The Millenium Problems
-
You call those challenges? :laugh: These are challenges!
WARNING: Not for the feint of heart.
Tangled cable problem - Why is it that, even when you put them away carefully and organized, when you pick up some cables they are always tangled? The take-her-out-for-food dilemma - Find out what a woman wants to eat when she says she doesn't care where you're going. BMW turn gamble - Correctly identify the turn a BMW driver is going to take (we all know the turn signal isn't going to work on this one). What-the-customer-really-wants equation - The customer will give you specs for feature A, but we all know what he really wants is B. Find B in the equation.
Best, Sander arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript SQL Server for C# Developers Succinctly Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
The most pointless job description ever: BMW turn indicator assembler
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
-
So? You've just replaced the take-her-out-for-food dilemma with a whole new set: The where-shall-we-spend-the-holidays dilemma - her parents' or your parents' house The why-don't-you-take-me-anywhere dilemma - kids, work, etc. are not excuses And, worst of all, the dreaded do-you-think-I'm-fat dilemma - whatever you answer, you'll be sleeping on the couch for the next week :)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill
Over a decade solved some of these... Holidays - at home Going out - weekly, Friday morning when kids are at school, or late Thursday (we need no babysitter anymore) Fat - to be solved in the next 200 years (an optimistic approximation only)
Skipper: We'll fix it. Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this? Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
-
Not taking her out is not the answer :laugh:
Best, Sander arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript SQL Server for C# Developers Succinctly Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly
Wrong interpretation... While before marriage the girl will play the modest and let you lead the way, after it she has no problem not only to tell you what she wants to eat and where, but do the same for you also!!! :laugh:
Skipper: We'll fix it. Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this? Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
-
The most pointless job description ever: BMW turn indicator assembler
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Jörgen Andersson wrote:
pointless job description ever: BMW turn indicator assembler
But well paid, costs a fortune to replace a turn indicator on a BMW, hence they really should be used sparingly. On a similar note, why is it always idiots in black cars that most often forget to turn on their lights at night?
Sin tack the any key okay
-
Jörgen Andersson wrote:
pointless job description ever: BMW turn indicator assembler
But well paid, costs a fortune to replace a turn indicator on a BMW, hence they really should be used sparingly. On a similar note, why is it always idiots in black cars that most often forget to turn on their lights at night?
Sin tack the any key okay
Lopatir wrote:
idiots in black cars
The question answers itself. :)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill
-
Jörgen Andersson wrote:
pointless job description ever: BMW turn indicator assembler
But well paid, costs a fortune to replace a turn indicator on a BMW, hence they really should be used sparingly. On a similar note, why is it always idiots in black cars that most often forget to turn on their lights at night?
Sin tack the any key okay
Because they are all drunk. Aside: I have a black car, and never forget the lights - they are permanently on "Auto" so they remember themselves ... (and I hardly ever drink)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
-
Jörgen Andersson wrote:
pointless job description ever: BMW turn indicator assembler
But well paid, costs a fortune to replace a turn indicator on a BMW, hence they really should be used sparingly. On a similar note, why is it always idiots in black cars that most often forget to turn on their lights at night?
Sin tack the any key okay
Lopatir wrote:
costs a fortune to replace a turn indicator on a BMW, hence they really should be used sparingly.
The key to not having to replace it so often is to properly maintain it. The first and most important thing to do is to [check the blinker fluid](https://youtu.be/ZxkHqPXwNZ4).
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
-
It looks like the Clay Institute were one short when they set their list of challenges, so I've prepared a revised version: Yang–Mills and Mass Gap - Prove whether the quantum mass-gappy thing is really mass-gappy. Riemann Hypothesis - Work out some s**t about zeta-wotsits and win five pounds. P vs NP Problem - Put CS graduates out of their misery and save them from debating this stuff on Stack Exchange all day. Navier–Stokes Equation - Prove or disprove stuff about provability. Hodge Conjecture - Something to do with Tales From Topographical Oceans or related prog-rock atrocities, as far as I can tell. It's a little bit over my head. Poincaré Conjecture - Geometrically prove that la singe est dans les arbres armed only with a set-square and a piece of string. Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer Conjecture - Find elliptical ways to think about Cubism. The Adams Conjecture - There is no computational task, whether or not it has ever been achieved or ever will be, that is harder than that of calculating the price of a Biztalk Server license.
