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  3. Working on my own project makes me sick X|. Why?

Working on my own project makes me sick X|. Why?

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  • M Member_14213599

    I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

    M Offline
    M Offline
    MarkTJohnson
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    Maybe it's your subconscious telling you that you need more work/life balance and look for something other than coding to do in your spare time. It may be considered blasphemous here but I don't do any outside coding. I spend time with my wife, children and grandchild.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • M Member_14213599

      I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

      realJSOPR Offline
      realJSOPR Offline
      realJSOP
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      So how long have you called yourself a developer?

      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • M Member_14213599

        I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

        M Offline
        M Offline
        Mark_Wallace
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        You're British. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, tighten your upper lip, and get the Hell on with it. Seriously. Something inside you -- anxiety, fear of failure, it doesn't matter what -- is making you feel this way. You've got to not let it take control. Just say "F*** YOU!" as loudly as you can through gritted teeth, and get on with the job. Leave the "poor me!" cr@p to the Americans and their analysts; you've got a British backbone, so use it.

        I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

        realJSOPR K L 3 Replies Last reply
        0
        • M Mark_Wallace

          You're British. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, tighten your upper lip, and get the Hell on with it. Seriously. Something inside you -- anxiety, fear of failure, it doesn't matter what -- is making you feel this way. You've got to not let it take control. Just say "F*** YOU!" as loudly as you can through gritted teeth, and get on with the job. Leave the "poor me!" cr@p to the Americans and their analysts; you've got a British backbone, so use it.

          I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

          realJSOPR Offline
          realJSOPR Offline
          realJSOP
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          "poor me" is not exclusive to the U.S.... that crap goes on EVERYWHERE.

          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

          M 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • realJSOPR realJSOP

            "poor me" is not exclusive to the U.S.... that crap goes on EVERYWHERE.

            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

            M Offline
            M Offline
            Mark_Wallace
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            Hey, since when were Texans Americans? So it's nothing to do with you, anyway.

            I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

            realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • M Mark_Wallace

              You're British. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, tighten your upper lip, and get the Hell on with it. Seriously. Something inside you -- anxiety, fear of failure, it doesn't matter what -- is making you feel this way. You've got to not let it take control. Just say "F*** YOU!" as loudly as you can through gritted teeth, and get on with the job. Leave the "poor me!" cr@p to the Americans and their analysts; you've got a British backbone, so use it.

              I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

              K Offline
              K Offline
              Kschuler
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              Sometimes it's "poor me" but sometimes it's a legit medical condition. Don't perpetuate the stigma that it's always just in someone's head or they're lazy.

              M 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • M Member_14213599

                I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

                G Offline
                G Offline
                GuyThiebaut
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                Are you the same person as the user on this forum with the name "Madness, Coding and Meds"? I ask because you seem to be asking similar questions to "Madness, Coding and Meds" and your sentence structure seems rather similar to me. Outside of that I don't think this is the best place to ask for professional mental health help. It sounds like you have fairly serious symptoms and you'd probably be best helped by a doctor or mental health professional. Do you have contact information in your country/region for mental health help?

                “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

                ― Christopher Hitchens

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • M Mark_Wallace

                  Hey, since when were Texans Americans? So it's nothing to do with you, anyway.

                  I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOP
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  I didn't mention texas. You mentioned Americans, and I was just chiming in because we have a treaty with them - just trying to be neighborly. :)

                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                  M D 2 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                    I didn't mention texas. You mentioned Americans, and I was just chiming in because we have a treaty with them - just trying to be neighborly. :)

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    Mark_Wallace
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    Putting up with them northerners shows true Texan values. Proud to know ya.

                    I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • K Kschuler

                      Sometimes it's "poor me" but sometimes it's a legit medical condition. Don't perpetuate the stigma that it's always just in someone's head or they're lazy.

                      M Offline
                      M Offline
                      Mark_Wallace
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      Even medical conditions cab be beaten back by force of will.

