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Dial-up connection via WSH

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  • F Offline
    F Offline
    feinstaub
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Hello! How can I determine via WSH whether my WindowsXP workstation is online? And how can I access the properties of my dial-up connections? I try to write a script that will allow to change the default Dial-up connection / Shared internet connection. The script should also be able to establish and shut down a specific internet connection. Thank you very much...

    realJSOPR N 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • F feinstaub

      Hello! How can I determine via WSH whether my WindowsXP workstation is online? And how can I access the properties of my dial-up connections? I try to write a script that will allow to change the default Dial-up connection / Shared internet connection. The script should also be able to establish and shut down a specific internet connection. Thank you very much...

      realJSOPR Offline
      realJSOPR Offline
      realJSOP
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Take two cans, and tie a string between them. Next, use your hand to simulate an anal cavity and blow into it quickly, three times (be careful, more than three times and your hamster will explode). Next drop your pants in public and run counterclockwise around a bus stop shouting "The Queen is MINE!". Now comes the hard part. Walk up to an elephant and whack off it's truck with a chainsaw. Take the newly acquired elephant trunk and compare it to your own, ummm, trunk. If the elephant trunk is larger, pay yourself $50, fill the trunk with clothes, and ship the two cans (with the string) to Taiwan. If you're worried about postage, staple your hamster to the outside of the box and mark it "Express". If you're still connected to the internet, then you probably skipped a step in there somewhere. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

      C J L 3 Replies Last reply
      0
      • realJSOPR realJSOP

        Take two cans, and tie a string between them. Next, use your hand to simulate an anal cavity and blow into it quickly, three times (be careful, more than three times and your hamster will explode). Next drop your pants in public and run counterclockwise around a bus stop shouting "The Queen is MINE!". Now comes the hard part. Walk up to an elephant and whack off it's truck with a chainsaw. Take the newly acquired elephant trunk and compare it to your own, ummm, trunk. If the elephant trunk is larger, pay yourself $50, fill the trunk with clothes, and ship the two cans (with the string) to Taiwan. If you're worried about postage, staple your hamster to the outside of the box and mark it "Express". If you're still connected to the internet, then you probably skipped a step in there somewhere. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

        C Offline
        C Offline
        Chris Maunder
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        :omg:

        realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • C Chris Maunder

          :omg:

          realJSOPR Offline
          realJSOPR Offline
          realJSOP
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          That's what he gets for posting a normal question in this forum. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

          N 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • realJSOPR realJSOP

            Take two cans, and tie a string between them. Next, use your hand to simulate an anal cavity and blow into it quickly, three times (be careful, more than three times and your hamster will explode). Next drop your pants in public and run counterclockwise around a bus stop shouting "The Queen is MINE!". Now comes the hard part. Walk up to an elephant and whack off it's truck with a chainsaw. Take the newly acquired elephant trunk and compare it to your own, ummm, trunk. If the elephant trunk is larger, pay yourself $50, fill the trunk with clothes, and ship the two cans (with the string) to Taiwan. If you're worried about postage, staple your hamster to the outside of the box and mark it "Express". If you're still connected to the internet, then you probably skipped a step in there somewhere. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

            J Offline
            J Offline
            Jim Crafton
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Man I have tears all over I'm laughing so hard ! That's just beautiful I hope this gets saved for posterities(sp?) sake ! What nice to note to end a rather dull evening...

            realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • F feinstaub

              Hello! How can I determine via WSH whether my WindowsXP workstation is online? And how can I access the properties of my dial-up connections? I try to write a script that will allow to change the default Dial-up connection / Shared internet connection. The script should also be able to establish and shut down a specific internet connection. Thank you very much...

              N Offline
              N Offline
              Nish Nishant
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Wrong forum :-) Most definitely, wrong forum... Nish The lady in red is dancing with me Cheek to cheek There's nobody here It's just you and me It's where I wanna be But I hardly know this beauty by my side I'll never forget the way you look tonight

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • realJSOPR realJSOP

                That's what he gets for posting a normal question in this forum. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

                N Offline
                N Offline
                Nish Nishant
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Hi John When you change your CP screen name, your articles get disassociated with your name. http://www.codeproject.com/script/profile/whos\_who.asp?id=7741 You'll find there the following :- Messages Posted (while logged in) 2004 Articles Submitted (as sole author) 0 Dunno why! Anyway thought I'd let you know :-) Nish The lady in red is dancing with me Cheek to cheek There's nobody here It's just you and me It's where I wanna be But I hardly know this beauty by my side I'll never forget the way you look tonight

                realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • N Nish Nishant

                  Hi John When you change your CP screen name, your articles get disassociated with your name. http://www.codeproject.com/script/profile/whos\_who.asp?id=7741 You'll find there the following :- Messages Posted (while logged in) 2004 Articles Submitted (as sole author) 0 Dunno why! Anyway thought I'd let you know :-) Nish The lady in red is dancing with me Cheek to cheek There's nobody here It's just you and me It's where I wanna be But I hardly know this beauty by my side I'll never forget the way you look tonight

                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOP
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  I'm not concerned with article or message counts, and given some time, I may even change my name back to the original version. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

                  C 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • J Jim Crafton

                    Man I have tears all over I'm laughing so hard ! That's just beautiful I hope this gets saved for posterities(sp?) sake ! What nice to note to end a rather dull evening...

                    realJSOPR Offline
                    realJSOPR Offline
                    realJSOP
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    I am here but to serve. :) "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • realJSOPR realJSOP

                      I'm not concerned with article or message counts, and given some time, I may even change my name back to the original version. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Chris Maunder
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      And given more time I'll pull my finger out and get the articles and your accounts hooked up the way they should be, instead of the current duct-tape and string setup currently in place. cheers, Chris Maunder

                      realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • realJSOPR realJSOP

                        Take two cans, and tie a string between them. Next, use your hand to simulate an anal cavity and blow into it quickly, three times (be careful, more than three times and your hamster will explode). Next drop your pants in public and run counterclockwise around a bus stop shouting "The Queen is MINE!". Now comes the hard part. Walk up to an elephant and whack off it's truck with a chainsaw. Take the newly acquired elephant trunk and compare it to your own, ummm, trunk. If the elephant trunk is larger, pay yourself $50, fill the trunk with clothes, and ship the two cans (with the string) to Taiwan. If you're worried about postage, staple your hamster to the outside of the box and mark it "Express". If you're still connected to the internet, then you probably skipped a step in there somewhere. "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Purple Warhead / outlaw programmer wrote: Take two cans, and tie a string between them. Next, use your hand to simulate an anal cavity and blow into it quickly, three times (be careful, more than three times and your hamster will explode). Next drop your pants in public and run counterclockwise around a bus stop shouting "The Queen is MINE!". ..Or swallow a few bullets, and add a plate of baked beans. Next, when the urge comes, go upto a punk who is robbing a store, take up the firing position and warn the punk GO AHEAD PUNK MAKE MY DAY.. Or better still, read the humor coming fresh out of the purple shoot clogged with brown matter.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • C Chris Maunder

                          And given more time I'll pull my finger out and get the articles and your accounts hooked up the way they should be, instead of the current duct-tape and string setup currently in place. cheers, Chris Maunder

                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOP
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Why do gay men wrap their hamsters with duct tape? So the hamsters won't exlpode when they fuck 'em. Got any staples? "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

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