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Economics 101

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toolstutorialcareer
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  • S Offline
    S Offline
    Sijin
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income. INFOSYS ECONOMICS You have 2 cows You put both of them on the bench And hire another to do the job. TCS ECONOMICS You have 2 cows You tell them that only one will go to onsite. You ask both of them to fight for the only H1B Visa. Both of them die after fighting. HCL ECONOMICS You have 2 cows You milk them only for 24 hours on just 7 days a week. They run away. WIPRO Economics You have 2 cows You train them for two months on how to milk themselves. Then u ask them to pull bullock carts. AMERICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. FRENCH ECONOMICS You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. GERMAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves. BRITISH ECONOMICS You have two cows. They are both mad cows. ITALIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch. SWISS ECONOMICS You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. JAPANESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide. RUSSIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka. CHINESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers. PAKISTANI ECONOMICS You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world. INDIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You worship them.


    I always think that the idea of a compiler that compiles another compiler or itself is rather incestuous in a binary way.

    P D 2 Replies Last reply
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    • S Sijin

      TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income. INFOSYS ECONOMICS You have 2 cows You put both of them on the bench And hire another to do the job. TCS ECONOMICS You have 2 cows You tell them that only one will go to onsite. You ask both of them to fight for the only H1B Visa. Both of them die after fighting. HCL ECONOMICS You have 2 cows You milk them only for 24 hours on just 7 days a week. They run away. WIPRO Economics You have 2 cows You train them for two months on how to milk themselves. Then u ask them to pull bullock carts. AMERICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. FRENCH ECONOMICS You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. GERMAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves. BRITISH ECONOMICS You have two cows. They are both mad cows. ITALIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch. SWISS ECONOMICS You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. JAPANESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide. RUSSIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka. CHINESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers. PAKISTANI ECONOMICS You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world. INDIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You worship them.


      I always think that the idea of a compiler that compiles another compiler or itself is rather incestuous in a binary way.

      P Offline
      P Offline
      Paul Watson
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      You mass mail 50 friends and tell them to send it on to fifty friends so that a boy in Kansas with Leukemia will be given 50c by Microsoft for each email. If they don't, you tell them, their computer will crash and a plague upon their home there will be. Of course they have already read the joke 50 times, so they just delete it and the boy in Kansas gets nothing. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand? Einstein says...

      J 1 Reply Last reply
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      • P Paul Watson

        You mass mail 50 friends and tell them to send it on to fifty friends so that a boy in Kansas with Leukemia will be given 50c by Microsoft for each email. If they don't, you tell them, their computer will crash and a plague upon their home there will be. Of course they have already read the joke 50 times, so they just delete it and the boy in Kansas gets nothing. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand? Einstein says...

        J Offline
        J Offline
        JoeSox
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Paul Watson wrote: Of course they have already read the joke 50 times, so they just delete it and the boy in Kansas gets nothing. W:omg:W In a good mood today Paul? :-D Later, JoeSox "What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others." -- Diogenes joeswammi.com ↔ humanaiproject.org ↔ joeswammi.com/sinfest

        P 1 Reply Last reply
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        • J JoeSox

          Paul Watson wrote: Of course they have already read the joke 50 times, so they just delete it and the boy in Kansas gets nothing. W:omg:W In a good mood today Paul? :-D Later, JoeSox "What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others." -- Diogenes joeswammi.com ↔ humanaiproject.org ↔ joeswammi.com/sinfest

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          P Offline
          Paul Watson
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Paul "Human Happy Pill" Watson is always in a good mood. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand? Einstein says...

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • S Sijin

            TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income. INFOSYS ECONOMICS You have 2 cows You put both of them on the bench And hire another to do the job. TCS ECONOMICS You have 2 cows You tell them that only one will go to onsite. You ask both of them to fight for the only H1B Visa. Both of them die after fighting. HCL ECONOMICS You have 2 cows You milk them only for 24 hours on just 7 days a week. They run away. WIPRO Economics You have 2 cows You train them for two months on how to milk themselves. Then u ask them to pull bullock carts. AMERICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. FRENCH ECONOMICS You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. GERMAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves. BRITISH ECONOMICS You have two cows. They are both mad cows. ITALIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch. SWISS ECONOMICS You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. JAPANESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide. RUSSIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka. CHINESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers. PAKISTANI ECONOMICS You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world. INDIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You worship them.


            I always think that the idea of a compiler that compiles another compiler or itself is rather incestuous in a binary way.

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Douglas Troy
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            MICROSOFT ECONOMICS You hire the cows away from another company. You reengineer the cows to eat more grass, look nicer and Moo friendlier. You then pressure all the milk vendors to only purchase your milk. After 2 years, you introduce new improved MS Milk from improved MS Cows. You continue to do this until you make billions. Next week, you purchase all the cola companies ... this was the best I could do on short notice D.

            L 1 Reply Last reply
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            • D Douglas Troy

              MICROSOFT ECONOMICS You hire the cows away from another company. You reengineer the cows to eat more grass, look nicer and Moo friendlier. You then pressure all the milk vendors to only purchase your milk. After 2 years, you introduce new improved MS Milk from improved MS Cows. You continue to do this until you make billions. Next week, you purchase all the cola companies ... this was the best I could do on short notice D.

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Douglas Troy wrote: After 2 years, you introduce new improved MS Milk from improved MS Cows. ... which are no longer compatible with the industry-standard grass, and require farmers to re-seed all their fields w/ MS-approved 'moo grass'. Of course, 'moo grass' is more expensive and indigestible by old-style cows. :-D

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