Wash your hands.
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Reminds me of the old Navy vs. Marines joke: A sailor and a marine are using a public restroom at the same time. When finished urinating the marine turns to walk out and the sailor says, "In the Navy they taught us to wash our hands afterward!" The Marine responds, "In the Marines they taught us to NOT piss all over our hands!" Mike Mullikin - Sonork 100.10096 "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey
The version i heard was when someone says "Didn't your mother teach you to wash your hands", then you reply "Yes, but my father taught me not to piss on mine!" James Sonork ID: 100.11138 - Hasaki and a digital cookie (not chocolate chip, its computer chip) goes to whoever can be the first to tell me what Hasaki means. I know someone registered on here can tell me :)
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I've heard of someone who actually had a fly printed in the toilet bowl right at the waterline - stopped all of the misses because everyone was now 'aiming' ! Steven J. Ackerman, Consultant ACS, Sarasota, FL http://www.acscontrol.com steve@acscontrol.com sja@gte.net
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I thought it was only women who are neurotic about this. My wife gives me hell about it, but 1. I don't eat a lot, and I drink a lot of fluid (obviously, just clarifying I don't mean I am a drunk) 2. Therefore I am far more likely to just need to pee 3. I hate wasted time, so I always take the book of the moment ( Standard C++ IOStreams and Locales at the moment, a stonking good book ) with me, meaning I sit down so I can have a read. Admittedly sometimes this means I spend far more time in there than I need to. 4. Given that I've not touched the equipment, or had my hands near it during the time of elimination, why on earth do I need to wash my hands ? Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
Although I find not washing your hands disturbing at least you acknowledge you don't wash them. My point was that coming in contact with water does not constitute washing them so why bother? I think it is because they're concerned about what other people might think. I think they're ass lint for caring.
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Although I find not washing your hands disturbing at least you acknowledge you don't wash them. My point was that coming in contact with water does not constitute washing them so why bother? I think it is because they're concerned about what other people might think. I think they're ass lint for caring.
Henry Jacobs wrote: My point was that coming in contact with water does not constitute washing them so why bother? I think it is because they're concerned about what other people might think. I think they're ass lint for caring. I agree with this entirely. You're entitled to have your own opinion regarding my willingness to wash my hands, but if I'm not gonna wash them, then I'm not going to pretend to wash them either. When my wife hassles me about it I offer to let her sniff my fingers to see they don't smell. She just hits me..... Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
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That the hell is it with men who run their hands under water for 0.2 seconds after they use the rest room†! What psychological disorder do these people suffer from that they must delude themselves into believing that constitutes washing your hands! Then they pull off three feet of paper towel, wad it up and throw it in the trash. If your going to be an unsanitary oaf and spread your urine all over your workplace then do so. Don't feel obligated to play in the water just because there is someone else in the rest room that might observe the fact that you did not wash your hands. † For international readers, “rest room” is the American description of a room designated to expel contaminated matter.
