Chain Yanking
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
They all talk like Valley Girls there That's like totally, y'know, like all of like...California. :-D
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
I have an identical twin brother - Dominic .. most of the time when some moron walks up to us and asks if we are brothers we usually say something 'acidic' (its not half obvious, it dont take much of a brain to figure out) now and then though, when we are in the same city together, and someone says "there's someone over there who looks like you" I'll ask where ?, then go over, and confront my (unknown to the schmuck) brother, and ask questions like "look here, you, didnt you know impersonating someone is a crime" or "do I know you - this person says we look the same" ... usually one or the other of us ends up wetting ourselves with laughter and the schmuck is still none the wiser occasionally, someone he or I know will find themselves in each others respective home city - mine is Sydney, his is Canberra - so you get the 'I know someone who looks just like you' line, so sometimes he or I string them along like "is he 5 feet 6, does he do this, talk like that etc", then say 'nah, never met him' after getting bored with it (cruel I know)... most people who know either of us are pre-warned that there's a duplicate, though 'G'
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
On my very first trip to the US I told the guys I was dealing with (a bunch of VERY smart hardware engineers at HP) that clocks in the Southern Hemisphere run the other way around to correct for the coriolis effect. They didn't believe me so I pointed at a clock and rattled off the numbers as they would be if I'd been telling the truth. They believed me :) So a little later I started telling them about the 6 foot long earthworms we have in Gippsland (a region of my home state, Victoria). Nothing I could do would convince em (remember this was back when the internet was a closed club and google didn't exist). On my second trip I took them a novelty alarm clock that really does run backwards - but we first added the legend 'Made in the USA' to the clock face :) Roger Wright wrote: It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. I wouldn't be :) Rob Manderson I'm working on a version for Visual Lisp++ My (occasional) blog http://blogs.wdevs.com/ultramaroon/[^]
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
Roger Wright wrote: Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? No, but I guy I used to work with does. He was on a train somewhere near Barcelona (he's British but works in Spain) and there was an Australian/Texan (strange mix) American Football player sat down in the seat opposite. Anyway they got in a conversation and it didn't take too long to realise this guy was just plain stupid. One of his offering of wisdom was that the spanish were weird because "they got their own word for bread. They call it pan". I would have thought that living in Texas his whole life would have at least conditioned him to the idea that there are more languages spoken in the world than just English. Anyway, after about two hours of moron baiting this guy suddenly twigs he has been had for the last two hours and exclaims "You're toyin' with me, ain'tya?" My sister is also good at moron baiting. She used to work in a pub, and this scary looking woman (witchlike appearance, hair everywhere, obviously not washed for weeks, etc.) came in and sat down at the bar. As the my sister walked past her section of the bar while serving someone else she screached out something about wanting served. So my sister politely said that she'd be back but was serving someone else at the time. When my sister returned to the woman she pulled out a bottle of vodka from her bag and demanded a knife in order to get the security seal off. It was obvious that the woman had just stolen it from the "Sainsbury's" supermarket down the street. So my sister, ever the diplomat, said that she would be better to go to Sainsbury's and tell them that they'd forgotten to take the security seal off at the checkout and then she'd be able to open the bottle. "Aye," the woman screeches, "I need to get the bottle open. Do you have a knife?". After a while, and with everyone bar listening into this crazy woman's rantings, a car alarm goes off outside the pub and one of the regulars who is staning near the woman in the bar makes a loud comment that it must be the alarm at Sainsbury's. On hearing this the woman bolts from the pub. My sister has an extra job at the moment doing phone polls for a market research company. Unfortuantely she has to bite her tounge. But she still comes back with some crazy stuff people have said. Recently there was one guy who agreed to take part in the poll, but was getting pissed off with the slow measured script my sister has to stick to. She starts with a some demographic questions to