                      I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                      K 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • M Mark_Wallace

                        Even medical conditions cab be beaten back by force of will.

                        I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                        K Offline
                        K Offline
                        Kschuler
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #15

                        :wtf:

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • M Mark_Wallace

                          You're British. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, tighten your upper lip, and get the Hell on with it. Seriously. Something inside you -- anxiety, fear of failure, it doesn't matter what -- is making you feel this way. You've got to not let it take control. Just say "F*** YOU!" as loudly as you can through gritted teeth, and get on with the job. Leave the "poor me!" cr@p to the Americans and their analysts; you've got a British backbone, so use it.

                          I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #16

                          Is this the same British backbone that can't seem to divorce the EU? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

                          The Beer Prayer - Our lager, which art in barrels, hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, at home as it is in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us our spillage as we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, but deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager, for ever and ever. Barmen.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • realJSOPR realJSOP

                            I didn't mention texas. You mentioned Americans, and I was just chiming in because we have a treaty with them - just trying to be neighborly. :)

                            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                            D Offline
                            D Offline
                            dandy72
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #17

                            #realJSOP wrote:

                            You mentioned Americans, and I was just chiming in because we have a treaty with them

                            :-) Never heard it worded this way before, but it all makes sense.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • M Member_14213599

                              I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

                              RaviBeeR Offline
                              RaviBeeR Offline
                              RaviBee
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #18

                              Member 14213599 wrote:

                              and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick.

                              I've been there.  Turns out, not only was I getting physically sick, I was churning out buggy code.  This is of the variety:       Me: Doctor, it hurts when I do that.       Doctor: Then don't do it. So I stopped pushing myself.  I started releasing TakeStock and WeatherMate on my own schedule, regardless of the pressure (especially with TS) to get new features out the door.  I found I was sleeping more, writing better code, and generally taking better care of my health.  I'm now working on my first "real" Android app (that I intend to publish on the Play Store).  The ante is upped with mobile apps.  With every bug, less-than-optimal user experience and missing (in the eye of the user) feature, your app takes a beating on the app store.  It doesn't matter if you spent months perfecting Feature X - if 90% of the users want Feature Y, your app is going to be mercilessly rated down. So my 2¢'s is: STOP PUSHING YOURSELF.  If you're not enjoying building apps on the side, don't build apps on the side.  But assuming that you love doing this kind of stuff (and if you didn't, you wouldn't have posted on CP :)), SLOW DOWN.  Take your time over each feature.  Don't rush to release.  Return to enjoying the process of building your app! /ravi

                              My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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                              • M Member_14213599

                                I am a software developer. used to make Android apps for a couple of years for fun. Had moderate success with a couple of apps and no success with the majority but I can't say all my apps were of the same quality. I did that for a couple of years and money started drying up. I sold my last monetized app and ever since then I haven't been able to make more apps. for the last 3 years I've started many projects that I didn't complete and when ever i push my self to finish something i get physically sick. My heart starts pumping hard, I get chest pain, pressure around my head. I always put that down to over working since I have a tendency to keep pushing once I start, past silly hours. I havn't worked on anything for myself for the last 6 months, but now that I am starting again, I cannot sit and work on the project for more than 10 minutes without getting those symptoms again. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Has anyone experienced or info about this condition? FYI. I can work on my jobs project just fine just not my own. Any help appreciated. Thanks

                                B Offline
                                B Offline
                                BoomRShine
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #19

                                Sounds like you are having a panic attack. Panic Attack Symptoms | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA[^]

                                Quote:

                                A panic attack is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes and includes at least four of the following symptoms: Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate Sweating Trembling or shaking Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering Feelings of choking Chest pain or discomfort Nausea or abdominal distress Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed, or faint Chills or heat sensations Paresthesia (numbness or tingling sensations) Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself) Fear of losing control or “going crazy” Fear of dying

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