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  3. What Is Your Most Valuable Life Skill?

What Is Your Most Valuable Life Skill?

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  • S Steve Raw

    As software developers, I think we can agree that our coding skills are universally applicable. In my experience, there have been more than a few instances where my work has evoked comments from others expressing disbelief. It's funny because you hear the same things over and over again. "Woah, how did you do that?", and "Where did you learn to do that?", and of course the "You suck" comments. Knowing how to code is certainly a very valuable life skill to have. But, what about other skills? In what other areas do you have knowledge or experience with? What are they, and how do you use them? How are they of benefit to you? Is it worthwhile for others to learn these skills? Why, or why not?

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    B Offline
    Bruce Patin
    wrote on last edited by
    #31

    Somehow people talk to me, telling me all sorts of things that are important to them. Maybe because I listen.

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    • E englebart

      I had the same thought. 1. Allowing heart to beat 2. Breathing 3. … Breathing is key to stress release! I use it multiple times an hour at work.

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      Matt Bond
      wrote on last edited by
      #32

      Those aren't skills but rather reflexes/body processes :)

      Bond Keep all things as simple as possible, but no simpler. -said someone, somewhere

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      • M MarkTJohnson

        Does breathing count?

        I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated. I’m begging you for the benefit of everyone, don’t be STUPID.

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        S Offline
        sasadler
        wrote on last edited by
        #33

        Heh, beat me to it!

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        • S Steve Raw

          As software developers, I think we can agree that our coding skills are universally applicable. In my experience, there have been more than a few instances where my work has evoked comments from others expressing disbelief. It's funny because you hear the same things over and over again. "Woah, how did you do that?", and "Where did you learn to do that?", and of course the "You suck" comments. Knowing how to code is certainly a very valuable life skill to have. But, what about other skills? In what other areas do you have knowledge or experience with? What are they, and how do you use them? How are they of benefit to you? Is it worthwhile for others to learn these skills? Why, or why not?

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          Paul Sanders the other one
          wrote on last edited by
          #34

          Kindness

          Paul Sanders. If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter - Blaise Pascal. Some of my best work is in the undo buffer.

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          • S Steve Raw

            As software developers, I think we can agree that our coding skills are universally applicable. In my experience, there have been more than a few instances where my work has evoked comments from others expressing disbelief. It's funny because you hear the same things over and over again. "Woah, how did you do that?", and "Where did you learn to do that?", and of course the "You suck" comments. Knowing how to code is certainly a very valuable life skill to have. But, what about other skills? In what other areas do you have knowledge or experience with? What are they, and how do you use them? How are they of benefit to you? Is it worthwhile for others to learn these skills? Why, or why not?

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            K Offline
            Kent K
            wrote on last edited by
            #35

            Hmm, it's multiple, all related to building and fixing things. It's a curse, too, because I somehow can't get out of the rut/feeling that I should/must? repair and build EVERYTHING that breaks or that I want/need in life. That is, I basically have not, in my half a century+ of life, ever called a plumber, electrician, auto mechanic*, appliance/lawn & garden/heavy equipment mechanic. . .or for any home improvements. :sigh: :sigh: :sigh: *there were 2 times where I had some more time consuming major repairs needed to a vehicle but had no indoor location in the winter months to work on it and/or it was when I had small children/family + full time job where I just didn't have the time to tackle it myself. So yeah, I guess this would entail the skills in woodworking, construction (excavation/concrete/framing/siding/roofing/wiring/tiling), welding, small and large engine mechanics, some electronics.

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            • S Steve Raw

              As software developers, I think we can agree that our coding skills are universally applicable. In my experience, there have been more than a few instances where my work has evoked comments from others expressing disbelief. It's funny because you hear the same things over and over again. "Woah, how did you do that?", and "Where did you learn to do that?", and of course the "You suck" comments. Knowing how to code is certainly a very valuable life skill to have. But, what about other skills? In what other areas do you have knowledge or experience with? What are they, and how do you use them? How are they of benefit to you? Is it worthwhile for others to learn these skills? Why, or why not?

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              U Offline
              User 13269747
              wrote on last edited by
              #36

              >

              Quote:

              In what other areas do you have knowledge or experience with? What are they, and how do you use them?

              The thing that made a colleague go "Woah - how did you do that?" was when his car broke down in the company parking lot with a snapped clutch cable, and I drove it all the way to his home without once needing the clutch[1] even though I worked it through all five gears, both changing up and changing down. [1] Stalled at every stop, started with a jerk after every stop.

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              • K Kent K

                Hmm, it's multiple, all related to building and fixing things. It's a curse, too, because I somehow can't get out of the rut/feeling that I should/must? repair and build EVERYTHING that breaks or that I want/need in life. That is, I basically have not, in my half a century+ of life, ever called a plumber, electrician, auto mechanic*, appliance/lawn & garden/heavy equipment mechanic. . .or for any home improvements. :sigh: :sigh: :sigh: *there were 2 times where I had some more time consuming major repairs needed to a vehicle but had no indoor location in the winter months to work on it and/or it was when I had small children/family + full time job where I just didn't have the time to tackle it myself. So yeah, I guess this would entail the skills in woodworking, construction (excavation/concrete/framing/siding/roofing/wiring/tiling), welding, small and large engine mechanics, some electronics.

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                S Offline
                Steve Raw
                wrote on last edited by
                #37

                Kent K wrote:

                Hmm, it's multiple, all related to building and fixing things. It's a curse, too, because I somehow can't get out of the rut/feeling that I should/must? repair and build EVERYTHING that breaks or that I want/need in life. That is, I basically have not, in my half a century+ of life, ever called a plumber, electrician, auto mechanic*, appliance/lawn & garden/heavy equipment mechanic. . .or for any home improvements. :sigh: :sigh: :sigh:

                That's a great set of skills to have. I'm not just referring to building or fixing things, but I'm referring to any mechanical system. Air compressors, phones, power tools, cars, and various other things. As time progresses, technology advances and I've come to find that it gets more difficult to repair these things on your own. Taking something apart is easy, but knowing how to reassemble the item after repairing it requires more and more obscure tools, as well as sophisticated knowledge. I'm glad we have YouTube, because the knowledge needed to repair more advanced systems can't be done without it. I used to be able to do this stuff through basic mechanical skills, and intuition. The one exception where I have failed (epically failed) is in fixing the rotating control knob on an old clothes dryer. Sounds simple enough, right? Ha! Nope. After taking it apart, I was glad to see that I could go about repairing it without dealing with any electronics. Little did I know that the nested arrays of metal pins allowing the knob to operate the functions of the clothes dryer were extremely complex. I gave it a try, but soon realized I needed a trained technician with the proper tools to do the job.

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                • S Steve Raw

                  As software developers, I think we can agree that our coding skills are universally applicable. In my experience, there have been more than a few instances where my work has evoked comments from others expressing disbelief. It's funny because you hear the same things over and over again. "Woah, how did you do that?", and "Where did you learn to do that?", and of course the "You suck" comments. Knowing how to code is certainly a very valuable life skill to have. But, what about other skills? In what other areas do you have knowledge or experience with? What are they, and how do you use them? How are they of benefit to you? Is it worthwhile for others to learn these skills? Why, or why not?

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                  B Offline
                  BernardIE5317
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #38

                  brown .

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                  • S Steve Raw

                    As software developers, I think we can agree that our coding skills are universally applicable. In my experience, there have been more than a few instances where my work has evoked comments from others expressing disbelief. It's funny because you hear the same things over and over again. "Woah, how did you do that?", and "Where did you learn to do that?", and of course the "You suck" comments. Knowing how to code is certainly a very valuable life skill to have. But, what about other skills? In what other areas do you have knowledge or experience with? What are they, and how do you use them? How are they of benefit to you? Is it worthwhile for others to learn these skills? Why, or why not?

                    B Offline
                    B Offline
                    BernardIE5317
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #39

                    treating my Κώδικαςέργοπαράξενοςαίθουσααναμονήςσυζήτησηφοβία . also Sitting .

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                    • J Juan Pablo Reyes Altamirano

                      As a computer engineer, I assume every other computer engineer is as competent. That said, one inherited habit and one acquired, persistence and humility should be deemed essential. In the pursuit of happiness, life throws many curve balls, so sometimes you have to do what's necessary to outlive a situation. Gotta eat and sleep before you conquer the world.

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                      GuyThiebaut
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #40

                      Juan Pablo Reyes Altamirano wrote:

                      As a computer engineer, I assume every other computer engineer is as competent.

                      That's the Dunning Kruger effect[^] Most people who know about this effect know that is is associated with people who have a bit of knowledge/experience incorrectly thinking that they know a lot, the converse is also part of this effect in that those who know a lot assume that others know/understand a lot on a particular area too.

                      “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

                      ― Christopher Hitchens

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                      • S Steve Raw

                        As software developers, I think we can agree that our coding skills are universally applicable. In my experience, there have been more than a few instances where my work has evoked comments from others expressing disbelief. It's funny because you hear the same things over and over again. "Woah, how did you do that?", and "Where did you learn to do that?", and of course the "You suck" comments. Knowing how to code is certainly a very valuable life skill to have. But, what about other skills? In what other areas do you have knowledge or experience with? What are they, and how do you use them? How are they of benefit to you? Is it worthwhile for others to learn these skills? Why, or why not?

