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  3. Top 10 reasons NOT to use Project Management

Top 10 reasons NOT to use Project Management

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  • D Offline
    D Offline
    Daniel Pfeffer
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    [Project Management Humor!](http://www.hyperthot.com/proj\_2.htm) Top 10 Reasons NOT to Use Project Management (With apologies to David Letterman) 10. Our customers really love us, so they don't care if our products are late and don't work. 9. Organizing to manage projects isn't compatible with our culture, and the last thing we need around this place is change. 8. All our projects are easy, and they don't have cost, schedule, and technical risks anyway. 7. We aren't smart enough to implement project management without stifling creativity and offending our technical geniuses. 6. We might have to understand our customers' requirements and document a lot of stuff, and that is such a bother. 5. Project management requires integrity and courage, so they would have to pay me extra. 4. Our bosses won't provide the support needed for project management; they want us to get better results through magic. 3. We'd have to apply project management blindly to all projects regardless of size and complexity, and that would be stupid. 2. I know there is a well-developed project management body of knowledge, but I can't find it under this mess on my desk. 1. We figure it's more profitable to have 50% overruns than to spend 10% on project management to fix them. © Copyright 1996, Jim Chapman. Reprinted by Permission. (You have permission to reprint the above including the copyright notice and distribute it without charge.)

    Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

    T R L 4 Replies Last reply
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    • D Daniel Pfeffer

      [Project Management Humor!](http://www.hyperthot.com/proj\_2.htm) Top 10 Reasons NOT to Use Project Management (With apologies to David Letterman) 10. Our customers really love us, so they don't care if our products are late and don't work. 9. Organizing to manage projects isn't compatible with our culture, and the last thing we need around this place is change. 8. All our projects are easy, and they don't have cost, schedule, and technical risks anyway. 7. We aren't smart enough to implement project management without stifling creativity and offending our technical geniuses. 6. We might have to understand our customers' requirements and document a lot of stuff, and that is such a bother. 5. Project management requires integrity and courage, so they would have to pay me extra. 4. Our bosses won't provide the support needed for project management; they want us to get better results through magic. 3. We'd have to apply project management blindly to all projects regardless of size and complexity, and that would be stupid. 2. I know there is a well-developed project management body of knowledge, but I can't find it under this mess on my desk. 1. We figure it's more profitable to have 50% overruns than to spend 10% on project management to fix them. © Copyright 1996, Jim Chapman. Reprinted by Permission. (You have permission to reprint the above including the copyright notice and distribute it without charge.)

      Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

      T Offline
      T Offline
      Tony Hill
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      I prefer the quote by Sir John Harvey-Jones. Planning is an unnatural process; it is much more fun to do something. The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression.

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      • D Daniel Pfeffer

        [Project Management Humor!](http://www.hyperthot.com/proj\_2.htm) Top 10 Reasons NOT to Use Project Management (With apologies to David Letterman) 10. Our customers really love us, so they don't care if our products are late and don't work. 9. Organizing to manage projects isn't compatible with our culture, and the last thing we need around this place is change. 8. All our projects are easy, and they don't have cost, schedule, and technical risks anyway. 7. We aren't smart enough to implement project management without stifling creativity and offending our technical geniuses. 6. We might have to understand our customers' requirements and document a lot of stuff, and that is such a bother. 5. Project management requires integrity and courage, so they would have to pay me extra. 4. Our bosses won't provide the support needed for project management; they want us to get better results through magic. 3. We'd have to apply project management blindly to all projects regardless of size and complexity, and that would be stupid. 2. I know there is a well-developed project management body of knowledge, but I can't find it under this mess on my desk. 1. We figure it's more profitable to have 50% overruns than to spend 10% on project management to fix them. © Copyright 1996, Jim Chapman. Reprinted by Permission. (You have permission to reprint the above including the copyright notice and distribute it without charge.)

        Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

        R Offline
        R Offline
        RickZeeland
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Then I would advise not to visit this page on Slant: best-project-management-tools[^] :-\

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        • D Daniel Pfeffer

          [Project Management Humor!](http://www.hyperthot.com/proj\_2.htm) Top 10 Reasons NOT to Use Project Management (With apologies to David Letterman) 10. Our customers really love us, so they don't care if our products are late and don't work. 9. Organizing to manage projects isn't compatible with our culture, and the last thing we need around this place is change. 8. All our projects are easy, and they don't have cost, schedule, and technical risks anyway. 7. We aren't smart enough to implement project management without stifling creativity and offending our technical geniuses. 6. We might have to understand our customers' requirements and document a lot of stuff, and that is such a bother. 5. Project management requires integrity and courage, so they would have to pay me extra. 4. Our bosses won't provide the support needed for project management; they want us to get better results through magic. 3. We'd have to apply project management blindly to all projects regardless of size and complexity, and that would be stupid. 2. I know there is a well-developed project management body of knowledge, but I can't find it under this mess on my desk. 1. We figure it's more profitable to have 50% overruns than to spend 10% on project management to fix them. © Copyright 1996, Jim Chapman. Reprinted by Permission. (You have permission to reprint the above including the copyright notice and distribute it without charge.)

          Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          I just noticed that downvoting is disabled. :suss: 10 points without humor. Or perhaps you care to explain the "joke"?

          Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.

          S 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • L Lost User

            I just noticed that downvoting is disabled. :suss: 10 points without humor. Or perhaps you care to explain the "joke"?

            Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.

            S Offline
            S Offline
            Slacker007
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Always the party pooper, Eddy. A - l - w - a - y -s. :sigh:

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            • D Daniel Pfeffer

              [Project Management Humor!](http://www.hyperthot.com/proj\_2.htm) Top 10 Reasons NOT to Use Project Management (With apologies to David Letterman) 10. Our customers really love us, so they don't care if our products are late and don't work. 9. Organizing to manage projects isn't compatible with our culture, and the last thing we need around this place is change. 8. All our projects are easy, and they don't have cost, schedule, and technical risks anyway. 7. We aren't smart enough to implement project management without stifling creativity and offending our technical geniuses. 6. We might have to understand our customers' requirements and document a lot of stuff, and that is such a bother. 5. Project management requires integrity and courage, so they would have to pay me extra. 4. Our bosses won't provide the support needed for project management; they want us to get better results through magic. 3. We'd have to apply project management blindly to all projects regardless of size and complexity, and that would be stupid. 2. I know there is a well-developed project management body of knowledge, but I can't find it under this mess on my desk. 1. We figure it's more profitable to have 50% overruns than to spend 10% on project management to fix them. © Copyright 1996, Jim Chapman. Reprinted by Permission. (You have permission to reprint the above including the copyright notice and distribute it without charge.)

              Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              I actually worked at a place where the directors / whatever got a bonus depending on the size of the project. I was naive enough (not knowing of that perk) to suggest multiple deliverables that the user could use sooner. He F'd me off in an open office environment. That same guy made me expand reports by changing the layout because he did not understand / know you could change the fonts on laser printers to something smaller.

              "Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I

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