NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
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TO: United Kingdom FROM: The United States of America SUBJECT: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum! However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world. To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt: 1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the _original_ spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman). However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor. 2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue. 3. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front. 4. It's inefficient to have a na
:laugh: Best response you have ever posted. Refreshing change :) regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
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NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to be able to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honorable Tony Blair, MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following Rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. 3. You should learn to distinguish the British and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least
Fortunatly for you, here in the US we believe in freedom of the press, so we will allow you to print the above just as long as you like. Try to act on the above though, and you will discover that there are more guns here than people, and we have more people than you do. We know how to use them. I'm not talking about inaccurate, low power, ugly "assult" rifels, I'm talking about good honest hunting guns, able to kill a 500 lbs (not that kilogram junk you scream is better, nor even the stones we know you still use when nobody is looking) animal with no problems. You puny 150 lbs is no problem. Thats just insurance in case you are stupid enough to try something.
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NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to be able to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honorable Tony Blair, MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following Rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. 3. You should learn to distinguish the British and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least
I ws gonna try to have fun here but Mike beat any effort that I could produce so I will just argue a few small points: MwaHaaHaa wrote: You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", God had better save the Queen because the British Army damn sure won't MwaHaaHaa wrote: All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. "Know German Cars" ? I know how they look in the rear view mirror. Over engineered - over priced - and over here. However we have a few little underpriced entries that blow the socks off those semi-intelligent vehicles. Don't have to name them - you know them. Richard Really German Cars ? Polished up sreamlined garbage trucks - damn near as bad as the French roach coach. "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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TO: United Kingdom FROM: The United States of America SUBJECT: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum! However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world. To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt: 1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the _original_ spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman). However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor. 2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue. 3. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front. 4. It's inefficient to have a na
US vs UK.... the dream of any Frenchman :rolleyes:;) Mike Mullikin wrote: we like Jaguars and Aston Martins. That's why we bought the companies. :laugh::laugh::laugh:
Fold With Us! "A leader is a man who can adapt principles to circumstances - Georges S. Patton, 1885–1945"
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TO: United Kingdom FROM: The United States of America SUBJECT: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum! However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world. To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt: 1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the _original_ spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman). However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor. 2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue. 3. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front. 4. It's inefficient to have a na
LOL - did you write this ? It's just as funny as the original. But you can't seriously tell me there's a difference between Canadian and US accents ? Christian I have several lifelong friends that are New Yorkers but I have always gravitated toward the weirdo's. - Richard Stringer
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TO: United Kingdom FROM: The United States of America SUBJECT: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum! However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world. To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt: 1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the _original_ spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman). However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor. 2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue. 3. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front. 4. It's inefficient to have a na
Excellent! :laugh: Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read
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LOL - did you write this ? It's just as funny as the original. But you can't seriously tell me there's a difference between Canadian and US accents ? Christian I have several lifelong friends that are New Yorkers but I have always gravitated toward the weirdo's. - Richard Stringer
Oh there is a difference eh. You will know eh, when you speak to a Canadian eh. Ok eh?
"...practice safe hex when IM'ing" --Shawn L. Morrissey, Managing Editor, MSDN Online ( MSDN Flash; Volume 8, Number 20, 10/4/2004)
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;P :laugh: ;P Top response, I'll give that a 5! Don't forget though, we really don't all hate you - that'll just be be the English penchant for thinking of the world as foreigners even when they're abroad, (I'm Welsh - and will expect the appropriate response to that too :cool: ). I hope the outcome of today doesn't become a legal mess like last time for you guys, who ever gets the vote.
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LOL - did you write this ? It's just as funny as the original. But you can't seriously tell me there's a difference between Canadian and US accents ? Christian I have several lifelong friends that are New Yorkers but I have always gravitated toward the weirdo's. - Richard Stringer
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Christian Graus wrote: did you write this ? Sadly no, I found it on the internet. "Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it." Philip K. Dick
Too bad. I was *very* impressed.... Christian I have several lifelong friends that are New Yorkers but I have always gravitated toward the weirdo's. - Richard Stringer
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:laugh: Best response you have ever posted. Refreshing change :) regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
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I ws gonna try to have fun here but Mike beat any effort that I could produce so I will just argue a few small points: MwaHaaHaa wrote: You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", God had better save the Queen because the British Army damn sure won't MwaHaaHaa wrote: All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. "Know German Cars" ? I know how they look in the rear view mirror. Over engineered - over priced - and over here. However we have a few little underpriced entries that blow the socks off those semi-intelligent vehicles. Don't have to name them - you know them. Richard Really German Cars ? Polished up sreamlined garbage trucks - damn near as bad as the French roach coach. "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
>Don't have to name them - you know them. Count me ignorant. I am genuinely curious as to which American cars you think are better than German cars. regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
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>Don't have to name them - you know them. Count me ignorant. I am genuinely curious as to which American cars you think are better than German cars. regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
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I'll take my 240hp Accord Sedan EX over all of them. :-D "Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it." Philip K. Dick
Damn fine car that, gives zee Germans a real run for their money in all departments. Not American though ;) regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
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I'll take my 240hp Accord Sedan EX over all of them. :-D "Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it." Philip K. Dick
I forgot to ask; What colour did you get? The gun metal grey? regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
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Damn fine car that, gives zee Germans a real run for their money in all departments. Not American though ;) regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
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I forgot to ask; What colour did you get? The gun metal grey? regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
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>Don't have to name them - you know them. Count me ignorant. I am genuinely curious as to which American cars you think are better than German cars. regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
The corvette is superior to any German production sports car. http://www.chevrolet.com/corvette/[^] The Viper is superior in acceleration to any German vehicle but doesn't handle as well as some of the German vehicles. But is considerably cheaper. http://www.dodge.com/viper/[^] The Ford GT appears to be awesome but I have not personally driven one http://www.fordvehicles.com/fordgt/home.asp[^] The Caddy STS is a BMW drivers worst nightmare http://www.caranddriver.com/article.asp?section_id=3&article_id=8279[^] For an all around nifty little sports vehicle the Mustang is hard to beat on a price/performance basis. http://www.allfordmustangs.com/[^] If I knew what kind of car you were interested in I could narrow the search but in racing circles the German entries have been deficient for some time now. There are some nice import vehicles in the SUV and 4WD catagories such as the Taureg etc... but as far as off road performance is concerned its kinda hard to beat a Jeep. Richard "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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>Don't have to name them - you know them. Count me ignorant. I am genuinely curious as to which American cars you think are better than German cars. regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
I can only think of one at the moment: the Corvette. Regards, Alvaro
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. - George W. Bush
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I'll take my 240hp Accord Sedan EX over all of them. :-D "Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it." Philip K. Dick
Mike Mullikin wrote: I'll take my 240hp Accord Sedan EX over all of them. I have a fully restored Thunderbird Super Coupe that will lay most of them in the trash unless we have to start those pesky twisty turns a lot. Mines a 90 but looks almost exactly like this http://www.sccoa.com/articles/sfbillhull.php[^] Richard "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)