Henry Jacobs wrote: That the hell is it with men who run their hands under water for 0.2 seconds after they use the rest room When I take a piss only my right thumb and the first two fingers ever get anywhere near my crotch *, so they are all I ever wash. My left hand is normally positioned in my left pocket, to help pull my trousers "out" enough to slip my fingers in. Do you wash your hands after putting your hands in your pockets? I mean it's not as if I piss on my hands or anything (if there is "backsplash" then of course I will wash my hands). Maybe these "dirty people" you are talking about are also able to pee 3D (three digitally). * this includes opening the fly, repositioning the underwear, lining up the equipment, and then again in reverse when I'm done. The only truely clean way of relieving yourself of excess urine is not to wear trousers or underwear at all, and then take a piss out of your office window or into the nearest potted plant. In reality, it doesn't bear thinking about whay some people will have on their hands. It's a fact of life. All you can do is ensure you do your best to keep yourself clean, and never make physical contact with another human being - or anything touched by one. ________________ David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves" - August Strindberg
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Henry Jacobs wrote: That the hell is it with men who run their hands under water for 0.2 seconds after they use the rest room When I take a piss only my right thumb and the first two fingers ever get anywhere near my crotch *, so they are all I ever wash. My left hand is normally positioned in my left pocket, to help pull my trousers "out" enough to slip my fingers in. Do you wash your hands after putting your hands in your pockets? I mean it's not as if I piss on my hands or anything (if there is "backsplash" then of course I will wash my hands). Maybe these "dirty people" you are talking about are also able to pee 3D (three digitally). * this includes opening the fly, repositioning the underwear, lining up the equipment, and then again in reverse when I'm done. The only truely clean way of relieving yourself of excess urine is not to wear trousers or underwear at all, and then take a piss out of your office window or into the nearest potted plant. In reality, it doesn't bear thinking about whay some people will have on their hands. It's a fact of life. All you can do is ensure you do your best to keep yourself clean, and never make physical contact with another human being - or anything touched by one. ________________ David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves" - August Strindberg
First, the answer to the question is *yes* ;P David Wulff wrote: When I take a piss only my right thumb and the first two fingers ever get anywhere near my crotch Well, only some of us are gifted enough for it to require both hands and a warm up to avoid strain injury... Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
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I've also witnessed people walking into the bathrood with food, sitting on the toilet (not actually witnessing this instant in time), and coming out of the bathroom 20 minutes later without the food. Just so that we keep things in their proper perspective, these are NOT the same people that come out of the bathroom licking their fingers. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
Maybe they're just throwing it directly into the bowl. That makes sense: 1. You're eliminating the middle man, thereby improving the (ahem) bottom line. 2. You're reducing latency (no waiting around for hours). 3. You're reducing waste (you don't even have to unwrap it). Ok. Enough. Tim Lesher http://www.lesher.ws
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First, the answer to the question is *yes* ;P David Wulff wrote: When I take a piss only my right thumb and the first two fingers ever get anywhere near my crotch Well, only some of us are gifted enough for it to require both hands and a warm up to avoid strain injury... Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
****Christian Graus wrote: First, the answer to the question is *yes* But why though? I wet my fingers/thumb enough to wash off anything that could supposedly be on there, and dry them with a clean towel. I'm not "pretending" to wash my hands, I am deliberately washing my hands. If you (the reader) honestly expect me to wash both of my hands with soap and water, then surely restrooms should have a penis washing machine too? I mean it's not like you get people sucking on your fingers now is it. :o ****Christian Graus wrote: Well, only some of us are gifted enough for it to require both hands and a warm up to avoid strain injury... Why would that be gifted? I am thankful that unless I am particularly "alert" *cough* I can perform the whole pissing thing one handed. Now I I could just figure out who to wipe my arse telekinetically I would be sorted! What *really* annoys me is when guys seem to think they need to piss from about four feet away from the actual urinal, causing a large amount of backspray which inevitably gets the other guys soaked. Or even more commonplace, especially if they're pissed 1 too, they will just point the damned thing at the wall and shoot away. I have been on the recieving end of this too many times... http://www.davidwulff.co.uk/pissedon.jpg Note, that was not my my piss, it was my mates. I had it all up my arm too. X| Still, at least I can take the piss out of him! *groan* 1 To Americans: this does not mean angry, annoyed, etc, but rather that the person is experiencing the side effects of the consumption of too much alchohol. ________________ David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves" - August Strindberg
