Refactoring the soul
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Marc Clifton wrote:
I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
YES
Keep your friends close. Keep Kill your enemies closer. The End
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I don't think you realise until you are well and truly out of there, nor do you realise the damage it's doing to you. I was under a traumatic level of stress for 25 years in three different jobs, and responded by drinking far, far too much; using coke and dope far, far too much. It wasn't until I said "sod the lot of you" and just stopped that I started to get an idea that I was under any stress at all, it was just "normal". It took a long time to get to my current laid-back state! Now I hardly drink, I haven't smoked for fifteen years, I haven't used any drugs in decades. Except caffeine, I still mainline that one. Stress will kill you from the inside long before it manages to kill your body.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640 Never throw anything away, Griff Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Yes I had a manager once that tried to sabatoge me at every turn. Tried to fireach me but his boss wouldn't let him. Everything he asked me to do I had him put it in writing and sign it. Then I had to take paperwork home because he would go through my desk at night and take papers. It was a freaking nightmare.
Got my site back up after my time in the woods! JaxCoder.com
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I don't think you realise until you are well and truly out of there, nor do you realise the damage it's doing to you. I was under a traumatic level of stress for 25 years in three different jobs, and responded by drinking far, far too much; using coke and dope far, far too much. It wasn't until I said "sod the lot of you" and just stopped that I started to get an idea that I was under any stress at all, it was just "normal". It took a long time to get to my current laid-back state! Now I hardly drink, I haven't smoked for fifteen years, I haven't used any drugs in decades. Except caffeine, I still mainline that one. Stress will kill you from the inside long before it manages to kill your body.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640 Never throw anything away, Griff Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
Wow.
OriginalGriff wrote:
Stress will kill you from the inside long before it manages to kill your body.
Agreed - my wife says this new job probably saved my life.
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Yes I had a manager once that tried to sabatoge me at every turn. Tried to fireach me but his boss wouldn't let him. Everything he asked me to do I had him put it in writing and sign it. Then I had to take paperwork home because he would go through my desk at night and take papers. It was a freaking nightmare.
Got my site back up after my time in the woods! JaxCoder.com
Mike Hankey wrote:
Then I had to take paperwork home because he would go through my desk at night and take papers.
:omg: Why wasn't he fired? Though, that was the question I asked myself every day at these previous jobs. The answer to one was old school corporate mentality, the other was basically "drinking buddies on the CEO's boat and neighbor of the CEO's brother." Talk about a conflict of interest.
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I had my share of stress too, but I think it is almost unavoidable in our line of business. When things get complicated, which they always do in IT, people get stressed and that brings out the worst in some people. But what I personally found much worse than stress is being unemployed, which I experienced several times. :wtf:
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I don't think the POTUS is psychotic, so I guess I can't relate to what you are going through. I do wish you the best of luck in finding some peace in what you do.
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
The only job I've ever had like that was my first programming job. I started part-time while I was in college, and then full-time for two years after graduation. In hindsight, the boss confused me with one of his kids. He constantly looked over my shoulder, questioned my decisions, and so on. Some of this is appropriate for a wet-behind-the-ears intern, but I think it could have been handled better [war stories omitted]. Two things forever removed me from becoming too emotionally wrapped-up in my job: becoming a parent and a runner. If you are paying attention at all, being a parent realigns your priorities and you recognize that your job is no longer a holy calling, but just what you do to pay the bills. For me, becoming a runner helped me realize that being a computer geek was not the whole of my being. There were other things I could be that gave me a sense of accomplishment and purpose, that had nothing to do with my education or how I earned my living. I still get excited when things go well at work, and pissed when they go sideways, but those feelings aren't all-encompassing.
Software Zen:
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Previous boss would stroll in at 9:30/10ish, fall asleep in his office and leave around 3. My normal day was get in around 6:30/7ish, leave around 4:30/5ish. He came over to my desk one day at lunch and "caught" me slacking off reading the news. Treated me like garbage from that point on no matter how good of a job I did, how much money I saved the company, etc. Years have passed and I haven't had any contact with him and I still get this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach when I leave at noon on a Friday after I've already put in 45-50 hours for the week. Current job is tanking the confidence I have in my own decision making abilities because everything has to go up the chain, even some of the simplest stuff like "Can I take a day to go to a vendor conference that I was invited to speak at? No cost to the company and free publicity in our industry." takes two weeks as it goes through 3-4 levels to get a decision. :sigh:
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
First, congrats on finding a place you're happy! And no, its not just you. I think anyone who lasts long enough in this industry eventually encounters one of those jobs. My advice, when its good cherish it! That's a rare thing nowadays. When it gets bad enough to negatively impact your life, flee immediately! The tricky part is recognizing when its bad enough. Often, you get a honeymoon period with a new job. Other times, you start with great management, but they leave...only to be replaced by terrible management. In either case, inertia usually casts you in role of the "frog" in that Boiling frog[^] metaphor :) Despite being around the block more than a few times, I've never quite learned how to avoid that. At best, I've reduced the lag time between its onset and my departure to about a year.
