Funny Programming quotes
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Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed......Oh wait, he does. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs Beware of Geeks bearing .gifs There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. The two most dangerous things in the world: A Pollock with a computer and a programmer with a screwdriver. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny. Who is General Protection Fault and why is he reading my hard disk? I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!! Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" Should the year 2000 VW Beetle be refered to as the "Y2K Bug"? With no walls or fences on the Internet, who needs Windows or Gates? Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast A computer scientist is someone who, when told to 'Go to Hell', sees the 'go to', rather than the destination, as harmful. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. - Dick Brandon Behind every good computer -- is a jumble of wires 'n stuff. A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button. Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken (1900-1972) --American Engineer, developed the first computers for IBM Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader There is no 'patch' for stupidity. - found on SQLSecurity.com
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Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed......Oh wait, he does. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs Beware of Geeks bearing .gifs There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. The two most dangerous things in the world: A Pollock with a computer and a programmer with a screwdriver. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny. Who is General Protection Fault and why is he reading my hard disk? I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!! Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" Should the year 2000 VW Beetle be refered to as the "Y2K Bug"? With no walls or fences on the Internet, who needs Windows or Gates? Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast A computer scientist is someone who, when told to 'Go to Hell', sees the 'go to', rather than the destination, as harmful. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. - Dick Brandon Behind every good computer -- is a jumble of wires 'n stuff. A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button. Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken (1900-1972) --American Engineer, developed the first computers for IBM Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader There is no 'patch' for stupidity. - found on SQLSecurity.com
Very funny, thanks for sharing. Paul
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Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed......Oh wait, he does. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs Beware of Geeks bearing .gifs There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. The two most dangerous things in the world: A Pollock with a computer and a programmer with a screwdriver. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny. Who is General Protection Fault and why is he reading my hard disk? I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!! Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" Should the year 2000 VW Beetle be refered to as the "Y2K Bug"? With no walls or fences on the Internet, who needs Windows or Gates? Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast A computer scientist is someone who, when told to 'Go to Hell', sees the 'go to', rather than the destination, as harmful. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. - Dick Brandon Behind every good computer -- is a jumble of wires 'n stuff. A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button. Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken (1900-1972) --American Engineer, developed the first computers for IBM Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader There is no 'patch' for stupidity. - found on SQLSecurity.com
Chris LaQuerre wrote:
A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
I do this because ....
Chris LaQuerre wrote:
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
if this is true, then some idiot could very well be driving the wrong way on the one-way street...
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Chris LaQuerre wrote:
A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
I do this because ....
Chris LaQuerre wrote:
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
if this is true, then some idiot could very well be driving the wrong way on the one-way street...
Or maybe because I am 75% deaf and it does not burn up very much energy being a little more aware of my surroundings...
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Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed......Oh wait, he does. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs Beware of Geeks bearing .gifs There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. The two most dangerous things in the world: A Pollock with a computer and a programmer with a screwdriver. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny. Who is General Protection Fault and why is he reading my hard disk? I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!! Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" Should the year 2000 VW Beetle be refered to as the "Y2K Bug"? With no walls or fences on the Internet, who needs Windows or Gates? Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast A computer scientist is someone who, when told to 'Go to Hell', sees the 'go to', rather than the destination, as harmful. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. - Dick Brandon Behind every good computer -- is a jumble of wires 'n stuff. A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button. Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken (1900-1972) --American Engineer, developed the first computers for IBM Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader There is no 'patch' for stupidity. - found on SQLSecurity.com
Thanks: very amusing. I was going to add a couple of my own but they just didn't look that funny once I typed them out. www.merrens.com
www.bkmrx.com -
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed......Oh wait, he does. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs Beware of Geeks bearing .gifs There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. The two most dangerous things in the world: A Pollock with a computer and a programmer with a screwdriver. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny. Who is General Protection Fault and why is he reading my hard disk? I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!! Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" Should the year 2000 VW Beetle be refered to as the "Y2K Bug"? With no walls or fences on the Internet, who needs Windows or Gates? Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast A computer scientist is someone who, when told to 'Go to Hell', sees the 'go to', rather than the destination, as harmful. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. - Dick Brandon Behind every good computer -- is a jumble of wires 'n stuff. A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button. Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken (1900-1972) --American Engineer, developed the first computers for IBM Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader There is no 'patch' for stupidity. - found on SQLSecurity.com
Chris LaQuerre wrote:
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
:laugh: Jon Sagara Look at him. He runs like a Welshman. Doesn't he run like a Welshman? Doesn't he? I think he runs like a Welshman. Sagara.org | Blog | My Articles
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Chris LaQuerre wrote:
A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
I do this because ....