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                        A Offline
                        Amarnath S
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #41

                        Just saw this thread now. For me, they seem to be: Ability to explain things in simple language, of course, in my native Kannada language. For example, i recently mentored a girl in middle school, who was getting about 50 percent score in her elementary maths, and now she is consistently scoring more than 90 percent. All in a three month period. Motivating others. For example, I recently motivated an Indian student studying for his Master's in the US, and he successfully completed his first semester.

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                        • G GuyThiebaut

                          Juan Pablo Reyes Altamirano wrote:

                          As a computer engineer, I assume every other computer engineer is as competent.

                          That's the Dunning Kruger effect[^] Most people who know about this effect know that is is associated with people who have a bit of knowledge/experience incorrectly thinking that they know a lot, the converse is also part of this effect in that those who know a lot assume that others know/understand a lot on a particular area too.

                          “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

                          ― Christopher Hitchens

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                          S Offline
                          Steve Raw
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #42

                          GuyThiebaut wrote:

                          That's the Dunning Kruger effect[^] Most people who know about this effect know that is is associated with people who have a bit of knowledge/experience incorrectly thinking that they know a lot, the converse is also part of this effect in that those who know a lot assume that others know/understand a lot on a particular area too.

                          The Dunning-Kruger effect is also correlated to scores on IQ tests. Lack of education, or should I say willful ignorance, seems to be consistently accompanied by audacious arrogance. Some people are convinced they have knowledge and understanding far beyond that of anyone who has earned a doctorate from MIT. Several of my family members are evangelical Christians. They scoff at education. They believe whatever their church pastor says -- no matter how nonsensical it is -- to be the absolute truth. Any time one of these family members visits a medical doctor, they return home and preach to anyone within hearing distance about how "doctors don't know anything" in addition to all sorts of other verbal lambasting. They dictate that medical science is the work of the devil, vaccination is a conspiracy, fluoride is poisonous, pharmaceutical companies are sinister, baseless natural "cures" eliminate incurable diseases, and the list goes on... Each time, I ask these people the same question. Why would you suppose that any person who has studied medicine for 7+ years irrefutably knows nothing? Does medical school unconditionally rob all of its graduates of knowledge in science and medicine? If that's the case, then it must mean that to be a good doctor, one must have completed as little education as possible. Only the people who are thoroughly indoctrinated by religion and entirely brainwashed by the church believe they are the authority on truth. When the conversation inevitably turns to statements such as "I learned on Youtube", or "The people at church say...", I realize that all hope is lost and I walk away.

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                          • A Amarnath S

                            Just saw this thread now. For me, they seem to be: Ability to explain things in simple language, of course, in my native Kannada language. For example, i recently mentored a girl in middle school, who was getting about 50 percent score in her elementary maths, and now she is consistently scoring more than 90 percent. All in a three month period. Motivating others. For example, I recently motivated an Indian student studying for his Master's in the US, and he successfully completed his first semester.

                            S Offline
                            S Offline
                            Steve Raw
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #43

                            Amarnath S wrote:

                            For example, i recently mentored a girl in middle school, who was getting about 50 percent score in her elementary maths, and now she is consistently scoring more than 90 percent. All in a three month period. Motivating others. For example, I recently motivated an Indian student studying for his Master's in the US, and he successfully completed his first semester.

                            I think your efforts to educate and motivate others are admirable. You're making the world a better place for everyone. :thumbsup:

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                            • S Steve Raw

                              GuyThiebaut wrote:

                              That's the Dunning Kruger effect[^] Most people who know about this effect know that is is associated with people who have a bit of knowledge/experience incorrectly thinking that they know a lot, the converse is also part of this effect in that those who know a lot assume that others know/understand a lot on a particular area too.

                              The Dunning-Kruger effect is also correlated to scores on IQ tests. Lack of education, or should I say willful ignorance, seems to be consistently accompanied by audacious arrogance. Some people are convinced they have knowledge and understanding far beyond that of anyone who has earned a doctorate from MIT. Several of my family members are evangelical Christians. They scoff at education. They believe whatever their church pastor says -- no matter how nonsensical it is -- to be the absolute truth. Any time one of these family members visits a medical doctor, they return home and preach to anyone within hearing distance about how "doctors don't know anything" in addition to all sorts of other verbal lambasting. They dictate that medical science is the work of the devil, vaccination is a conspiracy, fluoride is poisonous, pharmaceutical companies are sinister, baseless natural "cures" eliminate incurable diseases, and the list goes on... Each time, I ask these people the same question. Why would you suppose that any person who has studied medicine for 7+ years irrefutably knows nothing? Does medical school unconditionally rob all of its graduates of knowledge in science and medicine? If that's the case, then it must mean that to be a good doctor, one must have completed as little education as possible. Only the people who are thoroughly indoctrinated by religion and entirely brainwashed by the church believe they are the authority on truth. When the conversation inevitably turns to statements such as "I learned on Youtube", or "The people at church say...", I realize that all hope is lost and I walk away.

