BJOTD
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Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Twink. I woke up this morning with a huge correction. My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking........ And then I saw her face...... My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Beehive matches his little face lit up when he tried to walk… Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, the ungrateful bastards. All I said was, 'hurry up for Christ's sake ................ some of us have got homes to go to!' Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'what do you feel like for dinner my love ......... chicken, beef or lamb?' I said, ' chicken please' She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!'
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Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Twink. I woke up this morning with a huge correction. My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking........ And then I saw her face...... My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Beehive matches his little face lit up when he tried to walk… Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, the ungrateful bastards. All I said was, 'hurry up for Christ's sake ................ some of us have got homes to go to!' Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'what do you feel like for dinner my love ......... chicken, beef or lamb?' I said, ' chicken please' She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!'
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Yeah, I know that one too.. :sigh:
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time -
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Twink. I woke up this morning with a huge correction. My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking........ And then I saw her face...... My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Beehive matches his little face lit up when he tried to walk… Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, the ungrateful bastards. All I said was, 'hurry up for Christ's sake ................ some of us have got homes to go to!' Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'what do you feel like for dinner my love ......... chicken, beef or lamb?' I said, ' chicken please' She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!'
Where and when did you meet my grandfather?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
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