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I have an identical twin brother - Dominic .. most of the time when some moron walks up to us and asks if we are brothers we usually say something 'acidic' (its not half obvious, it dont take much of a brain to figure out) now and then though, when we are in the same city together, and someone says "there's someone over there who looks like you" I'll ask where ?, then go over, and confront my (unknown to the schmuck) brother, and ask questions like "look here, you, didnt you know impersonating someone is a crime" or "do I know you - this person says we look the same" ... usually one or the other of us ends up wetting ourselves with laughter and the schmuck is still none the wiser occasionally, someone he or I know will find themselves in each others respective home city - mine is Sydney, his is Canberra - so you get the 'I know someone who looks just like you' line, so sometimes he or I string them along like "is he 5 feet 6, does he do this, talk like that etc", then say 'nah, never met him' after getting bored with it (cruel I know)... most people who know either of us are pre-warned that there's a duplicate, though 'G'
Garth J Lancaster wrote: respective home city - mine is Sydney Where? I'm in sunny downtown Mount Druitt. Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So i had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash 24/04/2004
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
I tend bar for a living and I have found that even smart folk become morons sooner or later.;P
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. Toasty0.com
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They all talk like Valley Girls there That's like totally, y'know, like all of like...California. :-D
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
My friend Eric, who shall remain nameless, once worked in a Radio Shack in the San Fernando Valley (home of the Valley girl). One day (about 20 years ago) a guy comes in with a TV set and complains that the picture is all jagged. Well, Eric tells him that the thing needs a Fallopian tube, but the store was all out and he should go to Sandy's Electronics and tell them he needs a Fallopian tube. We heard later he came back to the store all steamed, but Eric was already off duty by then. :) Dave Goodman dgoodman@infoway.com www.dkgoodman.com "Actio sequitur esse."
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My friend Eric, who shall remain nameless, once worked in a Radio Shack in the San Fernando Valley (home of the Valley girl). One day (about 20 years ago) a guy comes in with a TV set and complains that the picture is all jagged. Well, Eric tells him that the thing needs a Fallopian tube, but the store was all out and he should go to Sandy's Electronics and tell them he needs a Fallopian tube. We heard later he came back to the store all steamed, but Eric was already off duty by then. :) Dave Goodman dgoodman@infoway.com www.dkgoodman.com "Actio sequitur esse."
:laugh::laugh: Excellent! I once worked at Dick's Texaco, on White street and Foothill blvd in La Verne. On the adjacent corner was a 100' tall neon sign with an arrow pointing to this turn and the caption "This Way To The Fair!" Straight down White street was the entrance to the LA County Fairgrounds, yet with this huge sign prominently in place we still got 20 - 30 people a day stopping to ask how to get to the Fair. It quickly became a game among us mechanics to compete for giving the wildest directions possible. Although I wasn't the most creative, I did send one family down Foothill to San Bernardino (about 60 miles), then had them get on the 10 freeway west to Ganesha (another 60 miles) - the other way into the Fairgrounds. I love idiots.:-D "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
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I tend bar for a living and I have found that even smart folk become morons sooner or later.;P
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. Toasty0.com
Some sooner than others. As the sign in the bar says, "If ^%&holes could fly, this would be an airport." "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
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It is so embarassing to admit that I like the movie Clueless :laugh: That's a secret I would keep till my grave if I were you Paul.
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
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Garth J Lancaster wrote: respective home city - mine is Sydney Where? I'm in sunny downtown Mount Druitt. Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So i had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash 24/04/2004
(I new you were somewhere close from some of your previous posts) Lives : Epping Works : 'The Big Smog' Haunts : Any cycleway between Epping, Meadowbank, Olympic Park, occasionally extends territory to Concord, FiveDock, Gladesville what do you think about getting Sydney CPians together sometime for a meal, but cant happen for the next 3 weeks (I'll be out of the country 9-24th Oct) 'G'
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
That reminds me of a joke... Why did the Californian cross the road? . . . To get to the Starbucks on the other side.
