Bossisms
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After reading Zenboys thread[^] about his foolish boss, it seemed like an idea for a topic all of it's own. Here's my top 5 pieces of evidence that prove you don't need to know what you're doing to get ahead:
- I once spent an hour explaining to my project leader what the registry is and how to use it.
- An argument with the "Vice President of Information Technology" about the +30 second latency in the system. He insisted that it was a slow video card, rather than believe that his "poll 8000 devices down a 9600 baud serial link" could be to blame. Towards the end of the meeting he said to me: "You're skating on very thin ice now. Your boss is telling you to be quiet, so be quiet". How I wish I could have just a fraction of this man's charisma and leadership charm! X|
- "We don't need source control. Just copy your files onto the network before you go home and they'll be included in the network backup. Oh and don't worry about someone else copying over your stuff - the NTFS file permissions will prevent that from happening".
- The clueless kid (CEO's son) that blew an entire deal - and eventually took the company under because he didn't know the difference between "LCD" and "LED". After months of development the device was proudly presented to the customer, who immediately said "I wanted a bright red LED display on it. What the hell is that?"
- The boss that said "I like your idea of reusable components, but we don't want to tie the customer down to using Visual Basic, so write your own language to support them".
There's plenty more, but I've got some actual work to do here :-O
There are 10 kinds of people - those that get binary and those that don't.
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After reading Zenboys thread[^] about his foolish boss, it seemed like an idea for a topic all of it's own. Here's my top 5 pieces of evidence that prove you don't need to know what you're doing to get ahead:
- I once spent an hour explaining to my project leader what the registry is and how to use it.
- An argument with the "Vice President of Information Technology" about the +30 second latency in the system. He insisted that it was a slow video card, rather than believe that his "poll 8000 devices down a 9600 baud serial link" could be to blame. Towards the end of the meeting he said to me: "You're skating on very thin ice now. Your boss is telling you to be quiet, so be quiet". How I wish I could have just a fraction of this man's charisma and leadership charm! X|
- "We don't need source control. Just copy your files onto the network before you go home and they'll be included in the network backup. Oh and don't worry about someone else copying over your stuff - the NTFS file permissions will prevent that from happening".
- The clueless kid (CEO's son) that blew an entire deal - and eventually took the company under because he didn't know the difference between "LCD" and "LED". After months of development the device was proudly presented to the customer, who immediately said "I wanted a bright red LED display on it. What the hell is that?"
- The boss that said "I like your idea of reusable components, but we don't want to tie the customer down to using Visual Basic, so write your own language to support them".
There's plenty more, but I've got some actual work to do here :-O
There are 10 kinds of people - those that get binary and those that don't.
- Developers who want the latest greatest machines, an Italian made Espresso machine, T1 internet connections, bean bags instead of chairs, think all their co-workers are rubbish and still think it is fine to rock up at 10am, leaving by 4pm and refusing to come in on Saturday to catch up because a deadline they agreed to is on Monday
We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaChris Losinger wrote: i hate needles so much i can't even imagine allowing one near The Little Programmer
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- Developers who want the latest greatest machines, an Italian made Espresso machine, T1 internet connections, bean bags instead of chairs, think all their co-workers are rubbish and still think it is fine to rock up at 10am, leaving by 4pm and refusing to come in on Saturday to catch up because a deadline they agreed to is on Monday
We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaChris Losinger wrote: i hate needles so much i can't even imagine allowing one near The Little Programmer
Paul Watson wrote: We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him. That probably explains why some of the best managers/team leads/execs were at one time programmers or technical people. "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein
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- Developers who want the latest greatest machines, an Italian made Espresso machine, T1 internet connections, bean bags instead of chairs, think all their co-workers are rubbish and still think it is fine to rock up at 10am, leaving by 4pm and refusing to come in on Saturday to catch up because a deadline they agreed to is on Monday
We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaChris Losinger wrote: i hate needles so much i can't even imagine allowing one near The Little Programmer
Paul Watson wrote: We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him. No, Paul. We should bitch about everybody. It is our duty as human beings. J
"You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."