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****Christian Graus wrote: First, the answer to the question is *yes* But why though? I wet my fingers/thumb enough to wash off anything that could supposedly be on there, and dry them with a clean towel. I'm not "pretending" to wash my hands, I am deliberately washing my hands. If you (the reader) honestly expect me to wash both of my hands with soap and water, then surely restrooms should have a penis washing machine too? I mean it's not like you get people sucking on your fingers now is it. :o ****Christian Graus wrote: Well, only some of us are gifted enough for it to require both hands and a warm up to avoid strain injury... Why would that be gifted? I am thankful that unless I am particularly "alert" *cough* I can perform the whole pissing thing one handed. Now I I could just figure out who to wipe my arse telekinetically I would be sorted! What *really* annoys me is when guys seem to think they need to piss from about four feet away from the actual urinal, causing a large amount of backspray which inevitably gets the other guys soaked. Or even more commonplace, especially if they're pissed 1 too, they will just point the damned thing at the wall and shoot away. I have been on the recieving end of this too many times... http://www.davidwulff.co.uk/pissedon.jpg Note, that was not my my piss, it was my mates. I had it all up my arm too. X| Still, at least I can take the piss out of him! *groan* 1 To Americans: this does not mean angry, annoyed, etc, but rather that the person is experiencing the side effects of the consumption of too much alchohol. ________________ David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves" - August Strindberg
David Wulff wrote: But why though? I wet my fingers/thumb enough to wash off anything that could supposedly be on there, and dry them with a clean towel. Because you live in Tiverton ? (clue: this is the guy who washes NOTHING if he's only had to pee, I was just kidding with the first line) David Wulff wrote: Why would that be gifted? I'm not sure - ask my wife. David Wulff wrote: What *really* annoys me is when guys seem to think they need to piss from about four feet away from the actual urinal, Do what I do a. Learn a martial art b. get behind people like that and give them a solid shove. David Wulff wrote: Note, that was not my my piss, it was my mates. I had it all up my arm too. And you had a PHOTO taken ? I'd have just smacked the guy. Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
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Damn - this idea's already patented ! http://soundreach.simplenet.com/psp/us404440.htm Steven J. Ackerman, Consultant ACS, Sarasota, FL http://www.acscontrol.com steve@acscontrol.com sja@gte.net
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I thought it was only women who are neurotic about this. My wife gives me hell about it, but 1. I don't eat a lot, and I drink a lot of fluid (obviously, just clarifying I don't mean I am a drunk) 2. Therefore I am far more likely to just need to pee 3. I hate wasted time, so I always take the book of the moment ( Standard C++ IOStreams and Locales at the moment, a stonking good book ) with me, meaning I sit down so I can have a read. Admittedly sometimes this means I spend far more time in there than I need to. 4. Given that I've not touched the equipment, or had my hands near it during the time of elimination, why on earth do I need to wash my hands ? Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
****Christian Graus wrote: 4. Given that I've not touched the equipment, or had my hands near it during the time of elimination, why on earth do I need to wash my hands ? You touched the toilet rim and the flushing thingy. The people who touched those before you may not have been so fortunate in not touching their equipment. That is the point of washing your hands after using the bathroom, to wash other people's yuckies from your hands. Cathy
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I've also witnessed people walking into the bathrood with food, sitting on the toilet (not actually witnessing this instant in time), and coming out of the bathroom 20 minutes later without the food. Just so that we keep things in their proper perspective, these are NOT the same people that come out of the bathroom licking their fingers. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
Heh! I have a relative that does this. Got to go to the bathroom? Going to be in there a while? Got half a plate of spaghetti to go? No prob! Let's multitask.. :suss: -Jason nirgle.bitdevil.com
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****Christian Graus wrote: 4. Given that I've not touched the equipment, or had my hands near it during the time of elimination, why on earth do I need to wash my hands ? You touched the toilet rim and the flushing thingy. The people who touched those before you may not have been so fortunate in not touching their equipment. That is the point of washing your hands after using the bathroom, to wash other people's yuckies from your hands. Cathy
Cathy wrote: You touched the toilet rim and the flushing thingy. Why would I touch the toilet rim, excepting with my butt ? Cathy wrote: That is the point of washing your hands after using the bathroom, to wash other people's yuckies from your hands. I have a 5 year old in the house, and none of us miss the bowl, ever. Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
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Damn - this idea's already patented ! http://soundreach.simplenet.com/psp/us404440.htm Steven J. Ackerman, Consultant ACS, Sarasota, FL http://www.acscontrol.com steve@acscontrol.com sja@gte.net
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I feel so manipulated. If I ever see one of those targets in there I'm going to aim away from it on purpose.:rolleyes:
