The Chaos Continues Unabated
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Qlikview server issues, sequence of events: 01/11 11:30 - Server drops off the network 01/11 11:35 - Notify admin that owns the IP that it dropped off the network 01/12 05:50 - Arrive at work, machine still not accessible, admin hasn't responded, so I submit help desk ticket 01/12 09:45 - Help desk responds, asking which port number the machine is on. Really? 01/12 13:50 - Two guys from NetOps comes up to my office to see what I'm talking about. What in the phrase "the IP does not respond to a ping request" causes confusion? They actually had to watch me do it. 01/13 05:55 - Arrive at work, machine still not on network, email from help desk saying the qlikview share admin (the same idiot I emailed two freakin days ago and as yet have received no response) is working on the issue with no ETA on restoration of access. 01/13 07:15 - A guy from the IT department calls to say he's got the work order to look at my ports and that he'd be upstairs before 10am. I told him that it's not a f*ckin port issue and not to bother coming upstairs. But he's got a work order, so he has to come up anyway. I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used. No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday... What a cluster f*ck.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013 -
Qlikview server issues, sequence of events: 01/11 11:30 - Server drops off the network 01/11 11:35 - Notify admin that owns the IP that it dropped off the network 01/12 05:50 - Arrive at work, machine still not accessible, admin hasn't responded, so I submit help desk ticket 01/12 09:45 - Help desk responds, asking which port number the machine is on. Really? 01/12 13:50 - Two guys from NetOps comes up to my office to see what I'm talking about. What in the phrase "the IP does not respond to a ping request" causes confusion? They actually had to watch me do it. 01/13 05:55 - Arrive at work, machine still not on network, email from help desk saying the qlikview share admin (the same idiot I emailed two freakin days ago and as yet have received no response) is working on the issue with no ETA on restoration of access. 01/13 07:15 - A guy from the IT department calls to say he's got the work order to look at my ports and that he'd be upstairs before 10am. I told him that it's not a f*ckin port issue and not to bother coming upstairs. But he's got a work order, so he has to come up anyway. I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used. No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday... What a cluster f*ck.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013As much as I feel your pain, try changing your wording. You stated, "the IP does not respond to a ping request"; the implication is that the PING port is open and not blocked by a firewall - we fight this battle every time we deploy a new server to the field. Rephrase it is, "I am unable to connect to the QlikView server, however, I am not having issues with other servers. I was previously able to connect to the QlikView server and, until such time as I can, I am unable to work productively." Also... have you informed your management directly of this issue? Presumably, others are using the QlikView server - have they informed their management?
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Qlikview server issues, sequence of events: 01/11 11:30 - Server drops off the network 01/11 11:35 - Notify admin that owns the IP that it dropped off the network 01/12 05:50 - Arrive at work, machine still not accessible, admin hasn't responded, so I submit help desk ticket 01/12 09:45 - Help desk responds, asking which port number the machine is on. Really? 01/12 13:50 - Two guys from NetOps comes up to my office to see what I'm talking about. What in the phrase "the IP does not respond to a ping request" causes confusion? They actually had to watch me do it. 01/13 05:55 - Arrive at work, machine still not on network, email from help desk saying the qlikview share admin (the same idiot I emailed two freakin days ago and as yet have received no response) is working on the issue with no ETA on restoration of access. 01/13 07:15 - A guy from the IT department calls to say he's got the work order to look at my ports and that he'd be upstairs before 10am. I told him that it's not a f*ckin port issue and not to bother coming upstairs. But he's got a work order, so he has to come up anyway. I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used. No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday... What a cluster f*ck.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday
Look on the bright side: you are getting paid - and well paid, I presume - to sit around and do exactly nothing. With the side benefit that you don't have to watch "Judge Judy" and "Jerry Springer" while smoking ice.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Qlikview server issues, sequence of events: 01/11 11:30 - Server drops off the network 01/11 11:35 - Notify admin that owns the IP that it dropped off the network 01/12 05:50 - Arrive at work, machine still not accessible, admin hasn't responded, so I submit help desk ticket 01/12 09:45 - Help desk responds, asking which port number the machine is on. Really? 01/12 13:50 - Two guys from NetOps comes up to my office to see what I'm talking about. What in the phrase "the IP does not respond to a ping request" causes confusion? They actually had to watch me do it. 01/13 05:55 - Arrive at work, machine still not on network, email from help desk saying the qlikview share admin (the same idiot I emailed two freakin days ago and as yet have received no response) is working on the issue with no ETA on restoration of access. 01/13 07:15 - A guy from the IT department calls to say he's got the work order to look at my ports and that he'd be upstairs before 10am. I told him that it's not a f*ckin port issue and not to bother coming upstairs. But he's got a work order, so he has to come up anyway. I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used. No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday... What a cluster f*ck.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013:laugh: I go through this every time I have to deal with our IT folks.
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As much as I feel your pain, try changing your wording. You stated, "the IP does not respond to a ping request"; the implication is that the PING port is open and not blocked by a firewall - we fight this battle every time we deploy a new server to the field. Rephrase it is, "I am unable to connect to the QlikView server, however, I am not having issues with other servers. I was previously able to connect to the QlikView server and, until such time as I can, I am unable to work productively." Also... have you informed your management directly of this issue? Presumably, others are using the QlikView server - have they informed their management?
I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest that John is not in the market currently for constructive criticism of his Help Desk ticket reporting techniques.