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On my very first trip to the US I told the guys I was dealing with (a bunch of VERY smart hardware engineers at HP) that clocks in the Southern Hemisphere run the other way around to correct for the coriolis effect. They didn't believe me so I pointed at a clock and rattled off the numbers as they would be if I'd been telling the truth. They believed me :) So a little later I started telling them about the 6 foot long earthworms we have in Gippsland (a region of my home state, Victoria). Nothing I could do would convince em (remember this was back when the internet was a closed club and google didn't exist). On my second trip I took them a novelty alarm clock that really does run backwards - but we first added the legend 'Made in the USA' to the clock face :) Roger Wright wrote: It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. I wouldn't be :) Rob Manderson I'm working on a version for Visual Lisp++ My (occasional) blog http://blogs.wdevs.com/ultramaroon/[^]
Rob Manderson wrote: 6 foot long earthworms Are they any good for fishing? Where do I get some?:-D Great prank, btw! When I visited some cousins in Texas I got really tired of their constant bragging about things being bigger there than anywhere else. So when they visited Cali I arranged to serve them seedless watermelon, and told them they were Thompson seedless grapes from the wine country up north. Did they already know about the water swirling the other way down the drain? "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
well those ockers are a bit slow sometimes bryce --- Publitor, making Pubmed easy. http://www.sohocode.com/publitor
Our kids book :The Snot Goblin
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(I new you were somewhere close from some of your previous posts) Lives : Epping Works : 'The Big Smog' Haunts : Any cycleway between Epping, Meadowbank, Olympic Park, occasionally extends territory to Concord, FiveDock, Gladesville what do you think about getting Sydney CPians together sometime for a meal, but cant happen for the next 3 weeks (I'll be out of the country 9-24th Oct) 'G'
Garth J Lancaster wrote: what do you think about getting Sydney CPians together sometime for a meal Something I have wanted to do for a long time. Only managed to catch up with Bryce so far though. Would take more than 3 weeks to organise it anyway as there is from memory at least half a dozen others. Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So i had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash 24/04/2004
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Garth J Lancaster wrote: what do you think about getting Sydney CPians together sometime for a meal Something I have wanted to do for a long time. Only managed to catch up with Bryce so far though. Would take more than 3 weeks to organise it anyway as there is from memory at least half a dozen others. Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So i had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash 24/04/2004
ok, lets wait till I get back then start arranging it I was thinking, 'why just Sydney??', I know there's Neville amongst others in Melbourne, but caution being the better part of valour, I figure its better to wait and see how much like herding cats it is for just Sydney first, then think about Melbourne, Brisbane 'G'
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Have you ever just felt like yanking someone's chain for the heck of it? Tonight an Australian acquaintance of mine walked in and said, "G'day, mate." The fellow next to him asked, "Where are you from?" He answered, "Redondo Beach." The poor fool then said, "but you talk with an accent..." I couldn't help myself - having overheard the conversation I just had to say, "I'm from Redondo Beach meself, mate, and 'e doesn't 'ave any accent that I can 'ear." I said that in my best Aussie accent, of course. After a bit of futile struggling to catch us out on the accent the poor sod finally left, giving the bartender some relief. Paul kept talking in his normal voice, and I did my best to mimic him - albeit badly - but the idiot couldn't tell the difference. I managed, I think, to convince him that we all talk that way in Redondo Beach, CA. I haven't been there in 15 years, so it took a bit of effort to say that with a straight face. His parting look of total befuddlement was worth the effort; it's not often that I get the opportunity to completely flummox a moron. For what it's worth, no, nobody in Redondo Beach talks like an Aussie, unless he/she happens to be visiting from down under. They all talk like Valley Girls there, but tonight's victim of opportunity will never learn that. It was fun, and I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself, but not too much. Do you ever indulge in the low sport of moron-baiting? Describe some of your best efforts.;P "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City