Chris LaQuerre wrote:
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
if this is true, then some idiot could very well be driving the wrong way on the one-way street...
computerguru92382 wrote:
some idiot could very well be driving the wrong way on the one-way street
I live on a one-way street, and it happens at least once a week.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed......Oh wait, he does. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs Beware of Geeks bearing .gifs There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. The two most dangerous things in the world: A Pollock with a computer and a programmer with a screwdriver. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny. Who is General Protection Fault and why is he reading my hard disk? I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!! Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" Should the year 2000 VW Beetle be refered to as the "Y2K Bug"? With no walls or fences on the Internet, who needs Windows or Gates? Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast A computer scientist is someone who, when told to 'Go to Hell', sees the 'go to', rather than the destination, as harmful. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. - Dick Brandon Behind every good computer -- is a jumble of wires 'n stuff. A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button. Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken (1900-1972) --American Engineer, developed the first computers for IBM Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader There is no 'patch' for stupidity. - found on SQLSecurity.com
Chris LaQuerre wrote:
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Misquote. The actual quote is There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and BSD. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. :) Jared Parsons jaredp@beanseed.org http://spaces.msn.com/members/jaredp/
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Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed......Oh wait, he does. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs Beware of Geeks bearing .gifs There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. The two most dangerous things in the world: A Pollock with a computer and a programmer with a screwdriver. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny. Who is General Protection Fault and why is he reading my hard disk? I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!! Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" Should the year 2000 VW Beetle be refered to as the "Y2K Bug"? With no walls or fences on the Internet, who needs Windows or Gates? Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast A computer scientist is someone who, when told to 'Go to Hell', sees the 'go to', rather than the destination, as harmful. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. - Dick Brandon Behind every good computer -- is a jumble of wires 'n stuff. A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button. Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken (1900-1972) --American Engineer, developed the first computers for IBM Chris LaQuerre eBusiness Projects Leader There is no 'patch' for stupidity. - found on SQLSecurity.com
Chris LaQuerre wrote:
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
...if you teach him how to program and show him Code Project, he won't bother you for a month :) Paul
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Chris LaQuerre wrote:
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Misquote. The actual quote is There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and BSD. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. :) Jared Parsons jaredp@beanseed.org http://spaces.msn.com/members/jaredp/
FreeBSD rulez!!
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computerguru92382 wrote:
some idiot could very well be driving the wrong way on the one-way street
I live on a one-way street, and it happens at least once a week.
Software Zen:
delete this;It is probably because some idiot stole the road sign (happened to me once. You need to try driving the wrong lane at least once just to see the expressions of the other drivers :P)
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Chris LaQuerre wrote:
A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
I do this because ....
Chris LaQuerre wrote:
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
if this is true, then some idiot could very well be driving the wrong way on the one-way street...
Yes the send button one for you :p hehe, but very true. Better to be realistic than optimistic :) xacc.ide-0.1.0.12 released! Now even prettier than the last build :) Download and screenshots
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It is probably because some idiot stole the road sign (happened to me once. You need to try driving the wrong lane at least once just to see the expressions of the other drivers :P)
Actually not. The neighborhood is a set of three one-way streets, in alternating directions. The streets are long; close to a mile. People get lazy and won't drive 1/4 mile to one of the cross streets to work their way back out. I yelled at a guy one time who was driving the wrong way at high speed (he was probably doing 45-50 mph; it's a residential neighborhood, where the limit's 25 mph). He stopped and I told him he was going the wrong way and way too fast; there are kids playing. He told me, "I don't give a f*ck about your f*cking kids. If they get in my way, I'll run'em down." He pulled out and went down the next cross street. I called the cops; it turns out he was driving under a suspended license.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
Actually not. The neighborhood is a set of three one-way streets, in alternating directions. The streets are long; close to a mile. People get lazy and won't drive 1/4 mile to one of the cross streets to work their way back out. I yelled at a guy one time who was driving the wrong way at high speed (he was probably doing 45-50 mph; it's a residential neighborhood, where the limit's 25 mph). He stopped and I told him he was going the wrong way and way too fast; there are kids playing. He told me, "I don't give a f*ck about your f*cking kids. If they get in my way, I'll run'em down." He pulled out and went down the next cross street. I called the cops; it turns out he was driving under a suspended license.
Software Zen:
delete this;Idiots are everywhere. If you're driving the wrong way at least do it slowly and discreetly. That is if you absolutly must to do it.