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- Developers who want the latest greatest machines, an Italian made Espresso machine, T1 internet connections, bean bags instead of chairs, think all their co-workers are rubbish and still think it is fine to rock up at 10am, leaving by 4pm and refusing to come in on Saturday to catch up because a deadline they agreed to is on Monday
We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaChris Losinger wrote: i hate needles so much i can't even imagine allowing one near The Little Programmer
Another lecture by Grandpa Paul ;P ;P ;P Seriously, I agree with you - tho' only in part. We should try seeing things from the other person's POV.
Vikram. ----------------------------- KI klike KDE kand kuse kit, kbut KI kmust kadmit, kstarting kall knames kwith K kis ksilly. KI khope kthey kwill kgive kup kthis kwhole kscheme ksoon kand kcome kup kwith kreal knames. pI vThink aHungarian nNotation vIs iA aWonderful nThing cAnd pEveryone avShould vUse pIt aAll dThe nTime, adNo nMatter pWhat dThe nContext, adEven adWhen vSpeaking. -
- Developers who want the latest greatest machines, an Italian made Espresso machine, T1 internet connections, bean bags instead of chairs, think all their co-workers are rubbish and still think it is fine to rock up at 10am, leaving by 4pm and refusing to come in on Saturday to catch up because a deadline they agreed to is on Monday
We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaChris Losinger wrote: i hate needles so much i can't even imagine allowing one near The Little Programmer
Paul Watson wrote: Developers who want the latest greatest machines All I'm asking for is Windows 2000 instead of Windows 98 on my development machine. Paul Watson wrote: an Italian made Espresso machine They can buy whatever they like with their own salary, right? Paul Watson wrote: T1 internet connections I guess I'm spoiled here with a T3, then? :-O Paul Watson wrote: bean bags instead of chairs Get them to sign an agreement that they waive all rights to company-paid health benefits before they have to sit in the things for 40 hours a week.... Paul Watson wrote: think all their co-workers are rubbish Only the clueless ones that get to make actual decisions... Paul Watson wrote: think it is fine to rock up at 10am, leaving by 4pm and refusing to come in on Saturday to catch up because a deadline they agreed to is on Monday Switch them to hourly paid instead of salaried. Soon they'll be working through lunch for you as well ;) Paul Watson wrote: We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him. True, but seems like the space is always taken by someone else. :(
There are 10 kinds of people - those that get binary and those that don't.
-
After reading Zenboys thread[^] about his foolish boss, it seemed like an idea for a topic all of it's own. Here's my top 5 pieces of evidence that prove you don't need to know what you're doing to get ahead:
- I once spent an hour explaining to my project leader what the registry is and how to use it.
- An argument with the "Vice President of Information Technology" about the +30 second latency in the system. He insisted that it was a slow video card, rather than believe that his "poll 8000 devices down a 9600 baud serial link" could be to blame. Towards the end of the meeting he said to me: "You're skating on very thin ice now. Your boss is telling you to be quiet, so be quiet". How I wish I could have just a fraction of this man's charisma and leadership charm! X|
- "We don't need source control. Just copy your files onto the network before you go home and they'll be included in the network backup. Oh and don't worry about someone else copying over your stuff - the NTFS file permissions will prevent that from happening".
- The clueless kid (CEO's son) that blew an entire deal - and eventually took the company under because he didn't know the difference between "LCD" and "LED". After months of development the device was proudly presented to the customer, who immediately said "I wanted a bright red LED display on it. What the hell is that?"
- The boss that said "I like your idea of reusable components, but we don't want to tie the customer down to using Visual Basic, so write your own language to support them".
There's plenty more, but I've got some actual work to do here :-O
There are 10 kinds of people - those that get binary and those that don't.
My boss thought he knew more than the developers, since he was over them. We were having problems getting a Java designer application installed on a friend's PC. Since the boss knew everything, he decided to sit down and help. He grabbed a very think "Programming Java" book and started thumbing through it looking for the answer. After a minute or two he realized that he didn't recognize ANYTHING in the book, he finally saw a word that he recognized and said in an excited voice: "Ahh, 'Applet'" It's been a running joke ever since. Barry Etter
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Paul Watson wrote: Developers who want the latest greatest machines All I'm asking for is Windows 2000 instead of Windows 98 on my development machine. Paul Watson wrote: an Italian made Espresso machine They can buy whatever they like with their own salary, right? Paul Watson wrote: T1 internet connections I guess I'm spoiled here with a T3, then? :-O Paul Watson wrote: bean bags instead of chairs Get them to sign an agreement that they waive all rights to company-paid health benefits before they have to sit in the things for 40 hours a week.... Paul Watson wrote: think all their co-workers are rubbish Only the clueless ones that get to make actual decisions... Paul Watson wrote: think it is fine to rock up at 10am, leaving by 4pm and refusing to come in on Saturday to catch up because a deadline they agreed to is on Monday Switch them to hourly paid instead of salaried. Soon they'll be working through lunch for you as well ;) Paul Watson wrote: We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him. True, but seems like the space is always taken by someone else. :(
There are 10 kinds of people - those that get binary and those that don't.