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I worked at a place like that for a while. The projects I worked on were great - really a lot of fun. I liked my co-workers too. However, the management kept getting worse and worse until eventually it was horrendous. We ended up with a GM who thought self-reviews were a good idea. :rolleyes: This was in a fairly small community where most people in the industry knew each other so word started getting around about how bad things were. About 2008 or so, when the economy was really bad, we actually had a fair amount of work and needed to hire more people. We had personnel requisitions open for months and months because no one wanted to work there, even with job openings being very scarce. The head office sent a squad from HR there to interview people and find out what the problems were twice. Of course, they did nothing with their information so the issues persisted. I was actually grateful when I was laid off from there. A little more than a year later the entire division was closed and I don't think anyone was surprised. Today I work for a company who could have been a customer of theirs in the past and whenever we put out an RFP I make sure my former employer does not receive one because they have changed so much I would never, ever even remotely consider them as a vendor. For those of you who know me IRL I will be happy to explain why. :cool:
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I left one job that I loved after working a year of evenings, weekends and holidays. I didn't mind working long hours however the person I worked for could only be described as like working for Inspector Clouseau(I felt like the Herbert Lom character but instead of being the boss Clouseau was the boss), it was a total nightmare working for him. I realised that my health was going to suffer and as a consequence I left the job and experienced severe depression for around a year. A doctor tried to persuade me to go on SSRIs, but having previously worked in medical data analysis I had a small understanding of how scientific studies are conducted and how the statistics from these studies are produced and what I read in the literature could persuade me to go down the route of taking SSRIs(the benefits compared to placebo were too close for my liking). My close family(who lived some distance from me), friends and CBT ended up saving me - I can't praise CBT highly enough and can see why it is so popular. CBT in it's most basic form it is really just about creating positive distractions. Generally work amounts to half, or more, of your waking hours during the week, so you owe it to yourself to have a decent work environment and I don't buy the "don't take it personally" or the "you're too sensitive" argument - if someone is going to behave like a jerk or bully towards you it's perfectly fine to be affected by that and take action to stop it.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I've generally kept myself in a position where I can turn around, phart in an upbeat tone, and leave. I can almost here them saying "Oh, :elephant: - now what?" Part of this is a financially conservative life style - except when newly out of school, I don't spend to please others (clothing, cars, etc.). Big saving cushion. Now, I can retire whenever I want - literally working for the entertainment value. Hindsight reminds me that, even though I make less than most - I've had a damn good setup in terms of not letting my employers lord it over me and cause horrid stress. Nonetheless, if I were born rich, it would have made things that much easier. Refactoring is due in keeping myself busy when I pull that retirement trigger. Now that's intimidating.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
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Mike Hankey wrote:
Then I had to take paperwork home because he would go through my desk at night and take papers.
:omg: Why wasn't he fired? Though, that was the question I asked myself every day at these previous jobs. The answer to one was old school corporate mentality, the other was basically "drinking buddies on the CEO's boat and neighbor of the CEO's brother." Talk about a conflict of interest.
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
The whole department, except me was eventually showed the door. Every job we had done was so poorly managed and equipment so outdated that they all sued the company. Example; a PDP-11/23 to run a water treatment plant.
Got my site back up after my time in the woods! JaxCoder.com
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The whole department, except me was eventually showed the door. Every job we had done was so poorly managed and equipment so outdated that they all sued the company. Example; a PDP-11/23 to run a water treatment plant.
Got my site back up after my time in the woods! JaxCoder.com
Mike Hankey wrote:
Example; a PDP-11/23 to run a water treatment plant.
:laugh: With the program on punch tape?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Mike Hankey wrote:
Example; a PDP-11/23 to run a water treatment plant.
:laugh: With the program on punch tape?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
C senor :)
Got my site back up after my time in the woods! JaxCoder.com
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Marc Clifton wrote:
Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive
225 articles on CodeProject. I think you may have already have some experience with harsh criticism, and don't think you would have written that much if you'd be overly sensitive. You can't work under fear; stress will slowly eat you.
Marc Clifton wrote:
stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc.
You're not more productive by making sure that you spend as much time as possible behind the keyboard. Sometimes it helps to take a walk around the building in the rain to get a new perspective on a problem. Pretty sure that a lot of companies would like to have a legend and master among them :thumbsup:
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^] "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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Previous boss would stroll in at 9:30/10ish, fall asleep in his office and leave around 3. My normal day was get in around 6:30/7ish, leave around 4:30/5ish. He came over to my desk one day at lunch and "caught" me slacking off reading the news. Treated me like garbage from that point on no matter how good of a job I did, how much money I saved the company, etc. Years have passed and I haven't had any contact with him and I still get this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach when I leave at noon on a Friday after I've already put in 45-50 hours for the week. Current job is tanking the confidence I have in my own decision making abilities because everything has to go up the chain, even some of the simplest stuff like "Can I take a day to go to a vendor conference that I was invited to speak at? No cost to the company and free publicity in our industry." takes two weeks as it goes through 3-4 levels to get a decision. :sigh:
RJOberg wrote:
Can I take a day to go to a vendor conference that I was invited to speak at? No cost to the company and free publicity in our industry
I can understand why that needs high level approval, there is substantial reputational risk to the organisation involved in public presentations. You may be confident and capable in your subject matter but management actually needs to look at a wider picture. So it is not your decision making capability that is in question (after all you have already made that recommendation to management)
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Yes, I can totally relate. The interesting part is that I'm working less now, having more fun at work. And still I get a lot more done.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
