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  3. What's the difference between heaven and hell?

What's the difference between heaven and hell?

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  • D Offline
    D Offline
    David Cunningham
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Heaven: German engineering, French cooking and English literature. Hell: German literature, French engineering, and English cooking. :-D A friend told me this joke about 15 years ago and it popped into my brain this morning for some reason. (apologies to the usual offended parties) David

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    • D David Cunningham

      Heaven: German engineering, French cooking and English literature. Hell: German literature, French engineering, and English cooking. :-D A friend told me this joke about 15 years ago and it popped into my brain this morning for some reason. (apologies to the usual offended parties) David

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      thowra
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      French cooking == English cooking with a sauce on it "Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

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      • T thowra

        French cooking == English cooking with a sauce on it "Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

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        Daniel Turini
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Vincent : And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Jules : They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese? Vincent : No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is. Jules : Then what do they call it? Vincent : They call it a "Royale" with cheese. Jules : A "Royale" with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac? Vincent : Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "le Big-Mac". Jules : "Le Big-Mac". Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper? Vincent : I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King. Yes, even I am blogging now!

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        • T thowra

          French cooking == English cooking with a sauce on it "Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

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          KaRl
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          :wtf::omg::wtf::omg::wtf: Definitively not! :suss:


          Tu tues une baleine, t'auras les écolos, t'auras Greenpeace, t'auras le commandant Cousteau sur le dos! Mais décime un banc de sardines, j'aime autant te dire qu'on t'aidera à les mettre en boîte!

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          • D David Cunningham

            Heaven: German engineering, French cooking and English literature. Hell: German literature, French engineering, and English cooking. :-D A friend told me this joke about 15 years ago and it popped into my brain this morning for some reason. (apologies to the usual offended parties) David

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            Colin Angus Mackay
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Before reading your post I was going to say that Hell[^] is near Trondheim in Norway and Heaven[^] is just across the Bay from San Francisco.


            "If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him, for an investment in knowledge pays the best interest." -- Joseph E. O'Donnell Not getting the response you want from a question asked in an online forum: How to Ask Questions the Smart Way!

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            • D Daniel Turini

              Vincent : And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Jules : They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese? Vincent : No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is. Jules : Then what do they call it? Vincent : They call it a "Royale" with cheese. Jules : A "Royale" with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac? Vincent : Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "le Big-Mac". Jules : "Le Big-Mac". Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper? Vincent : I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King. Yes, even I am blogging now!

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              David Stone
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              :-D I love Pulp Fiction. I just got the 2-disc collector's edition. :)


              Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

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              • K KaRl

                :wtf::omg::wtf::omg::wtf: Definitively not! :suss:


                Tu tues une baleine, t'auras les écolos, t'auras Greenpeace, t'auras le commandant Cousteau sur le dos! Mais décime un banc de sardines, j'aime autant te dire qu'on t'aidera à les mettre en boîte!

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                thowra
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Oh that's right, I forgot about force-feeding ducks until their livers almost explode, keeping calves in tiny boxes until they're slaughtered, chopping the legs off living creatures (frogs) and of course the famous snails. Yummy :rolleyes: "Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

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                • D David Cunningham

                  Heaven: German engineering, French cooking and English literature. Hell: German literature, French engineering, and English cooking. :-D A friend told me this joke about 15 years ago and it popped into my brain this morning for some reason. (apologies to the usual offended parties) David

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                  Tim Deveaux
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  In heaven you get a harp. In hell you get an accordion.

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                  • T thowra

                    Oh that's right, I forgot about force-feeding ducks until their livers almost explode, keeping calves in tiny boxes until they're slaughtered, chopping the legs off living creatures (frogs) and of course the famous snails. Yummy :rolleyes: "Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

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                    Shog9 0
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Hey, don't knock snails. They may be small, but not everyone has a good source of mussels.
                    You**'re one microscopic cog** in his catastrophic plan...

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                    • T thowra

                      French cooking == English cooking with a sauce on it "Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

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                      Shog9 0
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Donno, man... Never been to either place myself, but from what i hear they didn't serve the prez a dish of "mushy peas" when he was in France... :~
                      You**'re one microscopic cog** in his catastrophic plan...

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                      • S Shog9 0

                        Hey, don't knock snails. They may be small, but not everyone has a good source of mussels.
                        You**'re one microscopic cog** in his catastrophic plan...

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                        thowra
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        I like snails, particularly the turbo ones in marine aquaria :) designed and directed by his red, right hand - top song by the way :) As for French food, they make nice bread but that's about it. I've always been disappointed whenever I've ventured into a French restaurant. In fact I remember one time, having had a starter, I decided I didn't want anything on the main menu and left the restaurant to go across the road for a pizza instead. I find just about any other nation's food preferable to French food, and the latter doesn't even come close to the fantastic flavours and variations avaiable in (say) Indian cuisine. No longer eating meat also puts one in a difficult position when eating in France. The French simply feel sorry for you :) "Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

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                        • D David Cunningham

                          Heaven: German engineering, French cooking and English literature. Hell: German literature, French engineering, and English cooking. :-D A friend told me this joke about 15 years ago and it popped into my brain this morning for some reason. (apologies to the usual offended parties) David

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                          pseudonym67
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          David Cunningham wrote: German literature, French engineering, and English cooking. Goethe Mann Remarque Hesse Kafka concorde? hmmm mash pseudonym67 My Articles[^] "They say there are strangers who threaten us, In our immigrants and infidels. They say there is strangeness too dangerous In our theaters and bookstore shelves. That those who know what's best for us Must rise and save us from ourselves." Rush

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                          • C Colin Angus Mackay

                            Before reading your post I was going to say that Hell[^] is near Trondheim in Norway and Heaven[^] is just across the Bay from San Francisco.


                            "If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him, for an investment in knowledge pays the best interest." -- Joseph E. O'Donnell Not getting the response you want from a question asked in an online forum: How to Ask Questions the Smart Way!

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                            brianwelsch
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            And here I was getting ready for the Cayman Islands. :sigh: http://www.calle.com/world/CJ/0/Hell.html[^] BW The Biggest Loser


                            "Farm Donkey makes us laugh.
                            Farm Donkey hauls some ass."
                            -The Stoves

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                            • C Colin Angus Mackay

                              Before reading your post I was going to say that Hell[^] is near Trondheim in Norway and Heaven[^] is just across the Bay from San Francisco.


                              "If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him, for an investment in knowledge pays the best interest." -- Joseph E. O'Donnell Not getting the response you want from a question asked in an online forum: How to Ask Questions the Smart Way!

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                              Steve Mayfield
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              There is also a Hell in Minnesota - and it had frozen over many times http://www.funnyjunk.com/p/hellfrozeover-jpg.html[^]. Here's a classic Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?"[^] - an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam Steve

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                              • T thowra

                                I like snails, particularly the turbo ones in marine aquaria :) designed and directed by his red, right hand - top song by the way :) As for French food, they make nice bread but that's about it. I've always been disappointed whenever I've ventured into a French restaurant. In fact I remember one time, having had a starter, I decided I didn't want anything on the main menu and left the restaurant to go across the road for a pizza instead. I find just about any other nation's food preferable to French food, and the latter doesn't even come close to the fantastic flavours and variations avaiable in (say) Indian cuisine. No longer eating meat also puts one in a difficult position when eating in France. The French simply feel sorry for you :) "Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

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                                S Offline
                                Shog9 0
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                phykell wrote: I decided I didn't want anything on the main menu and left the restaurant to go across the road for a pizza instead. Ah, well - when compared to pizza, most foods start to look a bit lack-luster. Throw in a good beer, food of the gods right there... :D :-O
                                You**'re one microscopic cog** in his catastrophic plan...

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                                • T thowra

                                  I like snails, particularly the turbo ones in marine aquaria :) designed and directed by his red, right hand - top song by the way :) As for French food, they make nice bread but that's about it. I've always been disappointed whenever I've ventured into a French restaurant. In fact I remember one time, having had a starter, I decided I didn't want anything on the main menu and left the restaurant to go across the road for a pizza instead. I find just about any other nation's food preferable to French food, and the latter doesn't even come close to the fantastic flavours and variations avaiable in (say) Indian cuisine. No longer eating meat also puts one in a difficult position when eating in France. The French simply feel sorry for you :) "Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori!"

                                  K Offline
                                  K Offline
                                  KaRl
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Oh, I'm sorry for you :sigh:


                                  Tu tues une baleine, t'auras les écolos, t'auras Greenpeace, t'auras le commandant Cousteau sur le dos! Mais décime un banc de sardines, j'aime autant te dire qu'on t'aidera à les mettre en boîte!

                                  T 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • C Colin Angus Mackay

                                    Before reading your post I was going to say that Hell[^] is near Trondheim in Norway and Heaven[^] is just across the Bay from San Francisco.


                                    "If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him, for an investment in knowledge pays the best interest." -- Joseph E. O'Donnell Not getting the response you want from a question asked in an online forum: How to Ask Questions the Smart Way!

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                                    S Offline
                                    Steve McLenithan
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    There's also a hell in Michigan MapQuest...[^], and it does occasionally freeze over;)

                                    Found on bash.org
                                    <@Lerou> Lag makes baby Jesus cry.
                                    <@TempusRob> pssh
                                    <@TempusRob> talk about lag
                                    <@TempusRob> it took him 3 days to respawn

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                                    • D David Cunningham

                                      Heaven: German engineering, French cooking and English literature. Hell: German literature, French engineering, and English cooking. :-D A friend told me this joke about 15 years ago and it popped into my brain this morning for some reason. (apologies to the usual offended parties) David

                                      W Offline
                                      W Offline
                                      wrykyn
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      The happy man has An English house, a Chinese cook, a Japanese wife and an American salary The unhappy man has An English cook, a Japanese house, an American wife and a Chinese salary. "One of the Georges," said Psmith, "I forget which, once said that a certain number of hours' sleep a day--I cannot recall for the moment how many--made a man something, which for the time being has slipped my memory."

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                                      • P pseudonym67

                                        David Cunningham wrote: German literature, French engineering, and English cooking. Goethe Mann Remarque Hesse Kafka concorde? hmmm mash pseudonym67 My Articles[^] "They say there are strangers who threaten us, In our immigrants and infidels. They say there is strangeness too dangerous In our theaters and bookstore shelves. That those who know what's best for us Must rise and save us from ourselves." Rush

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                                        S Offline
                                        Stephane Routelous
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        I think Kafka was not german. He wrote in german, but if I remember correctly, he was from the Czech rep. ( I don't know the name of the country at his time)


                                        Stephane

                                        www.exotk.org

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                                        • S Stephane Routelous

                                          I think Kafka was not german. He wrote in german, but if I remember correctly, he was from the Czech rep. ( I don't know the name of the country at his time)


                                          Stephane

                                          www.exotk.org

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                                          pseudonym67
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Yeah and Jozef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski was born in Poland but he's still a writer of English Literature as he wrote his books in English as Joseph Conrad. pseudonym67 My Articles[^] "They say there are strangers who threaten us, In our immigrants and infidels. They say there is strangeness too dangerous In our theaters and bookstore shelves. That those who know what's best for us Must rise and save us from ourselves." Rush

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