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David Wulff wrote: But why though? I wet my fingers/thumb enough to wash off anything that could supposedly be on there, and dry them with a clean towel. Because you live in Tiverton ? (clue: this is the guy who washes NOTHING if he's only had to pee, I was just kidding with the first line) David Wulff wrote: Why would that be gifted? I'm not sure - ask my wife. David Wulff wrote: What *really* annoys me is when guys seem to think they need to piss from about four feet away from the actual urinal, Do what I do a. Learn a martial art b. get behind people like that and give them a solid shove. David Wulff wrote: Note, that was not my my piss, it was my mates. I had it all up my arm too. And you had a PHOTO taken ? I'd have just smacked the guy. Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
****Christian Graus wrote: Do what I do a. Learn a martial art b. get behind people like that and give them a solid shove. Isn't that a kind of counter-productive thing to do? Surely then they'd just piss everywhere? Maybe a machette would be better... :omg: ****Christian Graus wrote: And you had a PHOTO taken? There were a whole load of photos, as it was a 21st birthday party. Noddy (the guy behind the camera) obviously seized to opportunity to take an embarassing photo of me whist I was looking the other way. There are more amusing ones, but you'll never get to see them. ****Christian Graus wrote: I'd have just smacked the guy. I could hardly stand upright without someone to lean on, so I was in no position to argue with the guy. Anyway, by the early morning I was covered in my own vomit which was actually quite funny in itself *. (That Aftershock stuff is quite effective, but a little too easy to go overboard with!) * you've brought back fond memories of a group of pissed people line dancing to YMCA in a room full of bubbles! Ah, what it is to be young! ________________ David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves" - August Strindberg
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Which explains why I see some people using a paper towel to open the door as they leave :) Not a bad idea eh?
Todd Smith
Exactly what I do.
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Henry Jacobs wrote: My point was that coming in contact with water does not constitute washing them so why bother? I think it is because they're concerned about what other people might think. I think they're ass lint for caring. I agree with this entirely. You're entitled to have your own opinion regarding my willingness to wash my hands, but if I'm not gonna wash them, then I'm not going to pretend to wash them either. When my wife hassles me about it I offer to let her sniff my fingers to see they don't smell. She just hits me..... Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
****Christian Graus wrote: When my wife hassles me about it I offer to let her sniff my fingers to see they don't smell. She just hits me..... :laugh:
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Henry Jacobs wrote: My point was that coming in contact with water does not constitute washing them so why bother? I think it is because they're concerned about what other people might think. I think they're ass lint for caring. I agree with this entirely. You're entitled to have your own opinion regarding my willingness to wash my hands, but if I'm not gonna wash them, then I'm not going to pretend to wash them either. When my wife hassles me about it I offer to let her sniff my fingers to see they don't smell. She just hits me..... Christian After all, there's nothing wrong with an elite as long as I'm allowed to be part of it!! - Mike Burston Oct 23, 2001
Sonork ID 100.10002:MeanManOz
I live in Bob's HungOut now
Ya know, a lot of women back down like that when you try to force the issue. "Would I offer to let you lick my fingers if I didn't think they were clean? Huh? Would I?" The usually go running off blowing chunks. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
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Henry Jacobs wrote: That the hell is it with men who run their hands under water for 0.2 seconds after they use the rest room When I take a piss only my right thumb and the first two fingers ever get anywhere near my crotch *, so they are all I ever wash. My left hand is normally positioned in my left pocket, to help pull my trousers "out" enough to slip my fingers in. Do you wash your hands after putting your hands in your pockets? I mean it's not as if I piss on my hands or anything (if there is "backsplash" then of course I will wash my hands). Maybe these "dirty people" you are talking about are also able to pee 3D (three digitally). * this includes opening the fly, repositioning the underwear, lining up the equipment, and then again in reverse when I'm done. The only truely clean way of relieving yourself of excess urine is not to wear trousers or underwear at all, and then take a piss out of your office window or into the nearest potted plant. In reality, it doesn't bear thinking about whay some people will have on their hands. It's a fact of life. All you can do is ensure you do your best to keep yourself clean, and never make physical contact with another human being - or anything touched by one. ________________ David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves" - August Strindberg
Some people consider being a dirty bastard a compliment. David Wulff wrote: The only truely clean way of relieving yourself of excess urine is not to wear trousers or underwear at all, and then take a piss out of your office window or into the nearest potted plant. :laugh: I'd be all for that except my department doesn't have any windows.