                              J Offline
                              J Offline
                              jschell
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #44

                              Steve Raw wrote:

                              Lack of education, or should I say willful ignorance, seems to be consistently accompanied by audacious arrogance. Some people are convinced they have knowledge and understanding far beyond that of anyone who has earned a doctorate from MIT.

                              Studies have demonstrated that lack of education is probably not a factor in that. Magazines of 'Skeptic' and 'Skeptical Inquirer' have published numerous articles of studies that attempt to demonstrate correlations. Those will little education seems somewhat more resistant to wild claims. As an example affluent educated people also have their own beliefs about vaccines being dangerous.

                              Steve Raw wrote:

                              Only the people who are thoroughly indoctrinated by religion and entirely brainwashed by the church believe they are the authority on truth

                              That is a generalization. There does seem to be some correlation between mystical beliefs of any kind and more acceptance of conspiracy theories. But not necessarily a specific conspiracy theory. Whether that leads to anything else has not been shown.

                              Steve Raw wrote:

                              Each time, I ask these people the same question.

                              There are now numerous studies that show that attempting to prove or worse belittle others beliefs not only does not change their view but rather increases their belief. The best process seems to be to accept their views, which means understanding them, then talking them through to a point where those views provide a contradiction that those people themselves recognize. So you can't just point it out. Rather you must lead them to discover it themselves.

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                              • J jschell

                                Steve Raw wrote:

                                Lack of education, or should I say willful ignorance, seems to be consistently accompanied by audacious arrogance. Some people are convinced they have knowledge and understanding far beyond that of anyone who has earned a doctorate from MIT.

                                Studies have demonstrated that lack of education is probably not a factor in that. Magazines of 'Skeptic' and 'Skeptical Inquirer' have published numerous articles of studies that attempt to demonstrate correlations. Those will little education seems somewhat more resistant to wild claims. As an example affluent educated people also have their own beliefs about vaccines being dangerous.

                                Steve Raw wrote:

                                Only the people who are thoroughly indoctrinated by religion and entirely brainwashed by the church believe they are the authority on truth

                                That is a generalization. There does seem to be some correlation between mystical beliefs of any kind and more acceptance of conspiracy theories. But not necessarily a specific conspiracy theory. Whether that leads to anything else has not been shown.

                                Steve Raw wrote:

                                Each time, I ask these people the same question.

                                There are now numerous studies that show that attempting to prove or worse belittle others beliefs not only does not change their view but rather increases their belief. The best process seems to be to accept their views, which means understanding them, then talking them through to a point where those views provide a contradiction that those people themselves recognize. So you can't just point it out. Rather you must lead them to discover it themselves.

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                                Steve Raw
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #45

                                jschell wrote:

                                That is a generalization.

                                LOL. Okay, you got me there. Sweeping generalizations are a thought fallacy. While that statement may not be entirely true, it can't be discounted as false. As for my experience, having grown up attending church and private Christian school, I cannot deny what I have experienced.

                                jschell wrote:

                                Studies have demonstrated that lack of education is probably not a factor in that. Magazines of 'Skeptic' and 'Skeptical Inquirer' have published numerous articles of studies that attempt to demonstrate correlations. Those will little education seems somewhat more resistant to wild claims.

                                I've never heard of such studies. I'm not familiar with those magazines. Studies that confirm what I'm saying here provide strong evidence to support my argument. What's the evidence for the counterargument?

                                jschell wrote:

                                There are now numerous studies that show that attempting to prove or worse belittle others beliefs not only does not change their view but rather increases their belief.

                                Exactly. But, here's the thing. I'm belittled by them. It's that moral superiority complex that makes them so condescending. I can't argue otherwise.

                                jschell wrote:

                                The best process seems to be to accept their views, which means understanding them, then talking them through to a point where those views provide a contradiction that those people themselves recognize. So you can't just point it out. Rather you must lead them to discover it themselves.

