Rules from the male side
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A female friend sent me this, so don't send any flames my way: Men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR' rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking - unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sports, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have t
I'll now repost my additions to your reposted list ;) 1. We will not hold your purse or your keys. You knew you had no pockets when you put the dress on, so now deal with the consequences. 1. Don't bother asking us if we want another beer. The answer is always yes, so just bring a bottle. --Mike-- Ericahist | Homepage | RightClick-Encrypt | 1ClickPicGrabber Ericahist updated (again) Sep 6!
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I'll now repost my additions to your reposted list ;) 1. We will not hold your purse or your keys. You knew you had no pockets when you put the dress on, so now deal with the consequences. 1. Don't bother asking us if we want another beer. The answer is always yes, so just bring a bottle. --Mike-- Ericahist | Homepage | RightClick-Encrypt | 1ClickPicGrabber Ericahist updated (again) Sep 6!
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A female friend sent me this, so don't send any flames my way: Men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR' rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking - unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sports, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have t
Andrew Allen wrote: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. :laugh:
Jon Sagara
A bottle a night isn't alcoholism - it's persistence! -- A coworker, jokingly -
I'll now repost my additions to your reposted list ;) 1. We will not hold your purse or your keys. You knew you had no pockets when you put the dress on, so now deal with the consequences. 1. Don't bother asking us if we want another beer. The answer is always yes, so just bring a bottle. --Mike-- Ericahist | Homepage | RightClick-Encrypt | 1ClickPicGrabber Ericahist updated (again) Sep 6!
Michael Dunn wrote: 1. We will not hold your purse or your keys. You knew you had no pockets when you put the dress on, so now deal with the consequences. Yes! I get so sick and tired of that! My Mom does it to me too... :(
Hawaian shirts and shorts work too in Summer. People assume you're either a complete nut (in which case not a worthy target) or so damn good you don't need to worry about camouflage... -Anna-Jayne Metcalfe on Paintballing
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A female friend sent me this, so don't send any flames my way: Men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR' rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking - unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sports, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have t
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A female friend sent me this, so don't send any flames my way: Men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR' rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking - unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sports, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have t
Andrew Allen wrote: 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!! God I wish my wife would learn that one! X|
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Michael Dunn wrote: 1. We will not hold your purse or your keys. You knew you had no pockets when you put the dress on, so now deal with the consequences. Yes! I get so sick and tired of that! My Mom does it to me too... :(
Hawaian shirts and shorts work too in Summer. People assume you're either a complete nut (in which case not a worthy target) or so damn good you don't need to worry about camouflage... -Anna-Jayne Metcalfe on Paintballing
But males make such convenient pocket accessories :-O
Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
Photography - The product of my passion -
But males make such convenient pocket accessories :-O
Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
Photography - The product of my passionAnd they also put the dustbins out! I wish I could, but I can't decently explain this one in the Lounge.
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed - Dwight D. Eisenhower
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And they also put the dustbins out! I wish I could, but I can't decently explain this one in the Lounge.
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed - Dwight D. Eisenhower
KaЯl wrote: I wish I could, but I can't decently explain this one in the Lounge. Ah, give it a try! :-D
"Nobody is Ugly at 2AM"
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KaЯl wrote: I wish I could, but I can't decently explain this one in the Lounge. Ah, give it a try! :-D
"Nobody is Ugly at 2AM"
Oh, it's just related to the advantages a man can procure when compared to certain toys made in Japan...
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed - Dwight D. Eisenhower
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But males make such convenient pocket accessories :-O
Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
Photography - The product of my passionI thought most women preferred us to be wrapped around their little fingers, when we're not busy doing other things for them.:rolleyes:
"Nobody is Ugly at 2AM"