Something I have never heard
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Gawd I hate that - the worst bit is when they stop the musak and get your hopes up of an actual human only to be told "your call is important to us" and back to the musak. When I ran the company, the hold music was Monty Python Sings[^] - until I got complaints from my mother that "Sit on my face (and tell me that you love me)" and "The Penis Song" weren't really appropriate ... :-O
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
Many years ago, I maintained the Music on Hold for our company - lots of classic rock, blues, etc. Interesting when the randomizer would go from Pasty Cline to Led Zeppelin to Howling Wolf. It was rewarding to walk by co-workers' office and hear them listening to it while working. The owner, on more than on occasion, came in and told me how many clients would ask "Where did you get your On-hold music?". As much as I would have liked to have added The Bloodhound Gangs' Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo or Farting with a Walkman On, I found discretion the better part of valor. :) Hey, don't get me going on the Christmas playlist!
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Many years ago, I maintained the Music on Hold for our company - lots of classic rock, blues, etc. Interesting when the randomizer would go from Pasty Cline to Led Zeppelin to Howling Wolf. It was rewarding to walk by co-workers' office and hear them listening to it while working. The owner, on more than on occasion, came in and told me how many clients would ask "Where did you get your On-hold music?". As much as I would have liked to have added The Bloodhound Gangs' Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo or Farting with a Walkman On, I found discretion the better part of valor. :) Hey, don't get me going on the Christmas playlist!
vaxman9 wrote:
Hey, don't get me going on the Christmas playlist!
I'd want to start with Kevin Bloody Wilson: "Ho Ho ****ing Ho" ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Thank you for calling Brand X. Your call may be recorded for quality purposes. We are experiencing a lower than normal call volume so you may speak with any support representative of your choosing.
We are experiencing a lower than normal call volume ... so you may not be able to hear what we are saying 😸
Paul Sanders. If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter - Blaise Pascal. Some of my best work is in the undo buffer.
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Thank you for calling Brand X. Your call may be recorded for quality purposes. We are experiencing a lower than normal call volume so you may speak with any support representative of your choosing.
Craig Robbins wrote:
We are experiencing a lower than normal call volume [because we disconnect 4 out of 5 callers] so you may speak with any support representative of your choosing [use of our phone directory is a violation of your contract and will terminate our services with you]
FTFY.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
Thank you for calling Brand X. Your call may be recorded for quality purposes. We are experiencing a lower than normal call volume so you may speak with any support representative of your choosing.
I had a weird one yesterday: "Your call and the hold period will be recorded for training purposes", they want to hear you cursing under your breath about how long you've been on hold?
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Thank you for calling Brand X. Your call may be recorded for quality purposes. We are experiencing a lower than normal call volume so you may speak with any support representative of your choosing.
"Thank you for calling us. A representative will be with you shortly..." Then the other end goes dead...
Steve Naidamast Sr. Software Engineer Black Falcon Software, Inc. blackfalconsoftware@outlook.com
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Gawd I hate that - the worst bit is when they stop the musak and get your hopes up of an actual human only to be told "your call is important to us" and back to the musak. When I ran the company, the hold music was Monty Python Sings[^] - until I got complaints from my mother that "Sit on my face (and tell me that you love me)" and "The Penis Song" weren't really appropriate ... :-O
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote:
until I got complaints from my mother that
You made your mother call the help line? Interesting family dynamic...
Nah, she just rang me at work and got put on hold while they found me. :-D
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Thank you for calling Brand X. Your call may be recorded for quality purposes. We are experiencing a lower than normal call volume so you may speak with any support representative of your choosing.
When it's "fully automated" it's the worst. When trying to get my cable set up with Verizon I was caught in an endless loop of reporting that my cable wasn't working. after waiting for hours on hold, someone would transfer me to "someone that could help". Instead I'd get a recording that says it would check my line. ...Followed by the recording saying "Your device is now working! Please call back if you have any other [needs/etc]" [ back to a new call... try to convince them to re-open the original case number ] That went on for days, I'd have to shout "wait don't transfer me yet!" if I got a human on the line. Finally a service call. A guy in a fancy truck who arrived and spent nine hours at my house - and he had to go through the SAME SYSTEM!
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When it's "fully automated" it's the worst. When trying to get my cable set up with Verizon I was caught in an endless loop of reporting that my cable wasn't working. after waiting for hours on hold, someone would transfer me to "someone that could help". Instead I'd get a recording that says it would check my line. ...Followed by the recording saying "Your device is now working! Please call back if you have any other [needs/etc]" [ back to a new call... try to convince them to re-open the original case number ] That went on for days, I'd have to shout "wait don't transfer me yet!" if I got a human on the line. Finally a service call. A guy in a fancy truck who arrived and spent nine hours at my house - and he had to go through the SAME SYSTEM!
I've found that for some of these systems if I pound on the '*' key on the phone's keypad, I bypass the fricking "press 1 for xxxxx, press 2 for yyyyy" and go right to a (not necessarily competent nor understandable) human service rep.
