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Computer stupidities

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  • L Le centriste

    Programming[^] A good laugh !! My favorite:

    At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.

    Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"

    -------- "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." - Marilyn Manson

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    K Offline
    KaRl
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    :laugh::laugh::laugh: "When I was studying programming, one of my classmates was having serious troubles with his program. When he asked me for help, I leaned over his screen and saw all of his code in comments. The reason: "Well, it compiles much faster that way."


    Pushing little children, With their fully automatics, They like to push the weak around

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    • L Le centriste

      Programming[^] A good laugh !! My favorite:

      At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.

      Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"

      -------- "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." - Marilyn Manson

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Me: "Nobody over the age of eight uses QBasic for serious purposes." Him: "But they made windows with QBasic." Sometimes I wonder... :suss: We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. ~ H.L. Mencken

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      • L Le centriste

        Programming[^] A good laugh !! My favorite:

        At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.

        Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"

        -------- "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." - Marilyn Manson

        A Offline
        A Offline
        Andy Brummer
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        I've actually had a fellow developer seriously ask me how to tell if a number was negative. I was confused at first, but when I said if it is less then zero, they were very happy with the solution. Only later did they come back and say that they should have probably figured it out on their own. :| -Andy Brummer

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        • L Le centriste

          Programming[^] A good laugh !! My favorite:

          At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.

          Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"

          -------- "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." - Marilyn Manson

          R Offline
          R Offline
          Richard Jones
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          I think I have a new sig.:doh: /* Return code=1: generic error condition Return code=2: all other error conditions */

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          • L Le centriste

            Programming[^] A good laugh !! My favorite:

            At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.

            Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"

            -------- "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." - Marilyn Manson

            J Offline
            J Offline
            Judah Gabriel Himango
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            When a computer professor asked his students to comment all their programs, he got remarks like: "This program is very nice." "This program is very difficult." "This program is very interesting." Oh my god that's hilarious. BPOTD! (best post) :) --------------------------- He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. -Lao Tsu

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            • L Le centriste

              Programming[^] A good laugh !! My favorite:

              At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.

              Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"

              -------- "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." - Marilyn Manson

              H Offline
              H Offline
              Heath Stewart
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              A former regular here on CodeProject (I haven't seen him for a while) once commented to me that a lady where he works peppers her C/C++ code with & and * until it compiles because she doesn't understand what they're for. People like that need to go back to their dead-end jobs before they joined the "wonderful and exciting world of computers" they saw advertised on late-night TV.

              Microsoft MVP, Visual C# My Articles

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              • H Heath Stewart

                A former regular here on CodeProject (I haven't seen him for a while) once commented to me that a lady where he works peppers her C/C++ code with & and * until it compiles because she doesn't understand what they're for. People like that need to go back to their dead-end jobs before they joined the "wonderful and exciting world of computers" they saw advertised on late-night TV.

                Microsoft MVP, Visual C# My Articles

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Le centriste
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                Heath Stewart wrote: People like that need to go back to their dead-end jobs before they joined the "wonderful and exciting world of computers" they saw advertised on late-night TV You got my 5 for this ! -------- "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." - Marilyn Manson

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                • H Heath Stewart

                  A former regular here on CodeProject (I haven't seen him for a while) once commented to me that a lady where he works peppers her C/C++ code with & and * until it compiles because she doesn't understand what they're for. People like that need to go back to their dead-end jobs before they joined the "wonderful and exciting world of computers" they saw advertised on late-night TV.

                  Microsoft MVP, Visual C# My Articles

                  J Offline
                  J Offline
                  J Eric Vaughan
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  There was an ex-employee here that was helping me get started with C++ programming. I once commented that I got confused which to use * or & depending on the context. He said, we don't really know, either, we just keep switching them until it compiles. !!! :wtf: This person had code that was in shipping products!! :omg: The maximum characters for the signature is five hundred. I was wondering how long a five hundred characters message would be, so I decided to make my signature 500 characters long. I'm sure if I had some cool html stuff in my signature, I could eat up five hundred characters, but just typing five hundred characters takes quite some time. The trick I think is finding something to say, but I'm usually a man of few words. So I guess I'll tell you what I've discovered is the secret to life. It

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                  • L Le centriste

                    Programming[^] A good laugh !! My favorite:

                    At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.

                    Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"

                    -------- "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." - Marilyn Manson

                    P Offline
                    P Offline
                    Prakash Nadar
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    One of coworker said that when you get a compiler error like "unable to convert paramter n from xxx to xxx" all you have to do is put * or & somewhere in the paramter and it will start working, and yeah sometimes it really works.


                    MSN Messenger. prakashnadar@msn.com

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                    • A Andy Brummer

                      I've actually had a fellow developer seriously ask me how to tell if a number was negative. I was confused at first, but when I said if it is less then zero, they were very happy with the solution. Only later did they come back and say that they should have probably figured it out on their own. :| -Andy Brummer

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                      D Offline
                      Daniel Wilson
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      In the same vein I once came across some code that cast an int to a string then checked to see if the first character was '-'. Wow.:wtf:

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