story time!
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A shepherd was herding a large flock in a remote pasture when a brand-new BMW drove up. The driver was a young man all dressed up in an expensive suit. He leaned out the window and said to the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, then looked at his large flock and calmly sure, "Sure, Why not?" The young man parked his car and whipped a small computer and connected it to his cell phone. He surfed the internet and called up a GPS satellite navigation system and got an exact fix on his location. Then the satellite scanned the area and produced an ultra-high-resolution photo which he fed to a processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he received an email and he turned to the shepherd and said, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep." The shepherd says, "Wow, that's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." He watches as the young man selects one of his animals and stuffs it in the trunk of his car. Then the shepherd said, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back my sheep?" The young man thought about it for a second and said, "Okay, Why not?" And the shepherd says, "You're a consultant." And the young guy said, "Wow! That's correct, but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the shepherd, "You showed up even though nobody called you; you wanted to be paid for something I already knew and you don't know anything about my business... now give me back my dog!"
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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All of us non-consultants are laughing it up and having a good old time (as we contemplate the consultants who surround us and are more highly paid than us). :rolleyes:
I was a consultant for a bit. It was soul crushing, but it made this funny.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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A shepherd was herding a large flock in a remote pasture when a brand-new BMW drove up. The driver was a young man all dressed up in an expensive suit. He leaned out the window and said to the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, then looked at his large flock and calmly sure, "Sure, Why not?" The young man parked his car and whipped a small computer and connected it to his cell phone. He surfed the internet and called up a GPS satellite navigation system and got an exact fix on his location. Then the satellite scanned the area and produced an ultra-high-resolution photo which he fed to a processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he received an email and he turned to the shepherd and said, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep." The shepherd says, "Wow, that's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." He watches as the young man selects one of his animals and stuffs it in the trunk of his car. Then the shepherd said, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back my sheep?" The young man thought about it for a second and said, "Okay, Why not?" And the shepherd says, "You're a consultant." And the young guy said, "Wow! That's correct, but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the shepherd, "You showed up even though nobody called you; you wanted to be paid for something I already knew and you don't know anything about my business... now give me back my dog!"
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
The Two Ronnies would have been proud of that one!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I was a consultant for a bit. It was soul crushing, but it made this funny.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
honey the monster, codewitch wrote:
I was a consultant for a bit. It was soul crushing
I think you had it backwards. You were supposed to be crushing the souls. :laugh: You have to get bigger shoes next time and an extra large suit and start stomping around and yelling out, "Well, I _THE CONSULTANT_ can see the solution to your meager problems. I don't know why you people even try around here!!! Here, put some assembly code here and a sprinkle of JavaScript over there and you're all done." :laugh:
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honey the monster, codewitch wrote:
I was a consultant for a bit. It was soul crushing
I think you had it backwards. You were supposed to be crushing the souls. :laugh: You have to get bigger shoes next time and an extra large suit and start stomping around and yelling out, "Well, I _THE CONSULTANT_ can see the solution to your meager problems. I don't know why you people even try around here!!! Here, put some assembly code here and a sprinkle of JavaScript over there and you're all done." :laugh:
"just put some inline assembly in the javascript and you're golden" And then folks wonder why this happened: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asm.js[^]
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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A shepherd was herding a large flock in a remote pasture when a brand-new BMW drove up. The driver was a young man all dressed up in an expensive suit. He leaned out the window and said to the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, then looked at his large flock and calmly sure, "Sure, Why not?" The young man parked his car and whipped a small computer and connected it to his cell phone. He surfed the internet and called up a GPS satellite navigation system and got an exact fix on his location. Then the satellite scanned the area and produced an ultra-high-resolution photo which he fed to a processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he received an email and he turned to the shepherd and said, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep." The shepherd says, "Wow, that's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." He watches as the young man selects one of his animals and stuffs it in the trunk of his car. Then the shepherd said, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back my sheep?" The young man thought about it for a second and said, "Okay, Why not?" And the shepherd says, "You're a consultant." And the young guy said, "Wow! That's correct, but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the shepherd, "You showed up even though nobody called you; you wanted to be paid for something I already knew and you don't know anything about my business... now give me back my dog!"
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
:)
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A shepherd was herding a large flock in a remote pasture when a brand-new BMW drove up. The driver was a young man all dressed up in an expensive suit. He leaned out the window and said to the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, then looked at his large flock and calmly sure, "Sure, Why not?" The young man parked his car and whipped a small computer and connected it to his cell phone. He surfed the internet and called up a GPS satellite navigation system and got an exact fix on his location. Then the satellite scanned the area and produced an ultra-high-resolution photo which he fed to a processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he received an email and he turned to the shepherd and said, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep." The shepherd says, "Wow, that's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." He watches as the young man selects one of his animals and stuffs it in the trunk of his car. Then the shepherd said, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back my sheep?" The young man thought about it for a second and said, "Okay, Why not?" And the shepherd says, "You're a consultant." And the young guy said, "Wow! That's correct, but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the shepherd, "You showed up even though nobody called you; you wanted to be paid for something I already knew and you don't know anything about my business... now give me back my dog!"
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
I'm sure it was posted more recently than these: The Lounge[^] The Lounge[^] The Lounge[^]
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I'm sure it was posted more recently than these: The Lounge[^] The Lounge[^] The Lounge[^]
damn i wasn't even on here in 03. I'd say none of the node.js developers here were even born then.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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damn i wasn't even on here in 03. I'd say none of the node.js developers here were even born then.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
I wasn't either, but I'm sure I saw it here.
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I wasn't either, but I'm sure I saw it here.
I just heard it today. Guess I'm behind. Maybe it was told behind my back when I was a consultant, but I thought it was funny.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.