The Onion - God is Pissed

realJSOP

http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god\_clarifies\_dont\_kill.html "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

Melissa_N

Hahaha very well written... I must say... of course, some people might take offense, but it's very nicely written, none the less, and pretty clever. Melissa

Maximilien

As an absolutly non-believer, I just got touched by the last line, that line made the whole story worthwhile ... "...Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept" Max. :rose:

Melissa_N

Yeah, that last line is what truly made the article worthwhile. Melissa

sAmAnThA

What's funny about using God's word? "God" shouldn't use as a joking matter or just for fun... "GOD said".. our God doesn't say any bad words or expression.... I am not a very devoted Catholic but Geezz... have respect to Almighty GOD... :rose: Samantha:rose:

Nish Nishant

LOL Nice and subtle, Samantha :-) Nish Sonork ID 100.9786 voidmain

Fazlul Kabir

Not surprised if God is pissed off seeing people killing each other. But why blame the abuse of religion only? Throughout the history, there are probably more people killed by folks who didn't have anything to do with religion, consider what happened in 2 world wars, communist attrocities in Soviet era, Chengish massacre in central Asia and the recent genocide in Rwanda... the list goes on.. // Fazlul

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Nish Nishant

God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept It's always a He eh? :-) Nish p.s. this is contradictory. John will say only women should apologize and weep. Sonork ID 100.9786 voidmain

David Wulff

What are you implying? That god is really Anna? :omg: (j/k) David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.

David Wulff

I would say religion was responsible for all of the examples you gave. In WWII, the Allies used to say God was on their side, didn't they? Well guess what, so did the Germans and the Japanese, and the Taliban are saying the same thing this very night. The faith in God insipers men to fight. It's the athiests who see the flaws in it. "For God and Country" I beleieve the phrase goes. That is not by mistake, either, that is because if a person beleives they are fighting with God, they can justify anything. Do you really beleive all of the men responsible for carrying out the genocide of the Jews in WWII believed they were doing something wrong? That just isn't so. Two things happen when you join the military to fight. First they remove all sense of individuality and values from you, thus making you a team player and able to follow orders without thinking "why" or "what if"; and second they force religion down your throat, as a man will die for God, but will not die for a patch of mud. David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.

Fazlul Kabir

"For God and Country" I beleieve the phrase goes. That is not by mistake, either, that is because if a person beleives they are fighting with God, they can justify anything. Do you really beleive all of the men responsible for carrying out the genocide of the Jews in WWII believed they were doing something wrong? That just isn't so. That doesn't mean that the whole war was based on religion. The same can be said about the massacre of million of Jews by Hitler. That was fascism, not a fight between Christianity and Judaism. // Fazlul

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Tim Smith

Damn John, given some of the replies, I guess you should have put a "HUMOR ALERT" on your message. Tim Smith Descartes Systems Sciences, Inc.

Mike Burston

Thanks John - nothing like a quick savaging of religious doctrines to get the day started right! I especially liked the caption under the picture - "Above: God.". ----------------------------- "My name is Sven und I am from Sveden. I am making das moovies mit mine friend Inga, fvor ve are very poor." - Christian Graus, Oct 29 2001 -----------------------------

PJ Arends

Samantha, I am a Christian myself, and I have learned that that there are people here who are very venomous in their antireligious opinions. If you come across something here that offends you, the best thing to do is to ignore it. To do otherwise can lead to a flame war that can get nasty (some will even take it out of the lounge and send you personal hateful emails). So lighten up, learn to laugh at yourself, and see the humour in things. (Just some advice, do with it as you will:rose: ) As for that article, (language aside) I think it is a pretty accurate representation of how God must feel. I think He is very angry at us for all the evil things we do "in the name of God". But I also believe He is a loving and caring God, and as long as we follow His word to the best of our abilities, everything will turn out fine. --- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

David Wulff

That doesn't mean that the whole war was based on religion. Let me lay this down in the Common Speech: If it was not for religion, the war would never have been fought on the scale it was, and indeed may never have even began, as WWI may not have come around. The same can be said about the massacre of million of Jews by Hitler Er? What exactly did you think I was talking about? I was talking about the genocide of the Jews. That was clearly based on religion, and was a fight between Christians and Jews. Religions don't have fights - followers of them do. David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident. P.S. Oh, and I'll just point out that it wasn't Hitler who was directly responsible for the genocide. That's like saying Bush was directly responsible for the September 11th attacks.

Mike Burston

What's funny about using God's word? Um... just about everything ??? our God doesn't say any bad words or expression Well, my god is John Simmons, and he's famous for his bad words and expressons. I'm also willing to bet my god's more fun that yours on the weekends. ...have respect to Almighty GOD Which god would that be ? Please be more specific when referring to deities - this is an international web site, after all. ----------------------------- "My name is Sven und I am from Sveden. I am making das moovies mit mine friend Inga, fvor ve are very poor." - Christian Graus, Oct 29 2001 -----------------------------

Christian Graus

Lighten up, Samantha. Leaving alone for a moment the differences between Catholicism and Christianity, if you're not a 'very devoted' Catholic, then how can you get all self righteous because someone made a joke, especially one which makes a very valid point ? Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001

David Wulff

some will even take it out of the lounge and send you personal hateful emails I should hope these people are instantly barred from the communuty. :mad: Personal insults aimed at John and his Goat/Latex fetishes are all very well, but written abuse sent like that is just not on. David Wulff, Founder of The BLA dwulff@battleaxesoftware.com New's flash - Bob caught in kitchen incident.

Maximilien

Taking John's defence, I think that any links/story taken from "The Onion" is by definition either really funny, sarcastic, ironic, and not to be taken "literally" (sp?). I didn't found the article funny ( as in hillarious ) but as in fun to read with a great ending. Max. :rose:

Fazlul Kabir

He's getting old, so let's forgive him. Truely I think the post is based on some facts, though I don't buy the argument that religion is itself has anything to do with it. It's the fanatics and extremist who are to blame. // Fazlul

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