JOTD: made me laugh...
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News headlines for the year 2029........................................... 1) White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. 2) Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 3) Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped. 4) Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 5) Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. 6) Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon). 7) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. 8) France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica. 9) Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. 10) George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 11) Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 12) 85-year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. 13) Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 14) Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. 15) Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 16) Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. 17) New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. 18) Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. 19) Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. 20) IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%. 21) Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine :laugh:
I'm laughing now... but when I read them in 2029 I'll be steeped in nostalgia for the good old days.:sigh: "My kid was Inmate of the Month at Adobe Mountain Juvenile Corrections Center" - Bumper Sticker in Bullhead City
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News headlines for the year 2029........................................... 1) White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. 2) Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 3) Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped. 4) Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 5) Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. 6) Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon). 7) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. 8) France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica. 9) Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. 10) George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 11) Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 12) 85-year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. 13) Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 14) Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. 15) Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 16) Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. 17) New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. 18) Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. 19) Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. 20) IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%. 21) Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine :laugh:
:laugh: Hilarious! :laugh:
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
From Futurama - an obvious glimpse into the future - we know they are most definitely a problem in the year 3000. They even have owl traps! That one really had me chuckling, since I thought of the problem in Futurama immediately. Software Design Engineer Developer Division Sustained Engineering Microsoft [My Articles]
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News headlines for the year 2029........................................... 1) White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. 2) Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 3) Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped. 4) Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 5) Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. 6) Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon). 7) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. 8) France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica. 9) Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. 10) George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 11) Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 12) 85-year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. 13) Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 14) Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. 15) Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 16) Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. 17) New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. 18) Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. 19) Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. 20) IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%. 21) Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine :laugh:
ROFL. That was great! Where did you get that? Hope you don't mind, I had to put it in my blog. Dave Goodman dgoodman@infoway.com www.dkgoodman.com "Actio sequitur esse."
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News headlines for the year 2029........................................... 1) White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. 2) Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 3) Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped. 4) Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 5) Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. 6) Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon). 7) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. 8) France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica. 9) Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. 10) George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 11) Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 12) 85-year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. 13) Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 14) Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. 15) Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 16) Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. 17) New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. 18) Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. 19) Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. 20) IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%. 21) Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine :laugh:
- Microsoft releases hotfix 23 for SP-13 for Longhorn 23) Code Project gains its 100,000,001 member! 24) Studies show that driving while talking on a heads-up video phone display affects people the same as driving while intoxicated. 25) Scientists create a genetically engineered tree that grows money for leaves. World markets in disarray. 26) Stock in CareFreePets gains 1000% in one day on the heels of their press release for their new line of no maintenance pets 27) Saudi's sue for patent infringement on hydrogen generation processes. 28) Beachfront property on the shorelines of Antartica presold 100 years in advance of melting glaciers. 29) First cryogenically frozen human being from 2004 brought back to life and cured of heart disease. 30) Alien spaceship crash lands on Earth. Survivor appears to have faintly green tinged skin and pointy ears. Marc
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- Microsoft releases hotfix 23 for SP-13 for Longhorn 23) Code Project gains its 100,000,001 member! 24) Studies show that driving while talking on a heads-up video phone display affects people the same as driving while intoxicated. 25) Scientists create a genetically engineered tree that grows money for leaves. World markets in disarray. 26) Stock in CareFreePets gains 1000% in one day on the heels of their press release for their new line of no maintenance pets 27) Saudi's sue for patent infringement on hydrogen generation processes. 28) Beachfront property on the shorelines of Antartica presold 100 years in advance of melting glaciers. 29) First cryogenically frozen human being from 2004 brought back to life and cured of heart disease. 30) Alien spaceship crash lands on Earth. Survivor appears to have faintly green tinged skin and pointy ears. Marc
Marc Clifton wrote: 23) Code Project gains its 100,000,001 member! After further investigation, 55% of the members were disqualified because they tested positive for C++, Java, MFC, COM, C#, and VB.NET. Traces of COBOL were found in 3% of the worst offenders. :-D[
My articles and software tools
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ROFL. That was great! Where did you get that? Hope you don't mind, I had to put it in my blog. Dave Goodman dgoodman@infoway.com www.dkgoodman.com "Actio sequitur esse."
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I live in Marin County. I work near the ferry bldg in SF. Dave Goodman dgoodman@infoway.com www.dkgoodman.com "Actio sequitur esse."
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I live in Marin County. I work near the ferry bldg in SF. Dave Goodman dgoodman@infoway.com www.dkgoodman.com "Actio sequitur esse."
I used to live in Marin on Strawberry Point. I miss marin county a ton but it just cost too much to live there. :(
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News headlines for the year 2029........................................... 1) White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. 2) Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 3) Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped. 4) Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 5) Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. 6) Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon). 7) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. 8) France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica. 9) Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. 10) George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 11) Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 12) 85-year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. 13) Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 14) Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. 15) Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 16) Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. 17) New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. 18) Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. 19) Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. 20) IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%. 21) Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine :laugh:
You managed to impart a degree of mirth to several lives with this post. Good job! :-D "My kid was Inmate of the Month at Adobe Mountain Juvenile Corrections Center" - Bumper Sticker in Bullhead City
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News headlines for the year 2029........................................... 1) White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. 2) Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 3) Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped. 4) Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 5) Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. 6) Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon). 7) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. 8) France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica. 9) Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. 10) George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 11) Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 12) 85-year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. 13) Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 14) Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. 15) Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 16) Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. 17) New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. 18) Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. 19) Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. 20) IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%. 21) Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine :laugh: