JOTD 2
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One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "That's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he sees that it's a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Ten years," replies the Irishman. With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Faith and begorah! Is that ever good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of whiskey?" she asks him. Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"
"Absolution requires sacrifice" -- Dan Brown 'The Da Vinci code'
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One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "That's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he sees that it's a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Ten years," replies the Irishman. With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Faith and begorah! Is that ever good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of whiskey?" she asks him. Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"
"Absolution requires sacrifice" -- Dan Brown 'The Da Vinci code'
An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!" "How did you know?" he asks. "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
My take on gmail - Is gmail just a fashion statement? My blog on C++/CLI, MFC/Win32, .NET - void Nish(char* szBlog); My MVP tips, tricks and essays web site - www.voidnish.com
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One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "That's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he sees that it's a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Ten years," replies the Irishman. With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Faith and begorah! Is that ever good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of whiskey?" she asks him. Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"
"Absolution requires sacrifice" -- Dan Brown 'The Da Vinci code'
:laugh::laugh::laugh: And here I thought that the Scots were the golfers of the world!:-D Nice one, WiB! "My kid was Inmate of the Month at Adobe Mountain Juvenile Corrections Center" - Bumper Sticker in Bullhead City
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An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!" "How did you know?" he asks. "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
My take on gmail - Is gmail just a fashion statement? My blog on C++/CLI, MFC/Win32, .NET - void Nish(char* szBlog); My MVP tips, tricks and essays web site - www.voidnish.com
:laugh::laugh: I hate when I do that...:sigh: "My kid was Inmate of the Month at Adobe Mountain Juvenile Corrections Center" - Bumper Sticker in Bullhead City
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:laugh::laugh: I hate when I do that...:sigh: "My kid was Inmate of the Month at Adobe Mountain Juvenile Corrections Center" - Bumper Sticker in Bullhead City
An Irish man is in his local, talking to an American tourist. The American is boasting about how America do everything 'bigger and better' - especially when it comes to eating and drinking!. So Paddy, a little incensed, says that he knows for a fact that an Irishman can out drink an American. The American responds by issuing a challenge - if Paddy can drink 10 pints of Guiness in three minutes, he'll pay for all drinks in the bar that night! 'Sure, no problem at all', says Paddy, 'But I got one condition...' 'What's that?' says the American. 'I need to leave the bar for 10 mins' 'Uh...ok..' the American says with a vocal shrug. So Paddy dashes off and about 9.5 minutes later returns to the bar, swaying a little. In the meantime, the bar man has lined up 10 pints of the lovely black brew which Paddy proceeds to down in about 2mins 45s. The American is amazed, and with resignation, puts his credit card behind the bar. The regulars are very happy, as you can imagine! The barman says takes Paddy aside, a little curious, as says 'Good on ya Paddy, great showing there, but can I ask...where did you nip off too? 'Well, to be honest Michael, I had to go to the pub down the road' 'Whatever for?' 'To see if I could do it'