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  3. The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

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  • OriginalGriffO Offline
    OriginalGriffO Offline
    OriginalGriff
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    He asks the assistant "Do you have 'European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2'? I believe it was released this week." "Certainly," replies the assistant. "Would you like to listen before you buy it?" "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, "I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?" The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track. Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds." The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track. The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!" The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" "This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!" The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
    "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

    Mike HankeyM A G O 4 Replies Last reply
    0
    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

      He asks the assistant "Do you have 'European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2'? I believe it was released this week." "Certainly," replies the assistant. "Would you like to listen before you buy it?" "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, "I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?" The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track. Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds." The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track. The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!" The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" "This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!" The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

      Mike HankeyM Offline
      Mike HankeyM Offline
      Mike Hankey
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      *groan*

      The most expensive tool is a cheap tool. Gareth Branwyn JaxCoder.com

      M 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

        *groan*

        The most expensive tool is a cheap tool. Gareth Branwyn JaxCoder.com

        M Offline
        M Offline
        Marc Clifton
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Mike Hankey wrote:

        *groan*

        Seconded! I wonder how many youngins know what the B-side even is?

        Latest Article:
        Create a Digital Ocean Droplet for .NET Core Web API with a real SSL Certificate on a Domain

        Mike HankeyM T 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • M Marc Clifton

          Mike Hankey wrote:

          *groan*

          Seconded! I wonder how many youngins know what the B-side even is?

          Latest Article:
          Create a Digital Ocean Droplet for .NET Core Web API with a real SSL Certificate on a Domain

          Mike HankeyM Offline
          Mike HankeyM Offline
          Mike Hankey
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          And even of those that older records ran at 78rpm?

          The most expensive tool is a cheap tool. Gareth Branwyn JaxCoder.com

          OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

            And even of those that older records ran at 78rpm?

            The most expensive tool is a cheap tool. Gareth Branwyn JaxCoder.com

            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriff
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Bring back wax cylinders, that's what I say! :-D When I was at Uni, a mate bought his first car - gawd knows how old it was, but it had a starting handle ... and a radio with actual valves in it, so it took about two minutes to warm up before you could hear anything.

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
            "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

            E 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • M Marc Clifton

              Mike Hankey wrote:

              *groan*

              Seconded! I wonder how many youngins know what the B-side even is?

              Latest Article:
              Create a Digital Ocean Droplet for .NET Core Web API with a real SSL Certificate on a Domain

              T Offline
              T Offline
              trønderen
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              You could have been tipped off by "lifts the needle onto the next track". Youngsters have no idea what that means, either.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                He asks the assistant "Do you have 'European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2'? I believe it was released this week." "Certainly," replies the assistant. "Would you like to listen before you buy it?" "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, "I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?" The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track. Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds." The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track. The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!" The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" "This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!" The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

                "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                A Offline
                A Offline
                Amarnath S
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                I remember a elderly faculty member having issues with reading a 5 1/4 inch floppy disk. He tried several times and it wouldn't read. He then called my classmate, who found out that all the while he was inserting it upside down. The student taught the teacher how to insert a floppy disk correctly into its drive.

                K 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                  He asks the assistant "Do you have 'European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2'? I believe it was released this week." "Certainly," replies the assistant. "Would you like to listen before you buy it?" "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, "I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?" The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track. Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds." The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track. The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!" The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" "This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!" The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

                  "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  Gary R Wheeler
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Hold still Griff. We're going to have to hurt you now.

                  Software Zen: delete this;

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                    He asks the assistant "Do you have 'European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2'? I believe it was released this week." "Certainly," replies the assistant. "Would you like to listen before you buy it?" "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, "I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?" The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track. Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds." The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track. The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!" The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" "This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!" The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

                    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                    O Offline
                    O Offline
                    obermd
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    My boss gives me "demerits" for bad puns. A shortened version of this one got me 33 1/3 demerits. :-D

                    OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • O obermd

                      My boss gives me "demerits" for bad puns. A shortened version of this one got me 33 1/3 demerits. :-D

                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                      OriginalGriff
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Could have been worse: it might have been a single instead of an LP. Or even worse, a 78! :laugh:

                      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                        Bring back wax cylinders, that's what I say! :-D When I was at Uni, a mate bought his first car - gawd knows how old it was, but it had a starting handle ... and a radio with actual valves in it, so it took about two minutes to warm up before you could hear anything.

                        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                        E Offline
                        E Offline
                        englebart
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        I think you mean tubes (glass vacuum tubes). They are kind of like a valve. I think they would blow out like incandescent light bulbs. I remember going to a store with my father to buy a replacement tube for the radio or amp one time.

                        OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • E englebart

                          I think you mean tubes (glass vacuum tubes). They are kind of like a valve. I think they would blow out like incandescent light bulbs. I remember going to a store with my father to buy a replacement tube for the radio or amp one time.

                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriff
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          They were called "valves" in Right Pond.

                          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • A Amarnath S

                            I remember a elderly faculty member having issues with reading a 5 1/4 inch floppy disk. He tried several times and it wouldn't read. He then called my classmate, who found out that all the while he was inserting it upside down. The student taught the teacher how to insert a floppy disk correctly into its drive.

                            K Offline
                            K Offline
                            Kelly Herald
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Those people who had a Commodore 64 with the 1541 disk drive would know that you could flip the disk over and write to the other side as well. Of course you had to clip a second notch on the side of the disk to allow writing.

                            Kelly Herald Software Developer

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