Problems at work
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If you are not responsible for their performance then go limp on them, no discussion, no pointing out their errors and no responding to anything but professional and work related discussions. Become the consummate professional, totally focussed on your performance. Work places are not necessarily a social environment.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
Thanks for your advice, but that's not really how I want to work, but I can use it as a last resort of course ...
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The work relationship with two of my colleagues is getting worse, its not a beating quarrel yet, but I think its escalating. One of them, the older one, apparently still has a grudge against me because I corrected him long ago on the subject of strong naming. The younger one is now starting to ignore me and refuses to cooperate when I try to point out something to him. I know the older colleague is inciting him behind my back as my relation with the younger colleague was fine in the beginning. Does anyone has any advice how to handle situations like this? I already mailed them that I want to talk about the situation and don't want this to escalate any further.
You might want to include an impartial 4th (in this case) party. Someone who can control the meeting and keep everything on track so it doesn't degenerate into shouting, name calling, and fisticuffs. If your company has HR they might be able to get that impartial party.
I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.
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You might want to include an impartial 4th (in this case) party. Someone who can control the meeting and keep everything on track so it doesn't degenerate into shouting, name calling, and fisticuffs. If your company has HR they might be able to get that impartial party.
I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.
Thanks for the suggestion, but I think that will not be necessary, the younger colleague already apologized via Whatsapp and showed a positive attitude. Tomorrow I will have a chat with the older colleague.
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The work relationship with two of my colleagues is getting worse, its not a beating quarrel yet, but I think its escalating. One of them, the older one, apparently still has a grudge against me because I corrected him long ago on the subject of strong naming. The younger one is now starting to ignore me and refuses to cooperate when I try to point out something to him. I know the older colleague is inciting him behind my back as my relation with the younger colleague was fine in the beginning. Does anyone has any advice how to handle situations like this? I already mailed them that I want to talk about the situation and don't want this to escalate any further.
RickZeeland wrote:
The work relationship with two of my colleagues
It is not possible to be friends with everyone in the world. And some will actively dislike you.
RickZeeland wrote:
I already mailed them
If I have a friend and piss them off then talking to them will hopefully fix it. But other people - my life is too short for that nonsense.
RickZeeland wrote:
Does anyone has any advice how to handle situations like this?
I write code that works very well. And the majority of the people that I work with recognize that. So if someone attempts to denigrate that behind my back the other people will just recognize it as stupidity. Might note as well that I never denigrate others. Regardless of the situation.
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RickZeeland wrote:
my attempts to make them enthousiastic for CP were in vain
Honestly makes me suspicious about them. Why didn't they like it? Are they not interested in learning and growing? Maybe they truly aren't Growth mindset but are actually Fixed mindset. In that case it will be difficult to resolve the issues. I commend you for honestly opening up and trying. Unfortunately, some people are Fixed in their ways and don't want to be changed at all. Good luck and I hope you can work it out. :thumbsup:
raddevus wrote:
Are they not interested in learning and growing?
TBH due to my line of work I learned very little on CP apart from some curiosities. This is basically a nerd recreational platform for me :D
GCS/GE d--(d) s-/+ a C+++ U+++ P-- L+@ E-- W+++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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Makes me think about "breaking the ice" by giving some informal praise (in a smart way) to a team colleague, as this makes own position stronger and can improve the level of trust ... Building trust happens step by step, but bridge building should be recognized by the team otherwise it does not serve the purpose ... :-)
And in a similar vein, making sure that you balance any criticsm / correction with praise / affirmation. And not just in the same breath, as in "you did A well but got B wrong". I mean make sure that you sometimes give wholly positive feedback; "Hey, you did a really good job with X". They'll be waiting for the "but..." but don't give it to them. If most of the time they like what they hear you saying, they'll accept the occasional negative stuff much more easily.
Telegraph marker posts ... nothing to do with IT Phasmid email discussion group ... also nothing to do with IT Beekeeping and honey site ... still nothing to do with IT
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raddevus wrote:
Are they not interested in learning and growing?
TBH due to my line of work I learned very little on CP apart from some curiosities. This is basically a nerd recreational platform for me :D
GCS/GE d--(d) s-/+ a C+++ U+++ P-- L+@ E-- W+++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
den2k88 wrote:
This is basically a nerd recreational platform for me
How dare you!! CP Guard: <Collars den2k88> <Takes CP Member Card, places in shredder> <Boots den2k88 out door> <brushes hands off> Well, good riddance to bad rubbish. :laugh: Please know this is a joke.
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Thanks for the suggestion, but I think that will not be necessary, the younger colleague already apologized via Whatsapp and showed a positive attitude. Tomorrow I will have a chat with the older colleague.
Well that's good. But still, if you think the chat with the older person might become contentious. . ..
I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.
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Well that's good. But still, if you think the chat with the older person might become contentious. . ..
I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.
I had a talk with the older colleague, apologized if I had treated him unfair, and the air is cleared now luckily.
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I had a talk with the older colleague, apologized if I had treated him unfair, and the air is cleared now luckily.
Oh man, that's too bad. Kinda was hoping for a ThunderDome moment. Two men enter, one man leaves.
I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.