Miszou wrote: 40 hours a week.... 40? I don't understand. :wtf: Managers are the only ppl that "work" 40 hours a week. ;) Cheers, Simon "Don't try to be like Jackie. There is only one Jackie.... Study computers instead.", Jackie Chan on career choices. animation mechanics in SVG (my first abstract photo)
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Another lecture by Grandpa Paul ;P ;P ;P Seriously, I agree with you - tho' only in part. We should try seeing things from the other person's POV.
Vikram. ----------------------------- KI klike KDE kand kuse kit, kbut KI kmust kadmit, kstarting kall knames kwith K kis ksilly. KI khope kthey kwill kgive kup kthis kwhole kscheme ksoon kand kcome kup kwith kreal knames. pI vThink aHungarian nNotation vIs iA aWonderful nThing cAnd pEveryone avShould vUse pIt aAll dThe nTime, adNo nMatter pWhat dThe nContext, adEven adWhen vSpeaking.Vikram Punathambekar wrote: Grandpa Paul LOL. While insulting the OP might be akin to verbal suicide, this one's gotta be pretty close. Grandpa Paul, love it. :-D Chris Meech "what makes CP different is the people and sense of community, things people will only discover if they join up and join in." Christian Graus Nov 14, 2002. "And when you need to hire a programmer to do mostly VB programming, it's not good enough to hire a VB programmer, because they will get completely stuck in tar every time the VB abstraction leaks." Joel on Software Nov 11, 2002.
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After reading Zenboys thread[^] about his foolish boss, it seemed like an idea for a topic all of it's own. Here's my top 5 pieces of evidence that prove you don't need to know what you're doing to get ahead:
- I once spent an hour explaining to my project leader what the registry is and how to use it.
- An argument with the "Vice President of Information Technology" about the +30 second latency in the system. He insisted that it was a slow video card, rather than believe that his "poll 8000 devices down a 9600 baud serial link" could be to blame. Towards the end of the meeting he said to me: "You're skating on very thin ice now. Your boss is telling you to be quiet, so be quiet". How I wish I could have just a fraction of this man's charisma and leadership charm! X|
- "We don't need source control. Just copy your files onto the network before you go home and they'll be included in the network backup. Oh and don't worry about someone else copying over your stuff - the NTFS file permissions will prevent that from happening".
- The clueless kid (CEO's son) that blew an entire deal - and eventually took the company under because he didn't know the difference between "LCD" and "LED". After months of development the device was proudly presented to the customer, who immediately said "I wanted a bright red LED display on it. What the hell is that?"
- The boss that said "I like your idea of reusable components, but we don't want to tie the customer down to using Visual Basic, so write your own language to support them".
There's plenty more, but I've got some actual work to do here :-O
There are 10 kinds of people - those that get binary and those that don't.
At my previous job I was tortured as the lead architect in the Technical Research and Design team. (TuRDS for short ;P) We had several meetings with the manager for network management and in one of his documents he stated: Our strategical direction, long term, is deploying HTML 1.1. I pointed out to him that we were already at HTML 3.0 and that he meant HTTP 1.1. He insisted I was wrong in the meeting. Later I got a private email appologizing for his error and that I was correct. Of course, he never let anyone else know this! _____________________________________________ The world is a dangerous place.