                                That may work in many cases. I can't speak for others, but in my family, I've done my best to acknowledge their beliefs and did just as you said. Long ago, I learned how they weaponize religion to gain as much power and control over others as possible. When they have power, they abuse it. Just because someone is Christian, that doesn't necessarily mean they are good people. Some of the most malicious people I've ever known attend church regularly, read their bible, and do an excellent job fooling the world with the facade they create to hide their true nature. Some of my family members serve as excellent examples for this.

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                                • S Steve Raw

                                  jschell wrote:

                                  That is a generalization.

                                  LOL. Okay, you got me there. Sweeping generalizations are a thought fallacy. While that statement may not be entirely true, it can't be discounted as false. As for my experience, having grown up attending church and private Christian school, I cannot deny what I have experienced.

                                  jschell wrote:

                                  Studies have demonstrated that lack of education is probably not a factor in that. Magazines of 'Skeptic' and 'Skeptical Inquirer' have published numerous articles of studies that attempt to demonstrate correlations. Those will little education seems somewhat more resistant to wild claims.

                                  I've never heard of such studies. I'm not familiar with those magazines. Studies that confirm what I'm saying here provide strong evidence to support my argument. What's the evidence for the counterargument?

                                  jschell wrote:

                                  There are now numerous studies that show that attempting to prove or worse belittle others beliefs not only does not change their view but rather increases their belief.

                                  Exactly. But, here's the thing. I'm belittled by them. It's that moral superiority complex that makes them so condescending. I can't argue otherwise.

                                  jschell wrote:

                                  The best process seems to be to accept their views, which means understanding them, then talking them through to a point where those views provide a contradiction that those people themselves recognize. So you can't just point it out. Rather you must lead them to discover it themselves.

                                  That may work in many cases. I can't speak for others, but in my family, I've done my best to acknowledge their beliefs and did just as you said. Long ago, I learned how they weaponize religion to gain as much power and control over others as possible. When they have power, they abuse it. Just because someone is Christian, that doesn't necessarily mean they are good people. Some of the most malicious people I've ever known attend church regularly, read their bible, and do an excellent job fooling the world with the facade they create to hide their true nature. Some of my family members serve as excellent examples for this.

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                                  J Offline
                                  jschell
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #46

                                  Steve Raw wrote:

                                  Some of my family members serve as excellent examples for this.

                                  However my response had nothing to do with family dynamics nor individuals.

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                                  • K kholsinger

                                    I was also going to say "translating." I was thinking more of between groups of my "internal customers" in the company. Translating desires between laser physics folk, marketing, mechanical engineers, firmware/software engineers, electronics engineers, R&D management. And then there's translating field failure reports into something useful.

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                                    jochance
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #47

                                    "I already told you! I talk to the engineers...." lol Yes though. I've worked with a bunch of the world at least so far as people who spoke languages I do not. When people translate from their native to English they can say things in English which are exactly the same words as someone who has a different native language doing the same thing. But these people mean different things. You only know that if you know them or if you know the common ways the individual/individual's culture tend to phrase things in English.

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                                    • M Marc Clifton

                                      Translating what the customer says they want ("customer" includes "manager" for those that may remember when TQM / ISO-9000 was all the rage) into what they actually need. This can be generalized to any relationship. ;)

                                      Latest Articles:
                                      A Lightweight Thread Safe In-Memory Keyed Generic Cache Collection Service A Dynamic Where Implementation for Entity Framework

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                                      jochance
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #48

                                      I was reading others for inspiration, but I don't even need inspiration. This is the one. Which really, if we're simplifying a bit, it comes down to empathy. Put yourself in customer shoes with customer problems but with your own technical chops to figure out what to do about them. But I also think if you develop this skill then you can be really useful outside yourself. You can also be a contributor who sort of mediates, catches, and corrects misunderstandings that can pit the deck a month before launch.

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                                      • U User 13269747

                                        >

                                        Quote:

                                        In what other areas do you have knowledge or experience with? What are they, and how do you use them?

                                        The thing that made a colleague go "Woah - how did you do that?" was when his car broke down in the company parking lot with a snapped clutch cable, and I drove it all the way to his home without once needing the clutch[1] even though I worked it through all five gears, both changing up and changing down. [1] Stalled at every stop, started with a jerk after every stop.

                                        K Offline
                                        K Offline
                                        Kent K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #49

                                        Ahh, floating the gears. Nice. I used to do that on my old 80s something mazda pickup, for fun sometimes (only after using the clutch to smoothly start moving). Nowadays the only need for that technique is in my dump truck where that is required (again, after using the clutch to get moving) since heavy truck manual transmissions don't have synchronizers - so it's either floating them or double clutching, with the latter too much hassle).

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