More Jokes for Melissa...
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If you'd like, I can give you a chance to practice the combination I described earler... (evil grin). "hee hee , isn't that sweeeeEEEAAAAAAAARGGGGGH OOOOOOH MYYY YI YI YI YI GOD UH UH UH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" It goes something like that. All I need now is a tape of you practicing that, a nude picture of Gillian Anderson, and a bottle of liquid soap. If you need more practice, I'll let you know in a day or two... "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
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Henry Jacobs wrote: call for an age/sex check next. I don't get it....??? what are you saying? Melissa
It's kind of an IRC/chat room thing, where people post their age/sex/location. e.g. Nick> 127/both/Swaziland
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
You will love that one... - A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex. To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately how often each person had sex. The last man in line was grinning from ear to ear. "Twice a day," the therapist guessed, but was surprised when the man said no. "Once a day, then?" Again the answer was no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." When the doctor asked, "Once a year?" the man finally said yes. The therapist was angry that his theory hadn’t worked with this individual, and he asked the man, "What the heck are you so happy about?" The man answered, "Tonight's the night!"
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!" The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from. The little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree. The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties." ''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl. The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?" The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed." The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...'' Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
There were two friends, a white guy and a black guy. One evening, they were in a bar arguing over which of them could have sex the most times in one night. They decided to settle the issue by going to the local whorehouse for the evening. So they got to the whorehouse, paired off with a couple of the ladies, and went to their respective rooms. The white guy energetically balled his whore and, reaching up with a pencil, marked a line on the wall. Then he fell asleep. He woke up in a couple of hours and screwed the whore again, albeit a little less enthusiastically. Again, he reached back and marked a line on the wall. Again, he fell asleep. He woke up again in a couple of hours and lethargically humped the hooker again. He drowsily marked a third line on the wall and fell asleep for the rest of the night. The next morning, the black guy barged into the white guy's room to see how he did. He took one look at the wall and exclaimed, "A hundred and eleven? You beat me by three!"
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Did you hear about the blond who passed the Turing test? Sorry. That was a bad one. I know. Computer science students will get it.:laugh:
Kevin Ranville wrote: Did you hear about the blond who passed the Turing test? lol :laugh: Simon Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter! Sonork ID 100.10024
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Kevin Ranville wrote: Did you hear about the blond who passed the Turing test? lol :laugh: Simon Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter! Sonork ID 100.10024
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Philisophical Question If a man is in a forest, and he says something, even though there is no woman around... Is he still wrong?
Random Bar Joke Generator. It parses together snippets from all the cliches of every bar joke ever told, or so it would seem... http://www.brunching.com/cgi/barjoke.cgi? Occasionally these things accidentally make sense. The rest are even funnier. :laugh:
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How did you guess? :) We haven't actually done AI yet though, i just know a little about it. Simon Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter! Sonork ID 100.10024
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It's kind of an IRC/chat room thing, where people post their age/sex/location. e.g. Nick> 127/both/Swaziland
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LOL :) hehehe Thanks for the many jokes, guys and you even started a new thread for me! Awww :) I'm touched! Melissa
Programmers are human too melissa. The moment they see a damsel in distress, they come up with jokes. In this they dont fight over C# and VB and Linux and windows and IE and netscape. They just dig up jokes for the poor melissa damsel :-) Nish Sonork ID 100.9786 voidmain www.busterboy.org If you don't find me on CP, I'll be at Bob's HungOut
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I'm expecting someone to call for an age/sex check next.
hahaha was thinking that myself --- "every year we invent better idiot proof systems and every year they invent better idiots ... and the linux zealots still aren't being sterilized"
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I choked - sorry... :) "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: I choked - sorry... didnt momma tell u never to swallow? ;) --- "every year we invent better idiot proof systems and every year they invent better idiots ... and the linux zealots still aren't being sterilized"
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I'm expecting someone to call for an age/sex check next.
Henry Jacobs wrote: I'm expecting someone to call for an age/sex check next. LOL yes. Newbie > Hi all Room > Hi Newbie Newbie > ASL everyone. Op > k9 kick newbie be more polite IRC got really annoying with people who asked ASL before they even said hello or how are you. p.s. before anyone asks, ASL stands for Age, Sex, Location regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa Do you Sonork? I do! 100.9903 Stormfront "The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love, and be loved in return" - Moulin Rouge