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Qlikview server issues, sequence of events: 01/11 11:30 - Server drops off the network 01/11 11:35 - Notify admin that owns the IP that it dropped off the network 01/12 05:50 - Arrive at work, machine still not accessible, admin hasn't responded, so I submit help desk ticket 01/12 09:45 - Help desk responds, asking which port number the machine is on. Really? 01/12 13:50 - Two guys from NetOps comes up to my office to see what I'm talking about. What in the phrase "the IP does not respond to a ping request" causes confusion? They actually had to watch me do it. 01/13 05:55 - Arrive at work, machine still not on network, email from help desk saying the qlikview share admin (the same idiot I emailed two freakin days ago and as yet have received no response) is working on the issue with no ETA on restoration of access. 01/13 07:15 - A guy from the IT department calls to say he's got the work order to look at my ports and that he'd be upstairs before 10am. I told him that it's not a f*ckin port issue and not to bother coming upstairs. But he's got a work order, so he has to come up anyway. I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used. No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday... What a cluster f*ck.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013 -
Qlikview server issues, sequence of events: 01/11 11:30 - Server drops off the network 01/11 11:35 - Notify admin that owns the IP that it dropped off the network 01/12 05:50 - Arrive at work, machine still not accessible, admin hasn't responded, so I submit help desk ticket 01/12 09:45 - Help desk responds, asking which port number the machine is on. Really? 01/12 13:50 - Two guys from NetOps comes up to my office to see what I'm talking about. What in the phrase "the IP does not respond to a ping request" causes confusion? They actually had to watch me do it. 01/13 05:55 - Arrive at work, machine still not on network, email from help desk saying the qlikview share admin (the same idiot I emailed two freakin days ago and as yet have received no response) is working on the issue with no ETA on restoration of access. 01/13 07:15 - A guy from the IT department calls to say he's got the work order to look at my ports and that he'd be upstairs before 10am. I told him that it's not a f*ckin port issue and not to bother coming upstairs. But he's got a work order, so he has to come up anyway. I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used. No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday... What a cluster f*ck.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used.
I hope you used the lift elevator on your way out, or had an umbrella with you X|
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Qlikview server issues, sequence of events: 01/11 11:30 - Server drops off the network 01/11 11:35 - Notify admin that owns the IP that it dropped off the network 01/12 05:50 - Arrive at work, machine still not accessible, admin hasn't responded, so I submit help desk ticket 01/12 09:45 - Help desk responds, asking which port number the machine is on. Really? 01/12 13:50 - Two guys from NetOps comes up to my office to see what I'm talking about. What in the phrase "the IP does not respond to a ping request" causes confusion? They actually had to watch me do it. 01/13 05:55 - Arrive at work, machine still not on network, email from help desk saying the qlikview share admin (the same idiot I emailed two freakin days ago and as yet have received no response) is working on the issue with no ETA on restoration of access. 01/13 07:15 - A guy from the IT department calls to say he's got the work order to look at my ports and that he'd be upstairs before 10am. I told him that it's not a f*ckin port issue and not to bother coming upstairs. But he's got a work order, so he has to come up anyway. I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used. No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday... What a cluster f*ck.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013Careful you don't slip on the stairwell sounds like a health and safety issue
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Qlikview server issues, sequence of events: 01/11 11:30 - Server drops off the network 01/11 11:35 - Notify admin that owns the IP that it dropped off the network 01/12 05:50 - Arrive at work, machine still not accessible, admin hasn't responded, so I submit help desk ticket 01/12 09:45 - Help desk responds, asking which port number the machine is on. Really? 01/12 13:50 - Two guys from NetOps comes up to my office to see what I'm talking about. What in the phrase "the IP does not respond to a ping request" causes confusion? They actually had to watch me do it. 01/13 05:55 - Arrive at work, machine still not on network, email from help desk saying the qlikview share admin (the same idiot I emailed two freakin days ago and as yet have received no response) is working on the issue with no ETA on restoration of access. 01/13 07:15 - A guy from the IT department calls to say he's got the work order to look at my ports and that he'd be upstairs before 10am. I told him that it's not a f*ckin port issue and not to bother coming upstairs. But he's got a work order, so he has to come up anyway. I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used. No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday... What a cluster f*ck.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013Aw, let the guy "look at your ports." WTF? If nothing else it's going to be amusing to see what "looking at your ports" actually means (if they don't know how to ping how will they check the ports? clean the plug with a wire brush??), and even more how baffled and stupid he will look when it makes no bloody difference as the server is MIA anyway. It's just like children and fire, sometimes, when it's small enough like a candle, you just have to let them touch the flame find out for themselves that it really does hurt. It's a schadenfreude goldmine begging to be played from the comfort of your own office chair. Invite the boss to watch too - then you're fully covered for the lost work days.
Sin tack ear lol Pressing the any key may be continuate
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Qlikview server issues, sequence of events: 01/11 11:30 - Server drops off the network 01/11 11:35 - Notify admin that owns the IP that it dropped off the network 01/12 05:50 - Arrive at work, machine still not accessible, admin hasn't responded, so I submit help desk ticket 01/12 09:45 - Help desk responds, asking which port number the machine is on. Really? 01/12 13:50 - Two guys from NetOps comes up to my office to see what I'm talking about. What in the phrase "the IP does not respond to a ping request" causes confusion? They actually had to watch me do it. 01/13 05:55 - Arrive at work, machine still not on network, email from help desk saying the qlikview share admin (the same idiot I emailed two freakin days ago and as yet have received no response) is working on the issue with no ETA on restoration of access. 01/13 07:15 - A guy from the IT department calls to say he's got the work order to look at my ports and that he'd be upstairs before 10am. I told him that it's not a f*ckin port issue and not to bother coming upstairs. But he's got a work order, so he has to come up anyway. I told him masturbating in a stairwell would be time better used. No work has been done since 11:30am on Wednesday... What a cluster f*ck.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013There are so many posers now in this business that think they are "IT". I don't know where to begin but it's way too late to fix it.
