for female cats, except it's more akin to a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus).
Software Zen:
delete this;Wow, I didn't know all that. Serious? I suppose you are. What kind of cruelty is this? X|
Regards,Rohit Sinha
...celebrating Indian spirit and Cricket. 8MB video, really cool!
-
Andreas Saurwein wrote: You mean they "where". :confused: were? ware? where? :confused: :rolleyes:
Olli Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot......
:suss: :rolleyes: :suss:Olli wrote: were? ware? where i think he means that this cat has run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile. :cool: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Memory leaks is the price we pay \0 01234567890123456789012345678901234
-
Rohit Sinha wrote: Cut what off? Before: Cat: "Hey baby, d'ya wanna lay down with me? Hey baby, d'ya wanna lay down by my side?" After: Cat: "Hey boyth - letth go play with thum yarn!" yes, that's right - his teeth.
S • H • O • G • N • I • N • E
I can't believe it... the way you look sometimes. And i don't want it... the things you're offering me.
-
No, this is not stupidity, it's in for backward compatibility. Cats can kill misbehaving owners roommates passing in front of their feet on top of a high flight of stairs, making them stumble, then tumble. As a sufficiently steep flight of stairs is not always available, and medium to full effect is possible even in the absence of stairs, we implemented a quasirandom-but-fair-to-all trip trigger scheduling scheme. This feature is retained from times where neither the Road nor Car world extensions was available. The trip trigger is set to react on "large misbehaving and moving". Further detailing this would require a complete rewrite of the object detection core. The guy who wrote the original object detection core got lost somewhere in the Egypt timeframe. We tried to make some adjustments later, mainly due to the increased human-induced selective lethality of cats in the dark ages, and of course later with the increased demand for pet-cat applicances. However, the necessary adjustments we made led to certain side effects, such as dog noses and human legs to be tagged as "clawCare.Scratchable". We believe that the current implementation is, despite it's side effects, far superior to other aminal OS implementations. To reduce problems with the feat you mention we recommend as solution to a) keep the cat lightweight and agile, and/or b) keep the cat away from roads. Both are easily accomplished; If you require a certain cat mass it is recommended to plit the required mass onto two or more units. Keeping cats away from roads is easily accomplished by a relocation of the cat base statin. More info can be found in FAQ 134 - "surviving relocation". Thank you for choosing CatOS!
"Der Geist des Kriegers ist erwacht / Ich hab die Macht" StS
sighist | Agile Programming | doxygen -
All I know is that as soon as I woke this morning, there were cats meowing for food (my wife is away at the moment). As I hurried to get ready, I had to "make them breakfast" and get showered etc. This all led to me having to miss my own breakfast and having to make do with some cold toast from our staff canteen (though their coffee is much nicer than mine). To add insult to injury, a cat came to the window to watch me drive off (to go and earn more money for their food), well only one did (just to make sure I'd gone), the others had all found themselves a sunbeam to lie in by then. So I missed my breakfast but they got theirs. I had to go out to work while they slept all day. Who's stupid? :) "The folly of man is that he dreams of what he can never achieve rather than dream of what he can." "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
phykell wrote: to go and earn more money for their food Cats are food! Think ROI. Jeremy Falcon
-
Trollslayer wrote: And do cats buy human food ? Any why cant you buy mice flavoured cat food? :confused:
Off to in ~57 days
And why can't you buy cat-flavored dog food? It's not as if they're endangered or anything... "Please don't put cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light" - Sign in a Bullhead City, AZ Restroom
-
phykell wrote: to go and earn more money for their food Cats are food! Think ROI. Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote: Cats are food! Think ROI. With a nice Chianti and some Fava[*] beans? And there's 101 ways of skinning them! Iain. [*] Not that I know what they are...