Two weeks to go.. and then then a single word.
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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I know this song. :thumbsup:
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I know this song. :thumbsup:
The Rolling Stones - Sister Morphine [HQ] - YouTube[^]
The less you need, the more you have. Even a blind squirrel gets a nut...occasionally. JaxCoder.com
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
Keep up the good work!
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
Always liked Morphine, not the stuff but the band with Mark Sandman :-\ Morphine - Buena (Live on 2 Meter Sessions) - YouTube[^]
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
Pulling for you, praying for you. My brother in-law's brother in-law, was unable to quit, and died recently as a result. You child needs you. We all need you.
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
Pulling for you, praying for you. My brother in-law's brother in-law, was unable to quit, and died recently as a result. You child needs you. We all need you.
ed
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
That has to be the bravest thing I have read on this forum. :java::thumbsup::cool: I've had friends die from addiction and I've seen what it did to them over their lifetime. Facing one's demons and overcoming them is a lifetime struggle, but I have no doubt that you will overcome them. There's nothing like hearing a loving child call you by that name that inspires you more and provides the strength required. I'll be praying for you and your family and that the struggle you are going through quickly comes to an end.
"When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others; same thing when you are stupid." Ignorant - An individual without knowledge, but is willing to learn. Stupid - An individual without knowledge and is incapable of learning. Idiot - An individual without knowledge and allows social media to do the thinking for them.
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
Responsibility can be an equally strong drug. Feeling the love and responsibility for a child can be even stronger. Good luck!
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
Also pulling for you. Congratulations on taking the first steps, and ESPECIALLY congratulations on someone calling you Papa! I can understand addictions.. YEARS ago, I was on Valium (legit RX), I still crave it and refuse to touch the stuff.
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Also pulling for you. Congratulations on taking the first steps, and ESPECIALLY congratulations on someone calling you Papa! I can understand addictions.. YEARS ago, I was on Valium (legit RX), I still crave it and refuse to touch the stuff.
richwfowler wrote:
and ESPECIALLY congratulations on someone calling you
There is nothing better.
richwfowler wrote:
I can understand addictions.. YEARS ago, I was on Valium (legit RX), I still crave it and refuse to touch the stuff.
That's what I meant, I can break the physical bit in some time, but there will always be a dependency.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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Pulling for you, praying for you. My brother in-law's brother in-law, was unable to quit, and died recently as a result. You child needs you. We all need you.
ed
I am not needed; all will be fine without me. The "child" is 33 now and a mother. Hadn't spoken her for years, and then came that word. I was instantly broken.
Slow Eddie wrote:
My brother in-law's brother in-law, was unable to quit
There's no quitting something like that. Both morfine and heroine rob one of free will. Your bother in-laws brother in law will have suffered in his private heaven. I'd like to know his name, so I can pray for him.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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That has to be the bravest thing I have read on this forum. :java::thumbsup::cool: I've had friends die from addiction and I've seen what it did to them over their lifetime. Facing one's demons and overcoming them is a lifetime struggle, but I have no doubt that you will overcome them. There's nothing like hearing a loving child call you by that name that inspires you more and provides the strength required. I'll be praying for you and your family and that the struggle you are going through quickly comes to an end.
"When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others; same thing when you are stupid." Ignorant - An individual without knowledge, but is willing to learn. Stupid - An individual without knowledge and is incapable of learning. Idiot - An individual without knowledge and allows social media to do the thinking for them.
DonathanH wrote:
I've had friends die from addiction and I've seen what it did to them over their lifetime. Facing one's demons and overcoming them is a lifetime struggle, but I have no doubt that you will overcome them.
I did too and thought I knew better. Just some painkillers to help me do my work, nothing major.
DonathanH wrote:
There's nothing like hearing a loving child call you by that name
I was a bit unaware of the power of that word. She isn't mine, biological. We hadn't spoken in years. ..but that one sentence with that one word, knocked me of my feet. That word carries promises, implications, duties. In short, all I failed her in, and still she chose that word.
DonathanH wrote:
I'll be praying for you and your family and that the struggle you are going through quickly comes to an end.
It may not sound so, but I been blessed by the Gods and have no wishes left. All I wanted, I have received and more. Still, means a lot, and as an atheist I still pray. Some habits die hard. I'm waiting for "Slow Eddie"'s brother in laws' brother in law's' name. If you want to pray with me for him, with a lit candle?
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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Always liked Morphine, not the stuff but the band with Mark Sandman :-\ Morphine - Buena (Live on 2 Meter Sessions) - YouTube[^]
If you had a taste of the stuff, there would be an "and" instead of "not". Never met a person who disliked it.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
And I thought gambling and smoking addiction was bad - have all the strength and support you can get and I REALLY hope you don't need it all.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
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And I thought gambling and smoking addiction was bad - have all the strength and support you can get and I REALLY hope you don't need it all.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
Gambling can ruin a man just as well as this drug. "Got one foot on the platform, the other foot on the train."
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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In two and a half weeks I'm sober (in theory) I had expected the begin to be harder, but beginning something is easy. Being clean is also not that special; one never is really clean. Morfine is worse than alcohol. Not just a bit, but lots. Most of the new ones know me as a jerk; and I am, to be honest, hard to deny the truth. It wasn't always like that, as my history here shows. Can't blame the morfine, the emotions were mine even if they were enhanced (overdreven?). The change isn't me using less in two and a half week. The change was the word "papa". Biological I am not. I can no longer afford an addiction if someone names me that. All or nothing.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
Hi Eddy, May all the Angels protect you in your struggle to restore self-control, and, to accept the sudden, traumatic, change in your "family history." take care, Bill
«The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled» Plutarch
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Hi Eddy, May all the Angels protect you in your struggle to restore self-control, and, to accept the sudden, traumatic, change in your "family history." take care, Bill
«The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled» Plutarch
