JOTD
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NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out,they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out,they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
:laugh: excellent
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit. I'm currently blogging about: The Secular Left, the Religious Right, and Prejudice Judah Himango
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NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out,they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
John McIlroy wrote: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. That's my favorite. Except I say I hate cats. X| Vikram.
http://www.geocities.com/vpunathambekar "It's like hitting water with your fist. There's all sorts of motion and noise at impact, and no impression left whatsoever shortly thereafter." — gantww.
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NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out,they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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John McIlroy wrote: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. That's my favorite. Except I say I hate cats. X| Vikram.
http://www.geocities.com/vpunathambekar "It's like hitting water with your fist. There's all sorts of motion and noise at impact, and no impression left whatsoever shortly thereafter." — gantww.
Vikram A Punathambekar wrote: Except I say I hate cats. I don't hate cats. They are so cute when deep frying...:mad: Rui A. Rebelo Computers are useless, they can only provide answers. Pablo Picasso
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John McIlroy wrote: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. That's my favorite. Except I say I hate cats. X| Vikram.
http://www.geocities.com/vpunathambekar "It's like hitting water with your fist. There's all sorts of motion and noise at impact, and no impression left whatsoever shortly thereafter." — gantww.
I used to hate cats, mostly because of allergies. Me and my brothers used to launch them sky high, either by foot or fling. :-) But recently my wife has convinced[^] me otherwise. :-)
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit. I'm currently blogging about: The Secular Left, the Religious Right, and Prejudice Judah Himango
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John McIlroy wrote: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. That's my favorite. Except I say I hate cats. X| Vikram.
http://www.geocities.com/vpunathambekar "It's like hitting water with your fist. There's all sorts of motion and noise at impact, and no impression left whatsoever shortly thereafter." — gantww.
I'm a cat person surprisingly enough ;) The tigress is here :-D
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NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out,they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Well, I thought this was all pretty funny. However, I just sent a few of the lines to a female friend who wants more out of me than friendship. Somehow she didn't see the humor in it. Oops! My articles www.stillwaterexpress.com BlackDice
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John McIlroy wrote: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. That's my favorite. Except I say I hate cats. X| Vikram.
http://www.geocities.com/vpunathambekar "It's like hitting water with your fist. There's all sorts of motion and noise at impact, and no impression left whatsoever shortly thereafter." — gantww.
Vikram A Punathambekar wrote: I hate cats. I had to look after two cats (well, kittens then) for friends of mine earlier this year (February). The scars have almost entirely faded away by now :| And don't talk to me about litter trays X|
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I'm a cat person surprisingly enough ;) The tigress is here :-D
Trollslayer wrote: The tigress is here Don't you mean you are a cat?
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I used to hate cats, mostly because of allergies. Me and my brothers used to launch them sky high, either by foot or fling. :-) But recently my wife has convinced[^] me otherwise. :-)
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit. I'm currently blogging about: The Secular Left, the Religious Right, and Prejudice Judah Himango
We have two cats, Sassy and Cinder-ella , and two dogs , Annie and ShortStuff. Annie is a border collie/chow mix and weighs in at about 85 lbs. She was a 11 week old puppie when we got Sassy and they think that they are related in some way - they groom each other and sleep together - eat each others food. ShortStuff ( a long haired Daschund) and Cinder-ella ( she is a cider gray color and my grand daughter named her Cinder ) are a little more aloof but will play with each other. I think that they all beleive they are in the same pack or something. Its quite amusing. Cats are a lot dumber than dogs. Richard In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day? --Unknown
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Trollslayer wrote: The tigress is here Don't you mean you are a cat?
Feline ;P The tigress is here :-D
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Vikram A Punathambekar wrote: I hate cats. I had to look after two cats (well, kittens then) for friends of mine earlier this year (February). The scars have almost entirely faded away by now :| And don't talk to me about litter trays X|
Ian Darling wrote: The scars have almost entirely faded away by now Just train them to ride on your shoulder and a piece of leather under your shirt will have everyone wonder how you could survive that much pain and still smile. Cats have actually taken quite a liking to their shoulder rides... but my ex complained when they would jump on her shoulder expecting a ride. :-O _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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We have two cats, Sassy and Cinder-ella , and two dogs , Annie and ShortStuff. Annie is a border collie/chow mix and weighs in at about 85 lbs. She was a 11 week old puppie when we got Sassy and they think that they are related in some way - they groom each other and sleep together - eat each others food. ShortStuff ( a long haired Daschund) and Cinder-ella ( she is a cider gray color and my grand daughter named her Cinder ) are a little more aloof but will play with each other. I think that they all beleive they are in the same pack or something. Its quite amusing. Cats are a lot dumber than dogs. Richard In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day? --Unknown
Richard Stringer wrote: Cats are a lot dumber than dogs. I have a German Shephard (now living with my parents as our landlord doesn't allow dogs), honestly, the most loyal, protective, intelligent dog on the planet. The way he reacted to me when I was happy, sad, angry, he always knew and would respond accordingly. Our cat, Munch, is nothing like that; cats fall way short of dogs in my book.
