Engineers Explained (Really Long Read)
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Sorry if it's a repost. Got this in the mail and thought it was good enough for the lounge. People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming. Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word "engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life whom you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to discern the truth. ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST: You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. Do you: A. Straighten it. B. Ignore it. C. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron. The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing". SOCIAL SKILLS: Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction: * Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation * Important social contacts * A feeling of connectedness with other humans In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions: * Get it over with as soon as possible. * Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant. * Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects. FASCINATION WITH GADGETS: To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed; and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems available within the immediate vicinity, engineers will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it
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Sorry if it's a repost. Got this in the mail and thought it was good enough for the lounge. People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming. Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word "engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life whom you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to discern the truth. ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST: You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. Do you: A. Straighten it. B. Ignore it. C. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron. The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing". SOCIAL SKILLS: Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction: * Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation * Important social contacts * A feeling of connectedness with other humans In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions: * Get it over with as soon as possible. * Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant. * Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects. FASCINATION WITH GADGETS: To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed; and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems available within the immediate vicinity, engineers will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it
parths wrote:
The engineer will set upon the problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.
A definite yes if Shake 'n Bake is involved. Paul
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Sorry if it's a repost. Got this in the mail and thought it was good enough for the lounge. People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming. Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word "engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life whom you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to discern the truth. ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST: You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. Do you: A. Straighten it. B. Ignore it. C. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron. The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing". SOCIAL SKILLS: Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction: * Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation * Important social contacts * A feeling of connectedness with other humans In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions: * Get it over with as soon as possible. * Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant. * Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects. FASCINATION WITH GADGETS: To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed; and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems available within the immediate vicinity, engineers will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician from the same university attend a conference together. After the opening night, they adjourn to the hotel's lounge where they hava a couple of merry drinks and cigars. The stogies burn long and they take them back to their rooms. Each of them, slightly inebriated, toss the cigar into the trash can and pass out on their beds. The engineer awakens to see smoke billowing from the refuse container. He spies the ice bucket on the counter, fills it with water from the sink, and pours it into the waste can putting out the fire. The physicist awakes to see a fire, too, sees the ice bucket, the sink, a pencil, and some paper. He quickly calculates the rate of the fire's growth, how long it will take for him to come to a solution, how much water it will take to extinguish the fire, and the volume of the ice bucket. He fills the deep sink with water, uses the Archimedean principle to measure the correct amount of water, and pours it into the waste can. The mathematician wakes up and sees the blaze in his trash can. He spies the ice bucket, the sink, and the faucet, realizes that a solution exists, and rolls back over to go back to sleep. "we must lose precision to make significant statements about complex systems." -deKorvin on uncertainty
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Sorry if it's a repost. Got this in the mail and thought it was good enough for the lounge. People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming. Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word "engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life whom you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to discern the truth. ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST: You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. Do you: A. Straighten it. B. Ignore it. C. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron. The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing". SOCIAL SKILLS: Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction: * Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation * Important social contacts * A feeling of connectedness with other humans In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions: * Get it over with as soon as possible. * Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant. * Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects. FASCINATION WITH GADGETS: To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed; and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems available within the immediate vicinity, engineers will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it
parths wrote:
Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid-thirties to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in technical professions:
This is so hilarious. But it would definitely be more humorous if it was actually monologued. Brett A. Whittington Application Developer