Gotta admit, while I've matured a little now I used to love the sport of moron-baiting. One of my best happened when I was still a sparky working with a shop-fitting outfit in England. We were doing a job in Aldershot and one evening we were out having our usual liquid dinner where there was this guy (who, as the night wore on, became more and more moron-like) going around the bar making bets with the other patrons (most of whom seemed to be Army personnel) on trivial things like odds-and-evens, flipping piles beer-mats, etc (I presume the other pommies here know about flipping beer-mats ;) By "last-orders" he had pissed off most of the other patrons to the point where they wouldn't make a bet with him, and with great dismay I saw him look directly at me. As he got up to approach our table he loudly he told his girlfriend to get him another pint before the bartender called "time". I knocked back the dregs of my last pint hoping we could get up to go before he nailed us with his nonsense but my colleagues were still nursing their beers and reluctant to leave. When he got there he offered to play odds-and-even for 50p a shot. I refused. He asked if I'd thought I was any good at flipping beer-mats; he'd bet me 50p he could flip more than I could. I refused. It was obvious the moron would take on almost any challege for a bet so I offered him a race to sink a pint. ( I had a pretty good time in those days; I'd learned how to open my gullet and pour it straight down without swallowing ;) He seemed keen, simply because it was a bet but said that wouldn't be fair as he wasn't very fast at drinking pints. So then I told him I'd bet him 50p I could sink his full pint so fast he would even see the glass leave the table. I had him - hook, line and sinker. He decided he wanted witnesses and made a huge show of setting us up at bar where everyone could watch, calling his girlfriend over with his pint, setting it down and drawing everyone's attention, claiming that if anyone saw the glass leave the bar Iwould lose the bet. I agreed. He started a countdown and at "1" I picked up the pint and downed it in about 3 seconds (I didn't rush ;) "Hey! I saw that - you all saw that, didn't you?" he said. "You win." I said, and put my 50p down on the bar. That's when his face dropped. "Hey! I paid a quid for that pint!" "Well, I paid 50p" I said and walked away. We left very quickly, with the moron glaring daggers at us and his girlfriend p
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Gotta admit, while I've matured a little now I used to love the sport of moron-baiting. One of my best happened when I was still a sparky working with a shop-fitting outfit in England. We were doing a job in Aldershot and one evening we were out having our usual liquid dinner where there was this guy (who, as the night wore on, became more and more moron-like) going around the bar making bets with the other patrons (most of whom seemed to be Army personnel) on trivial things like odds-and-evens, flipping piles beer-mats, etc (I presume the other pommies here know about flipping beer-mats ;) By "last-orders" he had pissed off most of the other patrons to the point where they wouldn't make a bet with him, and with great dismay I saw him look directly at me. As he got up to approach our table he loudly he told his girlfriend to get him another pint before the bartender called "time". I knocked back the dregs of my last pint hoping we could get up to go before he nailed us with his nonsense but my colleagues were still nursing their beers and reluctant to leave. When he got there he offered to play odds-and-even for 50p a shot. I refused. He asked if I'd thought I was any good at flipping beer-mats; he'd bet me 50p he could flip more than I could. I refused. It was obvious the moron would take on almost any challege for a bet so I offered him a race to sink a pint. ( I had a pretty good time in those days; I'd learned how to open my gullet and pour it straight down without swallowing ;) He seemed keen, simply because it was a bet but said that wouldn't be fair as he wasn't very fast at drinking pints. So then I told him I'd bet him 50p I could sink his full pint so fast he would even see the glass leave the table. I had him - hook, line and sinker. He decided he wanted witnesses and made a huge show of setting us up at bar where everyone could watch, calling his girlfriend over with his pint, setting it down and drawing everyone's attention, claiming that if anyone saw the glass leave the bar Iwould lose the bet. I agreed. He started a countdown and at "1" I picked up the pint and downed it in about 3 seconds (I didn't rush ;) "Hey! I saw that - you all saw that, didn't you?" he said. "You win." I said, and put my 50p down on the bar. That's when his face dropped. "Hey! I paid a quid for that pint!" "Well, I paid 50p" I said and walked away. We left very quickly, with the moron glaring daggers at us and his girlfriend p
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: Thanks for a good belly laugh! I'll have to try that one sometime soon...:-D "If it's Snowbird season, why can't we shoot them?" - Overheard in a bar in Bullhead City