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
-
Your description of TfTO as an atrocity tells me that prog-rock may also be a little bit over your head. :) Sure, Wakeman agrees, but he's a silly git.
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP.
:laugh: I'm actually quite partial to a bit of prog, early Genesis and Floyd in particular but I never really got on with Yes. Rick Wakeman, on the other hand, has always struck me as being a top bloke!
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
-
:laugh: I'm actually quite partial to a bit of prog, early Genesis and Floyd in particular but I never really got on with Yes. Rick Wakeman, on the other hand, has always struck me as being a top bloke!
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
I'm with you on early Genesis (up through Wind & Wuthering), and Floyd is one of my favorites, tied with Yes. ELP is another favorite. Have you heard any of the more recent prog? Especially Steven Wilson, both solo and Porcupine Tree, or Flower Kings, Haken, Pineapple Thief?
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP.
-
I'm with you on early Genesis (up through Wind & Wuthering), and Floyd is one of my favorites, tied with Yes. ELP is another favorite. Have you heard any of the more recent prog? Especially Steven Wilson, both solo and Porcupine Tree, or Flower Kings, Haken, Pineapple Thief?
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP.
I always found ELP a bit over-blown, I must say. I guess, there's a kind of definition issue with prog (I'd never really considered Porcupine Tree as progsters, for example). My tastes are rather broad on the rock front - Hawkwind, Neu!, Jethro Tull, Gong, Led Zep - a lot of bands that had a prog element without ever really being labelled as prog in the way that say Van der Graaf Generator would be. I know a lot of people these days would describe the likes of Radiohead as prog but it's not a word that springs to my mind when I hear them. I'm not familiar with Flower Kings, Haken or Pineapple Thief, I must admit (I'm insanely ignorant of anything from this century) but will check them out.
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
-
So? You've just replaced the take-her-out-for-food dilemma with a whole new set: The where-shall-we-spend-the-holidays dilemma - her parents' or your parents' house The why-don't-you-take-me-anywhere dilemma - kids, work, etc. are not excuses And, worst of all, the dreaded do-you-think-I'm-fat dilemma - whatever you answer, you'll be sleeping on the couch for the next week :)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill
Concerning the do-you-think-I'm-fat dilemma, a group of friends and I believe to have found the most satisfactory solution. It may very well be also applicable to other questions of that sort or general situations where you could say something wrong: You need to collect your inner center, lower your arms so they are loose on your sides, take a deep breath and then scream 'YOU ARE BEATIFUL!' at the top of your lungs. Please note that the best results with this method can be achieved if there is an honest tone of panic and desperation in your voice. YMMV of course as this was only tested and evaluated in german 'DU BIST WUNDERSCHÖN!'. Please note that we have found this to lighten the mood in almost any situation so far.
-
Concerning the do-you-think-I'm-fat dilemma, a group of friends and I believe to have found the most satisfactory solution. It may very well be also applicable to other questions of that sort or general situations where you could say something wrong: You need to collect your inner center, lower your arms so they are loose on your sides, take a deep breath and then scream 'YOU ARE BEATIFUL!' at the top of your lungs. Please note that the best results with this method can be achieved if there is an honest tone of panic and desperation in your voice. YMMV of course as this was only tested and evaluated in german 'DU BIST WUNDERSCHÖN!'. Please note that we have found this to lighten the mood in almost any situation so far.
:laugh: :thumbsup:
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill
-
Jörgen Andersson wrote:
pointless job description ever: BMW turn indicator assembler
But well paid, costs a fortune to replace a turn indicator on a BMW, hence they really should be used sparingly. On a similar note, why is it always idiots in black cars that most often forget to turn on their lights at night?
Sin tack the any key okay
Toronto Star Kenzie's Daytime Dashboard lights problem rant here: [^]
-
So? You've just replaced the take-her-out-for-food dilemma with a whole new set: The where-shall-we-spend-the-holidays dilemma - her parents' or your parents' house The why-don't-you-take-me-anywhere dilemma - kids, work, etc. are not excuses And, worst of all, the dreaded do-you-think-I'm-fat dilemma - whatever you answer, you'll be sleeping on the couch for the next week :)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill
Daniel Pfeffer wrote:
do-you-think-I'm-fat dilemma
I've always liked the Simpsons approach to dilemmas in life. For this specific case Homer would say: "I am not gonna lie to you" followed by complete silence.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson ---- Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia