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit. I'm currently blogging about: The Secular Left, the Religious Right, and Prejudice Judah Himango
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I used to hate cats, mostly because of allergies. Me and my brothers used to launch them sky high, either by foot or fling. :-) But recently my wife has convinced[^] me otherwise. :-)
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit. I'm currently blogging about: The Secular Left, the Religious Right, and Prejudice Judah Himango
The great thing about cats is they are easy to care for. I have one cat, Alley, and just adopted an 8 week old kitten, Flea. It'll be some extra work getting Alley to accept Flea and just dealing with a little kitten, but soon enough I'll be able to take off again for 2-3 days at a time and not even consider the cats. You can't do that with dogs. Cats are still entertaining, and low maintenance far outweighs any extra "comraderie" you get from a dog. BW
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."-- Groucho Marx
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Richard Stringer wrote: Cats are a lot dumber than dogs. I have a German Shephard (now living with my parents as our landlord doesn't allow dogs), honestly, the most loyal, protective, intelligent dog on the planet. The way he reacted to me when I was happy, sad, angry, he always knew and would respond accordingly. Our cat, Munch, is nothing like that; cats fall way short of dogs in my book.
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit. I'm currently blogging about: The Secular Left, the Religious Right, and Prejudice Judah Himango
Judah Himango wrote: I have a German Shephard We were blessed to own a really great Shepard for 12 great years. His name was Simeon and he was a big gentle giant. About 95 lbs , perfect coloring, a big head with those bright intelligent eyes. He would herd the kids - really. He loved to go to the lake and swim and chase birds. Just a great dog. He died from a stomach obstruction and I cried like a baby. He is the dog I compare all my other dogs to. Haven't found his equal yet. Richard In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day? --Unknown
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The great thing about cats is they are easy to care for. I have one cat, Alley, and just adopted an 8 week old kitten, Flea. It'll be some extra work getting Alley to accept Flea and just dealing with a little kitten, but soon enough I'll be able to take off again for 2-3 days at a time and not even consider the cats. You can't do that with dogs. Cats are still entertaining, and low maintenance far outweighs any extra "comraderie" you get from a dog. BW
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."-- Groucho Marx
Our cat is low maintenance only because we bought a robotic poop scoop. :-) My Shepherd was an outdoor dog, maintenance involved food & water, and a walk (or a run, because he loved to run) but that latter was good for me anyway, I need to get out and excercise. And a dog is the perfect motivation for that. I don't know about all dogs, but I definitely could connect with my dog on an level that just has never occurred for me with a cat. Until you get a really good dog, I think it'd be hard to understand.
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit. I'm currently blogging about: The Secular Left, the Religious Right, and Prejudice Judah Himango
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Our cat is low maintenance only because we bought a robotic poop scoop. :-) My Shepherd was an outdoor dog, maintenance involved food & water, and a walk (or a run, because he loved to run) but that latter was good for me anyway, I need to get out and excercise. And a dog is the perfect motivation for that. I don't know about all dogs, but I definitely could connect with my dog on an level that just has never occurred for me with a cat. Until you get a really good dog, I think it'd be hard to understand.
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit. I'm currently blogging about: The Secular Left, the Religious Right, and Prejudice Judah Himango
I had 3 different dogs while growing up. I thought they were great and hated my neighbor's cats. I didn't understand the attraction. Then, about 5 yrs. ago, I was living in an apartment and decided to get a cat. She's mostly mean, aloof at best, to other people, but is cool with me. We have our understanding, goof around, and there's a certain bond between us. Not quite what I had with my dogs, but I can't say I miss it. I'd get another dog if I was willing to devote more time and had a bigger yard for him to run around in. BW
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."-- Groucho Marx
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Richard Stringer wrote: Cats are a lot dumber than dogs. I have a German Shephard (now living with my parents as our landlord doesn't allow dogs), honestly, the most loyal, protective, intelligent dog on the planet. The way he reacted to me when I was happy, sad, angry, he always knew and would respond accordingly. Our cat, Munch, is nothing like that; cats fall way short of dogs in my book.
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit. I'm currently blogging about: The Secular Left, the Religious Right, and Prejudice Judah Himango
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NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out,they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Nice :-)