Not because of those that do evil,
but because of those who look on and do nothing. -
My boss thought he knew more than the developers, since he was over them. We were having problems getting a Java designer application installed on a friend's PC. Since the boss knew everything, he decided to sit down and help. He grabbed a very think "Programming Java" book and started thumbing through it looking for the answer. After a minute or two he realized that he didn't recognize ANYTHING in the book, he finally saw a word that he recognized and said in an excited voice: "Ahh, 'Applet'" It's been a running joke ever since. Barry Etter
:laugh: Reminds me of my supervisor at a previous company. He would sit through meetings staring blankly and nodding appropriately, jotting things down in his notes. One time we took a gander at what he was writing.... Mashed Potatoes Milk Dog food :-D Thankfully, I currently work with 2 other programmers from that same company, so I can still get a good chuckle about it. BW "I don't remember, but I know we played together because I've seen the posters." - Joe Walsh talking with Ozzy Osbourne about touring together in the 70's
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If it makes you feel better, I once worked somewhere I had to run the specs through Babelfish into French and then back to English in order to get any sense out of them. -- Ian Darling
Just voted a 5 because noone could have made this up :eek: Elaine (shocked fluffy tigress) The tigress is here :-D
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If it makes you feel better, I once worked somewhere I had to run the specs through Babelfish into French and then back to English in order to get any sense out of them. -- Ian Darling
Ian Darling wrote: I once worked somewhere I had to run the specs through Babelfish into French and then back to English Did the specs come back all arrogant and snooty? -Jack
There are 10 types of people in this world, those that understand binary and those who don't.
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- Developers who want the latest greatest machines, an Italian made Espresso machine, T1 internet connections, bean bags instead of chairs, think all their co-workers are rubbish and still think it is fine to rock up at 10am, leaving by 4pm and refusing to come in on Saturday to catch up because a deadline they agreed to is on Monday
We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaChris Losinger wrote: i hate needles so much i can't even imagine allowing one near The Little Programmer
A new name to old Paul, grandpa Paul :-D Cheers, Kannan
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Just voted a 5 because noone could have made this up :eek: Elaine (shocked fluffy tigress) The tigress is here :-D
Absolutely true though. Then there was the time I realised what was actually meant in the spec by "Add Hock". And most of the specs were made up of PDP-BASIC psuedo code and fragmented sentences. And then there was the time the spec consisted of just a heading. Or just some screenshots mocked up in Delphi. Of course, I (eventually) left and am now working somewhere much better. I've also heard from one of my old colleagues (who can write and think clearly and is doing specs now), so it's probably improved somewhat. -- Ian Darling
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- Developers who want the latest greatest machines, an Italian made Espresso machine, T1 internet connections, bean bags instead of chairs, think all their co-workers are rubbish and still think it is fine to rock up at 10am, leaving by 4pm and refusing to come in on Saturday to catch up because a deadline they agreed to is on Monday
We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaChris Losinger wrote: i hate needles so much i can't even imagine allowing one near The Little Programmer
Paul Watson wrote: We should all try the other guys job for just one day before bitching about him. And given I've just finished doing that, do I get my bean-bag and "I'm allowed to bitch" badge? :laugh: (Yes, I'm joking :-)) -- Ian Darling
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Ian Darling wrote: I once worked somewhere I had to run the specs through Babelfish into French and then back to English Did the specs come back all arrogant and snooty? -Jack
There are 10 types of people in this world, those that understand binary and those who don't.
Jack Handy wrote: Did the specs come back all arrogant and snooty? Strangely not. I did get some interesting or strange terminology for things, but at least it was consistent. -- Ian Darling
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Vikram Punathambekar wrote: Grandpa Paul LOL. While insulting the OP might be akin to verbal suicide, this one's gotta be pretty close. Grandpa Paul, love it. :-D Chris Meech "what makes CP different is the people and sense of community, things people will only discover if they join up and join in." Christian Graus Nov 14, 2002. "And when you need to hire a programmer to do mostly VB programming, it's not good enough to hire a VB programmer, because they will get completely stuck in tar every time the VB abstraction leaks." Joel on Software Nov 11, 2002.
Chris Meech wrote: While insulting the OP might be akin to verbal suicide OP? :confused:
Vikram. ----------------------------- My soon-to-be-updated site KI klike KDE kand kuse kit, kbut KI kmust kadmit, kstarting kall knames kwith K kis ksilly. KI khope kthey kwill kgive kup kthis kwhole kscheme ksoon kand kcome kup kwith kreal knames. pI vThink aHungarian nNotation vIs iA aWonderful nThing cAnd pEveryone avShould vUse pIt aAll dThe nTime, adNo nMatter pWhat dThe nContext, adEven adWhen vSpeaking.
