OK - it's too damn quiet in here
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I was going to wait till Worst Joke Wednesday before asking for bad jokes but we no longer have useable coffee in the office and I desperately need something to see me through the afternoon. So hit me with your worst jokes. The badder the better. cheers, Chris Maunder
Let's Switch Two couples went camping together, and after the first night, the two husbands got to talking. "I don't know about you," said one, "but our sex life has gotten a little monotonous. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife dearly and would never want to lose her. How about you?" "I was just thinking the same thing! How would you feel about, ah, trying something different for a change?" "You mean, switching? For the night? Sounds like fun to me! Let's go ask the girls!" They did and, much to their surprise, the wives consented to the experiment. The next morning, the husbands compared notes. "How did you like it?" asked the first husband. "Not bad at all," replied the other... "Let's go see how the girls made out!" --------------------------------- Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. Henry David Thoreau, "Walden", 1854
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I was going to wait till Worst Joke Wednesday before asking for bad jokes but we no longer have useable coffee in the office and I desperately need something to see me through the afternoon. So hit me with your worst jokes. The badder the better. cheers, Chris Maunder
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I was going to wait till Worst Joke Wednesday before asking for bad jokes but we no longer have useable coffee in the office and I desperately need something to see me through the afternoon. So hit me with your worst jokes. The badder the better. cheers, Chris Maunder
Given that you've drunk all of the functional coffee, shouldn't that be the bladder the better?
Software Zen:
delete this; -
I was going to wait till Worst Joke Wednesday before asking for bad jokes but we no longer have useable coffee in the office and I desperately need something to see me through the afternoon. So hit me with your worst jokes. The badder the better. cheers, Chris Maunder
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I was going to wait till Worst Joke Wednesday before asking for bad jokes but we no longer have useable coffee in the office and I desperately need something to see me through the afternoon. So hit me with your worst jokes. The badder the better. cheers, Chris Maunder
My favorite bad Lounge joke: Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick!
Jon Sagara
A bottle a night isn't alcoholism - it's persistence! -- A coworker, jokingly -
Have things gotten that bad? :cool:
"Vierteile den, der sie Hure schimpft mit einem türkischen Säbel."
sighist | Agile Programming | doxygen;P cheers, Chris Maunder
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I was going to wait till Worst Joke Wednesday before asking for bad jokes but we no longer have useable coffee in the office and I desperately need something to see me through the afternoon. So hit me with your worst jokes. The badder the better. cheers, Chris Maunder
You asked for it...:doh: A Yank once evaded the customs and emigrated to a remote area in Australia. The nearest town was an hour's drive away, and he had no neighbors within a gunshot range. One day in the throes of boredom he drove into town to find company and a stiff drink. Walking into the only bar in town he was disappointed to find the place filled with the lowest sort of men, and not a woman in the lot. Having been in the country for almost a year he was, quite naturally, desperate for some feminine attention, so he asked the bartender, "Where are all the women in this town?" The bartender laughed and said, "You've come to the wrong place for women, mate! There aren't any here." And, of course, the whole bar had a good laugh at the stricken man's misfortune and shattered look. The fellow sat quietly, muttering in his drink, and polished off three or four more while pondering his sad fate. Perhaps it was the booze, or just his desperation, but he ventured to ask the man next to him, "So if there are no women, just what do the rest of you do for relief?" The guy nodded toward the window, and said "We use them." So the newcomer spun around on his barstool and took a gander out the window, and there in a distant field he spied a largish flock of sheep. Deeply shocked he declared "You have got to be kidding! I could never..." His new found friend just chuckled and said, "Well then, you'll just have to do without," and raised his glass for another round. When the bartender came around, the poor ex-pat American ordered a double and, as he sipped his drink, kept staring out the window at all those sheep. When he finished the glass, he slammed down the glass on the bartop, hitched up him pants, and marched with grim resolution out the door, and across the field. Everyone paid him no mind, and as the hours went by no one missed him and he was all but forgotten. Shortly after dark the door suddenly slammed open, and in marched in the Yank with a sheep under his arm and a grin on his mug! Well, you might as well have fired a cannon in the place, as all the patrons jumped up from their chairs and stools and dived out the windows! Panic, mayhem, such a ruckus the poor man had never seen. In a daze he wandered up to the bar where the terrified bartender stood shivering in front of the register. "What is wrong with these people, why did they all run away?" he asked. The poor bartender whispered, wide-eyed and shaking, "That's the Sheriff's girl!" "Some people are like Slinkies... not r
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You asked for it...:doh: A Yank once evaded the customs and emigrated to a remote area in Australia. The nearest town was an hour's drive away, and he had no neighbors within a gunshot range. One day in the throes of boredom he drove into town to find company and a stiff drink. Walking into the only bar in town he was disappointed to find the place filled with the lowest sort of men, and not a woman in the lot. Having been in the country for almost a year he was, quite naturally, desperate for some feminine attention, so he asked the bartender, "Where are all the women in this town?" The bartender laughed and said, "You've come to the wrong place for women, mate! There aren't any here." And, of course, the whole bar had a good laugh at the stricken man's misfortune and shattered look. The fellow sat quietly, muttering in his drink, and polished off three or four more while pondering his sad fate. Perhaps it was the booze, or just his desperation, but he ventured to ask the man next to him, "So if there are no women, just what do the rest of you do for relief?" The guy nodded toward the window, and said "We use them." So the newcomer spun around on his barstool and took a gander out the window, and there in a distant field he spied a largish flock of sheep. Deeply shocked he declared "You have got to be kidding! I could never..." His new found friend just chuckled and said, "Well then, you'll just have to do without," and raised his glass for another round. When the bartender came around, the poor ex-pat American ordered a double and, as he sipped his drink, kept staring out the window at all those sheep. When he finished the glass, he slammed down the glass on the bartop, hitched up him pants, and marched with grim resolution out the door, and across the field. Everyone paid him no mind, and as the hours went by no one missed him and he was all but forgotten. Shortly after dark the door suddenly slammed open, and in marched in the Yank with a sheep under his arm and a grin on his mug! Well, you might as well have fired a cannon in the place, as all the patrons jumped up from their chairs and stools and dived out the windows! Panic, mayhem, such a ruckus the poor man had never seen. In a daze he wandered up to the bar where the terrified bartender stood shivering in front of the register. "What is wrong with these people, why did they all run away?" he asked. The poor bartender whispered, wide-eyed and shaking, "That's the Sheriff's girl!" "Some people are like Slinkies... not r
Great joke, but you got the nation wrong..... That joke is told in Australia about New Zealand! Only it's not a joke. ;P Ah, New Zealand...a land where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. Did you know that thousands of New Zealanders emmigrate to Australia each year? It increases the average IQ of both countries.... Russell Robinson (russellr@rootsoftware.com) Author of TTMaker (Advanced Timetabling Software) http://www.rootsoftware.com
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I was going to wait till Worst Joke Wednesday before asking for bad jokes but we no longer have useable coffee in the office and I desperately need something to see me through the afternoon. So hit me with your worst jokes. The badder the better. cheers, Chris Maunder
So a Rabbi, an Irishman and a Dutchman walk into a bar. The barman turns to the audience; What is this, a joke? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Miszou wrote: I have read the entire internet. on how boring his day was. Crikey! ain't life grand?
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A man walks into a bar, and says "Ouch!" Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the third would have ducked. If your nose runs and your feet smell, then you're built upside down.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
David Wulff The Royal Woofle Museum
"I live very much in the real world, it's just not the same world shared by most other people"