Dog and Cat Humor
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Had this one sent to me recently. Enjoy EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite! 5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite! 6:00 p.m.. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite! 8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. Jared jparsons@jparsons.org www.prism.g
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Had this one sent to me recently. Enjoy EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite! 5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite! 6:00 p.m.. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite! 8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. Jared jparsons@jparsons.org www.prism.g
Great one, Jared! jparsons wrote: www.prism.gatech.edu/~gte477n Cool. Yet another CPian in Atlanta! Cheers, Tom Archer Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. * Inside C# -Second Edition * Visual C++.NET Bible * Extending MFC Applications with the .NET Framework
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Had this one sent to me recently. Enjoy EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite! 5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite! 6:00 p.m.. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite! 8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. Jared jparsons@jparsons.org www.prism.g
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Great one, Jared! jparsons wrote: www.prism.gatech.edu/~gte477n Cool. Yet another CPian in Atlanta! Cheers, Tom Archer Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. * Inside C# -Second Edition * Visual C++.NET Bible * Extending MFC Applications with the .NET Framework
Tom Archer wrote: Yet another CPian in Atlanta! Hmm... We need to have atleast one CPians' get together in Atlanta.
Somewhere in the world there is a machine language programmer waiting for that damned assembly language fad to pass. - Stan Shanon
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Tom Archer wrote: Yet another CPian in Atlanta! Hmm... We need to have atleast one CPians' get together in Atlanta.
Somewhere in the world there is a machine language programmer waiting for that damned assembly language fad to pass. - Stan Shanon
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Had this one sent to me recently. Enjoy EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite! 5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite! 6:00 p.m.. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite! 8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. Jared jparsons@jparsons.org www.prism.g
That was too funny! Found one with a few more entries including geting stoned on Cat Nip :) : http://www.kittykondo.com/cat%20diary.htm[^] Rocky <>< www.HintsAndTips.com
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Had this one sent to me recently. Enjoy EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite! 5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite! 6:00 p.m.. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite! 8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. Jared jparsons@jparsons.org www.prism.g
Great, great, great! :-D First I wanted to laugh...but...it could be true ! :suss: